The One Left Behind (The One Series) (38 page)

Addison.

I’m pretty sure his talk had something to do with her and I had a sick feeling in my gut about it. Whatever it was, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. So, like a coward, I told him I’d have to look at my schedule and get back to him. Yeah, that was three weeks ago.

He’s called me several times since. His calls are becoming more frequent the longer I avoid him. He’s left messages too, but I’m being a chicken shit about this and don’t want to face whatever it is he has to tell me.

I go home, shower, and get ready for work. About an hour later I’m walking into my office. Charlotte is at my desk waiting for me.

“Hey,” I say to her. “Whatcha doing?”

“Nothing much. Thought you might need some caffeine.” She holds up an extra cup of coffee and I thank her as I rush over to it to take a sip. I sit down at my desk and decide to enjoy my coffee and chit chat with Charlotte for a bit before I dive in to my work.

“Thanks, you must have read my mind. I was just thinking about how I was going to go to the break room and make a cup,” I say and take another sip.

“I took ‘mind reader’ off of my resume when I applied here. I thought it might freak people out. Plus, it’s more fun to read people’s minds when they don’t know you’re doing it. You’d be surprised by all the juicy details I find out about people.” She says all of this with the straightest face and I now know why she’s such a good lawyer. I crack up laughing. She just responds to my laughter by giving me a sly grin before taking another sip of her coffee.

We’re casually talking when we’re interrupted by my phone going off alerting me that I have a text message. I open it up even though the name that pops up tells me it’s probably more of the same from the last three weeks.

Pierce: Hey, Colin. I’m trying to do the right thing here so I really need to speak with you. This is time sensitive and needs to be done before I go to NY next week. I’d appreciate some kind of response.

I sigh and rub my temples with my fingertips.

“What’s wrong?” Charlotte asks. I decide to get her opinion on the matter and see if I really am being a pussy about this whole thing.

I tell her about Pierce’s weird phone call and constant messages since I’ve been avoiding him like the plague.

“What are you afraid of?” she asks, twirling a pen from my desk between her fingers.

Losing her permanently.

I don’t say that out loud but I’m not sure I’m quite ready to tell her the whole story between Addison and I.

Instead I say, “I’m not sure. I just have a bad feeling that whatever he’s going to tell me is going to really upset me. I never really told you, but Addison and I used to be together. We’re friends now, but it’s still hard sometimes to see her with someone else.” I look down at my desk afraid to see the pity in her eyes. She clears her throat so I look back up.

“The only way to find out is to man up and meet him. He obviously feels it’s important if he keeps harassing you about it. You could be working yourself up for nothing, you know?”

She’s right and I tell her so which only causes her to get a smirk on her face like she already knows this. I grab my phone and text Pierce back.

Me: I’m sorry. Things have been really busy lately. When and where do you want to meet?

I get a response almost immediately.

Pierce: I’d like to meet today if you can. I don’t care where, whatever is easiest for you.

I think about where we can meet and consider keeping it on neutral ground and then scratch that thought immediately. If he’s going to give me shitty news then I want to be somewhere familiar. My office sounds good since I can go back to work if I need the instant distraction.

Me: Can you meet me at my office around noon?

Pierce: I’ll be there. Text me your address.

So I do. I look back up at Charlotte and exhale loudly.

“I’m proud of you,” she says. She stands up and is headed toward my door to leave.

I manage to give her a small smile. “Thanks?” I’m not sure why it comes out like a question, but that’s probably because I’m not sure why she’d be proud of me for this. She might think differently if she has the pleasure of witnessing the fallout if the news is tragic for me.

I stay pretty busy throughout the morning so I’m shocked when I look at the clock and see it’s 11:34. Only 26 more minutes to go.

About fifteen minutes later there’s a knock on my door. My stomach drops and I have to swallow hard to remove the knot in my throat.

“Come in,” I say.

Pierce walks in. “Hi, I’m a little early. I can wait out in the lobby if you’re still working.” He looks a little nervous which does nothing to help my nerves. If he’s anxious then it must be for good reason. Yep, this is going to be bad news for me.

“No, you’re fine. Have a seat.”

He sits down and is quiet for a while. I finally break the silence. “You wanted to talk to me about something?”

He clears his throat. “Oh, yes. Sorry. Well, I won’t beat around the bush and just get right to it. The reason I’m here is because I wanted to tell you that I plan to propose to Addison while we’re in New York next week.” He holds firm eye contact with me as he makes this declaration.

All the air has been sucked from my lungs and I’m struggling to breathe. I think my heart has stopped and I’m feeling slightly light headed. No, this can’t be happening. I had just started accepting the fact that she had a boyfriend, but a fiancé? A soon-to-be-husband? Absolutely not. This would finalize the fact that I’ve lost her forever. I think a small part of me felt that we would forever be in the friend zone, but there was still something in me that felt she would remember and we’d be together again. If she marries this guy, that hope vanishes completely.

I realize Pierce is staring at me waiting for a response. I’m not sure what kind of response he’s hoping to get, but I’m too stunned to form long coherent sentences at this point.

“I—I don’t know what to say.” I blink rapidly hoping this is just a dream and he will vanish.

“I’m not asking for your permission or your blessing, I’m just coming to you out of respect. I know you guys were engaged before the accident and I didn’t want you to be blindsided or hear this from someone else.”

What a noble fucking thing to do. I think for a moment and let my brain process what is happening. The only thought going through it for a few minutes is ‘I’ve lost her. I’ve lost her.’

“Well, I’m not going to lie and say that I’m happy about this because I’m not. I still love her and was willing to wait forever for her to come back to me. But I can’t very well stop you from asking her.” I lock eyes with him and don’t break eye contact as I continue, “All that I ask—all that I need you to promise me—is that you will treat her right. You will cherish her and be everything that she needs and deserves. I swear to God if you hurt her in any way, I will break your fucking legs. Just be the man that unfortunate circumstances didn’t allow me to be for her.”

“Colin, you have my word that I will treat her right. She’s the best person I’ve ever met and I love her like I’ve never loved anything before. I promise I won’t hurt her.”

A few short minutes later he’s out of my office. I’m frozen in my seat replaying what just happened. I feel like I could cry. Him coming here saying he’s asking her to marry him just reopens all those old wounds that I put band-aids over in an attempt to heal. I feel sick to my stomach as my proposal replays in my mind.

Everything was perfect. I had this romantic picnic set up with all her favorite food, even gummy bears. It was so cute how she thought we were celebrating my new position here at the law firm. She really had no idea that I was going to propose to her. I tried to say something very romantic and eloquent to her. I’m not sure I succeeded. All I know is my stomach was in a hundred knots and I was terrified she’d say no; that she thought it was too soon.

“I never believed in love at first sight, but I knew the moment I saw you that you were it for me.”

“You make every breath I breathe worth taking and not a day goes by where I can imagine my life without you.”

“Will you make me the happiest man on Earth and do me the honors of being my wife? I can’t promise it will be easy all the time, but I can promise it will be worth fighting for.”

“Addison Jade Ramsey, will you marry me?”

She had her reservations but gave me a resounding yes and made me the happiest man alive. The one line in my proposal speech that keeps replaying is the one about fighting for us. I promised her we would be worth fighting for. I guess I didn’t hold up my part of the deal since she gave up fighting for us the day she met Pierce.

I try to snap myself out of these thoughts since all they’re doing is adding salt to the wounds. I go back to work but am unable to focus. The only person I can think to unload this crap on is Charlotte. I call her office phone.

“Hey, are you busy?”

“Not really, just reading this three million page transcript. I swear my client is the dumbest thing on the planet. I should really just sit back and let him defend himself since he thinks he’s so much smarter than me.”

“Would you mind stopping by my office when you get a chance? I just finished my meeting with Pierce.” I rub my eyes trying to release the pressure building behind them.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be right in.”

A couple minutes later she walks in and closes the door then has a seat at my desk.

“So, spill. How’d it go? What was the big secret?”

“He’s proposing to Addison.”

“Oh, hell.” Both her eyebrows shoot up her forehead. I don’t think she was expecting that.

“My thoughts exactly.” I lean back in my chair and stare blankly at the wall over Charlotte’s shoulder.

“Well, what did you say? Are you happy for them or are you still not over her?”

I’m definitely not over her, but for some reason I don’t tell Charlotte that. I think I’m afraid it’ll make me look weak. I look back to her before saying, “He said he wasn’t looking for my blessing, just giving me a heads up out of respect. What am I suppose to say to that? Congrats? Yeah, right.” I rub my head as I feel a headache coming on stemming from the pressure behind my eyes.

“So you told him to fuck off?”

“No, after my brain could form sentences again I told him that if he hurt her I’d break his legs and that he needs to treat her right because she deserves it.”

“Sounds to me like you did give him your blessing,” she says matter of factly.

I think on this for a second. Did I? I threatened him, yes, but by telling him to treat her well was I condoning his planned engagement? I rest my elbows on my desk and lean over. Fuck me. I did give him my blessing.

“You just realized it, didn’t you?” Charlotte asks sympathetically. I’m trying to hide my inner turmoil from her, but she might be more perceptive than I give her credit for.

“Yeah, I wasn’t intending to do that, but the words just came out. I just want her to be happy and Pierce better do that for her or we’ll have problems.”

A small smile spreads across her face. “You’re a good friend, C. She’s lucky to have you in her life still. If you care about her, then keep doing what you’re doing. Be there and support her.”

I repeat Charlotte’s last statement through the rest of my day and when I get home after work. I do still care about her, and if this makes her happy then what choice do I have? I’ll just have to find a way to move past this too and try not to be miserable about it.

THE TRIP TO New York this time around is a lot colder now that it’s December, but I’m used to the cold since I grew up with it in New Jersey. Pierce mocks me while I am packing my suit case. I pack long sleeved shirts and sweats to layer over. I pack my Uggs and winter coat, hat, and gloves. Pierce is helping me close my suitcase while I sit on it so he can zipper it. He is joking that I packed too much and I tell him not to raid my stash of sweat shirts when he’s freezing his balls off.

We are staying at the St. Regis again and I couldn’t be happier. The beauty of this place will never become boring to me. Pierce checks us in and my face grows a little red thinking of our little encounter in here our last visit.

“I know what you’re thinking, and if you want I will be happy to relive that moment with you,” Pierce says breaking me out of my thoughts of that day.

“Oh really?” I arch an eyebrow. “And what if we get caught again?”

“Well let’s just hope they are as awesome about it as Harold and his wife were.” We both quietly giggle and I place a kiss on Pierce’s lips.

As the elevator dings and the doors open, Pierce waves his hand for me to go first. We go to our suite and I slide the key card in the door. Before I can walk in, Pierce scoops me up and carries me into our suite. He kisses me just before he places me down on the couch.

“What was that for?” I ask with my eyebrows scrunched.

“Just practicing for the future.” Pierce says with a shrug.

I like that he can talk about “our future” and not go running for the hills. We don’t discuss it often, but if anything does come up he doesn’t avoid the topic. He actually encourages us to talk about our future when it comes up. I love that about him. He’s not afraid of the unknown with me.