The Other Fish in the Sea (42 page)

I tried to do what Tristan told me to, but I only managed the same, rattled breathing and it was really freaking me out. My throat felt like it was collapsing on itself and I wanted to ask him what was wrong with me, but I couldn’t catch enough breath to get any words out. When we got to his car we found that Jillian had done exactly as she was told and was waiting.
 

“I figured you’re not gonna be obeying the traffic laws and told them we’re less than two minutes away…they’ll be ready when we get there,” she told Tristan as he rather unceremoniously deposited me in the backseat with my head on her lap.

“Good. Keep her legs higher than her heart and if you think she’s gonna throw up again, roll her sideways, and if she passes out or stops breathing, you tell me and start CPR, you understand?” He asked as he started the car.
 

And yes, the phrases “stops breathing” and “start CPR” being said in regard to me began to fill me with even more overwhelming terror, but I couldn’t get past how absolutely normal Tristan’s voice sounded.
 

“Yeah, I got it, go,” Jill responded, propping my feet on the door and holding onto me as we took off at what felt to me like mach 9 speed.

Even as Tristan peeled out of the parking lot, he seemed so completely calm. “Okay, Camie, I’m gonna be blowin’ through every stop sign and light and Jillian’s gonna hold onto you so all you have to do is breathe, alright Baby?”

I looked at Jill and nodded a little and tried to allow myself to absorb her calm and steady demeanor, forcing myself to believe her expression and his voice was really how they felt and not some act to keep me from knowing how close to dying I was. Because I’m tellin’ ya, not being able to breathe is truly pee-your-pants-fucking-scary and even if it wasn’t, I’m smart enough to know that without oxygen, you die. Period. And that’s also why I couldn’t for the life of me (no pun intended) get the song “Knocking On Heaven’s Door” out of my head.

“I think she’s scared. She doesn’t know what’s happening and can’t ask,” my sister told Tristan while unflinchingly meeting my eyes and recognizing the undisguised fear she must’ve seen in them.

“Baby, you’re going into anaphylactic shock…it’s a severe allergic reaction to something and it’s making your airways constrict and close, that’s why you’re having a hard time breathing, but we’ll be at the hospital in just a minute and you’re gonna be okay so try to not be scared, just concentrate on breathing,” he told me and I might not have had any doubts that he really was as relaxed as he sounded except that all of a sudden, I felt the car swerve and Jill grabbed onto my waist to keep me from being thrown off the seat onto the floorboards, and then I heard the sound of a couple blaring horns fading into the distance as Tristan made another hard turn that had me rolling the other way towards Jillian.

Now here’s where things got really spotty because when Tristan screeched into the emergency room drop off area, I was pretty disoriented. All I really remember is disembodied arms reaching in to remove me from the black, gas powered horse my knight had ridden with demonic speed to make about seventeen traffic violations in an effort to literally save my life before I was placed on a stretcher and I closed my eyes against the far too bright lights overhead.

*****

I focused on the clock on the wall and was shocked to discover that my near death experience had lasted no more than ten minutes. Seriously. If that clock is right, the bell for sixth period to start probably just rang and hundreds of kids at my school are probably just settling in to be educated further on whatever subject it is they have this hour. My ability to breathe normally again was more of a gradual awareness but no less of a surprise. I also noticed that I was without pants. I think I remember one leg of them being cut open and being given a shot in the thigh, but I’m not one hundred percent on that. Also, I was sporting a couple of new accessories. The one around my face was an oxygen mask, on one of my arms was an IV and on the other was a blood pressure cuff.

Aside from me and a nurse standing next to what I’m guessing was the blood pressure monitor, the room was empty.

“So I guess I’m done dying for today,” I said to her.

She smiled at me as she walked over and picked up my chart to write something on it. “Yes, you’re definitely done dying today. In fact, you’re responding very well to the epinephrine and antihistamines.”

“Is that the right time?” I asked, thinking it had to be a mistake.

“Mm-hm.”

“Wow…um, so now that I’m feeling better, do I get to go home or do I have to go through a whole slew of tests or what?” I know that might sound weird, but incredibly, I really do feel almost normal. A little stressed maybe but that’s it, and I think you could say almost dying is enough to make even the most laid back person a little freaked and wanting to get the hell out of Dodge.

 
“Well, you need to be monitored for a few hours so you can’t go home just yet, but if your initial recovery is any indication, I’d guess you’ll be home around eight tonight,” she answered with another kind smile.
 

A
few
hours? Uh, again I know I’m not a candidate for any kind of math award, but a “few” doesn’t equal seven in my book, you know what I mean?

“Oh my God…did anyone call my mom and dad?” Duh. I’m sitting here all cranky about having to be in the ER all damned day and it’s
just now
occurring to me that my parents might not even know I almost died? Jeez, I’m such a self-absorbed brat…

“Ah, yes. I believe they were both contacted and your father is on his way,” she replied while checking my IV.

“What about my mom?”

“I’m sorry, honey, I wasn’t the one who spoke with either of them.”

Actually, I hope my mom doesn’t come. I love her and I wanna see her and everything, but she’s got that procedure and I’d hate to have her risk getting an infection beforehand just so she can sit and be bored with me.
 

“Do you know where my sister and the guy who drove me here are?”

“Your sister was out in the hall earlier filling us in on your day and medical history, but I didn’t see her out there when I came back in, and I’m sorry, I never saw who drove you, but if you tell me what he looks like and if I see either of them, I’ll let them know you’re asking for them,” the nurse offered nicely and left the room right after I described Tristan for her. Actually, what I said was something like; “He’s big and beautiful…you can’t miss him.”
 

She must have, though, because I saw my dad long before I saw my boyfriend.

22.

Big Emotions & A Heart To Heart With Daddy

“Daddy? Did you see Jillian or Tristan when you got here?” I asked him, wondering why neither of them has even so much as popped a head in to see how I’m doing.
 

Well, I guess Jill had when I was still kind of out of it, but seriously, I’ve been here for almost an hour now and my dad has been in the room with me for about twenty minutes, but I haven’t seen the well-tanned and muscled hide nor a strand of the great hair belonging to my savior and it’s kind of weirding me out. Like was what happened honestly not that big of deal or is he thinking what I was earlier about being stuck in the hospital again, or, does he just not care?

“Mm-hm, I told The Boy to take her home…no sense in havin’ the two of them sittin’ here with nothin’ to do,” my dad answered very reasonably, but try being rational with a traumatized teenage girl and her emotions. Yeah, it doesn’t quite work so when my dad looked up and recognized that my eyes were shining suspiciously bright, he went into comfort mode, which for a dad, he’s really good at. “Sweetie, what is it? You’re not still scared, are you?”

Of course his tender concern for me fueled my tears further so I was all weepy and sniffly when I answered, “No, I’m not scared at all, it’s just that…well, he didn’t once check on me or even say goodbye…”

My dad took my hand in his and I knew with a certainty that a girl can only get from her father that what he was going to say would be from the heart and it would be the truth. “Cameron, I remember like it was yesterday bein’ his age and feelin’ the way I did about your mother and, I’ll be honest with you, honey, it scared the ever lovin’ shit out of me and I did everything I could to stuff those feelings down deep for as long as possible so I wouldn’t get hurt. I’d never experienced a love like that or cared so much for anything or anyone before…it was all so new and I didn’t know what to do with those big emotions.

“Men, you know, honey…well, we just don’t always react the way we probably should because we think we’re supposed to be strong all the time, and if we show too much of what’s goin’ on inside, well, we sometimes take it as a sign of weakness I guess. Now I don’t know if what happened to you this afternoon terrified him as much as it would’ve if it’d been me, because sweetie, even just the thought of what could’ve happened was enough to make your dear old dad here bawl like a little boy all the way from work, but if it did, he might need some time to come to grips with some of those big emotions. And I gotta tell you somethin’ else, honeybunch, I will owe that boy as long as I live and ever after for bein’ there to do what he did and for carin’ about you as much as he does.”

Yeah, the tears are falling pretty steadily now. Isn’t my dad just awesome?

“How can you tell?” I asked through my sniffles, wanting to know how he and Kate and Jeff can know without question that Tristan cares so much for me, and thinking out of all the people I know; maybe my dad is the one who actually knows the most about this stuff and can explain it to me in a way so that I can know it too.
 

“I know because he looks at you the same way I’ve been lookin’ at your mother since the day I first laid eyes on her, and if his feelings for you are even a portion of how I felt about her…well, I can safely say that boy would walk through fire for you, so you better believe him not sayin’ goodbye to you today wasn’t because he doesn’t care about you, sweetie…I’d bet my bottom dollar it was because he does.”
 

And that was all it took for me to finally know in my head and heart that Tristan loves me.

“Thank you, Daddy…and I’m sorry I made you cry.”

“Oh sweetie, don’t be. It comes with the job just like protecting you and keepin’ you safe does, but I tell you what…I’m sure glad it was him doin’ the job today and not me,” my dad said with a small chuckle.

“What do you mean?” My dad and I are quite a lot alike and we usually get each other, but I don’t really understand why he would rather have Tristan be the lifesaving one instead of him. You’d think a father would always want to be the one who his daughters would turn to or count on for everything, you know?

“Well for one thing, I wouldn’t have been able to make the snap decisions he did under the circumstances, and his quick thinking and immediate action probably made all the difference. Most people, myself included, would’ve ran around like a chicken with their head cut off and then called an ambulance and honestly, honey, there wasn’t that much time. He got you here faster than an ambulance would’ve gotten to you at school and gettin’ you help when he did kept you from goin’ into full-blown shock. And another thing, I’m not as young as I used to be and bein’ present for that little episode of yours would’ve taken years off me… The Boy can stand to have you puttin’ some gray hairs on that mop of his. I gotta tell ya, sweetie, for your first boyfriend, you sure picked a good one.”

I laughed a little about that. “You know, Daddy, really, he picked me.”

“Well, that just proves what good taste he has, now doesn’t it?” My dad said and chuckled with me.

I was still giggling a little about being the cause of Tristan’s gray hair but then I started thinking about what my dad had said after that…my
first
boyfriend.

“Daddy, do you think maybe Tristan and I will be like you and Mom?” I’m really hoping the romantic in my dad gives me an emphatic yes because I’ve been thinking to myself that Derek wouldn’t look too ridiculous in a sombrero at my wedding, and I’ve also been wondering if Brandon’s band can play mariachi music as well as rock.

This time my dad took a moment to think about his answer and it didn’t seem like he was agitated really by my question or like he didn’t want to answer it but, there
was
something…
 

“Cameron, if you asked if I thought it was
possible
, I’d have to say yes because I’ve obviously lived it. But you know, most people don’t find the one they’re gonna spend their lives lovin’ until they’re
much
older than the two of you if ever. So realistically, I have my doubts. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t enjoy this time in your life with someone you have some of those big emotions for…but I also don’t wanna see you pin all your hopes and dreams on a boy who might grow out of you, and the reverse is possible too…you could outgrow him just as easily.

“Your mom and I, his parents too, we were lucky enough to find each other early on and from what I can tell, so have Kate and Jeff, but we’re all in the minority, honey. You still have a lot of life to live and learn what it is that you want out of it and so does The Boy. You may discover that all you want is each other and you may find you don’t, but that’s not for me to know or decide for either of you.

“I’ll tell you this though, whoever you do end up with will have to be one seriously devoted individual, someone who’ll bend over backwards to put you first. And that doesn’t necessarily mean givin’ you everything you
want
, but it does mean givin’ you everything you
need
even if it might not be what he wants or needs. And I’m not sayin’ there won’t be give and take, but that someone will have to be willin’ to passionately dedicate himself to you in full and not look back because, sweetie, knowin’ you as I do and speakin’ as your father, that’s what it’s gonna take to make it work with you in the long run. It’s just who you are and how you’ve always been from the time you were born. Now your sister on the other hand…God help the boy who falls for her.”