The Pastor's Wife (3 page)

“Wonderful.” Wendell shook her hand, then turned and shook Nick's. “It was good seeing you again, Pastor Shepherd. Feel free to call me if you need anything.”

Maura and Nick left the office and headed down the stairs. With each step, another doubt assailed her. Had she done the right thing? Had she been too rash, too headstrong? She had just made a huge decision after giving it little consideration.
She thought it was her only option, but was that true? Running the theatre meant moving back to Granger, a place she barely wanted to visit let alone live. What had she gone and done?

By the time they got to the parking lot, Maura was in a full-on panic attack. Nick was saying something, but with all the buzzing in her head he sounded like he was talking through a fast-food drive-up speaker. She walked to her rental car, put her hands on the hood, and hyperventilated.

The buzzing grew louder, droning in her ears like a cloud of mosquitoes circling her head. Finally, she made out one word, repeated over and over. “Breathe.” She felt a hand on the back of her neck, gently rubbing away the tension—heard the soothing voice telling her to breathe, breathe, breathe. Eventually, her breath evened out and the mosquitoes flew away. She was now completely aware of Nick 's strong hand kneading her neck and shoulders, and his reassuring voice that continued to encourage her. It struck her that not only had she broken out in a cold sweat, but tears were streaming down her face. So much for offering up the appearance of a confident businesswoman.

“I’m okay,” she said, pushing herself off the car hood and straightening up. “Do you have a—” Before she could finish the sentence, Nick held out a pocket pack of tissues. After she’d wiped her face and blown her nose, she turned back to him. “Sorry. I’m not sure where that came from.”

Nick shrugged. “It's been an emotional day. You probably needed a good cry.”

She nodded. “I just hope I made the right decision. Now that it's official, it's kind of scary.”

“Yes, it is. But things will get better.”

“How? We’ve got to live together now. For six months. How are we going to do that?”

She waited for Nick to give her a definitive answer. To tell her exactly how everything would work out. But he didn’t do that.

“I don’t know,” he said, looking as lost as she was. “We’ll just have to take each day as it comes. We’ll work it out.”

Did he really believe that? And why was he being so nice to her? His life was about to be thrown into chaos too. It would be just like when they first moved to Granger, only different. They would be living together almost like a husband and wife, except they were nothing of the kind anymore. Through no desire of their own, they were about to return to the place where their world had fallen apart.

She looked into his eyes. They were stormy now, like the sky over the ocean. Once, she had believed every word he said. Once, she hadn’t thought twice about trusting him. But that had blown up in her face.

How could she start trusting him now?

Maura shook herself. “Thank you for … thank you.” She took a key on a plastic card out of her purse and unlocked the car door.

Nick cocked an eyebrow at her. “Where are you going?”

“To the Holiday Inn by the airport. My flight leaves first thing in the morning.”

“I see.” He turned from her, looking in the direction of the theatre. When he looked back, his jaw was set and his eyes had gone cold. “You never intended on staying past that meeting, did you?”

She shook her head slowly. “No, I sure didn’t.”

S
elling her home and business was easier than Maura anticipated. But it was still hard.

Upon returning from Granger, she immediately called one of the shop regulars, who was a commercial real estate agent. As she expected, he knew of several prospective buyers for the property. By the end of the week, Sullivan's had a “sold” sign in the parking lot and a “closed” sign hanging on the front door.

Getting rid of the contents of Sullivan's had been more traumatic. Maura hired a company to handle the estate sale. But the morning of the sale, she couldn’t tear herself away. Something inside her needed to see who would end up with the pieces of her life.

To see people paw through the contents of her home was a little disconcerting. She had no use for the tall, green satin leprechaun hat she’d found in the storage room, but it still bothered her when a woman with a fanny pack picked it up and said to no one in particular, “This is the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Maura wanted to snatch the hat right out of the woman's hand. It was tacky, but Da had loved it.

“How much for the dart board?”

Turning around, Maura saw a young man talking to one of the company employees. He probably attended the college nearby, the same one Nick had gone to, and was looking for something to put up in his dorm room. A sad smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Nick had tried to shoot darts a couple of times with some of the regulars at Sullivan's. It hadn’t been pretty. A sad smile came to her lips. Except for that one time.

As the dart board buyer considered his purchase, another woman haggled over the price of a dozen old-fashioned straw holders. Behind her, someone pushed a button on the ancient jukebox Da had kept stocked with Irish favorites. The strains of Van Morrison singing “Tura Lura Lural” filled the air, and for a moment, Maura couldn’t breathe.

She’d had enough. With a sigh, she made her way through the throng of bargain shoppers. It was time to let the past go.

The next morning, Maura took a final look at the place that had been her home for most of her life. As she stood in the parking lot, a geyser of sadness bubbled up inside, confusing her. Why was she so sad now? It was just a building, after all. She’d faced greater losses in her life: her mother's death from cancer when Maura was sixteen, and Da going to be with his beloved wife just a few months ago. Losing them was far more difficult than leaving a building.

Still, standing in front of the shop for the last time, Maura's emotions roiled. The new owners planned to demolish the building, replacing it with something new and trendy designed to bring in more revenue. Maura couldn’t argue with the business sense of that plan, but it still made her heart ache. Sullivan's was small and simple, but it was home. Seeing it go was a little like losing her father all over again.

With the car packed to the brim with her personal items she hit the road, determined to adopt a positive outlook. The
first time she’d made this drive, she was a bright-eyed newlywed. Though she expected to see the country they drove through, stopping to poke along the way, Nick had other ideas. They had to keep to the schedule, which meant side trips were nonexistent. But this time, it would be different. She had her route mapped out and a box on the passenger seat filled with CDs from her favorite movie musicals and Broadway shows. She was her own pilot, copilot, and navigator. There was no one to tell her how far to drive, where to stop, or what she could or couldn’t see. And she planned to see all the interesting little tourist traps along the way.

The live unicorn exhibit was a huge disappointment and a total waste of time—just one more thing that didn’t live up to her expectations.

“People really shouldn’t be allowed to post blatantly false advertisements on the side of the road,” she muttered to herself. Keeping her eyes forward with one hand on the steering wheel, she fiddled with the CD player. She punched a button and Julie Andrews's voice sang out, smooth as warm honey, claiming that all she wanted was a room somewhere.

Maura groaned. A room. It was getting late, and her little side trip had put her even further off schedule. She needed to find a hotel to stay the night, but right now all that greeted her was prairie as far as the eye could see. Her idea to remain spontaneous hadn’t worked out well. The last two nights she’d had to try several hotels before she found one with a vacancy. Hopefully, tonight she’d get a room at the first hotel she found. Considering her luck lately, the owner would be a psychopath running another Bates Hotel. No wonder Nick had been such
a stickler about planning ahead and keeping to the schedule when the two of them made this trip.

What was Nick doing now? Was he having dinner at home alone? More likely, she’d find him at some church function. But wherever he was, at least he had a bed to sleep in at the end of the day. Maura just hoped she’d find a place to stretch out and get some sleep. And soon.

Maura made much better time after the unicorn incident, but her spirits hadn’t improved any. By the time she arrived in Granger two days later, her joints felt locked in place and her muscles protested every move she made. Glancing at the seat beside her, Maura shuddered. It would be quite a while before she listened to any of those CDs again.

She drove down Main Street and made a right on Clover Ridge Road. Faith Community Church stood proud and tall, taking up the corner, sparkling in a relatively fresh new coat of white paint. Next to the church sat the parsonage, the first in a street full of modest, almost identical houses. Maura pulled into the driveway, cut the engine, and eased herself out of the car.

Standing out front,
deja vu
wound around her like a python, creeping up her body, slowly squeezing the air out of her. The first time she’d seen this house, Nick had been by her side. They were both excited and ready to embark on a new adventure. But while Maura looked at the parsonage, thinking of the home they would make together, Nick couldn’t tear his eyes away from the church next door. That should have been her first clue.

When she left Granger, she swore she was done with the town and everyone in it. Now here she was, returning to the
place where everything went so wrong. How ironic that in order to start a new life for herself, she had to backtrack into her old one.

She took a deep breath, climbed the three steps to the front porch, and reached out her hand. Her fingers stopped just short of the front door. She lived here, too, now. But just letting herself in didn’t feel right, and ringing the bell felt way too formal. Finally, she gave the door a couple of awkward raps with her knuckles.

A moment later the door swung open and Nick stood in front of her, a frown creasing his forehead. “Maura. You’re early.”

She glanced at her watch. She’d called last night to update him on her progress. Naturally, she’d gotten the answering machine. But in her message, she’d only said that she’d arrive today. “I don’t remember telling you what time I’d be in.”

“You didn’t.”

“Then how can I be early?”

Nick shook his head. “I’m sorry. Of course, you’re not. I just meant that I’m not ready for you yet.”

Not ready in what way? She was afraid to ask. “Do you want me to come back later?”

“No. I mean, I’m just wrapping up a meeting. Come on in.”

Nick stepped back, opening the door wider. Maura walked by him into the living room. A young woman in jeans and a T-shirt sprang off the couch, her blond ponytail bobbing.

Maura took a step backward. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting anything—”

“No!” Nick and the blond spoke at once.

Nick cleared his throat. “No, really, everything's fine. Maura, this is Lainie Waters, our new youth director.” He motioned with his hand between the two women. “Lainie, this is Maura. I told you about her.”

Maura snapped her head in Nick's direction. What exactly did he tell this woman about her? More important, why did he feel the need to tell her anything?

Lainie bounded forward, doing a little dance around the coffee table, her hand extended. “So nice to meet you, Maura.”

Not wanting to be impolite, Maura took her hand. “Likewise.”

“Don’t worry, I was just on my way out. We were having a meeting about the youth group, and by we I mean Pastor Nick, Pastor Chris, and I. Have you met Pastor Chris? He's the associate pastor at Faith. Great guy. He was here the whole time, but he had to leave about five minutes ago to get to another appointment. You just missed him.”

Maura wondered how there could be any air left in the room by the time Lainie finished. And she was still pumping away at Maura's arm.