The Oracle Rebounds (4 page)

“We have a French exchange student coming,” Mom says, too cheerful to be trusted.

“Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“Mrs. Martin called from the school. They’ve been having a hard time finding homes for the exchange students. I thought it would be nice if we helped out.” She gives an innocent smile, but I know this must be part of some devious plan. For a holy woman, Mom can be downright wicked.

I look to the Swede for help, but his expression is annoyingly cheerful.

“How could you do this without asking me? You know I’ve been down lately. I don’t want to have to show some French girl around.” I could see it now: hours in gray museums, endless lineups for tourist attractions. “How long will she be here for anyway?”

“Two weeks.” Mom dabs the side of her mouth with a napkin. “And it’s not a girl. His name is Benoit and he’s
seventeen. We thought you’d be okay with that.” She and Erland exchange a look.

“Are you serious? You’re letting some strange French guy in the house for two weeks! What if he tries to assault me?”

I can tell Mom and Erland are trying not to laugh. Okay, fine, I’m being a bit of a drama queen, but still. A French guy in our house? There’s no telling what sort of European debauchery could happen.

“I’ll ask him not to assault you, dear,” she says. “We don’t know for a fact that he’s strange. Anyway, I think it will be good for you.”

“I have to entertain him for two whole weeks! That’s just cruel.”

“You won’t have to be with him every day, honey. His teachers will have plenty of activities planned. But it would be nice if you took him out a few times.”

“You have not been going out much lately,” Erland points out. “Now is your chance. Show Benoit the city. You would be great at that. We will give you money toward it.”

Mom smiles. “Don’t you think it’s about time you had some fun?”

You know you need to get a life when:

•  You check your email dozens of times a day, hoping to hear from your ex-boyfriend—the same ex-boyfriend who hasn’t said more than two words to you since you broke up.
  
•  Your parents have to fly you in a companion from overseas.
  
•  Your mom buys you a bunch of teen romance novels when she used to tell you to go to the library instead.
  
• Your stepdad looks up your horoscope without you even asking him, and says you will find new romance soon. (C’mon, Erland!)
  

I don’t have time to wallow in self-pity, though, because a situation arises that demands my attention. I’m on the phone with my older sister, Tracey, when she says, “Guess what? I’m going to try online dating! I signed up on Lavalife and Match.com.”

Uh-oh, this is not my area of expertise. When I think of online dating, I think of freaks, perverts, stalkers.

A little background on Tracey: she’s amazing. Really, she’s the best sister ever, and she actually likes having me as a little sister. Problem is, she’s had bad luck with guys since…well, forever. Tracey hasn’t dated much in the past few months. Around the time I got together with Jared, she had a relationship relapse with her ex. After that, she took a few months off dating, but has emerged again, slowly and cautiously. I was intent on setting her up with Jared’s gorgeous and spiritual social worker, Rodrigo, but as soon as Tracey decided she was ready to date again, it turned out Rodrigo had a new girlfriend. Talk about timing.

And now this. Internet dating. How can I give her advice when I know so little about it?

“Kayla? Are you there?”

“Uh…yeah.”

“Corinne met the sweetest guy online last month. She’s talked me into signing up.”

“Cool, but you’ve got to give me a minute to wrap my mind around this. The whole idea scares me. You hear about women getting stalked by people they’ve met online.”

“They get stalked by people they meet other places, too. But you’re right, I’ll have to be careful. It’s still worth exploring. I’ve known a bunch of people who’ve met their mates online. Mark at work met his wife through a site years ago, and that was in the early days of online dating. Now there are thousands of potential guys. Mom says that at least half of the couples in her marriage prep courses meet that way.”

“Maybe I should try it, too.” The word
rebound
flashes in my mind with neon lights.

“Don’t you dare. You’re too young. And there’s no need. When you’re in high school and college, there are loads of opportunities to meet guys. It’s afterward that things dry up.”

“Don’t worry, Trace. I’m not going to look for a guy online. But you’re right that it’s worth a shot for you. Let me do a little research before you go on any dates, okay?”

“Yay! But hurry—I’ve already started chatting with a couple of guys, and it’s only a matter of time before we go out.”

Talk about a fire under my butt!

Over the next couple of days, I plunge into the world of online dating. I spend hours surfing the internet for articles, and I check out a bunch of dating websites.

In the end, I come up with:

The Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating

The Dos:

•  Do put up a realistic photo. Sure, replacing your picture with a supermodel will get a guy’s attention, but do you really want to see the disappointment in his eyes when he sees the real you?
  
•  Do look good—but don’t go over the top. If you dress up too fancy or wear too much makeup, he may wonder why you’re putting so much effort in.
  
•  Do trust your instincts. If you get a bad vibe from him, then don’t spend much time with him and don’t tell him many details about your life.