The Other Side Of the Game (11 page)

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Authors: Anita Doreen Diggs

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“I don't know how to tell you this but I . . . I can't be with you anymore.” When I said it, his glass hit the floor sending its remains flying everywhere.
“Asha, please don't do this to me. I love you. I can't believe you would feel as though I'm trying to make you someone else. Velma had no right telling you my business,” he said, grabbing for my hand. I jerked away and got up to get the broom.
“I loved Tracy with all my heart and I'm not going to lie to you about that, but I found you and you haven't
replaced
Tracy. You gave me another chance to love,” he said, his voice trembling.
I felt that my lie was failing and that a bit of the truth needed to be added in. God, I'm glad I didn't have too much to drink because I probably would've taken it all back.
“Randy, that's not my only problem. You're getting way too serious. I never indicated at any time that I even
wanted
to be loved. All I wanted was to have a good time and have some company. Please understand that I'm not ready for all this.”
“Asha, I'm sorry for any stress I've put you through but when I fell for you, I fell so hard. We can take it slow from now on but I'm begging you not to just write me off,” he said with tears streaming down his face.
“I can't, Randy. I think it's best if we move on,” I said, sweeping up the glass.
“I can't believe you're doing this to us. I thought . . . I mean, I tried to do everything in my power to make you happy,” he said, holding his head in his hands.
“Please, Randy, I don't want you to beat yourself up over this. You're a wonderful man and I'm sure there's someone out there who's ready for a commitment.”
“Is there someone else?” he asked with his eyes squinted in pain.
“No, I just made a decision,” I said, looking him in the eyes.
He put his head down for a brief second and then looked back up at me. “So there's absolutely nothing I can . . .”
“No, Randy, please. I think you should go,” I said sternly, cutting him off.
As he got up and walked towards the coatrack his head was hung low in sadness; and what usually was his outstanding posture bore a striking resemblance to the shape of a hunchback. I walked ahead of him and began unlocking the door.
“Take care,” I said.
He went out the door and stood there. Why this man was a glutton for punishment, I did not know. Slowly I began to close the door, looking at him in utter confusion.
“I love you,” he mouthed silently, with the tears continuing to come down.
I shut the door and went back to Miles and the rest of my gin.
 
The next two weeks were absolute hell. Randy kept calling, leaving whining messages on my answering machine and filling up my voice mail at work every day. He sent flowers, candy, and gifts, begging me to come back to him, and it drove me up the wall. To make matters worse, he looked up Phil's number and called Saundra, sobbing and pleading for her to talk to me. That was a big mistake, I
was
starting to feel sorry for the guy but calling my sister to complain when we weren't even a committed couple just did not make sense and it made me furious. I had to deal with Saundra's reprimands for days.
Chapter 23
SAUNDRA
W
hat goes around comes around, and one of these days Asha will get her comeuppance. I just hope that her face doesn't need radical reconstructive surgery after it happens.
I told Daddy about Asha's latest adventure over breakfast one morning.
“I'm so afraid that one of these men is going to hurt her.”
Daddy took a bite of his buttered toast and chewed it thoughtfully before answering. “Don't worry, sweetheart. Someday she'll meet the right guy and change so fast it'll take your breath away.”
Since I'd totally given up on the engagement party idea, the tension had been erased between me and Daddy.
“But in the meantime . . .” I persisted.
He shrugged. “Just keep praying for her.”
I nodded and scooped up a melon ball.
Daddy grinned mischievously. “Hugo and I bought you a wedding present.”
“So soon? What is it?”
“Remember that reception hall you crossed off your list because it was too expensive?”
Yero and I had checked it out a week ago. It cost $250 per person.
“The Crystal Palace?” I whispered.
“Yup!”
“Oh, Daddy, you shouldn't have. That's way too much money.”
“Hugo and I are going to split it. So it's all yours, sweetheart. We paid for one hundred people and an open bar. What do you think of that?” He grinned broadly, looking very pleased with himself.
I rushed around the table, grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him squarely on the forehead. “I think you're the most wonderful father in the world.”
Daddy coughed to hide his emotion. “Go on now! Call Hugo and thank him, too!”
Chapter 24
PHIL
T
he last thing I needed was a fight with Hugo, but he had been sulking around all week and by Saturday afternoon, it was clear to me that he needed to have his say. Hugo was cleaning his already spotless studio apartment while I sat on his turquoise sofa and played a game of solitaire on the heart-shaped glass coffee table.
“When Saundra called to thank me for chipping in on that reception hall, I almost told her the truth myself,” Hugo ranted. “This situation has been way out of hand for years but now you're headed for disaster.”
I flipped over a card. It was the queen of spades. I had been hoping for a king of diamonds. “Damn!”
Hugo sprayed glass cleaner all over one of his mirrored walls and started rubbing it vigorously with a balled up piece of newspaper. “The Crystal Palace. Saundra's boutique. Evelyn's retreat. Where is all this money supposed to come from?”
“I haven't said anything to Evelyn yet.”
“But we both know that you're going to spring that wonderful surprise on her any day now. You are going to tell her that you'll pay for half of what she needs to open that retreat, won't you Phil?”
“Don't worry about it. That won't come out of your pocket.”
“You goddamn right, it won't. We've been friends a long time, Phil, but your plan is stupid and it won't work. So, I'm pulling out of it. The Crystal Palace is the last straw. It's where I draw the line.”
I was beginning to get heated. “Cut it, Hugo.”
“You can go into debt all you want and spread around all the money you want and in the end, the shit is still going to hit the fan. Why can't you see that?”
I responded to that by sweeping up the cards, shuffling them hard and starting a new game.
Hugo continued his tirade as I tuned him out and dealt myself seven cards. By the time I flipped over three kings, he had pulled out the vacuum cleaner and turned it on. The noise really fucked with my concentration. He pushed the machine back and forth across the squeaky clean carpet. He was waiting for me to blow up and start yelling. It was this type of shit that caused a good percentage of the domestic violence cases and dead bodies that I had come across in my career.
In fact, it was probably some silly incident like this that caused old man Willis to hit his wife in the face with a heavy ashtray back when I was a kid growing up in Dayton, Ohio. She came screaming over to our house with blood streaming from her nose. Mom couldn't believe that the mild mannered janitor who worked side by side with Dad at our elementary school could suddenly explode in violence. While Mom put ice on Mrs. Willis's nose, she issued a command to Dad, who was standing there, his mouth open in shock.
“Maxwell, go across the street and see if old man Willis done lost his mind.”
Dad's jaw finally started working. “Clara, I ain't going nowhere up in nobody else's business. If you want me to call the cops, fine. They get paid to go ask him questions. I don't.”
All the commotion had awakened my three little brothers—Elwood, David, and Buster. Our little family stood on the porch and watched as old man Willis went off to jail and his wife was taken to the hospital.
I hadn't seen my family in a long, long time. The thought made a lump rise up in my throat and I needed Hugo to stop vacuuming and take my mind off them.
“You working tonight?” I yelled above the racket.
He switched off the vacuum cleaner. “Yes.”
“Today is Evelyn's birthday. Her mama is doing a little party thing for her tonight. I'm taking Saundra with me.”
Hugo could read the change in my demeanor. “What's wrong?”
“Aw . . . nothing . . . just thinking about Dayton.”
“That's been happening a lot lately.”
“Yeah. I just keep thinking that Saundra is getting married and they should be at the wedding.”
Hugo sat down beside me. “Send them an invitation.”
“Yeah. Right.”
We both knew that was a terrible idea.
“I'm serious, Phil.”
“And how am I supposed to explain them to Saundra?”
I had told Saundra's mother that I was an orphan and never bothered to correct the lie with my daughter.
“You're caught in a web of lies, Phil,” Hugo said gently. “I'm really sorry for you, my friend.”
“Maybe telling Saundra about my family is the way to start when I finally tell her the secret.”
Hugo's dark eyes filled with sadness. “You wonder if she'll feel sorry enough for you about the family thing that she will forgive the rest. Guess what, old buddy? She won't.”
I swept the cards off the table and sank back against the pillows.
Chapter 25
EVELYN
S
aundra and I have a great relationship. Hugo says that I've modeled her in my own image but, if that is true, I didn't do it deliberately. She was searching for a mother figure when we met. All I did was just be myself. Share my views with her. I'm genuinely flattered that she liked me enough to embrace a holistic lifestyle for herself. I guess Saundra has become the daughter that I will never have. Somewhere after the misery of my own first pregnancy, I decided that I would never try again. Not because I don't like small children. It's probably because I joined the police force. Even though female officers rarely get killed in the line of duty, why take the chance on leaving an orphan behind for my mother to care for?
It's interesting that Phil hasn't changed one bit since the day we met. He never stopped eating meat. Never stopped drinking. Never got into yoga. Never started meditating, and has absolutely no patience with what he calls “new age nonsense.” But what would have been the point of leaving him? It's not like there is a surplus of African-American men who don't mind being in a relationship with a woman who carries a pistol and studies Eastern philosophy.
I've often wondered why he has stayed with me for so long but that is not a smart question to ask a mate. I just chalk it all up to “opposites attract” and enjoy the time we spend together.
Sex is the only area of our relationship where Phil was totally open to my viewpoint. Sex and money cause most of the world's problems and I had to be totally honest about how firmly I believe this. When we first met, I told him that sex should not be the glue that holds a relationship together. He agreed with me that we should abstain from intercourse with each other for months at a time to make sure that we genuinely loved, respected, and cherished each other as human beings.
Sometimes, he takes the abstaining from sex thing too far. Tonight is an example. There are certain days of the year that no woman should have to ask for what she needs. It is my birthday but he is bringing Saundra with him to the celebration. What he should do is leave her back at the house with Yero, then spend time with my family and friends and whisk me out of here to a nice hotel right after I blow out the candles on my birthday cake. I mean, come on!
When Phil and Saundra pulled up in the driveway, my little party was in full swing. Mama had decorated our little home in purple. Purple crepe paper streamers. Purple balloons. A purple piñata. Purple party hats. Purple plates and cups. Even purple noisemakers. Josephine, her husband Charles and their two boys had joined us along with Mama's “friend” Tim from the butcher shop. We were eating pasta, sipping apple juice and moving our bodies to the music from a jazz CD.
Mama opened the front door and Phil lifted her right off the floor and swung her around. She playfully swatted him on his big bear chest and demanded to be put down. He and Saundra were bearing gifts. Boxes decorated in purple paper.
Phil looked a little sad and I made a mental note to question him about it some other time. He definitely worked too hard and I'd be happy when Saundra's wedding was over so he wouldn't have to pull so many double shifts. Saundra, as always, was sweet and cheerful.
Phil sat down beside me and whispered, “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” into my ear as the others laughed and joked with each other.
I squeezed his hand. “Thanks. Are you hungry?”
“Starved.”
In the kitchen, I was fixing him a plate of food when I heard Phil mention the retreat.
Charles voice was loud and firm. “These women of ours just can't be satisfied with what they have.”
Phil started laughing. “Oh, don't sweat it, man. They're going to do a great job. In fact, we men should be grateful. Women go up to their place, chill out and come home happy. No attitudes. No slammed doors. I tell you, it's a blessing.”
“Come on, brother! How long do you think this thing will last?”
I made a plate for Saundra, too.
“It'll be a huge success!”
Charles sounded annoyed. “Well, maybe Evelyn has money to burn but I certainly don't. I told Josephine last night that she's going to have to put this dream on the back burner for a while.”
He what? And when was Josephine planning to tell me?
I put a smile on my face and swept back into the living room, handing out plates like I was dispensing gold bars.
Josephine avoided my eyes and, for the next hour, I had to party like nothing was wrong. Finally, it was time for the Happy Birthday song. Then I took a deep breath, wished for inner peace, and blew out every candle on the first try.

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