The Perfect Murder (38 page)

"What are we doing?" she asked as he parked. "Why are we stopping here?"

"We need to buy something."

"Gum? Film? Shaving cream?"

He opened his door and got out. "A pregnancy test."

Jane's hand froze on the latch. She wasn't ready to discover whether or not they had other big decisions to make. It felt as if she still had the option of sending Sebastian away, of going on with her life as though this week had never occurred.

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But if she took a pregnancy test and that pregnancy test was positive...what would they do? How would they handle it? "I don't know if this is such a good idea."

"You can wait here if you'd like."

"Sebastian--"

"I'll be right back."

She remained in the car, trying to imagine how she'd feel if she turned out to be pregnant. That was easy. She'd be scared. She was in her mid-forties. There were significant risks. And she'd never expected to have another child. But what if the test was negative?

Part of her would be disappointed; she couldn't deny that.

He held a small brown paper bag when he returned. He tossed it between them as he got in, and Jane eyed it as if it contained a snake. "Sebastian--"

"If you're not pregnant, we'll start using birth control," he said. "If you are, there'll be no need."

"You won't accept my advice and head back to New York no matter what it says. Why should I take it?" she countered.

"So I'll know whether to stop at my motel and get those condoms before I drive you home. It'll save you from having to deal with that Shield." Starting the car, he backed out of the parking space. "If we're going to deliver on our promise to take Kate ice-skating, we don't have much time."

He was worried about following through on a promise to her daughter? That was something she hadn't experienced in years--a pleasant something. "We just...we won't do it again," she said. "If we stay away from each other, we won't need birth control. And we won't need to know whether or not I'm pregnant. Not right away."

He gave her a look that told her he wasn't about to let her out of this. "I don't think staying away from each other is very realistic, do you?"

She rubbed her face. "Probably not," she sighed.

He drove across the street to the gas station. "There's the bathroom," he said and handed her the bag.

Butterflies swirled in Sebastian's stomach for the first time since he could remember. Was it really possible that in nine months he'd become a father again?

So much had changed. He'd lost Emily and Colton and Constance and all the momentum he'd achieved with his work. He no longer had the money he once did.

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He couldn't believe he was even thinking about having another child, let alone pacing outside a gas-station restroom in California while the woman he'd been sleeping with took a pregnancy test.

"Jane?" he called when he couldn't wait anymore.

She didn't answer, so he tapped on the door. "Hey! What does it say?"

Again, no answer. Did that mean what he thought it might? Or was it just that she hadn't finished or couldn't hear him? "Jane?" he called again.

Finally, the little sign that read Occupied disappeared as she turned the lock.

But she didn't come out. She opened the door a few inches and peered through the crack.

"What'd it say?"

Her chest rose as she took a deep breath. "It's negative."

"You're sure?"

She passed him the test strip. He didn't know what gray meant, but he didn't question it. He stared at it for a second; then he reached around to put it on the sink. "That's good, right?"

"I guess so. But despite everything, in a way, I'm disappointed."

He understood because in a way he was, too. Even with the risks involved.

Regardless of what anyone watching from the gas pumps might think if they saw him, Sebastian stepped into the woman's restroom and closed the door so he could draw her into his arms and kiss her gently. "It's okay."

"I know. It's just...this isn't only about whether or not we're having a baby."

He tilted up her chin. "Then what's it about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes." Her voice dropped. "I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with you."

Laughing at the hopelessness in her words, he kissed the tip of her nose. "I'm sorry that upsets you."

"You live in New York!"

"You're the one who keeps trying to send me back!"

"I still want you to go, if it'll keep you safe."

Feelings he hadn't experienced since before Colton's death began to simmer inside Sebastian, chasing all the negative events into the background. He was suddenly stronger, more like himself, so much happier. "I'm not going back. I'm staying here, with you."

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"But it's important that you go--at least until the police capture Malcolm."

"Trust me to take care of myself," he said. "Trust me to take care of you and Kate."

"It's
him
I don't trust," she argued.

"We'll come out of this. We'll be fine."

She laid her head on his shoulder. "How would you have reacted if there was a baby?" she asked. "Would it have scared you away?"

What kind of fickle asshole did she think he was? "Not at all. I'm forty-five, Jane, not twenty-five. I know what a baby means. I said I'd be happy, and that hasn't changed. I would've been okay with it, as long as you were."

"And how does the fact that there is no baby change the situation?" Her head came up. She was expecting him to tell her why he wasn't ready for a permanent relationship. He could tell. But that wasn't what he had to say.

Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her again. "It doesn't. I still want you."

"You're serious," she said, searching his face.

"Completely."

She smiled. Then she hugged him tighter and it was her turn to kiss him. She didn't ask any more questions. Apparently she was willing to let it go at that, and he was glad. He had no idea what he'd do about his job in New York, if he'd relocate or she would, if she'd mind that he'd spent all his money chasing Malcolm and would need time to rebuild. It was too soon to discuss any of the practical issues of how they'd be together. But they knew they wanted to be together. And for now, that was enough.

Jane could hardly believe that she'd found another man she cared about.

Sometimes she'd look up to find Sebastian watching her with such tenderness that a warm tingle would go through her. This was what she'd been missing.

This...contentment. She'd never really had it, certainly not with Oliver. He'd always been too selfish. Sebastian was different, mature, confident, willing to care for others. What she felt for him was so wonderful it frightened her--because she was afraid it wouldn't last. Good things seldom did. She had a bone-deep conviction that she wasn't meant to be so happy, didn't deserve it. And if she ever forgot that, she didn't have to go far to be reminded. She knew how Wendy would react to the news....

272

"Mom, you watching?" Kate called.

"You're doing great, honey!" Jane smiled and waved at her daughter, circling the ice with Sebastian. Although Jane had gone skating quite often in her early teens, it was Kate's first time. She seemed a bit shaky but she was enjoying herself...and enjoying all the attention Sebastian was lavishing on her.

Jane went to the restroom, which was why she'd gotten off the ice. She was on her way back to the rink when her cell phone rang. It'd been so long since she'd skated that she wasn't much steadier than Kate was, so she answered before stepping onto the ice.

Caller ID showed it was Skye. "Hello?"

"Jane? Hi!"

Leaning against the railing, Jane searched the crowd for Sebastian and Kate.

"How are you?"

"Better. We've found the child we were looking for."

"That's wonderful news! How'd you do it?"

"A relative of the father, a cousin. They got into an argument, so the cousin finally came forward."

"What was the argument about?"

"Dishes," she said with a laugh. "They were living together, and it wasn't working out too well."

"Lucky for you. So are you coming home soon?"

"We're flying out tomorrow. I can't wait. I'm so homesick for my family I can't stand it."

"I know they'll be glad to see you."

"How's everything going?"

Kate took a spill, but it wasn't a hard fall and Sebastian helped her up. "At the office?" she asked.

"At home, too. It seems like forever since we've had a chance to talk."

Jane considered everything she had to tell. Where did she start? The case?

No, she'd save that until Skye got home. She didn't want to focus on Malcolm; she was more interested in talking about the positive developments in her life. "I've met someone," she said.

"You have? Wow, this is a first. I haven't even been able to get you to go out on a date. Who is it?" The excitement in Skye's voice brought a smile to Jane's face.

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"An investment banker from New York."

"Where'd you meet him?"

"At the office."

"He's a client?"

"More of a...volunteer."

"He sounds interesting."

"He's...
special."

"Special is good. It's better than I ever expected to hear from you. How long have you known him?" she asked.

"Only a week. But we've spent nearly every minute together."

"No kidding? Have you introduced him to Kate?"

Kate was the litmus test, and Skye knew it. "Yes. We're ice-skating right now."

"Damn, why does everything happen when I leave?" she complained with a laugh. "I'm looking forward to meeting him."

"When you're back."

"We'll be there on Monday. I doubt we'll be in the office much for the first few days, probably just long enough to go through our messages, but at least we'll get to say hello. I was thinking it might be smart to have a short meeting. Sheridan said she'd bring her baby so we could see him again, and we can get caught up and sort of plan out the week."

"I'll be there. What time?"

"How about four o'clock?"

"Four it is. I'll see you then. Have a safe--"

"Jane?" she cut in.

"Yeah?"

"It's
great
to hear you sound so happy."

"It's great to feel this happy," she said and hung up just as Sebastian and Kate came to a stop on the rink in front of her.

"Hey, you getting back on?" he asked.

"Of course."

They waited for her at the opening, each holding out a hand to help her onto the ice. "Who were you talking to, Mama?" Kate asked.

"Skye."

Sebastian steadied her as they started off. "She still out of town?"

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"She's coming home tomorrow."

"Are you going to tell her you worked on your first case?" Kate asked.

"I will. I wish I could also tell her we have the bad guy behind bars, but..."

"You'll get to say that soon," Kate said.

Jane exchanged a glance with Sebastian. "You bet I will."

275

Twenty-Six

M
alcolm spent most of Saturday and all morning Sunday studying The Last Stand's Web site. They had a feature that allowed someone interested in getting help to petition--anonymously--for information. The charity catered to abused women and children, for the most part, so he imagined this was a way to make a woman who didn't know how to escape her situation feel safe enough to ask about her options.

It was a really nice idea.

It might also be the perfect means to ensure that Jane would be at the office tomorrow afternoon. At least it was worth writing in to see who responded....

Clicking on the
I Have a Question
link, he waited for the form to come up, then began to type.

My husband gets very violent, especially when he drinks. He hits me--he broke my nose last week. Sometimes he even hits or kicks our children. I have to do something, for their sake. But if I get him in trouble, he'll kill me. He told me so when I went to his sister. I'm afraid he'll really go through with it! Is there any way I could make an appointment to see someone about getting help? My husband is out of town tomorrow. I could come in at six, if anyone will be available. I apologize for the inconvenience. I don't want to be a bother. I just don't know where else to turn.

He didn't make up a name to sign the message with. He figured it would be just as believable without one.

After he'd sent it, he watched some television, called his bookie to see if he could place another bet, was refused because he hadn't paid for the last few and began to pace. If he'd thought living alone in that ranch house was stifling, this was even worse. He felt so cooped up, so...limited.

His life was shit. Why was he putting up with that?

Cursing, he decided to head to Stockton Boulevard. It'd been a long time since he'd played at the "prostitute bribes undercover cop" fantasy. Maybe if he 276

could find a black woman who was young and pretty, like Latisha, he'd be able to pretend it was her....

"Would you and Kate like to come to dinner?"

Switching her cell phone to the other ear, Jane hesitated at her mother-in-law's offer. She, Sebastian and Kate were at the kitchen table. They'd been playing board games for most of the weekend. She got the impression it was the first time Sebastian had forgotten about chasing Malcolm in a long, long while. She enjoyed seeing him relax, hearing him laugh. She'd prefer to spend the rest of their Sunday as they'd spent it so far--just the three of them--but she'd been busy lately, consumed by work, and her in-laws had been so good, helping with Kate whenever she needed them. She figured she could at least
ask
if Sebastian would like to go.

Covering the mouthpiece, she whispered to him. "Kate's grandma is inviting us over for dinner. Any chance you'd be interested?"

"Can she cook?" he teased.

"She's a
really
good cook!" Kate told him.

He winked. "Then I'm in. I never turn down a home-cooked meal."

Remembering the lasagna he'd paid her to make, Jane smiled and returned to her conversation. "We have someone visiting us who's hankering for some old-fashioned home cooking. Is it okay if we bring him along?"