The Other Fish in the Sea (11 page)

“When she found out, she decided to buy the house and used Katy’s mom as her realtor. My dad stepped up by moving in with her and agreeing to raise a baby with her, but he didn’t love her and wouldn’t marry her, so she had Katy’s dad re-write her living trust naming her unborn child as her sole heir. My mom didn’t have any family she was close to and since Tristan’s mom was pregnant with him, the two pregos started hanging out a lot which worked out well because my dad and Tristan’s dad were becoming best friends again. That’s why my mom named Tristan’s parents the trustees and shit. From what they say, my mom was never really mad at my dad about not marrying her but, even though he didn’t need the money, I think leaving my dad outta the will was kinda like a screw you thing similar to what Melissa’s Playboy Bunny grandma did…I still wanna see that picture by the way.”

Kate and Melissa both rolled their eyes and Melissa asked, “You’re just never gonna drop it, are you?”

 
Jeff grinned at her. “Nope. Anyway, there was all this chaos when my mom went into labor and had major complications trying to have me, so they had to put her under to do an emergency c-section. They got me out all safe and sound and just as perfect as I am today, but my mom never regained consciousness so she couldn’t fill out my birth certificate and name my dad as my father… It’s a damned good thing Katy’s dad was there and saw the whole thing comin’. He immediately had my dad take a paternity test proving he’s my biological father and he drew up more papers to make sure my dad wouldn’t get hassled about sole custody. Then my mom had a stroke a few days later and died. And that’s pretty much it.” He finished his tale by taking a bite of cheesecake and chasing it with Pirate Punch.

The guys brought all the fixings for that and we’re drinking it out of Gatorade bottles—no one would ever know unless they actually drank it or got close enough to smell it. So, camouflaged alcohol:
✓

Even putting aside that whole scene with Pete, not to mention the tidbit Brandon shared and the whole thing with Melissa last night, I honestly don’t know what to say. I’d no idea there was so much to Jeff and his origins. It’s weird, you know? I mean, I come from two parents who love each other, got married and planned having me and my sister, and I guess I never took into consideration that that’s not how it always happens for everyone else. I suppose you could say that’s a naïve perspective, but I honestly just never thought about it. And now that I am, I remember my parents talking once about a girl who was a few years ahead of them in school and she was like seven months pregnant or something when she graduated. It really makes me wonder what the rest of my friends’ birth stories are. I’m not going to ask
,
though. I mean come on, that would be the epitome of tacky
,
don’t you think? Not to mention the tension in the air at the moment.

“You know, all that got me thinking…do you think whoever your dad was talking to that night on the phone might be someone he met and fell in love with while he was playing baseball?” Oh! I forgot about that whole phone/lips of an angel thing! Good question, Kate!

“Yeah, maybe. It could explain why he never said anything about her… He really doesn’t like to talk about those days.”

Melissa, thankfully, then changed the subject when Pete let out a semi-disgruntled
“Humph”
and finally began turning the pages of the catalog while she and Jillian scanned them as he did so.

“Do you actually buy this stuff?”

Jillian considered Melissa for a thoughtful moment before responding. I’m guessing she’s trying to decide if Melissa is worthy. “I have a little bit.”

“It’s kind of expensive…” Pete opined.

“That’s why I only have a little bit, but that’s okay...the wannabe Betty Crocker over there is helping me save up for these,” she said, tapping a couple of items in the catalog while shooting Tristan a wholly smug look that I took to say, “Your piggy-bank’s mine.”

He was on his feet in a flash and snatched the catalog out from under Pete’s hand.

“Lemme see this…
Shit…
I knew it. That video will only get you the GPS tracker
,
and
only
if I get all the copies and watch you with my own eyes delete the one I know you’ve got hidden on your hard drive. You’re truly fuckin’ crazy if you think I’m buying you the audio surveillance setup.”

“True, but Little Sister is patient and she’s
always
watching.”

With her response, the tension in the tent evaporated and everyone started snickering
,
and in Jeff’s case, flat out laughing at Tristan.

Tristan tossed the magazine down in front of Jillian and upon hauling me to my feet; he gave me a resigned look and said, “She’s evil incarnate you know.” Then he dragged me off to the bus for an inning or four of America’s Teenagers’ Favorite Pastime with more patience than I was honestly expecting.

5.

Enigmas, Omnipotence, And, The Reaper

Seven a.m. on day two and now he’s more annoying—if that’s even possible. Dang…it sure is, because now he’s a gall-darned enigma.

I
hate
enigmas.
 

 
My ears are hearing Kid Rock chant “Bawitdaba,” but my brain is listening to Johnny Rzeznik singing about being a question to the world. Sorry. It’s how the song “I’m Still Here” starts. I’ve been hearing it almost daily since I met him.

Okay
,
Jillian, get it together. I know you really want to know what that whole thing last night was about
,
but if you just put it out of your mind, the information will come to you just like it always does.

A distraction…that’s what I need.

Perfect, here comes one right now. He’s not my first choice, but I’ll take a distraction in the form of my cousin Dylan—Derek’s freshman little brother—over the idiots Julia and Company any day. The two of them get on my nerves. I still can’t believe the stuff they’re saying about Tristan behind Camie’s back. I’m honestly considering letting Camie hear some of what I recorded the other night. Shoot. If I do that then there’ll probably be blood shed within the family. If not that, then there will at least be distrust and dissent and well…that would be uncomfortable on Christmas Eve. Whatever…I’ll think of something
,
I’m sure.

“Hey Jill, I know something you don’t know.”

See? Dylan’s already piqued my interest and I’m on my way to being thoroughly distracted.

“No, you don’t.” I’m sure he knows many things I don’t
,
but the trick is to appear omnipotent.

“Damn it! We thought we made sure no one heard us.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. You know how little ears hear everything you don’t want them to hear and nothing you do.” I love the little kids…they’re my minions.

“So would you go out with him if he asked?”

I followed his eyes without moving my head. So that’s it. His friend
,
Jeremy
,
likes me. I told you...omnipotence works every time.

“Probably not.”

“Why not? He’s a really nice guy and he thinks you’re pretty.”

“I am pretty, but, I’m also twelve.” Call me conceited if you want
,
but I don’t think it’s a crime to acknowledge one’s own strengths. Also, I’m stalling for a minute while I consider whether I would actually go out with him.
 

“So? He knows you’re a couple years younger than him and he still thinks you’re pretty.”

Follow my thought process here and I’ll show you how I come to a decision: Jeremy’s kind of cute in an awkward
,
pubescent sort of way and I will admit after having found boys to be stupid and a waste of time for the last twelve-ish years, that lately I’m discovering I find some boys attractive and interesting.
However
, any boy, regardless of his age, who thinks a good way to get my attention is by having my cousin tell me he thinks I’m pretty, is one French fry short of a Happy Meal.

Nope, not interested. Simple as that.

“I’m flattered (Lie.), but no. I don’t wanna add to my dad’s boy-stress level (Lie.), he’s already got enough on his plate with Camie’s personal jungle gym (Lie.).” I pointed over to where Camie is currently trying to climb up Tristan’s body like he’s a tree to get a hold of something that looks like his phone, which he’s holding out of her reach above her head.

And so I lied about being flattered and not wanting to add to my dad’s non-existent boy-stress level. So what? At least I was polite. I could’ve easily crushed poor fry-less Jeremy’s feelings and self-esteem, but I didn’t. I took the high road, the road less traveled… Dang, I’m pretty
and
I’m a saint!

“Oh, yeah. I guess that would be sorta like puttin’ him through the wringer. Jeremy’s gonna be bummed
,
though. Can I at least give him your cell number and give you his?”

What do I look like? A blonde rolodex for boys who’ve lost an archery match with cupid? First Tristan and now Jeremy… I’m already regretting not chewing up the Fry-Guy and spitting him out in the dirt.

“Whatever, but remember I don’t text so if I get one from him
,
I’m blocking his number.” I won’t answer even if he does call—which he won’t. But if he does happen to surprise me—which he won’t—I’ll at least view him with a teensy bit of respect. I still won’t answer
,
though. And I most certainly won’t be calling him.

“Oh. Um, okay…I’ll let him know.”

That’s what I thought… Texts are impersonal. Texts are
safe
. They’re also how people my age communicate when they don’t have anything of importance to say. Jeremy has nothing to say in addition to being afraid of me.

“What about Facebook?”

I definitely should’ve spit him out.

“I’m not on Facebook.” Let’s
all
sing, shall we? Lies lies lies yeah! I like The Thompson Twins; they had neat-o hair. I’m totally on Facebook, my alias is Invisible Nightmare.

“Oh, okay…well I’ll tell him about the texting thing.”

Yeah, you do that.
 

Okay, now for a bite to eat… I’m kind of in the mood for Mc Donald’s now
,
but a Suzie Q from my secret stash in the “smallest outside compartment of the RV that no one ever uses for anything” will suffice. And yes, that’s the actual name of the cubbyhole.

Oh and lookee here! Here’s distraction number two! And to think, I wasn’t even looking for another one…

And since my mom and my Aunt Karen aren’t really
trying
to talk without being overheard in the RV while playing Gin Rummy by themselves, I’m not going to consider this as eavesdropping. We can think of it as being in the right place at the right time. I’m sure they won’t mind. I mean come on now; can I help it if I don’t make sound when I walk? No, I can’t. It’s not like I’m going to shuffle my feet or hang a quadraphonic Blaupunkt around my neck so I announce my presence with authority. Watch
Bull Durham
, that’s all I’m saying.

“—her, but Brett and I both think she’s a nice girl.” Dang…caught her in the middle of a sentence. If that isn’t just irritating. I think my aunt is talking about MaryAnn, though.

“Gin!” Way to go, Mom.

“I don’t know why I ever play cards with you, Mandy, you beat me every time… So, tell me more about this boyfriend of Camie’s. He’s sure a good lookin’ kid and it looks as if she thinks the sun rises and sets on him.” Like that’s news.

“You’re sure right about that. It doesn’t hurt that he dotes on her the way he does either.” The big sap. Pun intended.

“What does my brother think about that?”

“He approves. The two of them have really made a connection (That’s putting it mildly. My dad and The Tree have a total bro-mance going on.)
,
and Jillian is quite fond of him too.” Yeah, yeah. He’s not bad. I’d like him better if he’d buy me that surveillance gear
,
though. I’ll have to work on that.

“Are you concerned they might be moving a little fast? She is only fifteen.”

“Well, Kevin and I have talked about that, but they’re not moving any faster than he and I did
,
and Camie’s a smart girl.”

“Even smart girls make mistakes.”

“Yes, they most definitely do, but, they’re teenagers, they’re in love (My mom’s so perceptive.), and we’re going to let her have this. (And cool.) Kevin and I both feel with circumstances being what they are, that things are going to be hard enough in the future for everyone… I think they’re going to need him.” Who’s “they” Kemosabe?

“That’s a mighty tall order…do you really think he’s got what it’s going to take?”

“I pray every night that he does. (Wait a minute, this isn’t good.) And you know, there’s something about him that I can’t quite put my finger on that makes me believe God has put him in our lives for a reason.”

“I can believe that…God whispers to us all the time yet we rarely listen. (I’m always listening.) I admire your faith.”

“He’s good for our family
,
Karen. He brings laughter and life to our house.”

“Mandy, do the girls know?” NO.

“No. They’ve already been through so much this year…we just desperately want them to have a chance at living normal lives for as long as possible (Fat chance of that happening now, isn’t it?), so we’re not telling them until we’re out of options.”

“When will that be?” Yeah, Mom, when will that be?

“We don’t know for sure. There’re still some tests to take and I might be eligible for a surgery that could just take care of everything.” God, I know you can hear me…please take care of everything.

“But you’re not holding your breath.”

“No. I’m not holding my breath. I’m…”

Stick a fork in me, I’m done.

I refuse to sit here and listen to my mother talk about dying like she’s doing a verbal rendition of Elton John’s lame-o
Lion King
ballad for my aunt. Oh marvelous. Now I’ve got him singing the deep and soulful “Circle of Life” in my head!

It’s definitely time to go for a ride—alone.