The Other Fish in the Sea (8 page)

See, here’s how the whole trial without jury played out… We were all enjoying the random riffs Brandon and my uncles were coming up with
,
but the four pious teens had totally been giving Brandon the stank-eye all evening, they just weren’t actually saying anything…
yet
. I’m sure he noticed
,
too, but he didn’t seem to care one way or another. However, about thirty minutes into the jam session, Brandon began to blend in the beginning of Ozzy Ozbourne’s “Mama I’m Comin’ Home.” It’s a fairly slow and melodic song that’s great for an acoustic session like this
,
and my uncles picked it up pretty quickly and without issue or complaint. What started the kids talking though, was when Tristan gave his approval by saying, “Ozzy…nice,” thereby informing the “Righteous Four” they were listening to a song by a guy who supposedly bit the head off a live bat in concert, which, of course, makes him a devil worshiper. And even if that doesn’t on its own, well,
everyone
just
knows
Ozzy is Satan’s minstrel. And obviously, since it was Brandon who started it and looking the way he does, he must be in league with the big bad dude
,
too. Ugh. I mean really, of all the narrow-minded opinions...

They didn’t come right out and state those prejudicial opinions to the group at large
,
though. They just started whispering to each other and without really meaning to, they whispered loud enough for those around them to overhear. And because this is what inevitably happens when you talk about people behind their back in a large group like this, what they were saying made its way down the line to get over to where Brandon was sitting with Derek, MaryAnn, and Melissa. I swear it was like the freaking game, Telephone, except not much of the condemnation being passed along was lost in translation. And I’m not going to get into specifics about what exactly they were saying, but suffice it to say they weren’t surprised that Brandon would play “this” kind of music and he was clearly going to hell. And yeah, I kept thinking that whoever invited these people to our Thanksgiving desert trip and thought they’d fit in with all of us should be flogged for their idiocy and prohibited from extending any future invitations without having their choices vetted first. And not just for our sakes but for the visitors’ comfort as well, you know? I mean I can’t imagine these kids or their parents feel very comfortable camping out with a bunch of drinking, swearing, non-church going heathens who make up a portion of my family and a good majority of all the other people who party in the desert.

Anyway, I was watching when word got around to Brandon. He was playing and singing a little and then he casually leaned over to hear what Derek wanted to whisper to him. And I gotta give him credit here; all he did was lift an eyebrow. I mean that’s it—I don’t even know if it was in surprise, anger, irritation or what
,
but if it were me, I’m sure I would’ve at least grunted in my defense, you know? But Brandon didn’t utter a single disagreeable sound and just kept on playing. Melissa on the other hand looked pretty aggrieved on his behalf and kept glaring at the four kids
,
and I thought for a second she might even say something, but when Brandon ever so smoothly transitioned into an actual Christian song called “How Great is Our God” by a contemporary Christian artist by the name of Chris Tomlin, Melissa’s expression turned smug and the four teens’ turned to varying shades of shame. Honestly, it was beautiful.

No, I mean it…it was absolutely beautiful. Brandon sang most of it by himself
,
but towards the end, Melissa came in and harmonizing with him, she slowly replaced the lyrics that went with the original song to some from the hymn “How Great Thou Art.” Listening to the two of them sing that song, it was like they’d transformed our campfire into a circle of worship under the star-filled night sky and I swear you could feel God’s loving presence. And I have no problem whatsoever admitting that I was moved to the point of tears.

“Goodness
,
you two…that was simply touching,” my mom told Brandon and Melissa when they finished, obviously agreeing with my sentiments as I saw her wipe a stray tear from her cheek. “It’s really a shame that not everyone appreciates a talent such as yours though
,
Brandon, regardless of whether the form that talent takes is to a person’s individual taste. After all, many from my grandparents’ generation were offended by Elvis and the rock and roll he played, thinking it was a gateway to hell. However, few people realize that Elvis was lauded far more for the gospel music he did than he was for rock and he was posthumously inducted into the Gospel Music Hall of Fame in 2002, I think. In fact as far as I know, he’s the only person to have ever been inducted into all three Musical Halls of Fame of country, rock and roll, and gospel,” she said, having directed an admonishing look at the kids whose narrow-minded censure had instigated a mini biographical history lesson on the King of Rock ‘N Roll.

And that just goes to show, once a homeschool mom
,
always a homeschool mom. Then looking back to Brandon my mom added, “That being said, I have to say I’m very impressed with your wide range in musical genres. And although I will admit I personally prefer listening to the kind of music you were playing for us before, I do realize that’s not always to everyone’s liking and a truly good musician knows how to play to his audience, which I believe you’ve just proven yourself to be.”

I have to say I was pretty damned proud to be her daughter at that point. I was even sorely tempted to openly applaud the end result. You see, having been effectively put in their place by my mom, the “Righteous Four” abandon the fire and our company without a word. Also, we would come to find out that two of them faked the flu so their parents took them all home the next morning.

Anyhow, Brandon followed their departure with his eyes and then with a nonchalant shrug he said, “Well, I’m in a rock band and we play mostly parties, weddings, and small clubs right now
,
but since we wanna play music professionally any way we can, I figure it’s a good idea to just know how to play it all, but whatever…those guys can blow me…the only reason I did that was ‘cause I’m just too fuckin’ chilled right now to enjoy physically beating the stupid out of ‘em. Thanks for the compliment anyway
,
though. Oh and just so you know, Elvis was inducted in 2001 not 2002
and
he won two fuckin’ Grammys for his performance of that hymn ‘How Great Thou Art’ that sexy here piped up with.”

Yeah, I know. First I looked at my mom and dad for signs of being offended by Brandon’s offhanded correction and crass acceptance of my mom’s worded support
,
but I wasn’t too surprised to find only amusement. My dad covered his in a cough and by keeping his eyes on the heavens
,
but I had to look closer to see my mom’s. She was keeping a straight face by doing some understanding nodding and pressing her lips together to keep from cracking a smile. I told you, like Elvis, my parents freaking rock. Then, even though it totally wasn’t meant to be a come-on or anything, I looked at Melissa to see how she’d handled being called sexy in front of basically everyone by a guy who
so
isn’t Keith. She wasn’t handling it at all
,
though
,
because it looked like she hadn’t even heard him. Or if she did, she wasn’t really paying enough attention to realize Brandon was talking about her; she was busy looking at something MaryAnn was showing her on her cell phone.

“You’re ah…welcome…and that’s very wise of you and just shows how dedicated you are
,
which I find admirable, as I’m sure the rest of your audience tonight would agree with. And Melissa, you have a beautiful voice…have you had lessons?” My mom asked, graciously moving past Brandon’s less than eloquent acceptance speech and regaining Melissa’s attention.

“Oh um, no, not really. My Grandma could sing though...she was always singing hymns and old country stuff
,
and she liked to have me sing with her,” Melissa answered with a shrug.

“I can certainly understand why she did,” my mom replied and then yawned. “Well, I hate to say it
,
folks
,
but I think I’d better head off to bed.”

Brandon began plucking at the strings of his guitar again and then with my parents the first to go, the rest of the adults and younger kids said their goodnights. Those teens who were remaining were just sort of chit-chatting back and forth
,
and I was giggling about how Julia was trying to dredge up how snotty those other teens were in a sort of flirty effort to get Brandon’s attention, which he was simply
not
gonna give her tonight.

In fact, at one point he sighed in irritation, looked at my cousin and then said, “Look, it might work on other guys but I’m not into chicks who try to make themselves look better by talkin’ shit about other people
,
and unless your intent is to give me a goddamned headache, you’re wasting your fuckin’ breath harpin’ about those fuckwits so would ya just shut your yap and lemme enjoy the mellow I got goin’ on? Fuck…”

Kate picked up on the increasingly aggravated vibes coming from their direction right away and trying to block them out like the rest of us, she turned to Melissa and asked, “That grandma wasn’t your mom’s mom, was it?”
 

“You mean the really cool woman who my mom won’t acknowledge was the one who gave birth to her? Yeah, that would be that grandma,” Melissa answered with an eye-roll.

“Your mom won’t even acknowledge her own mother?” I asked, being taken aback. I mean I’ve never gotten the warmest of feelings from Melissa’s parents to begin with
,
but a child who doesn’t even claim her own mother? Seriously, how cold is that?!

“Nope, not since my grandma died and my mom found out she’d been cut out of the will and that my grandma left everything to me and my brother just to spite my mom.”

“Oh my God…I didn’t know about that!” Kate responded with what I felt was justifiable surprise and intrigue.

“I never told you about that whole thing?” Melissa asked, like she could’ve sworn she had at some point in the past.

“Nu-uh…I only knew that your mom got rid of all her mom’s pictures and stuff…remember when I saw that one of her you keep hidden in a book and I totally thought it was you at first? Seriously, you guys, if it wasn’t for the outdated and fading paper the picture was printed on, you would
never
know it isn’t Melissa.”

“That’s what you said before but I still totally don’t see it. I mean my grandma was like pin-up girl gorgeous…she was even a real freaking Playboy Bunny. In fact that picture was taken during a Bunny photo shoot… But Kate
,
I could’ve
sworn
I told you the story that night.”

“No, I swear you didn’t…remember we were rushing to get downstairs for dinner so you warned me that your mom banned all the pictures of your grandma and any mention of her because they’d had a falling out.”

“Oh yeah…I guess
that’s
why I thought I’d told you…huh. It’s really kind of sad though, are you sure you wanna hear it?”

“Well, yeah…but not if you don’t wanna tell us,” Kate answered.

“No, I don’t care…I mean I already thought I did,” Melissa replied with a laugh. “Okay well, my mom started the whole family feud thing when I was really little and we still lived in Boston—”

“Hey wait, I didn’t know you were from Boston…” Tristan interjected.

“Seriously? How could you not know that? I mean it seemed like it took me forever to lose the accent…” Melissa said and laughed at herself again.

“I don’t think I ever heard it,” he told her.

“I didn’t either…but I totally wanna see that picture,” Jeff put in and then received a backhanded smack on the arm from Kate who was rolling her eyes.

Brandon and Derek were chuckling and nodding in enthusiastic agreement, but when I looked at Tristan in amused question, he raised his brows at me and with a resigned eye-roll at having been caught
,
he chuckled and said, “Yeah, sorry, Baby, me too.”

Melissa giggled at them and rolled her eyes as well and then said, “You guys are all pigs, but getting back to what I was saying, yes, I was born in Boston…we only moved out here what, five or six years ago? Something like that…anyway, you guys all know how my parents are and everything, right?” The seven of us who know her all nodded that yes, we are aware of how Melissa’s parents fall squarely on the hoity-toity side of the fence so she continued. “Okay well, my grandma was nothing like my mom. She totally knew how to have fun and as we’ve already established, she was gorgeous and did some
tasteful
nude modeling
,
but she was also completely lucky in love.

“However, her husbands had this unfortunate habit of dying on her so after the third one bit the dust, she just gave up the whole husband thing…anyway, even though she didn’t marry any of them for their money, they all had plenty of it so with all the life insurance she inherited and the money she made modeling, my grandma ended up with a freaking fortune. Her first husband was one of her photographers and he ended up dying barely a month after they were married in a boating accident when he was doing a photo shoot for some other magazine. Her second husband was my mom’s dad but he died from a congenital heart condition when my mom was like seven or something
,
and then my grandma married a man she said made her laugh
,
but he came from one of those old
,
Blue Blood type families and moved her back East to be close to his parents. I think that’s where my mom picked up her opinion that money and status are what matters in life and chose to marry my dad because of his family’s wealth, not because she loved him…not that any of that really matters though I guess. So um…where was I…?” Melissa asked herself, having totally talked herself off track.

“No fuckin’ clue…I’m still hung up on wantin’ to see that picture,” Brandon said with a chuckle.