The Pastor's Wife (12 page)

C
ount to ten. Do not go off.
Savannah had to repeat the mantra over and over in her head. She wanted to lose it after hearing Terrance tell her Raquel would be staying with him for a little while.

Technically, she couldn’t really say anything because they hadn’t formally committed. Shoot, besides the one time they’d made love, they hadn’t really done anything but hung out, having a good time. But she hadn’t been patient for nothing. She’d been trying to show Terrance she could be his friend as well as his woman. Raquel moving in would definitely throw a monkey wrench in her plan.

“Hello, Savannah, are you still there?” Terrance said into the phone.

Savannah took a deep breath and snapped back to her phone conversation. “Yeah, I’m still here. I just don’t understand why she has to stay with you,” she whined.

“Well, I’ve already explained. She’s a friend, number one. Number two, she has nowhere else to go.”

Think, think, think,
Savannah tried to tell herself.

“I understand that this may be difficult for you, but you have to know I’d be this way with anyone in need,” Terrance continued.

Yeah, but Raquel ain’t just anyone,
Savannah wanted to scream. She’s the type of woman everyone wanted him with. Savannah finally deduced that she would just have to step up her game. If she went off, it would only turn Terrance off, and since she wasn’t officially his girlfriend, she couldn’t risk that.

She softened her tone. “I understand that. That’s the type of man you are. And that’s what I love about you.” Terrance was silent, like her profession of love had thrown him off. But she had purposefully said that, throwing it in to solidify her position. “And, no, I don’t like the idea of another woman laying up in your house—”

Terrance cut her off. “She’ll be in the guest room.”

“But,” Savannah continued before he could cut her off again, “you are her friend, and if a person can’t count on their friends, who can they count on?” Savannah wanted to play the sensitive, understanding role and show him what a good sport she was.

Terrance hesitated again before saying, “Wow, Savannah. You took this a lot better than I thought you would.”

“Terrance, I know people have said all these horrible things about me, but I really am a good person,” she sweetly replied.

He hesitated. “I know you are, Savannah. That’s why I care about you so much.”

It was her turn to pause. It wasn’t quite what she wanted to hear; after all, she had just told him she loved him. The night they’d made love, he’d told her he loved her. But it
was
in the heat of the moment when he’d said it. And after she’d asked him three times to tell her he loved her. She’d been hoping he’d repeat it over the last three weeks, but so far, not a word.

“Well, Terrance, you let me know if I can help in any way. If she needs someone to talk to, you know, another female perspective, I’d love to come to talk to her. Lord knows I’ve had my share of no-good men.” Savannah immediately grimaced. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that. It would only remind Terrance that she’d been around.

Terrance didn’t pay her comment any attention, because he quickly bid her good-bye and made his way downstairs into the living room. Raquel was sitting on the sofa, already engrossed in a movie on the Lifetime Movie Network.

“Oh, no,” Terrance said, sitting down in the oversize chair across from her. “Didn’t you get the memo? There is a no-Lifetime rule in this house.”

“Then I’d better leave right now.” She laughed.

He loved her laugh. It was infectious and could brighten up the darkest of rooms. He marveled at how comfortable she looked curled up on the sofa. She looked like she belonged there. Like she was right at home. Terrance shook his head, trying to get rid of the strange feelings that were starting to creep up on him whenever he was around Raquel.

“How long you been up?” he asked.

“A couple of hours.” She pulled a burgundy afghan throw up to her chest. “I couldn’t really sleep.”

The smile left Terrance’s face. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?”

She nodded, then turned to him, her eyes filling with tears again. “It’s just sad to see your dreams go up in smoke. But I know God doesn’t make mistakes, and He revealed to me that Dolan was not the man for me.” She let out a long sigh. “Even still, I hate that I’ve wasted six years of my life. I mean, I’m not getting any younger you know. And who the heck wants to start over in this dating game?”

“Ain’t that the truth.” Terrance thought back to his last few disastrous dates. “I think that’s why I kinda settled with Savannah. The whole dating thing is not for me.”

Raquel looked uneasily at him.

“What?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Honestly, I really didn’t see Savannah as being for you either,” Raquel softly replied. “It kind of surprised me that you were with her.”

“You and everybody else. But she’s a lot better than people give her credit for. In fact, she was even okay with you staying here, offering help if you needed it.”

“Did she really?”

Terrance nodded. “That’s the sweet side of her that no one ever sees.”

“Well, I hope she makes you happy.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, with Terrance even finding himself drawn into the Lifetime movie.

“You’d better not ever tell anyone that I spent the morning watching Lifetime,” he playfully threatened after the movie went off.

She laughed. “Scout’s honor.”

They spent the rest of the day just lounging around the house, talking, dozing off and on, and scrounging around for something to eat. It was the first time since Terrance could remember that he just spent a leisurely day doing nothing.

Finally, as the sun began to set, Terrance told her, “I’d better go call Savannah back and then work on my sermon for tomorrow.” Savannah had called seven times throughout the day, each time with a different excuse about what she wanted. He eventually told her he’d just call her back when he got a chance.

“How about I whip up some chicken Alfredo while you work?” Raquel suggested. “Provided you have all of the ingredients.”

“Well, I know I have chicken and even the pasta, but I don’t know about the Alfredo sauce.”

“Oh, I make my own Alfredo sauce.” She stood, then leaned over and gently kissed him on the head. “Thanks for everything, Terrance. I’ll have dinner ready in about an hour.”

Terrance smiled up at her. “Hmmm, beautiful, smart, nice,
and
you make Alfredo sauce from scratch? Where have you been all my life?” he said jokingly. But as she playfully waved him off and walked into the kitchen, he felt a small twinge in his heart that had him really wishing that he wasn’t joking.

T
errance stared at the light fixture as it hung loosely by its cord from the ceiling.

“Do I need to make a run for it?” Raquel asked as she leaned against the doorframe.

“Look, don’t you know that I’m a jack-of-all-trades?” He held up the screwdriver and playfully shook it at her. “I told you I’d get this ceiling fan installed, and doggone it, I’m going to get it installed.”

She shrugged. “Sorry, I just thought you meant you’d get it installed today.”

“Oh, you got jokes.” Terrance cocked his head and studied the many wires hanging out of the ceiling. The guest room where Raquel was staying sat on the west side of the townhome, and the sun made it hot in there, so Terrance had told Raquel he’d install her a ceiling fan.

Raquel laughed as she shook her head. “Terrance, why is it so difficult for you to admit that you don’t know what in the world you’re doing?”

“Why don’t you have any faith in me?” He pulled on one of the wires. “I told you that all you had to do was—” He jumped back. “Ouch!” he screamed after several sparks shot from the wires. He jerked his hand back and quickly stuck his fingers in his mouth. “Man, that hurt,” he mumbled.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” Raquel sighed as she walked over and extended her hand toward Terrance. “Get down off the ladder. I told you, it’s no big deal. I will buy a little portable fan for the room until you can get a professional to come in and install the ceiling fan the right way.”

“I told you I could do it,” he said as he eased off the ladder.

“Obviously, you can’t.” She took his hand. “Look, you’ve burned yourself. Come on, let me find something to put on that.”

Raquel led Terrance back to the bathroom. “Where’s your first-aid kit?”

Terrance, who had gone back to sucking on his fingers, used his elbow to point toward the sink. Raquel opened the cabinet doors and began sifting through all of the junk under the bathroom sink. She found the first-aid kit, pulled it out, opened it, then removed some burn cream. “Come here,” she said.

Terrance knew he was probably acting like a baby right now, but truthfully, it felt wonderful to have someone take care of him. Granted, Raquel always watched out for him and had his back, but this time, things seemed different.

“Let me see your hand.” Raquel inspected his hand. Small blisters had begun to form on the tips of three of his fingers. “Dang, you got burned pretty bad.”

Terrance watched as she went to work. She eased his hand under the faucet, running some cool water over it. Then she pulled it back, dried it off, and began applying burn cream to his fingers.

“There, is that better?” she asked after she had gently massaged the cream into his fingers.

“Much better.” Terrance smiled. Raquel was standing right in front of him. “My faithful assistant. I should’ve known you’d make things better.”

“Yeah, good ol’ dependable Raquel. You can always count on her to make things better,” she quipped.

Terrance’s expression turned serious. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

She laughed. “I know.” Raquel was silent for a minute as she stared at him with an intensity he’d never seen before. “I like making things better for you, Terrance,” she said, her voice soft and low.

Terrance felt goose bumps creep up his back. He didn’t understand what was going on. Raquel was just a dear friend. That’s all.
So, why are you suddenly so nervous around her?
he silently asked himself.

“Thank you,” he finally managed to say. The next thing Terrance knew, he had leaned in and gently kissed Raquel on the lips. At first she tensed up, but then, her body began to relax. Her eyes were closed, but Terrance could feel the intensity in her kiss.

After about a minute, Raquel must’ve caught herself because she pulled back and stared at Terrance.

Terrance didn’t know how to read her reaction, so he immediately apologized. “I…I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Raquel shook her head like she was trying to make sure she hadn’t imagined the whole thing. “Ummmm, I think we both just got carried away for a minute,” she said, backing up.

Terrance wanted to kick himself. He didn’t know where that had come from. They were friends. Shoot, he was her boss. He couldn’t believe that he’d kissed her.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

He glanced down at his hand. “Thanks for fixing me up. I think I’m going to head to bed now. I’m kind of tired.”

“Yeah, me, too.” They stood staring at each other awkwardly before Raquel headed toward the door.

“Raquel?”

“Huh?” she replied, turning around.

“Are we okay? I mean, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to…you know…”

“We’re okay. Don’t worry about it. We’re both just vulnerable right now. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” She tried to smile before making her way out of the bathroom.

Terrance wanted desperately to stop her, to tell her that he did really mean it. But instead, he just let her walk out.

As soon as she was gone, Terrance turned on the faucet in the shower. If ever he needed a cold shower, it was now.

“O
kay, I’m straight about to lose my cool,” Savannah griped to Tyra as she slammed the phone down. “It’s been two freaking weeks and I haven’t spent any time with Terrance! If it wasn’t for me going to church, I wouldn’t see him at all. Oh, but you’d better believe little Miss Purity sees him every day!”

“Dang, girl, calm down,” Tyra said, munching on some Pringles.

Savannah paced back and forth across the living room in their apartment. “I can’t calm down. I
won’t
calm down. I’m sick of playing this understanding-girlfriend role.”

Tyra held up a finger. “Ummm, technically, you’re not his girlfriend.”

Savannah cut her eyes at her friend. “Shut up, Tyra.”

Tyra shrugged and went back to her Pringles.

“All I’m saying,” Savannah continued as she plopped down on the sofa, “is I’m tired of being this patient, sweet girl. It’s one thing to be understanding about that woman staying with him. But it’s another when she starts taking time away from me.”

Tyra narrowed her eyes in confusion. “You really were never understanding, Savannah. You just knew you didn’t have a choice.”

“You know, you’re really not helping.”

“I’m sorry,” Tyra said, finally turning serious. “I know you’re upset, but what good is that doing you? Shoot, you’re losing your edge anyway. If it had been me, I would’ve been over there two weeks ago. We all woulda been sitting up in his living room like one big happy family.”

Savannah threw up her hands in frustration. “So, what am I supposed to do, just show up at his front door?”

Tyra shook her head like she couldn’t believe Savannah wasn’t getting it. “Yeah. Girl, you’re resourceful. You better come up with an excuse and get your tail over there before she plays up that oh-my-man-beat-me-and-I-need-your-big-strong-arms-to-protect-me act.” Tyra shot Savannah a no-nonsense look that seemed to say,
What are you waiting for, go.

“You’re right,” Savannah finally said as she stood up.

Tyra frowned. “But, I’m gonna need you to go change out of that frumpy-looking outfit and go put on something cute.”

Savannah looked down at her oversize sweatshirt and black leggings. “You got a point.” She laughed. “Let me go get cute.”

“And hurry up,” Tyra called after Savannah as she hurried to her bedroom to change.

Thirty minutes later Savannah was knocking on Terrance’s door. It was ten o’clock, so she figured he was finished writing his sermon. She had a toothbrush and change of clothes stuffed down in her large Hobo bag. Since it was already so late, she was hoping that she’d be able to spend the night.

Savannah was just about to knock again when the door swung open.

“Savannah?”

Savannah had to catch herself because she knew she had a crazy look on her face. “Raquel. I didn’t expect you to answer the door.” Raquel looked extremely comfortable with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, in a pair of lounging pants and a T-shirt that read
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

“Terrance is in his office. I was in the living room watching television and told him I’d get the door,” Raquel said, sounding chipper.

Savannah reached up and pushed the door, nearly knocking over Raquel as she made her way in. “How thoughtful of you. I just wanted to stop by and check on Terrance. I know he’s been under a lot of pressure lately, and I was worried about him.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Savannah spun on Raquel. “I can let him know myself.” She wasn’t trying to be downright rude, but she didn’t like how Raquel was making her feel like
she
was the one intruding.

“Have it your way,” Raquel said, throwing up her hands, the pleasantness gone from her voice.

Terrance must’ve heard them talking because he appeared in the living room. “Savannah? I thought I heard your voice. What are you doing here?”

Savannah glared at Raquel, then turned toward Terrance, a smile immediately filling her face. “Hi, sweetie. I just wanted to bring you some of your favorite.” She held up the Baskin-Robbins ice cream bag, glad that she’d thought at the last minute to stop. “Rainbow sherbet. I know you’ve been kind of stressed.”

Terrance didn’t look the least bit happy to see her. “You should’ve called.”

She bit her lip. “Well, I was just running to the drugstore and thought about you while I was out. I didn’t have my cell phone,” she said, silently praying that the dang thing didn’t start ringing in her purse. “I really didn’t think it would be a problem.”

Terrance sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. We were just about to head to bed.”

Savannah raised her eyebrows. “We?”

Terrance shook his head. “You know what I meant.”

Savannah folded her arms, attitude slowly settling in. “No, enlighten me.”

“I meant
we,
as in me in my bed and Raquel in hers. Don’t try to make this out to be something it’s not.”

Savannah glanced over at Raquel, then back at Terrance. “You know, Terrance, I can’t really tell what it is. Ever since she weaseled her way in here, you don’t seem to have time for me anymore.”

Raquel must finally have decided to step in. “Look, Savannah, I hope you don’t think I’m here to cause any problems. I was ju—”

Savannah held up her hand, cutting Raquel off. “Look, ain’t nobody talking to you. This is between me and my man.”

“Savannah, please don’t come over here starting any mess.” Terrance sighed. “Raquel’s been through enough.”

Savannah dramatically rolled her eyes. “Oh, forgive me.
Raquel’s
been through a lot.
Raquel
has had a hard time. I’m so glad everybody’s so doggone concerned about Raquel.”

“You know what? I think you need to leave,” Terrance said firmly.

“
I
need to leave?
I
need to leave? I’m your woman. If anybody should be leaving, it needs to be her,” Savannah spat.

“Terrance, I’m so sorry. I’ll go to a hotel,” Raquel interjected. “I never meant to cause you any problems.”

“Yeah, why don’t you go do that. The Motel 6 right down the road had a vacancy sign.”

“Savannah!” Terrance admonished. After all the praises he’d been singing about Savannah, he couldn’t believe she was over here acting a ghetto-fabulous fool. “You have no right to come into my home demanding who can and can’t stay here! I’m going to ask you again, please leave. We’ll discuss this another time.”

Savannah caught herself, realizing she was actually about to blow everything she’d worked so hard for. Suddenly, she let out a huge sob. “I’m so sorry, Terrance,” she cried as she dropped down on the sofa. “I’m just so stressed. I don’t know what to do. I came by hoping to talk to you. I’ve been going crazy.”

Terrance’s anger seemed to be evaporating. He’d never seen Savannah cry and definitely didn’t like the sight of it. “What’s wrong?”

Savannah dabbed at her eyes as she tried to taper her tears, which were flowing hard and heavy now. “I, I just don’t know how to say this,” she said, finally catching her breath.

“Say what?”

Savannah looked over at Raquel, her eyes filled with tears. “Raquel, I’m sorry for acting so ugly toward you. Can you give us a minute?”

Raquel nodded. She wore a look like she was still unsure whether to believe Savannah, but she walked upstairs.

“Terrance,” Savannah began after Raquel had left the room. She paused, like she was trying to gather her thoughts together. “I just really don’t know how to say this to you.”

“Just say it,” Terrance said, worried because he had never seen her like this.

“I’m pregnant.”

Terrance had to blink a few times to make sure he’d heard her right. “Pregnant?”

She slowly nodded. “I was on the pill but I hadn’t been taking them regularly for the past year because I hadn’t been sexually active, and it wasn’t really a priority for me. I just never thought…” She buried her head in her hands and cried.

“Pregnant?” he repeated. “Oh my God. Are…are you sure?”

Savannah nodded again as she looked up at him. “Two home tests and a blood test at the doctor’s office sure.”

Pregnant?
Terrance had to sit down himself. He stared at her in utter disbelief. He was the minister of a growing, thriving church. What would he look like getting a woman pregnant and having a baby out of wedlock?

Savannah must’ve been reading his mind because she said, “I’m not asking for anything from you. I debated having an abortion, but honestly, I just couldn’t bring myself to do that. So, I decided I’m just going to move away and have my baby.”

Terrance got up and began pacing the room, trying to compose his thoughts. Abortion definitely wasn’t an option. But neither was her moving away and his pretending like he didn’t have a kid. He would never subject his child to something like that.

“Terrance, I’m soooo sorry.” Savannah’s sobs became more intense.

Terrance sat back down next to her, taking her hand. “Sssshhh, don’t cry,” he said, stroking her hair. “You didn’t do this by yourself so you’re not going to deal with it by yourself.”

She lay on his chest. She seemed comforted by his touch. Terrance, on the other hand, felt like his world was starting to fall apart.