The Officer and the Bostoner (Historical Western Romance) (Fort Gibson Officers Series, Book 1) (19 page)

~Chapter Twenty-Two~

Walking into the room where Mrs. Lewis and Sarah were sewing wouldn’t have been so hard if her legs didn’t feel as though they weighed a thousand pounds each. As it was, it took all of her strength to walk with Colonel Lewis to his home. She couldn’t even force a smile to greet the other ladies as she took her seat and waited for the colonel to return with the few personal affects she’d left in the room she and Wes had shared. Colonel Lewis had asked her if she wanted to collect them herself, but she’d declined. She’d let Wes gather them for her for she couldn’t force herself to go back into that room when everything she’d come to know and fall in love with here was now spinning out of control.

“Are you feeling well, dear?” Mrs. Lewis asked, cocking her head to the side in concern.

Apparently she didn’t know of the morning’s events. She would by tonight though. Allison was certain of it, she thought as she tried to swallow yet another sob.

“You’re just in time. Sarah was just about to start preparing the meat for dinner.”

Allison furrowed her brow. How was that good fortune? She knit her brow even more when Sarah said, “I was?”

“Yes, you were,” Mrs. Lewis said in a strange, almost strangled voice.

“
Oh, right!” Sarah jumped from her spot on the sofa. “I quite forgot. Would you like to help me, Allison?”

Allison tore her eyes away from where Mrs. Lewis was smiling as if she had something to hide. “Of course. I’d love to help you.”

Sarah just beamed, seemingly as uncertain of what Mrs. Lewis was doing as Allison was.

Together, they went to the kitchen, where a brown package sat on the worktable, presumably the meat they were about to prepare.

Allison swallowed her nerves. She’d never seen raw meat before.

“
Don’t worry,” Sarah murmured as she poured some water from the carafe into the basin. “If you’ve ever sat down for a meal in the dining hall, what’s in this package is no worse.”

She tentatively opened the package and nearly laughed. Sarah had been right. “The only difference between this and what they serve us each night is that the chunk residing in the middle of my plate has a hint of black along the edges and a mountain of salt on the top.”

Sarah scrunched up her nose. “Well, you take note of what I do to this and you’ll thicken your husband up in no time.”

What was left of Allison’s feigned humor faded. It wouldn’t matter if she became the best chef to ever prepare food, Wes would never eat anything she’d make. “I’ll be sure to watch carefully,” she forced herself to say.

“Is something wrong?” Sarah asked as she dipped the chunk of meat into the shallow water of the basin.

“
N-no.”

Sarah removed the meat, then dipped the other side. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“
Did you know you’re just as bad at lying as you are at sewing?”

Allison’s face burned.

Sarah plopped the piece of meat down on a nearby plate. “Here. Pat this dry while I look for what we need next.”

Allison obeyed, and she hummed, hoping it would keep Sarah from asking her anything else.

“That won’t work,” Sarah said, plopping three little unmarked, glass bottles down in front of her.

Allison quieted and turned the meat over to dry the other side. “Am I doing it wrong?”

“You know that you’re not doing anything wrong where the meat is concerned. But you’re doing a great wrong by pretending otherwise.” She took the towel from Allison and set it down. “I think that’s good enough. You still want it a little moist or it won’t absorb anything.”

Allison picked up the first bottle, uncorked it and took a sniff. “Mmm, what is that?”

Sarah laughed. “You really haven’t had any good cooking in a while. That’s just black pepper. Unground, of course.”

“
Oh.” Allison recorked the bottle and set it down.

“
Did you and Wes have a row?” Sarah’s question almost made Allison laugh. Almost.

“
I suppose you could say that,” she admitted. She absentmindedly spun the bottle of spice, trying to force her attention onto anything other than the way her chest hurt.

“
All couples have quarrels. The two of you will work it out. Just give it time.”

“
You’re very optimistic,” Allison said. She did her best to force a wobbly smile as the pain of seeing Wes walk away from her so easily sliced through her.

“
One who is certain can be optimistic.” Sarah poured some of this herb and a dash of that spice into a little bowl. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Allison. I don’t think there is anything to be worried about. Whatever has happened will be forgotten soon.”

Allison shook her head. “Not this.”

“Well, perhaps it won’t be forgotten so soon, but it will certainly be forgiven.” She grabbed the third bottle of spice and poured just a hint of it into her hand, then tipped the bottle and put some back in before dumping the rest into the bowl. “I know that General Ridgely and I are older than you, and our marriage might not be what some would consider exciting, what with me marrying a man fifteen years my senior. But these past few years have taught me many lessons, and I’d be happy to offer you advice if you’ll tell me what’s wrong.”

“
I—I can’t.”

“
It seems your lips and tongue are working just fine to me.”

“
Sarah, I don’t know how to explain it.” She wiped her eyes. “I love him, but I can’t have him.”

Sarah gave her a queer look then dipped the slab of meat into her bowl of herbs. She flopped the meat around a bit then put it back on the plate and dumped the remaining seasoning on top. “Didn’t you already marry him? I might be wrong, but I think that makes him yours.”

“Only temporarily.”

Sarah rinsed her hands and dried them, then reached for Allison’s wrist and pulled her over to the table. “Sit here while I get you some water. You’re not making any sense.”

Allison reached for Sarah’s arm to stay her. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s how it is. I didn’t come here as Wes’ mail order bride or his betrothed in some other way or anything else you might have heard or thought. I came here by accident and Wes was kind enough to offer me his protection by way of giving me his last name.” She took a deep breath. “It was only supposed to be temporary, just until I could get word to my betrothed, who was to meet me in Santa Fe and take me to his home in Austin.” She dashed away the tears that were now spilling out of her eyes. “When we met, I thought Wes was handsome and charming and had a kind heart to make such an offer. We both knew it would be temporary. I never expected to fall in love with him.”

“
How is this a problem? Not so long ago, most couples married because of circumstances and grew to love the other by weathering the storms of life together. This is no different.”

“
Did these couples have a third person join their marriage?”

Sarah’s brows knit, and then her eyes lit with understanding. “Is
that
what the commotion was this morning?”

Allison nodded. “I knew he’d come for me, and I took every chance I could find to remind both of us of that; but I think I secretly wished he wouldn’t really come.”

“Does Wes know this?”

“
He knows that I love him.”

“
Allison, I think you’re making this into a problem that isn’t real. Just tell your suitor that you’re a married woman now and that you’ve made a vow to another that you intend to keep. He cannot force you to dissolve your marriage. Your contract with him might have existed before you married Wes, but as far as I can see, your marriage to Wes has made it void.”

Allison bit her lip. That was true enough, but did it alter
everything
in their contract?

“
Go to him.” Sarah’s soft voice brought her from her fog.

She released her lower lip from her teeth, then licked it to soothe the pain. She’d been so lost in thought she hadn’t even realized she’d been biting her lip. “What should I say?”

Sarah looked at her as though she’d just asked the stupidest question. “How about, ‘I’m married to Wes and I won’t be signing any annulment papers, so you can just go back to Santa Fe right now?’”

Allison sputtered with laughter. “I can’t say that. It’s too forward. He’ll...he’ll.”

“He’ll what?” Sarah cut in. “Know you have no intention of marrying him and leave?”

Allison licked her lips. If that was his reaction, she’d be thrilled, but she knew that wouldn’t be how he’d respond. He needed to marry her. He’d given up his life in Boston, where eligible young ladies swarmed after him, for Austin, a town just starting to grow and boom, where he’d likely have a hard time finding a suitable lady within marrying age that still had all of her teeth and a sturdy constitution—or at least that’s what his letters had said when he’d written her, declaring it was time for her to come so they could be married.

He’d never made a huge fuss over her or any public displays to show his feelings for her, but in private, he’d always pressured her to marry him. It was only because of her parents’ deaths and her required mourning period that she hadn’t married him in Boston.

He was a gentleman, thus had a hard time showing his feelings, but they were still there: he wanted to marry her and she doubted that her marrying someone else would put him off completely. For if it had, he would have called off their arrangement when he assumed she was no longer a virgin—

“Allison?”

She started. “Sorry, I was just woolgathering.”

“Is there a reason you’re still here and haven’t gone out to speak to him yet?”

“
You mean am I hesitating on purpose?”

Sarah nodded.

“No. I—I—I don’t know what to say.” She swallowed. “How to word it.”

“
Would you like me to go with you?”

“
No,” Allison blurted. She forced a slight smile. “I mean, no. I’ll go myself.”

“
This is what you want, isn’t it?”

“
Yes,” Allison said without hesitation.

“
Are you sure? I know I haven’t known you for very long, but I’ve never seen you show a single hint of weakness, even if that meant spending several days sewing a dress you knew would never come to fruition.”

Sarah was right. Allison wanted to stay married to Wes more than anything, and there was only one way she could do that: she had to swallow her nerves and inform Nicholas of her decision. Then pray he’d understand and be lenient.

***

“
Nicholas?”

Nicholas spun on his heel to face her. “Allison, what a surprise to see you. I thought for sure you’d still be in that cabin, all locked away and out of sight.”

Allison fought to keep the scowl off her face. It was quite clear he didn’t approve of her wardrobe or find it fitting for the wife of an important businessmen like himself. How fortunate for him, she didn’t intend to be his wife. “I wanted to come out here and talk to you now that we don’t have an audience.”

Nicholas, who’d been standing with his arms crossed, under one of the covered walkways near the watchtower, frowned at her but stepped aside enough to allow her to come stand near him. “What is so important that you wished to embarrass both of us by coming out into public like that?”

She ignored his remark. In Boston, she’d found his quick wit and dry remarks charming, but for some reason, she didn’t see them that way any longer. It could be because they were directed at her, or perhaps it was because, indirectly, they were criticizing all the people she’d come to care about since coming here. Either way, it only strengthened her resolve to tell him of her wish.

“
Nicholas, I don’t wish to have my marriage annulled.”

“
Pardon?” he asked, his voice soft, belying the look in his eyes.

Allison shifted her weight and took a deep breath. “I—I married Wes, and I plan to stay married to him, if he’ll still have me, that is.”

Nicholas snorted. “He’d still have you.” Then, all humor vanished from his face and tone. “But he won’t. You’re mine, Allison.”

“
According to the law, I’m his wife, not yours,” Allison pointed out. She fisted her hands into her skirt and steeled her spine. She’d never spoken to him thus; she’d never had a reason to. But she’d witnessed other young ladies or even some boys who had spoken to him in a way he’d thought was out of line, and they always walked away with a bright red handprint across their cheek.

He took a step toward her and she flinched. He looked angry enough to slap her, but perhaps it was because there was a chance of someone witnessing it that he didn’t. “According to the law,” he began, his voice turning to steel, “your father signed a contract. One that means you are mine, if not yet by exchanging vows before a Man of God, certainly in every other regard. Not to worry though, I’ll make sure we take care of that formality and the one that follows before we leave this place.”