The Pastor's Wife (18 page)

T
he sickness wasn’t going away. Terrance hadn’t felt right since Savannah had demanded that he marry her. And things had just gotten worse when she demanded it take place at the Christmas celebration. He felt like he was just existing. He knew things were bad because he couldn’t even find solace in the Word, and that’s something that seldom happened.

The only good thing to come out of all this was that Savannah had been so engrossed in wedding plans that she was staying out of his hair.

His aunts had all but disowned him, even missing church the last few Sundays out of protest. And to make matters worse, he still hadn’t made amends with Raquel. He’d finally broken down and tried to call her, but she never took his calls, nor did she ever call him back.

Terrance unlocked the door to the church. He was grateful that the building was empty as he really wasn’t up to dealing with anyone.

He had just walked into his office when he noticed her.

“Raquel?” She was at her desk outside his office.

He’d obviously startled her because she jumped. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be here. You had a barbershop appointment today.”

“They were crowded and I didn’t think I’d make it out in time to be back before Bible Study.” Terrance stared at her, taking in her beauty. She had her hair down and looked gorgeous in a brown velour warm-up. “No, I’m…I’m happy to see you.” Why had he not tried to pursue her a long time ago? She was everything he ever wanted in a woman. Maybe if he hadn’t been trying to be so respectful of her relationship with Dolan, they’d be together and he wouldn’t be in this mess with Savannah.

Raquel finished putting some things in a box. “I just stopped by to get the rest of the things from my desk. And to drop off the keys. Sorry it took so long but…” She didn’t finish her sentence, instead letting her words trail off as she looked away.

“I didn’t see your car,” Terrance said, struggling for conversation.

“I parked on the other side of the church because I didn’t know you’d fixed the door back here.”

An awkward silence briefly hung between them. “Well, I better get going,” she finally said, walking from the back of her desk.

Terrance stepped in front of her. “Why did you quit?”

She looked at him, and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. “Why do you think?” she gently replied.

“Raquel, please let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Terrance. You made your decision.”

“It’s not like that at all.”

“I heard you were getting married at the Christmas celebration. Is that true?”

Terrance diverted his eyes.

Raquel let out a pained laugh. “Leave it to Savannah to try and show up the church.” Raquel tried again to step around him. “I hope you and Savannah are very happy.”

Terrance grabbed her arm. “Please. I never meant to hurt you.”

Raquel stopped, took a deep breath, then looked him directly in the eyes. “I would hate to see the pain you could cause if you ever did mean to hurt me.”

Her words stung. Terrance found himself fighting back tears himself. He’d never realized just how deeply he cared for Raquel until this very moment. “I love you, Raquel.” He knew he shouldn’t go there, but it was as if his heart took on a voice of its own.

Tears slowly began streaming down Raquel’s face. “How can you stand there and say that to me?”

“Because it’s true.”

She wiped her eyes, like she was determined not to cry. “If it was, you wouldn’t be about to marry another woman.”

“I told you it wasn’t like that.”

Raquel set the box down. “Then what is it like, Terrance? Help me out here, because I’m not understanding. One minute you’re professing your love for me, telling me how much you want me. The next minute you’re engaged to the woman you led me to believe you couldn’t stand.”

“I never said I couldn’t stand her.”

Raquel threw up her hands. “Gimme a break, Terrance. You know what you did.” She reached for her box. He stopped her.

“I don’t love Savannah.”

Raquel glared at him, obviously trying to gauge whether he was telling her the truth. “Then why are you marrying her? You found out she was really pregnant? Help me understand.”

Terrance rubbed his hand over his face. “Have a seat.” Raquel didn’t move. “Please? I’ll explain everything.”

Raquel sat down in the wingback chair in the lobby of Terrance’s office suite.

“I’m listening.”

“I don’t know how to say this,” he began as he sat down next to her. “But long story short, Savannah is blackmailing me into marrying her.”

Terrance didn’t know how much he planned to tell Raquel. Part of him just wanted to share his dilemma with someone. The other part felt he owed her the truth.

“Blackmail?” Raquel asked incredulously.

Terrance nodded.

“Oh my God. What could she possibly have on you?”

“It’s just so hard,” he groaned. “If I tell you, it might change the way you look at me.”

Raquel took his hand. “Terrance, I love you. Everything about you.” She stroked his face. “There is nothing you can say or do that will change that.”

Lord, please guide me right now,
Terrance silently prayed. Suddenly, as if God Himself had whispered the answer in his ear, Terrance began sharing his story.

R
aquel sat at a loss for words. Her heart ached as she imagined Terrance carrying around that secret for so long. Then she felt her anger building at the thought that Savannah was actually using that information to make him marry her!

“Terrance, I am so sorry,” Raquel finally said, as she wiped away the single tear trickling down his cheek.

“It’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

“But the guilt. I know it’s been eating you alive.”

Terrance nodded. “It has. And because I never faced it, I’m now paying for it.”

“Terrance, I know this is pretty bad, but marrying Savannah is not the answer.” Raquel took his hands.

Terrance leaned back in his chair. “Then what is? Come clean and break everyone’s heart, not to mention—”

“Oh, I don’t think so!” Savannah’s boisterous voice cut him off.

Terrance looked up to his doorway to see Savannah wiggling her neck, about to go ballistic.

“I know you’re not sitting up in here holding hands with her, all deep in some conversation!”

Terrance glanced down. He hadn’t even realized Raquel was still holding his hands. He eased them away.

“Savannah,” Terrance said. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Don’t ‘Savannah’ me,” she said, stomping into his office. “What exactly are you doing up in here with her?”

Raquel stood, looking extremely uneasy. “I just came to get the rest of my things.”

“Well, get them and go, tramp!” Savannah snapped.

“Look here,” Raquel said, taking a step toward Savannah.

Terrance stepped in before Raquel could say anything. “Savannah, enough. That is totally uncalled for.”

“I’ll tell you what’s uncalled for,” Savannah began.

But before she could continue, Eva appeared in the doorway. “Good Lord Almighty, what’s all this ruckus in here?” Her eyes danced back and forth between Terrance, Raquel, and Savannah.

“Hi, Miss Eva,” Raquel said. “I just came to get the last of my things. I was just leaving.”

“You doggone right you leaving,” Savannah yelled. “I’m sick of all y’all. Go back to your fiancé and let him beat your ass some more, I don’t care, just stay away from Terrance.”

Eva’s mouth dropped open, as did those of a few other people who had begun to gather outside Terrance’s office.

“Cuz if your little yellow behind comes sniffing around my man anymore, it’s gon’ be on!” Savannah continued her rampage. Raquel glared at her like she wanted to claw her eyes out with her bare hands.

“Oh, my God,” Eva muttered, clutching the cross around her neck.

Terrance grabbed Savannah’s arm and pushed her back against the wall. He definitely hadn’t meant to manhandle her, but she was out of control. “You need to calm down!” he yelled.

“I know you didn’t just put your hands on me! You think I’m playing with you?” she shouted. Terrance had lost his mind. First, he was sneaking off with that hussy Raquel, now he had the nerve to push her! “Do you think I’m playing with you?” She looked at Eva. “You wanna know all about your perfect little angel here?”

Raquel immediately stepped in. “Savannah, I’m leaving, okay? I won’t be back, so you don’t have to worry about me anymore. Just please calm down. There was nothing going on. I was just saying good-bye. You and Terrance are about to be married. Don’t do anything you might regret,” Raquel calmly warned.

Savannah eyed Raquel suspiciously, but she did settle down. She couldn’t believe she’d gone off like that and was about to blow everything before they even said “I do.” But seeing the two of them together just made her snap.

Terrance was standing next to Savannah; the color seemed to have drained from his face.

“Ms. Eva,” Raquel said, turning to her, “you take care of yourself.”

Eva was still too stunned to reply. Raquel picked up her box, made her way through the small crowd, and left.

“I do not believe you did that,” Terrance hissed, finally finding his voice.

Savannah flung her hair out of her face and tried to stand up straight. “Believe it. And let the witch show up here again, and it’s going to be even worse. Now, I’m going to the sanctuary to wait on Bible Study to begin. I’m feeling like I need the Word today.” Then Savannah sashayed out past everyone, like she didn’t have a care in the world.

Eva slammed the door. She didn’t want the nosy church members all in their conversation. She spun on Terrance. “And you’re telling me that’s what you want in a wife? In a first lady?” she asked, dumbfounded.

Terrance closed his eyes and sighed. “Please, Aunt Eva, don’t start.”

“I’m just trying to get you to be reasonable. Ain’t no sex that good where you should be willing to put up with that nonsense.”

He opened his eyes and stared at his aunt. “What in the world are you talking about?”

“Sex. She’s whippin’ it on you real good. That can be the only possible reason why you would choose a woman like her over someone like Raquel.” Eva crossed her arms under her chest like she had figured it all out.

Terrance contemplated replying, then decided against it. “Just leave me alone. I wish everyone would just leave me alone.” Terrance grabbed his keys and stormed toward the door. “Can you ask Reverend Gibson to conduct Bible Study? I need to leave.”

“Terrance!” Eva called out after him. “Don’t you walk away from me!”

Terrance ignored her cries as he bolted out of his office, past the few onlookers still gathered outside in the hallway, and out to his car. His life was spiraling out of control and he didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

“S
o are you still mad at me?” Savannah poked her head in Terrance’s bedroom. He rolled his eyes as he lay across his bed, his unopened Bible in front of him.

He’d heard her come in, with the key she’d conveniently made for herself shortly after their “engagement.” She was taking over his life and there wasn’t a doggone thing he could do about it.

“I’m really sorry, baby,” Savannah said as she sat down on the bed next to him. He didn’t turn over as she began softly stroking the back of his head. “I know you’re mad, but I just kind of flipped out when I saw you sitting there holding Raquel’s hand. I know how bad she wants you.”

I want her, too,
Terrance wanted to scream.

“Baby.” Savannah’s voice was laced with sweetness. It made Terrance want to throw up. “I know you don’t understand or agree with what I’m doing, but I think if you just open up your heart, you’ll see that I’m doing the right thing for us.”

“How is this right for us, Savannah?” Terrance said, finally turning over. She had the nerve to actually have tears in her eyes. He wasn’t moved. He couldn’t be. Not with everything she was putting him through.

“Terrance, I love you with all my heart. I just want you to love me, too,” she whispered.

“And you think this is the way to make that happen?” he asked, sitting up.

Savannah lowered her head and started toying with the scarf belt wrapped around her waist. “I tried the right way and it got me nowhere.”

“No, your lying and deceitfulness got you nowhere.”

A tear fell from the corner of her eye. “You act like you’ve never done anything that you needed to be forgiven for. And we both know that’s not the case.”

Terrance stared at her. That hurt. But he guessed that she meant for it to. He let out a dejected sigh. Maybe if he tried to reason with her, talk to her from a spiritual perspective and not with all the hostility he’d had since she’d dropped this bombshell on him, he could make more progress. “Trust me, Savannah, I’ve done my fair share of sinning, but I pray that God will continue to direct my path so that I can live my life as a blessing to Him. It’s one thing when we mess up, but it’s when we continue to do wrong, when we know it’s wrong, that things become problematic.”

Savannah looked away, and Terrance reached out to take her hand.

“And this, trying to blackmail me into marriage, is wrong.”

Savannah snatched her hand away. He was getting to her for a minute, but she shook off any remorse that may have been creeping into her heart. “Whatever, Terrance. God talks to me, too, you know. And He told me that you were my soul mate, even if you don’t believe it. And I’m going to do whatever I have to do so that we end up together because I’m confident that eventually, you’ll come around.”

This woman can’t possibly be serious,
Terrance thought. “Savannah, listen to what you’re saying.”

Savannah stood up. “I’m making lasagna for dinner. Do you want a Caesar or traditional salad with that?”

“Can we finish this?”

“It’s finished,” Savannah replied, walking to the door. “The Christmas celebration and our wedding is in three days. The brunch is the day after tomorrow. We have a lot to do and we don’t need to sit around talking about things that won’t change. I still need to pack all my stuff. The movers will be bringing my things over the day after our wedding. You know in our haste, we didn’t talk about where we’re going for our honeymoon. Oh, well, I’ll think of something. We’ll probably just have to do something small now, and you can take me on a tropical vacation later, when you’re deeply in love with me,” Savannah rambled. “I love you and I’m going to make dinner, then I’ll make sure everything is good to go for what I’m sure will be the happiest day of my life.”

She flashed a smile before leaving the room.