The Parasol Protectorate Boxed Set (105 page)

“Of course, my lord. So?”

“Ah,
dandelion fluff,
I regret that I have not yet formed a ready opinion as to the nature and origin of these latest twitterings.”

A footman appeared with the lemon, and Lyall poured the vampire a cup of tea. Lord Akeldama sipped it delicately.

Lord Maccon snorted. “You haven't lacked for a ready opinion in the whole of your very long life.”

The vampire tittered at that. “True, but those expressed traditionally concern matters of dress, not politics.”

Floote came in with Alexia's dispatch case. “You're due at the palace shortly, madam.”

“Oh, my, yes, look at the time. Thank you, Floote. My parasol?”

“Here, madam.”

“And perhaps a bite to take along?”

Floote handed her a sausage roll wrapped in checked cloth, having anticipated just such a request.

“Oh, thank you, Floote.”

The earl looked up hopefully. Wordlessly Floote handed him another sausage roll. The earl downed it in two satisfied bites,
even though he had just finished a rather large meal. Floote and Lyall exchanged knowing looks. It had become quite the task
to keep both Lord and Lady Maccon fed these days.

Lady Maccon leaned forward onto the table, bracing against it with both hands, pleased to live in a household that did not
favor the spindly furniture so in vogue with ladies of quality. By dint of some sizable effort, she managed to almost hoist
herself to her feet before losing her balance and lurching back down.

“Oh, for goodness' sake,” she cried out in abject frustration. The gentlemen all leaped to her assistance. Lord Maccon made
it to her first. Which was probably a good thing. With her preternatural touch, none of the others
present would have been of any use. They were all too slight in their mortal forms to handle her clumsiness.

Having gained her feet and some measure of her dignity, Alexia said, “I really must say, I am finding my own proportions quite
vulgar.”

Lord Maccon hid his smile. “Not all that much longer, my dear.”

Alexia hated it when he called her his dear. “Really, it can't occur soon enough.” She waved off Floote's offer of a cloak
and accepted a light shawl instead. It was plenty warm enough even without the wrap, but formalities must be observed. Then
she gathered up her case and parasol.

Biffy appeared at her elbow, bloodred tailcoat in place, pure white cravat emphasizing his pleasant features, and matched
red top hat on his head. He may have had to sacrifice a good many things to take up his new role as a werewolf, but he had
refused to sacrifice his tailor.

“I am to act as escort this evening, my lady?”

“Oh, yes, Biffy dear. How did you know?”

Biffy gave her a look remarkably similar to the one always worn by Lord Akeldama when he was asked such a question.

Alexia nodded her understanding and then looked to the vampire. “Share a carriage, my lord potentate?”

“Why not?” Lord Akeldama sucked down the last of his tea, stood, performed an exaggerated bow to the two werewolves still
at the dining table, and offered his arm to Alexia. She took it and they swept from the room, Biffy trailing faithfully after.

As they left, Lady Maccon heard her husband say to Lyall, “How long do you imagine we are going to have to keep up this place
of residence?”

“Until the child is grown, I suppose,” responded the Beta.

“God's teeth, it's going to be a long sixteen years.”

“I imagine you'll survive it relatively unscathed, my lord.”

“Randolph, you and I both know there are things far worse than death.”

Alexia and Lord Akeldama exchanged smiles.

*   *   *

“Did you tell her?” asked the first ghost, stretched as far as she could, shimmering in and out of existence with the strain
of her extended tether.

“I told her.” The second ghost bobbed up and down in the air above the street. She was a little more substantial, a little
closer to home. “I told her what I could remember. I told her to put a stop to it. Are we done now?”

They were both lucid, strangely lucid, for two so near the end of enmatterment. It was as though the afterlife were giving
them this one chance to fix things.

“We're done,” said the first ghost. Both of them knew she wasn't referring to their plan or to their relationship but to their
inevitable demise. “Now only I must wait.”

L
ady Maccon, muhjah, and Lord Akeldama, potentate, were allowed through the entrance to Buckingham Palace with very little
ceremony. It was not one of their scheduled visits, but Lord Akeldama and Lady Maccon were regulars and, as such, required
only minimal perusal. They were also favorites, or Lady Maccon was. Lord Akeldama was generally regarded by members of both
the military and the constabulary with whom he had congress as
challenging in large doses.
However, the castle guards were diligent, hardworking lads with a care to their royal duties. Lady Maccon's neck was checked
for bite marks and her dispatch case for illegal steam devices. She yielded up her parasol without question. Alexia would
rather have them confiscate it than have to explain how it worked. Lord Akeldama's clothing was far too tight for any hidden
weaponry, but the guards did check his top hat before allowing him to proceed.

Biffy was not permitted entrance, despite the extraor
dinarily royal color of his jacket. He was pronounced, with much forcefulness, as being
not on the register.
However, Biffy was of such a pleasant disposition that he was content to remain behind at the entrance for the duration of
the council. Alexia distinctly heard him say, in lilting tones, “Such a big hat you have, Lieutenant Funtington!” to one of
the stoic-faced palace guards.

“Incorrigible child,” she said to Lord Akeldama with a smile of affection.

“I would say I taught him everything he knows, but Biffy's a natural.” Lord Akeldama nodded his approval.

They made their way into the meeting chamber to find the dewan already pacing about in a tizzy. Queen Victoria was not there.
The queen did not attend most Shadow Councils. She expected to be informed of anything significant but otherwise was uninterested
in the minutiae.

“Threat to the queen, I hear.” The dewan was a large gruff individual who reminded Alexia of her husband, in character if
not in appearance or manner. Not that she would ever tell this to either of them. He held state as the Earl of Upper Slaughter
but no longer boasted the country seat to accompany the title. Similarly, he had the demeanor of a leader without a pack.
This freedom from responsibility both as lord and Alpha made the dewan the most powerful autonomous werewolf in all England.
And, even though he was not quite as big as Conall Maccon, it was generally acknowledged by all—including said Conall Maccon—that
Lord Slaughter could give even that most feared of Alphas a fight for his fur. Thus, the dewan and Lord Maccon tended to circle
each other, both in and out of polite company, rather like two tugboats drawing freight—widely and with much tooting.

“Indeed.” Alexia's practical side was pleased at the two Alphas' respective similarities, because constant exposure to her
husband had given her the necessary skills for handling the dewan.

She and Lord Akeldama wafted—or, in Alexia's case, toddled—in and took seats at the long mahogany table, leaving the dewan
to continue his pacing unmolested.

Lady Maccon snapped open the lid of her dispatch case and extracted her harmonic auditory resonance disruptor. The spiky little
apparatus looked like two tuning forks sticking out of a bit of crystal. While Alexia rummaged about for further necessities,
Lord Akeldama tapped one fork with his finger, waited a moment, and then tapped the other. This resulted in a discordant,
low-pitched humming, amplified by the crystal. It would prevent their conversation from being overheard.

“Serious, do you think? This threat? One to be taken seriously?”

The dewan ought to have been handsome with his dark hair and deep-set eyes, but his mouth was a little too full, the cleft
in his chin a little too pronounced, and his mustache and muttonchops excessively aggressive. This facial hair had initially
given Alexia much distress. Why? was the question. Most gentlemen went clean-shaven into immortality's long night. Poor Biffy
had had to wait in scruffy purgatory until Alexia returned home from her European tour and turned him mortal long enough to
shave. Professor Lyall had reportedly been kind and sympathetic during that most trying of times.

Lady Maccon took out her notes on the ghostly event and closed her dispatch case. She had attempted to remember and transcribe
everything the specter said to her. “The
threat came to me via a ghost messenger. I think we must treat it with slightly greater significance than we would some blundering
daylight opportunist with a taste to become the next darling of the anarchist press.”

Lord Akeldama added, “And, my
sweetlings,
if a supernatural told of the threat to a preternatural, it is likely that something or someone equally unnatural is involved.”

The dewan sucked at his teeth. “Very serious.”

Lord Akeldama sat back and rested the tips of his long white fingers on the table before him. It was a gesture oddly reminiscent
of his predecessor.

Alexia continued. “Greatly mysterious as well. My husband says that BUR records show nothing on this ghost. We've been unable
to locate either her or her corpse since she delivered the message.” Alexia had no compunction about involving the two disparate
arms of Her Majesty's supernatural supervisory operations, nor tapping into the advantages afforded by her position as wife
to BUR's chief officer. So far as she was concerned, bureaucratic restrictions were all very well in their place, but they
couldn't be allowed to limit efficiency. So while BUR was supposed to handle enforcement and the Shadow Council deal with
legislative issues, Alexia was actively causing the two to become ever more entangled.

This was largely held to be one of the reasons Queen Victoria had appointed her muhjah in the first place.

The dewan was suspicious. “Why was the message delivered to
you
? And why use a ghost? Most are instinctively afraid of you because of what you are and what you can do.”

Lady Maccon nodded. Even when she was properly introduced to ghosts, they treated her with decided wariness. “Valid points.
I don't know. If anyone, it should have been
brought to the attention of my husband. He's the official channel.”

“The fact that you are the muhjah is not well known around town except by the hives. A standard ghost would not have had access
to information divulging your state and position and would not have known that you have the queen's ear. So, there is even
less reason to tell you under such circumstances.”

Alexia looked over her notes. “Perhaps it has something to do with my father.”

The dewan paused in his pacing. “God's teeth, why should it?”

“The ghost muttered something about ‘daughter of Tarabotti.' As though she were specifically driven to find me because of
my name.”

“Perhaps the ghost knew Alessandro Tarabotti in life, my little
dipped biscuit.
”

Alexia nodded. “Perhaps. Regardless, if the threat is coming from the supernatural element, who do we like as suspects?”

Lord Akeldama immediately said, “I know one or two darling little lone werewolves who've been getting restless.” He tilted
his head and snapped his teeth together a couple times.

The dewan countered with, “There are some rove vampires with sharp fangs.”

Lady Maccon was having none of this kind of scapegoat prejudice. “I think we ought to take everything into consideration and
assume that it could also be a hive or a pack that is involved.”

Lord Akeldama looked cagey and the dewan uncomfortable.

The dewan said, “Oh, very well, but what kind of lead do we have?”

“Only the ghost. I have to find her, and soon, for she was getting rather unsubstantial.”

“Why you?” demanded the dewan.

“Clearly it has to be me. I was the one she was looking for, so I am the one she will converse with. Either one of you might
do more harm than good. I'm already concerned that my husband is blundering about without my supervision.”

Lord Akeldama laughed. “Thank heavens he never hears you talk like that,
petunia.
”

“What makes you think he doesn't?” Alexia continued her line of reasoning. “A ghost left untended, no preservation enacted,
in the dead of summer. How long would the specter remain sane under such conditions?”

The dewan answered, “Only a few days.”

“And if she were given regular formaldehyde treatments?”

“Several weeks.”

Alexia pursed her lips. “That is a rather broad window.”

Lord Akeldama smoothed his fingertips over the tabletop. “Did she have any kind of accent, my petal?”

“You mean was she foreign?”

“No, snowdrop. I mean, could you make out her
place
in society?”

Lady Maccon considered this. “Good but not particularly well educated. I should say perhaps upstairs staff? Which could explain
why she did not get proper preservation, burial… or registry with BUR.” Alexia was smart enough to carry the line of
reasoning full unto its undignified potential. “So I am looking for a shopgirl or perhaps
a housekeeper or cook. One who has died within the past two weeks. Few or no family members. And within a tethering radius
of the potentate's town house.”

Lord Akeldama shook his head in distress. “You have my deepest sympathies.”

Alexia knew this for the sham that it was. Lord Akeldama liked to pretend he attended only the best parties and fraternized
with only the right kind of people. His drones were certainly drawn from the highest society had to offer. But Biffy, in his
day, had unexpectedly turned up in more unsavory locales than a housekeeper would ever frequent, and Lord Akeldama would never
make his drones go anywhere in London he had not vetted first himself.

The dewan kept the conversation on course. “But, Muhjah, that's hundreds of houses, not to mention shops, private clubs, and
other places of interest.”

Lady Maccon considered Madame Lefoux's underground contrivance chamber, just outside the radius of inquiry. “In addition,
it does not take into account cellars or attics built with subterfuge in mind. And it assumes strangers will tell me if someone
within their household has recently died. Nevertheless, can you think of a better approach?”

Neither Lord Akeldama nor the dewan could.

The infant-inconvenience kicked out in apparent punctuation to this statement. Lady Maccon made an
oof
noise, glared down at her stomach, then cleared her throat when the others looked at her inquiringly.

“Do we inform the queen in the meantime?” Now that they had some kind of plan, the dewan seemed to feel that pacing about
was no longer necessary. He came to sit at the table.

Lord Akeldama took a stand at that. He always took a stand over control of information. “Not just yet, I think, fluffy. Not
until we have more concrete evidence. All we have now are the mutterings of a mad ghost.”

Lady Maccon, a mite suspicious of his motives, nevertheless had to agree with his point. “Very well, I'll investigate those
residences that look to be nighttime inclined, as soon as we have finished here. I'll sleep tomorrow morning and continue
in the afternoon with the daylight households.”

Lord Akeldama winced and then took a deep breath. “This may be distressing to hear, my flower, but I'm afraid it simply
must
be said. I am loathe to advocate such an
onerous
thing, but as you are searching for someone beneath you, you might want to dress down accordingly.”

Lady Maccon winced, thinking of Felicity and her knitwear. “Are you suggesting that I pretend to be a
servant
?”

“I am so very sorry,
dumpling,
but you might have greater success with subterfuge.” The vampire's eyes welled with tears at the necessity of having to recommend
such a horror.

Alexia took a deep breath to firm her resolve. “Oh, the actions I must undertake for my country.”

So it was that Lady Maccon, dressed in some menial rags of ill design and shapeless cut, accompanied by Biffy in the guise
of husband, became far more familiar with her new neighborhood than she had previously imagined possible. Biffy looked more
uncomfortable in his baggy, lower-class Sunday best than Alexia had ever seen him in evening garb, no matter how tight the
breeches or how high the collar. Nevertheless, he threw himself wholeheartedly into the role
of out-of-work butler with pregnant housekeeper wife. At each new door, they asked politely after places recently vacated.
At each they were treated with a modicum of compassion by the respective butlers—partly due to Alexia's condition but mostly
due to the excellent references they were able to provide from one Lady Maccon of Woolsey Castle.

Still, after the eleventh cup of tea, they turned reluctantly back toward Lord Akeldama's street, none the wiser as to any
recent deaths that might have gone to ghost. Although, they had received, much to Alexia's surprise, the offer of positions
in the respectable town house of a minor baronet.