The Other Fish in the Sea (23 page)

“Oh my God…are they
arguing
? I can’t hear them…”
 

Hurrah! I’d so like to kiss Pete for keeping Kate’s attention diverted from me! Oh but wait, then I’d just be adding to my guy issue, wouldn’t I? Shit. I need to eat.

“I doubt it. She doesn’t argue, she just goes for the throat when she’s done playing with her food. Hey, my wrists don’t look
that
bad, do they? They kind of itch.”

“No, I wouldn’t have even noticed if Kate hadn’t said anything, but if they itch, you should probably take some allergy medicine or something.”

“Oh that’s a good idea…I wonder if I brought any Benedryl with me…”

“Hey, I’m starving, you guys. I’ll see you later, okay?”
 

“Yeah, okay. If you don’t have any, Camie, I think I might…”

Whew! I almost feel like yelling
“FREEEEDOM!”
in a Braveheartesque way now that I’m away from Kate and the tent, only I’m totally not free. I’m trapped within myself.

“You
videoed
that whole thing with Bridget coming on to me?”

Uh-oh. Pete’s squaring off with Jillian by the fire ring. I really wanna hang around and watch but, I
am
famished. Plus there’s always the chance I’d get hit by shrapnel and Jillian notices even more than Kate does.

“Of course. Quit throwing a hissy fit. I’m putting it in the video compilation for Curtis.”

Video compilation?! Shrapnel and breakfast be damned. I
will
stand a little ways away, though, in case I have to hit the deck or run.
 

“Oh my God, fine, you little hellion…just don’t put my name anywhere on it. What else is going in the compilation?”

“Just Bridget stuff. The one I’m making for
me
will have all the highlights…a couple things from Wednesday and Thursday, most everything from Friday night, and then a few things from last night.”

“Like?”

“Brandon’s semi-naked rendition of I’m a little teapo—” (Giggle.)

“You gonna put your showdown with Jeremy on the net?”

“Don’t interrupt, it’s rude.”

“Get over it.”

It’s really interesting…Pete doesn’t look or sound scared at all. I would be. Of course I also have something to hide whereas Pete doesn’t. Still, you’d think he’d be smart enough to not provoke her. I mean I completely
adore
Camie’s little sister, but I know she can wipe the floor with any of us if she wanted to and that deserves a little fear and respect.

“You better stop laughing, Sun King, or I’ll broadcast your Betty Crocker video all over Youtube, Facebook,
and
the six o’clock news.” Like I just told you, fear and respect…

Tristan just strolled up and he couldn’t help laughing at them. Jillian is calling him that because he’s shirtless as usual and he just stretched himself out in a folding lounge chair to work on his freaking perfect tan. You know, because even with sun block, spending his whole life surfing or swimming hasn’t made his skin perpetually golden brown already. Also, “Sun King” is the name of the song playing right now. He really is freaking hot, though.
Not
that I’m interested in him
at all
anymore…I’m just stating a fact.
 

“Calm down, I’m just laughing about Ferb puking on Jeff last night…can I hope that’ll make the video?”

“That depends on which one of you pays me more, but I would think your baby-doll story would be worth more to you.”

“Explain to me again exactly, how are you related to my sweet and innocent girlfriend?”

On that note, I think it might be getting time to hit the deck. I’m outta here before blood is spilled and the pancakes get cold.
 

Oh hell. There he is.
But
, of course he’s not alone…
grrr
. Oh well, they’d probably think it was weird if I ignored them and ate by myself, so I guess I should try to act normal and just go sit with MaryAnn and the rest of them.

“Morning, you guys!” Even though I’m not feeling like me, it would look odd if I wasn’t my usual effervescent self, right?

I got verbal morning greetings from everyone
except
him.
He
winked at me. I had to swallow my giggle. I can’t help it; he’s not just hot, but
totally
bad-boy-hot and he makes me wanna giggle like a buffoon.
 

He and I basically ignored each other while we all ate and chit-chatted for a bit and then he did what I was hoping
and
fearing he would do. He leaned back in his chair a little, made eye contact, and then with a quick raise of his eyebrows and a quick jerk of his head to the side, he asked if I wanted to go somewhere alone.

I do. I really, really do, but I’m so emotionally torn today.

I nodded once and then glued my eyes to the ground to hide my grin. I already feel horrible so what’s it gonna hurt to spend a little more time with my guilty pleasure before it has to end? And it will end. He’s not interested in anything more than this weekend and well, there’s the little matter of my boyfriend, even though I’m pretty much over him.

“Okay guys, I’m gonna get a ride in before we have to pack up.”
 

Swallowing another giggle here! He really could’ve phrased that better. Or maybe I’m the only one who heard the hidden meaning…let’s hope that’s the case.

“You’re not goin’ alone, are you?”
 

Nope. Even though my bad-boy-hottie doesn’t play by the rules, he won’t be breaking the no riding alone rule, so Jeremy and his split lip can just stop with the questions now, preferably
before
I answer by mistake. I do that sometimes. You know, give up more information than I mean to.

“Nah, I’m gonna catch up with Parker and Curtis.”
 

They’re just riding out of camp now. I bet that’s why he waited until now to leave. Thank God he’s better at covert operations than I am. I’m learning though and I think I might order some stuff from that spy catalog. (Giggle.)
 

I waited until he was riding away before I excused myself and went to throw my plate away. Then, after making sure no one was watching, I ducked around to the other side of Uncle Bob’s RV to wait. My bad-boy’s not catching up with Parker and Curtis; he’s circling around so no one sees him come back for me. I didn’t have to wait much more than five minutes before I was able to take the helmet he handed me and climb onto the back of his quad and we were off to find a little spot of sand where we could be alone. Well, not really alone, but way away from anyone who might recognize us.

“Mornin’, Sexy.”

I didn’t have to swallow my giggle this time, but it
was
cut short when his calloused fingers brushed a piece of hair from my eyes so I could see his. Then he gently framed my face with his hands and gave me a long, deep kiss. I honestly thought the Sun King being such a great kisser had totally ruined it for me with anyone else, but
this
guy ranks right up there with him.
Thank God.
And not that I have much experience with anything else to compare him to, but
I
think he’s pretty great at all the rest of it too.
 

“So, what’s up with you today? You’re not bubbly.” Wow, I guess I need to work on my acting.

“Nothing really.”
 

I don’t know what to say. Like should I just say, “Well, I’m super glad you kiss just as good as Camie’s boyfriend and you’ve been a “boatload” of fun, and even though I wouldn’t take back my decision to have sex for the first, second, third, fourth, and so on time with you, I feel like elephant shit because I’ve been cheating on my boyfriend in addition to lying to my friends about it, and I’m assuming since we already talked a little about it, you’re just gonna forget about me the second the weekend is over, so thanks for the memories, it’s been great!”? How would that sound? Think it would go over well?

“You still sore?”

“Yeah, but only a little.” Yesterday morning was rough, though…like plain ol’ sitting was even uncomfortable for a while. My nether regions were in total shock as a result of having sex for the first time the night before.

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault.”

I giggled a little again when he just raised one of his eyebrows dubiously.
 

“Yeah okay, it
is
your fault, but you know what I meant…” He’s kinda well endowed, you know what I mean?

“Yeah, I know. So aside from that, what’s wrong with you? Are you upset I crashed on you earlier?”

“Mm-mm, no...you needed the sleep.”

“I woulda survived…and I know somethin’s wrong so what is it?”

I sighed. “I feel like shit about this.”

“You feel like shit about
what
exactly?” He sounds pissed. I wasn’t expecting that.

“This. You. Everyth—”

“Fuck! I
knew
it.”

“Knew what?” He has to know I’d feel bad about cheating on Keith and lying to my friends, but for some reason, I don’t think that’s really what he’s talking about.

“You fuckin’ regret sleeping with me.” Oh shit. He’s not pissed, I think he’s
hurt
. I was
totally
not expecting
that
!

 
“NO! Brandon, I
don’t
regret that. I made a choice and I wouldn’t change it even
if
I could. And it’s not like you didn’t give me any opportunities to change my mind beforehand…I mean, you asked me if I was sure like a thousand times. I was. I am.”

“Then why do you feel like shit, Melissa, explain it to me.”

“Because I have a
boyfriend,
Brandon, you know that an—”

“Yeah, I
know
…thanks for the fuckin’ reminder.”

What the hell?
 

“I thought you didn’t care about that…”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t think I did either.”
 

“Wh—I’m confused. I don’t even know what to say. Wasn’t this just supposed to be…I don’t know…a fling or something? I mean, we talked about that…it was
your
idea.”
 

“Yeah, I know all that, but that was before you gave yourself to me...I didn’t know how you were gonna be…how much it was gonna mean.”

“Hey, don’t stress. Remember
I
came on to
you
, and it did mean a lot to me, but I’m really not trying to make you feel guilty about anything.” I’m guilty enough for the both of us. Plus, he doesn’t have to face my boyfriend, who I should probably just break-up with anyway, or my friends, who seriously dislike cheaters, everyday like I do with this weighing on him.
 

“Yeah, see, that’s not what I’m talking about…”

“So explain what you’re talking about. Explain it like I’m three, because you’ve lost me.”

“That. That right there…I
can’t
lose you because you were never mine to begin with. I wasn’t talking about how much it meant to you, although I
am
really fuckin’ glad to hear it did mean at least
something
to you, I was talking about me…how much it meant to
me
.”

OH.

“I—I didn’t know…I just thought…well, I guess I just thought it was no big deal for you.”

“
Humph.
I guess I’m fuckin’ full of surprises, huh?”

We just sat there, straddling the seat of his quad and facing each other, both of us completely vulnerable, until I felt a little tear escape and trickle down my cheek.
 

Here’s the thing I’ve learned about Brandon; he really
is
a bad-boy—not that I’m a very good girl…obviously—and his indelicate manner of speech and devil-may-care attitude make him come off as being highly insensitive to others, and he is to a point, but he physically and emotionally treats girls—at least me anyway—like we’re the most precious and fragile thing on the planet. So when he takes his macho mask off, it’s almost too much, thus the ridiculous crying I do.

“Oh shit…you’re crying again.
Please
don’t cry.”
 

Good luck…he wiped the tear away so softly that the tenderness of his touch and naked emotion in his expression opened a damned flood gate.
Just
like the other night when he made love to me for the first time.
Now
I know that was what he was doing…I didn’t then.
 

“Fuck. I shouldn’t have said anyth—”
 

“Why not?”

“It’s not like I can change anything…all it does is make you feel even shittier.”

“What would you change? Would you take it all back?” Please, please say no…

“Fuck no! But what difference does it fuckin’ make?”

“You totally lost me again.” I think not getting very much sleep the last couple of nights is totally messing with my cognitive functions.
 

“Jesus, Melissa…don’t you get it? I don’t
want
to lose you! But I have no fuckin’ say in it and it pisses me off! And I knew it…I knew I should’ve walked away Friday night after that fuckin’ punk brought up spin the bottle and I wanted to reenact that goddamned scene from Twilight when I thought about anyone else even
kissing
you! But I didn’t walk away and
now
I have to live with having taken your fuckin’ virginity too, and the reality that you’re gonna go off and have
sex
and do everything else
I
fuckin’ taught you with your goddamned, fuckin’
boyfriend
!”

Okay, I am
so
shocked right now. When this whole thing started he made it
very
clear we were just gonna have fun and that was it, no strings attached. And I was
fine
with that. I’ve been sitting here thinking he’s upset because he thought I was trying to guilt him into something more or attach strings of some kind. I was wrong. He
is
pissed. And hurt. And apparently, he’s jealous too. Well isn’t this an unexpected twist.

“Well, what do you want me to do to make you feel better?”
 

“Aw fuck…if you stay with him, I’m not
gonna
feel better, Melissa, but I didn’t wanna put that on you.
That’s
why I shouldn’t have said anything.”