The Other Fish in the Sea (24 page)

“So, to be clear, you’re saying you’d like me to break-up with him so
you
can have me, is that right?” I’m trying to keep a straight face and be specific at the same time…Tristan would love this.

“YES!”

This is hilarious…

“Okay. I will.”

“What?!”

“If you want me to break-up with him, I will.”

“Oh no…I’m not gonna have you fuckin’ resent me for making you do something like that. No fuckin’ way. And why the fuck are you laughing now? I love it when you laugh, but you’re kinda being bipolar and it’s weirding me out…”

“You’d be laughing too, though…I was thinking of breaking up with him even before this all happened.” Which is, you know, just hysterical considering the circumstances.

“Why the hell would I laugh at that?”

“I was thinking about it because he’s been pushing me to have sex.”
 

“What?! You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me!”

I knew he’d find the humor in this.

“No, I’m really not. He’s been bugging me about it for—”

“Never mind, I really don’t fuckin’ care. Just dump him and call me right after you do so I can fuckin’ sleep at night.”

I’m totally giggling again. “Uh, okay…I don’t have your number, though.”

“Yeah, you sorta do…”

“Huh?”
 

“When you fell asleep for a while last night, I got a little nuts and fucked with your phone.”

Oh shit…he kills me.
 

“Okay, I
love
the ringtone.” It’s “Leather and Lace” by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley. I got talked into signing it with him Thursday night at the campfire and he chose it for my first time. See? He really is sweet deep down. “But I’m gonna have to insist on a new contact picture…I really don’t need to see your penis every time you send me a text or call.”
 

Yeah, he’s a totally sweet-bad-boy-hottie with an emphasis on the bad-boy. He has a bunch of tattoos, but the one on the side of his neck is really kind of pretty, though; it’s a pair of black angel wings surrounded by peacock-blue and purple twinkle-like stars. And he’s even got a umm…a “piercing.” You know, like his ears aren’t the only place his body is pierced, which is what I’d be reminded of every time he calls or texts. And he’s totally cracking up right now. Of course, I am too.

“You might wanna change what’s his name’s picture too then.”

Oh for the love of God…

“Can I assume then that you have my number and inapprop— Oh no…you didn’t,” I gasped and felt my face heat up.

“Come on, Sexy, you weren’t embarrassed to ask or when I took ‘em for you…and they’re
beautiful
pictures.”

Mmhm, so yeah. Wednesday night after everyone went to bed, he and I stayed up almost all night just talking and I ended up showing him my grandmother’s photo. He saw the resemblance right away just like Kate had but I still didn’t. I really wanted to believe them though. I wanted to feel as beautiful, brave and as alive as my grandma was her entire life so I thought about it and then asked Brandon if he would help me recreate my grandma’s picture. I know…why would I ask a guy I hardly even know to take pictures of me without my clothes on, right? But the thing is, not only am I excessively attracted to him, I also feel unbelievably comfortable and safe with Brandon and I knew if I asked, he wouldn’t embarrass me or judge me for wanting to do it. I kept feeling like this weekend was my only chance to be carefree and do something for me, regardless of how reckless it might’ve seemed. And really, who better to be reckless with than a bad-boy, you know?
 

He agreed to help me so we made plans to do it the next evening after we all ate Thanksgiving dinner. He told me he’d ride out in the morning to find a good spot and all I had to do was come up with a bunch of bobbie-pins for my hair and find a blank memory card for my camera. Everyone taking a nap after dinner made it so easy to get out of camp together without being seen and absolutely everything went like clockwork. He didn’t even watch me undress…he kept his back turned until I was in the right pose before he ever turned around.
 

We’d taken probably two dozen pictures when that mega-attraction kicked into high-gear. And I take full responsibility for starting it… The wind had kicked up and messed up my hair; he was simply rearranging it for me to look like my grandma’s again when I kissed him. We ended up doing a little more than making-out in the middle of the desert with him fully clothed and me, well…not. From there it just escalated. I looked at it as me giving him my virginity in exchange for him giving me a weekend of reckless abandon that I would be able to cherish forever just as much as I do my grandma’s memory and picture. And I will…all of it. The thing is, he and I were supposed to be the only ones who know about those pictures…

“But it’s on your
phone
, Brandon...”
 

“Yeah, but I only took the one and I cropped it so it’s mostly your face. Besides, no one you know is gonna see it but me and even if they did, they’ll think it’s your grandma…especially after what that fuckwit said last night,” he told me and then started laughing.

“What?” I asked, wondering
what
in the world he would find funny about that whole thing. I mean last night when I asked why he didn’t look at my grandma’s picture like everyone else, Brandon told me what Dylan said and when he did, he wasn’t amused in the
slightest
.
 

“Well the ah…movie theme song for
Titanic
is your ringtone...”

“Brandon!”

He’s still totally laughing at me. “What?! When a chick asks if you wanna play Titanic, that makes the tragedy and the gay song fuckin’ hot!”

“Come on, change the song at least…I can just imagine all the shit Derek’s gonna say when he hears it and then it’ll get back to MaryAnn and then Camie, and then it’ll only be a matter of time before everyone else finds out.”

“Wait a second, that sounds like you don’t want anyone to know about us… Are you ashamed of being with me?”

“No! God no…not at all…I just don’t want them to know the specifics of how you and I got together, you know?”
 

“Nope, bullshit. Tell ‘em. I was fine with keeping this a secret before, but you’ll never be able to fuckin’ relax if you keep lyin’. Besides, I’m not gonna fuckin’ sneak around with my own goddamned girlfriend.” He called me his girlfriend. Giggle.

“Bu—”

“Tell ‘em or I will. I almost did last night but I didn’t think my answer of ‘Oh, well the most daring place I’ve had sex was earlier tonight with Melissa on the back of my quad basically in full sight of anyone who rode by,’ would be the best way to go about it, you know?” Yikes! See what I meant about the dicey game of truth or dare?

“Yeah, I was holding my breath on that one, and I almost blurted out that you’re a shark now too when Pete called Derek one… Okay, I’ll tell them, but I’m not prepared to do it today and I need to break-up with Keith first too…”

“I’ll make you a deal then, I’ll change the song after you tell ‘em.”

“Is that bribery?”

“No, it’s incentive.”

“What are you gonna change it to? Knowing you, it’s probably worse than the Titanic one, like ‘Dirty Little Secret’ or something, so mayb—”

“I actually did consider that one last night (figures), but nope. And don’t try to get outta this, anyone who has a problem with us can fuck off. Plus it’s a good song, you’ll like it.”
 

“What is it?”

“Do you know Jane’s Addiction?”

“A little…” All I can think of is “Been Caught Stealing” and I don’t think I’d like that much more than “My Heart Will Go On.”

“Okay, well it’s a song called ‘Classic Girl’…here, listen to it. I’m gonna use the end of it…”

He played it for me and he’s
so
right…I love it. In fact, I’m tearing up again. Jeez, he really knows how to tug on my heartstrings. It’s so weird that it would be a guy who really doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything who would make me feel so
wanted
. Not wanted as in physically desired, although he definitely does that, but wanted for just me, you know?

“You’re crying again?”

“Yeah, I really like it.”
 

“Good, but you can’t have it until you get rid of him and tell everyone about me.”

“Deal. So, umm, do you wanna…?”

“Hell yeah, but we’re not gonna.”
 

“What? Why not?”
 
That
was
our original purpose for coming out here after all!

“Yeah, see? I knew you’d go off and screw your boyfriend…I’ve turned you into a fuckin’ horn-dog…so here’s the deal, we’re not having sex again until you tell him to fuck off and you’re mine.” He’s totally making fun of me and kissing my neck at the same time. Giggle.

“More incentive?”

“No, good old fashion, goddamned bribery.”

Brandon’s “bribery” was so effective that once we got back to camp and I had to watch him pull away and leave me with tears in my eyes, I gathered my friends before we took off too and did what I had to do, thinking to myself, well, let’s just get it over with…fast, like ripping a band-aid off.

“Okay, so umm…I’ve been cheating on Keith with Brandon since Thursday and I know how you all feel about cheating, but I was gonna break-up with Keith anyway and as soon as I do, Brandon and I are gonna be together for real, and I hope this won’t make you think really badly about me, but what’s done is done and I’m just trying to be honest now. So that’s it.”
 

“I already knew,” Tristan said with a wink and a smug grin. Jesus, he’s worse than Kate.

“Me too,” Kate, Jeff, Jillian,
and
Pete said at the same time. You know, like, holy shit!

“I did too, but not until last night when I came back to the tent and you weren’t there. I checked the bathroom and then went and told Tristan I couldn’t find you and he suggested I check Brandon’s tent.” And that was Camie…
 

“Wh—how’d you all know?!”

“I know everything,” Jillian said expressionless. Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.

“I saw you guys kissing when I was out riding yesterday,” Pete informed me with a shrug of his shoulders. “And actually, I wasn’t calling Derek a shark last night, I was calling Brandon one to see how he’d react.”

“Wh—how’d he react?” I totally missed it! Brandon was sitting next to Derek and I was looking at them, but I never saw Brandon do anything telling!

“He covered his smirk by taking a drink and then he looked at Derek. It was subtle but it was enough.”

“Yeah, I saw that…and I had my suspicions earlier, but I totally knew for sure something was up with you guys when you hesitated on drinking when Bridget asked if anyone had ever made-out with someone in the tent who wasn’t their significant other and Tristan covered your ass for you. I mean, kissing after a date doesn’t count as making out and we all know that’s all you and he ever did, and
then
you were literally holding your breath when Brandon almost answered the most daring place he’d had sex. By the way, I want details on that later,” Kate said with a giggle.

“Yeah, that confirmed it for me too, but what originally had me thinking was how he looked at you when Jeremy wanted to play spin the bottle Friday night.” Leave it to Jeff to pick up on the jealousy…he’s been riding Tristan about his for a month. “I mean did you guys see his face last night when I asked Melissa who her first kiss was with and if she liked it? Hilarious!”

“Yeah, I thought steam was gonna come outta his ears when I told everyone how I found her and MaryAnn passed out naked… And all that shit was kind of a big give away, but I knew before any of that. What did it for me was seeing your guilt which showed up precisely at the same time Jeff prefaced his story Thursday night.”

“Huh?”

“Well, when Jeff mentioned enticing nude photography, you took one look at Brandon and then pounded that drink he made you, and since I lived for a week staring guilt in the face and know a little something about it, I figured more than a just photo shoot went down. Feels good to come clean, doesn’t it?” Yeah it does. It really, really does.

“Yeah but, holy shit, you guys…was anyone gonna say anything to me about it?”

“I would’ve if you didn’t fess up today or tomorrow…I wouldn’t let you live through what I went through, even though the circumstances are a little different. Guilt is guilt, and it’ll eat you alive if you let it.”

“Thanks, Tristan. I kind of forgot about what that whole thing did to you, and you’re right, it was eating at me. The cheating part I mean, not the pictures he took for me...those I love.”

“By the way, you’re welcome,” Tristan said.

“Well I just said thanks…”

“I know, but I covered your ass with the have you ever posed for non-baby naked pictures question too.”

“You were lying about that?!” I asked him. Because you know…it
is
Tristan.

“No, but I wasn’t gonna admit to something if I knew I could get away with the lie…and I only owned up to that one because you hesitated again and people noticed. I distracted them with my admission like that because I just thought it would be wise to keep that whole thing between you and your photographer for the time being, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, especially considering the untrustworthy mixed company,” Camie said and nodded in agreement.

“But they’re gone so
now
can we do a side-by-side comparison?” Jeff asked me and laughed. Really, he just can’t help himself.

“No way! Those are for my eyes only, you pig. And watch who you tease me about it around…Tristan’s right, I don’t want the world finding out about that.”

“Duh,” all the guys said at once.

And no, I’m not gonna mention that Brandon has one of his own. The curiosity would get the better of one of them and it would be too easy for them to sneak a peek. Brandon showed me the one he took with his phone and aside from a little bare skin that gives the impression I’m naked, it’s harmless and I can live with him having it. It’s just that when he was trying to get me to produce the same expression on my grandma’s face, he told me to think of wanting something out of reach…something I couldn’t have but desperately wanted. And I did. It was him. But because of that, all the pictures regardless of the nudity are very personal and intimate, which I want to keep between Brandon and me.