Read The Perfect Christian Online
Authors: E. N. Joy
The Perfect Christian (2 page)
Chapter Two
“Stop acting like a fool!” Paige scolded herself in the bathroom mirror. She was acting a ridiculous mess if she didn't say so herself. She thought she could do this. She thought she could stand up as Mother Doreen's bridesmaids without getting all emotional, but she was failing miserably.
Paige had been a basket case ever since walking into the church and seeing all the wedding décor. She'd held up during the wedding shower and the rehearsal dinner, but actually walking into the wedding-ready church had just set off something inside of her. Memories flooded her mind; memories of what could have been. Noâmemories of what should have been.
The memories of her own wedding day should have brought nothing but tears of joy to her eyes, but instead, they were tears of hurt and pain. “She slept with Blake on the morning of our wedding. How am I supposed to ever get over that?” Paige asked her reflection in the mirror. “I can forgive, but how do I forget what I'm forgiving ?” Paige wondered why God had granted Himself a sea of forgetfulness but not man; not when it came to things so painful and hurtful anyway. Birthdays, anniversaries, doctors appointmentsâyeah, those were easy to forget. But what about the stuff people wanted to forget? It just didn't seem fair.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “This isn't about you, Paige. Get it together.” And on that note, she grabbed some tissue and began blotting away her tears, leaving bags underneath her eyes. If her skin wasn't so dark, the bags probably would have been red. That beautiful deep chocolate skin she wasn't so sure she admired as a child she was now grateful for.
Opening her eyes, she let out a deep breath and smiled at herself in the mirror. The deep pits in her cheeks referred to as dimples nearly sunk in her face. “Okay, now you're trying too hard. Just be yourself.”
Paige turned on the water and wet her hands. She then wiped away some of the tissue that had gotten stuck to her face. Looking at herself one last time in the mirror, she willed herself not to cry again; that is, unless they were complete and utterly tears of happiness.
Unbeknownst to everyone else, most of the tears Paige had shed thus far had been tears of hurt and pain. Walking into the church this morning had been like walking in on her own self-given surprise pity party. She had no idea all the hurt would come flowing back like salmon down a stream. But it had, and the future was too brightâway too brightâto let the past get the best of her, especially when today was supposed to be about Mother Doreen anyway.
“God, I thank you for who you made me to be,” Paige prayed. “Thank you that what I might have seen as pain and suffering I can now count it all joy. I'm so glad that you know me better than I know myself. I'm so glad that I have a Father in heaven that cares so much about me that He even knows how many hairs are upon my head. So thank you for loving me, God, and never failing me, even when man did. Hallelujah.”
Feeling brand new, rejuvenated, and restored, Paige opened the bathroom door and headed through the kitchen, making her way back to the dressing room. With a smile on her face, she thanked God again for showing up and pulling her out of her rut. Within moments, though, she'd have the devil to thank for showing up and pulling her down into a pit.
“Paige?”
Paige stopped in her tracks. She knew the voice, the voice that had just called out her name.
“Sister Paige, there you are.” Unique sounded like she was almost out of breath. Rightfully so, considering she'd just made a speedy beeline to the kitchen.
Figuring her mind must have been playing tricks on her, Paige shook her head and kept walking toward the kitchen exit. Unique stood panting in the kitchen doorway. Unique had one hand on her chest as she inhaled and exhaled like she'd just run a marathon. Suddenly, Deborah appeared behind Unique, nearly smashing right into the back of Unique.
“Oh, you found herâgood,” Deborah exclaimed, just as out of breath as Unique was.
Paige put her hands on her hips and looked back and forth between the two women. “What in the world? You two are acting like there's a fire somewhere and you're running to go try to put it out.”
Both Deborah and Unique gave each other knowing looks. Then Unique spoke. “Uh, no fireâno fire at all.”
“Thank God,” Deborah mumbled under her breath with her head down.
“Anyway,” Unique said, walking over to Paige and looping her arm through Paige's, “let's go get your makeup done.” Unique began escorting Paige out of the kitchen as if her life depended on it.
“Well, dang, I must be a tore-up, five-alarm fire with the way y'all acting,” Paige huffed.
“Oh no, it's not that,” Unique assured her. “We just want to make sure everybody's ready is all.”
“Good, 'cause y'all had me worried there for a minute thinkingâ”
“Paige?”
Yet again, Paige stopped in her tracks. Once more, she'd heard a voice that she thought she recognized call out her name. Just like before, it had sounded like the voice was coming from behind her, but then Unique had showed up in front of her. All this had led Paige to believe that her mind was playing tricks on her. Was it? Was this entire wedding thing and thinking about the past making her go crazy? She reminded herself that God's Word said He'd given her a sound mind, so she shook her headâshe shook it offâthe voice. With Unique's persistent urging that consisted of the pulling of her arm, Paige continued her exit.
“Paige, is that you? It's me, Tamarra.”
For the final time Paige stopped in her tracks. Deborah, who had been a step or two in front of Unique and Paige turned around. She was the first to see the owner of the voice: Tamarra. Unique didn't want to believe it was really her, not after they'd been so close to getting Paige out of that kitchen without incident. But the look on Deborah's face told her otherwise. Deborah nodding her head confirmed it even more so.
“Come on now, Sister Paige, you can catch up with old friends later. Right now, we've got to get your face all did up,” Unique said as she pulled on Paige in an attempt to continue their trek to the dressing room. It was to no avail, though. Unique's little self had nothing on Paige's full-figured self.
Not too long ago Paige had gotten down to a size twelve, pushing for a ten, but the final stages of her weight loss had been drastic and unhealthy caused by stress. Once she began to put the pieces of her life back together, it included a few pieces of pizza and a couple pieces of pie as well. But knowing she had diabetes, she got back on track and was now maintaining a size fourteen, fluctuating to a size sixteen every now and then. Of course, this didn't do Unique any good. She couldn't budge Paige.
Ignoring Unique's pleas, Paige slowly turned around. There she had itâproof that her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her at all. The voice she thought she'd heard, oh, she'd heard it all right. There stood the proof right in front of herâTamarraâher former best friend.
“You look good,” Tamarra complimented Paige. “Real good.”
Paige just stood there saying nothing.
“And it's good seeing you.” A smile rested on Tamarra's face. She was truly being sincere. She missed her best friend; that much was evident as sadness and tears began to form in her eyes.
Still, Paige said nothing and did nothing.
“Well, I guess I better get back to setting up.” Tamarra looked around the kitchen. “It feels good being back at New Day as well. Even if it is only in the kitchen instead of sitting in the sanctuary as a member of the congregation. Lots of memories though.” Tamarra continued to look around. “Lots and lots of memories.” She sighed, remembering the day she decided to leave the church, which had nothing to do with her incident with Paige. She had been engaged to a member of New Day. When things didn't work out with him and he got together with another member of the church, she knew she couldn't hang around for the drama.
What exactly was going through Paige's mind, nobody knewâthat was, until a few words were exchanged between the two former best friends and then . . .
Try as she might, everything in Paige wanted to be like Jill Scott's character in Tyler Perry's
Why Did I Get Married?
When Jill Scott ran into the woman who used to be her former best friend but had slept with her husband, all Jill said to her was “I'm gonna pray for you.” And that's all Paige wanted to say to Tamarra. But unfortunately, her actions spoke louder than words, because before anybody even had a chance to see it coming, the two women were brawling, and Paige had handfuls of Tamarra's hair in each of her fists. Paige hoped God was good at math, because if He knew how many hairs were on Tamarra's head just a second ago, He'd have to do some quick subtraction to figure out how many were left now.
Why Did I Get Married?
When Jill Scott ran into the woman who used to be her former best friend but had slept with her husband, all Jill said to her was “I'm gonna pray for you.” And that's all Paige wanted to say to Tamarra. But unfortunately, her actions spoke louder than words, because before anybody even had a chance to see it coming, the two women were brawling, and Paige had handfuls of Tamarra's hair in each of her fists. Paige hoped God was good at math, because if He knew how many hairs were on Tamarra's head just a second ago, He'd have to do some quick subtraction to figure out how many were left now.
Chapter Three
“As God is my witness, I did not throw the first blow,” Paige declared to Mother Doreen as she sat in the dressing room covered in wedding cake.
It took a minute or two, but both Unique and Deborah had managed to separate the fighting divas, better known as Paige and Tamarra. It had been nothing but bad luck though, and timing perhaps, that when they were finally able to pull Paige off of Tamarra, the wedding cake was being carted into the kitchen by a couple of Tamarra's employees.
Unique and Deborah had been tugging and pulling on Paige, desperately trying to get her off of Tamarra, who squirmed, kicked, and fought underneath Paige on the floor. At first it had been all in vain. Paige had the strength of a madman that her friends couldn't seem to overpower.
Finally, Unique had managed to get a pretty good grip around Paige's waist. Deborah, in turn, got a grip around Unique's waist. On Unique's countdown of, “One, two, three . . .” both women pulled as if their lives depended on it. Fortunately, this had worked. In one huge pull from Unique and Deborah, Paige lost her grip on Tamarra. Unfortunately, though, upon the sudden release, the three women went flying backward in sort of a spin, slamming into the cake. Paige bore the bulk of the mess.
“Not only is God my witness, but so are Sister Deborah and Unique.” Paige looked at them for support. Support was not what she was about to get thoughânot from those two.
“My dress,” is all Deborah could say as she looked down at the streak of icing going down the front. “My beautiful dress.” She then looked up at Paige. “Your dress . . . and your hair.”
Paige ran one of her hands through her hair. She then looked at her hand covered with smushed lilac rose made of icing.
“Forget about your dress and her hair.” Unique nodded from Deborah to Paige. She then nodded to Mother Doreen. “What about her cake?”
Mother Doreen just shook her head, and then buried her face in her hands.
“No, no, no. Don't do that!” Unique ran over to Mother Doreen and pulled her hands from her face. “You're gonna mess up your makeup.”
“Oh, who cares about the makeup?” Mother Doreen threw her hands up. “This is a sign. All this.” She swooshed her hands toward the three other women in the room who were wearing traces of her wedding cake. “I knew it. I knew it was trouble to marry Wallace in the first place. All this is just God's way of showing me the disasters to come if I go through with it.”
“Nonsense,” Deborah commented, walking over to Mother Doreen. “You know just as well as I do that this doesn't have anything to do with God . . .” She shot Paige an evil glare, “. . . and everything to do with the devil.”
“So are you trying to say this is all my fault?” Paige asked. “Even worse, are you trying to call me the devil? Because you know doggone well that Tamarra hit me first. Me pulling out her hair was just a natural instinct.”
“There ain't nothing natural about that kind of instinct being in a Christian,” Mother Doreen reasoned.
“Oh, well, forgive me.” Paige threw up her hands and rolled her eyes sarcastically. “I guess you're just the perfect Christian,” she said to Mother Doreen.
“No, honey, I'm far from it,” Mother Doreen assured her, shaking her head. “But over the years, as you become transformed, those worldly instincts don't become so natural anymore.”
Paige exhaled a relenting sigh. “I know you're right, Mother Doreen.” Her tone was apologetic. “If Jesus had had those types of so-called natural instincts, He would have kicked some major booty on His way to Calvary with that cross. I'm sorry, Mother Doreen. I'm sorry for that uncalled for comment, and I'm sorry for ruining your day . . .” She looked down at her dress and over at Deborah's. “. . . and I'm sorry for ruining our gowns.” She pointed to the kitchen and started to whine. “And for ruining your cakkkkkke.”
“Oh, now, now.” Mother Doreen stepped toward Paige in order to try to comfort her, but Unique put her arm out to stop Mother Doreen.
“Unless you want to walk down the aisle with smears of lilac icing roses on your dress, I suggest you allow your words to speak louder than your actions today,” Unique suggested.
“Oh, I'm not walking down any aisle,” Mother Doreen said. “I'd probably slip, fall, and break my neck doing it. No, siree; God ain't got to give me no more signs.”
“Please don't talk like that, Mother Doreen,” Paige pleaded. “What I did doesn't have anything to do with God and everything to do with the flesh of two people who call themselves a Christian but acted nothing like Christ.” Paige continued. “No, I may not have thrown the first physical blow, but I sure enough threw the first verbal one.”
“Yes, you did,” Unique confirmed, nodding as she stood there now with her arms folded across her chest. “I mean, I probably would have swung on you too if you had called me a âfornicating, adulterous, sleazy fake-whore who can't keep a man of your own, so your stuff must not be that good anyway.'”
Deborah eased over and whispered into Unique's ear. “Uh, did you really have to repeat all that?”
“I'm just sayin',” Unique said.
Mother Doreen had a look of shock on her face as she said to Paige, “You said
all
that to that woman?”
all
that to that woman?”
Unique butted in and answered for Paige. “She sure did, and that was
after
Sister Tamarra was trying to be cordial, saying nothing but nice things about Sister Paige.”
after
Sister Tamarra was trying to be cordial, saying nothing but nice things about Sister Paige.”
Paige took a deep breath and tried to ignore Unique's interference. “Yes, I did say all that, Mother Doreen.” She shot Unique a cutting look, then turned her attention back to Mother Doreen. She opened her mouth to further explain, but the voice that was heard belonged to Unique.
“I guess one could say those were fighting words Sister Paige spit out, because the next thing anybody knew, Tamarra had swung on Sister Paige and got her right upside the head,” Unique said. “That's why that bun that was on top of her head is on the side now.” Everyone looked at Paige's crooked bun as she attempted to adjust it. “I know Sister Paige saw stars, because there was power behind that lick. I heard the wind when Tamarra's fist was en route and the thud when it landed.”
Mother Doreen looked at Paige. “And I guess you just had to hit her back. Couldn't just walk away and come get your makeup done, huh?”
“Oh, Sister Paige didn't just hit her,” Unique explained. “She took her fists and locked them down on Tamarra's hair. In Paige's defense, though, it looked like she was just trying to pull Sister Tamarra off of her by her hair, not actually rip her hair out; which she ended up doing anyway once the two reversed positions and Paige ended up on top of Tamarra. But even when we did manage to separate the two, Sister Paige did try to lunge at her again butâ”
“Look.” Paige pointed an accusing finger in Unique's face. “I know Sister Tamarra is your boss and all, partner or whatever, butâ”
“But, I'm not her,” Unique spat, staring at Paige's finger, “so you might want to get that finger out of my face.”
“And if I don't?” Paige placed her hands on her hips.
Unique became agitated and began pacing. “Oooh, Holy Spirit, kick in and hold me back.”
“Girl, you can take that ghetto mess back to the projects from which it came,” Paige seethed. “'Cause I am not about to go there with you. I wasn't trying to go there with Tamarraâ”
“Oh, but like I said, I'm not Tamarra,” Unique reminded Paige. “I don't care nothing about getting my hair snatched off. Matter of fact, I'll do it myself.” With quickness, Unique snatched her long weave clip-on ponytail from her head. All that was left was a little nub of hair in a rubber band sitting on top of her head.
Initially everyone just stood there and looked at Unique like she was a nutcase, but then Deborah couldn't help it as laughter exploded from her throat. She could hardly contain herself as she laughed while pointing at Unique's nub of hair.
Before Paige knew it, she was chuckling too. Even Mother Doreen, as cool, calm, and collected as she'd tried to remain, couldn't help but laugh. Unique turned and caught her reflection in the mirror and couldn't even hold in her own laughter.
“Oooh, Sister Paige, you are right; this is a ghetto mess,” Unique laughed.
In a matter of seconds, all four women were bent over laughing. They each knew that they had to laugh to keep from crying. This was not how Mother Doreen's wedding day was supposed to have gone.
“Oh, girl, I'm sorry for snapping off on you,” Unique apologized to Paige.
“Yeah, me too.” Paige returned the apology.
“And I'm sorry for not even thinking when I took Sister Paige to the kitchen,” Deborah apologized.
“Well, now that we're all sorry, that still doesn't fix the fact that our dresses are a mess and Mother Doreen doesn't have a wedding cake.” Paige's comment put a damper on things.
“Not to worry,” Unique said, shaking a pointed finger. “Those satin dresses are so slick, between that and those little wipey things I have that I purchased from Amway, I'm sure we can clean them off.”
“What about the cake?” Deborah asked. “What's a wedding with no wedding cake?”
“Not to worry about that either,” Unique assured them. “That groom's cake Mother Doreen had us do up for Pastor Frey will do just fine once we add that beautiful cake topper. We even made some little individual cupcakes with the leftover batter that we thought the kids might enjoy. I'll wing it into something beautiful, I promise.” Unique sounded so upbeat and convincing, she left very little room to doubt that, in spite of things, the wedding could still go off without a hitch.
Unique went over to her travel bag and purse and started pulling out things. “And we need to fix that hair of yours back up, Sister Paige, and get that icing out of it. I need to touch up y'all's makeup and do Sister Paige's face.” Unique rambled on while the other women just watched her go nonstop. “Don't just stand there. Let's get busy,” Unique ordered once she realized she was the only one moving about.
While Deborah and Paige hurried over to Unique and the three began their efforts of getting things back in order, they noticed Mother Doreen still hadn't budged.
“Oh my goodness, Mother Doreen. How could I forget about the bride?” Unique apologized. She walked over to Mother Doreen and took her hands into hers. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
Mother Doreen gave off a half smile and a nod. “Yes, as a matter of fact, you can. You can go out there and tell everybody that the wedding is off.”
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