The Pastor's Wife (25 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Allee

Tags: #Fiction, #Christian, #Romance, #Contemporary

BOOK: The Pastor's Wife
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Nick thought of Maura. She’d been scarred by the miscarriage and had kept it to herself for years. How was it he felt compassion for Jed, but not for her?

Simple. Because the situation was totally different. Maura was his wife.

They hadn’t spoken in three weeks. Buried in his work, Nick filled his days with meetings, lunches, and dinner appointments with members of the congregation and their families every evening. When he did have free time, he spent it in his office preparing for Easter services. The holiday came early that year, and he prayed the weather would hold for the annual sunrise service.

Still, there were those moments of silence when Nick couldn’t escape Maura's presence, or the lack of it. When he came home at the end of a hectic day, the parsonage seemed quieter and emptier than it used to. Sometimes, he’d stand in the doorway of the guestroom, looking over the empty closet and the neatly made bed, and he’d ache at the loss of her. On Sundays, she was always in church, sitting in the back pew until after worship when she left with Lainie and the youth group. When he saw her, singing praises to God with the rest of the congregation, his heart yearned for her.

But then he remembered the secrets she’d kept, the lies between them, and the pain of betrayal shot through him all over again.

Nick arrived back at the church. He pushed thoughts of Maura aside as he gathered his belongings and went inside.

Pauline sat at her desk, but didn’t offer him her usual smile. Instead, she gave a quick quirk of her lips as she thrust a stack of small pink notes at him. “Here are your messages. And I need your final version of the Easter bulletin. Please.”

It was ironic that the two most blessed and enjoyed holidays on the calendar, Christmas and Easter, also created the most work in a church office. And the most frazzled nerves.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. I’ll do that right away.”

He shuffled through the messages as he went back to his office. Nothing there that couldn’t wait until after he finished the bulletin.

Twenty minutes later the intercom on his phone buzzed. Pressing the button on his end, he answered, “I’m almost done, Pauline.”

“That's great, but it's not why I’m calling. Lainie Waters is here to see you.”

“Send her in.” This was good. He had a question for her about the youth group skit anyway.

A moment later the door opened and Lainie bounded in. “Good morning, Pastor,” she said, full of her usual energy and enthusiasm. “How are you doing?”

“Fine.” He pointed at the chair on the other side of his desk. “Have a seat.”

Lainie plopped down and began talking before Nick could say another word. “I’m concerned about a member of our congregation. And as pastor, I knew you’d want to know about it, right?”

“Of course. I—”

“Good.” Lainie put her hands on the edge of the desk and leaned forward. “I’ve been watching this man for the last few weeks, going through the motions. He says he's fine, and maybe he even believes he is. But it's obvious to me that he's hurting about something.”

Nick shifted in his chair. “Lainie, you don’t have to dance around it. If you’re talking about me, just say so.”

Lainie sighed, her face a little sad. “Okay, it's you. I know something happened between you and Maura. I don’t know
what it is, and I don’t want to know. But for the last few weeks, she's been depressed and you’ve been acting like … well, I’ve never seen you act this way before.”

Nick clasped his hands together. “Lainie, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But what happened between Maura and me doesn’t concern you or anybody else in this congregation.”

“I disagree. People aren’t stupid. They can see the tension between the two of you. If you don’t mind me saying, you’re not setting a very good example.”

Had she just said what he thought she’d said? “Excuse me?”

Lainie didn’t flinch. “By not dealing with the situation, you’re acting like it's okay to ignore your problems.”

That hurt. “I’m not ignoring anything. I may not be dealing with it the way you want me to, but I am dealing with it.”

Lainie bowed her head. When she looked up, her eyes were devoid of their usual spark. “My mom and dad have been married for thirty-four years, but I don’t think they’ve ever really loved each other. So when I see that two people who love each other as much as you and Maura do can’t work it out and be together, it breaks my heart.”

She stood up to leave. “By the way, I’ve asked Maura to officially be my assistant with the youth group. So you’ll be seeing her around a lot more, maybe even at council meetings. Just thought you should know.”

Nick's thoughts swirled as Lainie left his office. Was what she’d said true? Was he setting a bad example for the congregation?

As a pastor, he exhorted people to forgive each other. It was a foundation of his faith. He knew he had to forgive Maura, so he had. But if his forgiveness was genuine, why did he still harbor such anger and bitterness toward her?

Was forgiving someone because you had to the same as forgiving someone from your heart?

A Scripture from Ephesians exploded in his mind.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Nick bowed his head, conviction weighing down his heart. He’d told himself that he had dealt with the situation, but he hadn’t really forgiven Maura. He’d pushed the pain and the hurt into a corner of his heart and covered it with something he called forgiveness. But that wasn’t enough.

Nick stabbed the intercom button on the phone. “Pauline, the bulletin's fine as is. Go ahead and run it. Hold all my calls for a few hours, please. I don’t want to be disturbed.”

He grabbed his Bible. He didn’t expect an instant fix, but he was finally ready for the Lord to change the attitude of his heart.

 

 

“Excuse me. Pardon me.” Maura made her way through the crowd of people standing in Randall Tucker's fallow cornfield. The sun was just cresting the horizon, illuminating the misty air.

The weather forecast for today had been favorable. A high of forty-five with light winds and only a ten percent chance of rain. You couldn’t ask for much better in late March.

Maura smiled at the people around her. The Easter sunrise service was an annual tradition at Faith, and those who made a habit of attending were well prepared. They wore wool coats and scarves, earmuffs and knit caps, and waterproof footwear. The newcomers were easy to spot. They shivered in their fancy dresses and fine suits, and happily accepted the blankets and extra coats being passed out by the council members.

Maura was excited about her first Easter in Granger. Between the youth group and her classes at the theatre, she’d developed
a strong drama team, and they were participating in the service. Only the situation with Nick dampened her enthusiasm. She’d hoped that if enough time passed, he would want to talk to her, give her another chance. But nothing had changed.

Her thoughts returned to the present as Oren Thacker stepped in front of her, his arms full of cold weather gear. “Christ is risen!” He greeted her.

“He's risen indeed!” Maura returned the traditional Easter greeting. She smiled at Oren and pointed to the blankets he held. “It's nice of you to have those handy. Are you ready for your monologue?”

“Absolutely. I’ll meet you over there in a few minutes.”

With a wave, Maura went to the barn where her drama group had gathered. It was warmer inside, although their breath still hung white and puffy in the air. She spoke to everyone, sharing hugs and encouragement. When Oren and Lainie came in, they stood in a circle and shared a prayer, finishing with a group cry of “Amen!”

Maura addressed them all. “Okay, when it's time to go out—”

The barn door opened and a blast of cold air knocked into her. She looked to see who came in, and her heart skittered in her chest. It was Nick.

The air in the room seemed to sizzle with electricity despite the cold. “Good morning, everyone. Christ is risen!”

“He's risen indeed!” Twenty voices answered the pastor in unison. Maura, whose throat had turned into a sandbox, silently mouthed the words.

“I hate to send you all out into the cold, but I need to talk to Maura for a minute.” When it became obvious that no one was moving, he added, “Alone.”

Maura watched her students practically run from the room. And did she catch a smile on Lainie's face?

The barn door shut with a dull thud.

Nick cleared his throat. “Maura, I’ve been thinking about us a lot this week.”

She didn’t trust herself to speak. She could only nod.

“Easter is a time of new beginnings,” Nick continued. “I can’t go out there and lead the congregation in this service until we work out our problems. I can’t go on being married in name only. It feels deceitful. Like we’re living a lie.”

What did he mean? “I don’t understand,” she squeaked out.

He pointed to her left hand. “I need your ring back.”

Maura swallowed the tears that threatened to fall. She wouldn’t cry. She had no one to blame for this but herself. She peeled off her glove, slipped the engagement ring from her finger, and held it out to Nick.

His fingers folded around her hand as she placed the ring in his palm. “Maura, I forgive you, and I hope you can forgive me for everything I put you through. I made you feel like you were the least important person in my life. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

Her heart pounded as he got down on one knee in front of her. “I love you, Maura, and I want to be your husband again. If you’ll have me.”

With a cry of happiness, Maura dropped to her knees and threw her arms around Nick. She slammed against him like steel against a magnet, almost knocking him to the straw-covered floor. Their lips met, hungry for each other and the reunion they’d been denied for far too long.

Reluctantly, they broke apart. Nick put his hand against her cheek. “I’m not a perfect man, but I promise to be the best husband I can, with God's help. I promise to love you and not take you for granted ever again.”

She took his hand, drawing it to her lips. “I promise to talk to you and share with you, even if I have to grab you by the ear to do it. No more secrets between us. Ever.”

Nick smiled. “Let's do this right.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the other half of the wedding set. “With these rings, I thee wed. Again.”

A thrill coursed through Maura as Nick slid the rings on her finger. She reached out for his hand, removing the band that he’d never taken off. “I wed thee again too. Till death parts us.” She slipped it back on his finger, where it belonged.

Nick stood, helped Maura up, and sealed their promise with a kiss. “We should get out there before people start wondering what we’re doing.”

He put his arm around her and they walked to the door. “Just one thing,” Maura asked. “How did you get the other half of my wedding set?”

Nick grinned. “I still have a key to your apartment. I snuck in while you were at the theatre. And speaking of your apartment, what would you think about living there instead of the parsonage?”

Maura's head buzzed with excitement. Had she heard him right? “Really?”

“Sure. It's got an extra bedroom. We’ll have plenty of room there, even when our family grows.”

“Unless we have a bunch of kids.”

Nick squeezed her close. “We’ll cross that bridge when and if we come to it.”

He pulled the barn door open, and they stepped outside. To Maura's amazement, the entire congregation stood in a semicircle around the barn, facing them. Lainie and Oren stood in the front, the ring leaders of the group.

Nick kissed Maura on the cheek. He grabbed her hand and held it up high as if she was a winner in a prizefight,
making her rings sparkle in the early morning sunlight. “She said yes!”

The congregation erupted in cheers. A few yards away, the choir started singing an impromptu a cappella version of Handel's “Hallelujah!” chorus.

Maura took in a deep breath, inhaling all the joy and exuberance surrounding her. On the horizon, the sun broke out in a riot of colors, igniting the sky like a fiery stained-glass window. Her heart swelled until she feared it would burst with happiness. With her husband beside her, and the congregation in front of her, Maura thanked God for the dawning of a new day, and for the second chance He’d given her and Nick.

Discussion Questions

  1. Maura left Nick because she felt that she came last in his life. Do you think she had an unrealistic expectation of what it would be like to be a pastor's wife? Have you ever felt neglected in a relationship? How did you handle it?
  2. As a new pastor, Nick felt obligated to spend most of his time on his job. Was he right to do this? How might he have better balanced his life? Was he right to expect Maura to immerse herself in church service as well?
  3. There were issues in Nick and Maura's relationship that were never addressed. How might things have worked out differently for them if they had talked about their feelings? Do you find it difficult to talk through problems with your own spouse or those close to you?
  4. Granger is a small, close-knit town. What are the pros and cons of living in that type of community? How did the town affect Nick and Maura's marriage?
  5. Maura felt that Nick put his job before her. But when she takes over the theatre and finds a job she loves, she discovers how easy it is to be consumed by work. Do you think it helped her see Nick's side of the story? Have you ever been in a similar situation? Has your work ever taken over chunks of your personal life?
  6. When Maura returns to town, she reconnects with her friend Rachel. Have you ever had a friend who looked past your faults and just loved you? Have you been that friend? Was it worth it?
  7. At Christmastime, Nick gives Maura a teacup to replace the one he’d broken years earlier. What's the symbolism behind this gift?
  8. When Maura discovers a lump in her breast, she immediately remembers her mother's battle with breast cancer. Have you ever gone through a comparable experience or helped a loved one through something similar? How did you feel?
  9. Nick drops everything to be with Maura as she goes for tests and waits for results. Considering their history, why was that so important?
  10. Maura kept her miscarriage a secret from Nick. What were her reasons? Was she right not to tell him?
  11. When Nick finds out about the miscarriage, he feels betrayed and says that Maura lied to him. Is not telling someone the truth the same as lying? Did Nick overreact? How would you feel in a similar situation?
  12. In the end, Nick and Maura realize they were both responsible for the problems in their marriage. Only through forgiving each other were they able to move forward. Have you ever experienced a seemingly irreparable rift with a friend or loved one?

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