The Persistence of Memories - A Novel of the Mendaihu Universe (49 page)

Kai watched him with sympathetic eyes from
her perch. “He's leveling the playing field,” she said. “For both
sides.”

“The playing fields don’t look all that level
to me,” he said with barely held restraint.

“Look at it from their side, Alix,” Kai
reminded him. “There are Shenaihu nuhm'ndah that are equally as
lost. Not everyone here is cho-nyhndah.”

Poe stopped in his place, suddenly ashamed.
She was right, and he’d forgotten so easily. “Nyhnd’aladh, Akaina.
I just…”

Kai nodded, and flashed a grin at him. She
knew him too well already. “Say it, Poe.”

He waved a hand in the air at how stupid he
felt, at how idiotic this situation was. “We’ve all been falling
into this downward spiral each and every time, going from
reactionary to acceptance to inevitability to defeat. It's like
we're pawns. All of us, Mendaihu and Shenaihu alike. And that’s
what’s pissing me off.”

“With Denysia and Saisshalé as the key
players,” Kai added, and shivered. “This is Denni's game, not
ours.”

Poe nodded. “This is what I've been trying to
avoid thinking about all this time…but it makes sense. Everything
that's happened since the failed Ascension. Saisshalé's attacks and
the graffiti. All of us suddenly finding our place in this. Even
Matthew's arrest. It
is
a game, Kai. Too many coincidences
lately, you know? Too many for comfort.”

“I know,” Kai said quietly.

“And Farraway getting us all trained and
ready for a spiritual war that may or may not happen? He
knew
something was up back in September, the very first day
he threw the four of us on this case! It's damn frustrating, Kai,
being used like that.”

“I know,” she repeated.

“Hell...” He wanted to continue but all the
fire had gone out of him, leaving him tired and thirsty. He sat
back down next to her. He reached out and touched her shoulder,
fingers sliding through her long black hair. He caressed the bare
skin underneath, sensing the subtle electricity within her spirit
as he did so. He moved closer and kissed her on the cheek.

“I'm sorry,” he said. “I didn't mean to vent
on you just then.”

“It's okay,” Kai said, and smiled at him.
“You made a perfectly valid point. Governor Rieflin shouldn't have
acted as he did, shutting down the ESD and blocking all the access.
He's under the false assumption that if neither team has the
advantage...”

“...neither team will cause that much
damage,” he said with a shrug. “You have to admit, he makes a good
politician.”

Kai laughed. “True enough.”

They continued to sit in silence for a good
twenty minutes or so, getting some distance between themselves and
this little outburst, and generally enjoying what little time they
had left together tonight. Poe would have to leave soon, head back
to his apartment and practice his latest Mendaihu lesson before it
got too late in the evening. Kai had to return as well, meeting
Ashan at ARU Headquarters for a late meeting. Poe, having learned
of this earlier, chose not to ask what it was about. He was
curious, of course, but knew that it would just cause him more
stress if it had anything to do with Dark November. He just didn't
want to know until after the fact.

“Hey,” he said, nudging her slightly with his
shoulder.

“Hmm?” Kai turned and faced him, brows
lifted. She had the makings of a smile on her lips and a gleam in
her eyes.

“Sa’im shadha, cho-shadhisi,” he said. He
pushed his mouth up into a lopsided grin.

Kai beamed. “I know. Sa’im shadha,
cho-shadhisi.” She turned and looked back at the sprawl. He watched
her watching the city, smile still on her face, wind picking up and
pushing her locks back over her shoulder. She blinked once, twice,
at the breeze, but her gaze never wavered. He watched her Watching
the city, a hint of pride showing on her face. Pride that she was
doing so in the name of the One of All Sacred. Pride that she was
working with the Alien Relations Unit on a case which truly meant
something to her. Pride that she was doing so with someone she
loved dearly.

“Peace, Love and Light to you all,” she
whispered, directing the blessing out over the city.

“Peace, Love and Light to you all,” Poe
repeated, taking her hand. “Stay safe.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Trust

Caren stared into her coffee mug, absently
stirring its contents as she waited for Denni to return. It was
getting late, far too late for her to be out in her otherwhere.
She’d been gone for close to six hours. She was tempted to throw
out that gossamer thread and search for her. Some days she could
feel her presence, other days she could not. Those particular days
she had to rely more on her trust and her intuition rather than the
spirit link they shared. Even now, as she sat at the kitchen table
in their apartment, waiting patiently, she found herself hoping for
the best and fearing the worst.

Anando had left about an hour ago after
escorting her back to the apartment. He understood that she'd
rather be here upon Denni's arrival, having missed her for most of
the day. He could have stayed, at least for a little while, but she
knew he had his own responsibilities outside of their relationship.
It was just lonely here, without either of her anchors close
by.

She did honestly love him, but that nagging
question always remained when they were apart...
why?
Why did
she love him so deeply? He was her cho-shadhisi, her soul mate in
the most literal sense. They'd been together throughout the ages,
in one time and space and universe or another, forever connected by
their spirits in Peace, Love and Light. Yet she still found herself
questioning its legitimacy. She wanted to love him as herself, not
as fate commanded it! Perhaps this was the reason behind their
pairing in this life...she had to relearn how to truly love, to
truly trust...to truly have faith...

...and it was a daunting task and she didn't
have the courage to face it.

“Get home safe, Den,” she said to
herself.

The coffee in her cup had grown cold, and it
looked as though she would be staying up for a little while longer.
She got up, dumped out the old contents into the sink, and poured
herself a fresh cup. On the way back to the living room couch she
also grabbed a small bowl of fruit. Ever since she'd started her
Mendaihu training, she'd made a concerted effort to avoid the snack
foods she'd always bought and started eating healthy. She chose an
apple and was about to bite into it when she heard a knocking on
her door.

“At this time of night?” she mumbled. After a
cursory sensing, she got up and unbolted and opened the door.
Madeleine Jakes stood just outside the doorway, a wide smile on her
face and standing tall and proud, her walking cane looking more
like a piece of regal accoutrement than a medical aid.

“Good evening, Madeleine!” Caren said
happily. “Come on in! What brings you here so late?”

“Late night chores,” she said and stepped in,
hobbling slightly. She was trying not to put too much weight on her
prosthetic leg. “I sensed you were up and about, so I thought I'd
stop by. Where's Denni?”

“Out and away, I'm afraid,” she answered,
waving her hand in the air. Madeleine understood the gesture
immediately. “Care for some coffee?”

“I'd love some,” Madeleine said, and followed
her into the kitchen. “Denni's one determined girl. She's been
Lightwalking almost every other day, hasn't she?”

Caren tried to hide her frustration. “Seems
like it. Normally she comes back within an hour or two, or at least
sends out a thread to let me know she’s okay. This time she's been
gone for almost six.”

“And you can't sense her, can you?” she said.
“She's on Trisanda, isn't she?”

She nodded, frowning. “I know she's safe up
there...I just wish I knew for sure.”

Madeleine hummed in agreement as she sat down
at the kitchen table. “You have faith in her, that I know,” she
said, nodding as Caren placed a coffee mug before her. “It's proof
you need, right? Proof of a lot of things.”

Caren tried to hide a blush. “A
few
things, Madeleine. Everything else I give the benefit of the
doubt.”

“Yes, but that can only take you so far,” she
said, and sipped from her mug. “A little more sugar, if you don't
mind?”

Caren obliged and passed the sugar dispenser
her way. “Okay, I admit, I do need proof in my life. I mean, it
only makes sense, right? After Mum and Dad were killed, I became
obsessed in wanting to know
why
, and that just bled over
into everything else in my life. It's a credit to my job
performance, but in mundane life it's the bane of my existence. I
just don't know any other way anymore.”

“It's only human to search for the answers to
our existence, dear,” Madeleine said. “Or should I say, it's
Trisandi
to do as such. Believe me, you're not the only one
going through this right now. It's the curse of being awakened. Our
past, our memories, have been pushed to the forefront where we must
face them, whether we’re ready or not. You may be a Warrior and a
Protector, and you even have the dubious duty of being the sister
of the One. But in the grander scheme of things, you're just
another newly awakened Mendaihu with an uncertain future, just like
the rest of us.”

Caren grumbled and hid behind her mug.
“Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better,” she said.

“It wasn't meant to,” she smiled. “It was
meant to make you feel a little more
connected
to those
around you. This is the one problem we have each time, Caren. We're
all sleepers until someone wakes us up. But it’s up to each
individual to acknowledge that interconnection and use it.”

“My sehndayen-ne has made that notion quite
clear. But that still doesn't answer my questions.”

Madeleine slowly put the mug back down and
laid a hand on Caren's arm. “Dearest Karinna,” she said. “You don't
need
to have any questions answered. You trust Denysia, just
as you trust Alix and Ashyntoya and Akaina and Sheila and
Nicholas...the only person you do
not
trust is
yourself.”

Caren shivered. “I...”

Madeleine shook her head. “No, my dear. Do
not lie. Especially to yourself, because that is the easiest lie of
all. You have all the answers before you, just as you always have.
You know that you are Mendaihu. You know that you love Anando
Shalei with all your heart and soul. You know that your beloved
sister Denysia is the One of All Sacred, one of the most powerful
deities in the known universes. These are concrete facts, proof you
already have. You do not need to ask why...because you do not trust
your heart.”

“
Piann nyhndah nehko aladh imhsha
,”
Caren said. She took a deep wavering breath, and she felt the tears
coming. She chose not to fight them this time. “Goddess...you're
right, Madeleine. You're right, and so is Akaina.” She choked on
her sobs. “Damn it all! Why am I so afraid of my own spirit? I must
be afraid of death, Madeleine. Death! Can you believe it? What kind
of Mendaihu am I if I can't even live up to my birthright?”

Madeleine slowly rose from her chair and
comforted her. Caren wanted to push her away. Goddess, she felt so
stupid! She was strong, but she wasn’t perfect. She couldn't ignore
her emotions forever. She was
terrified
of death.

That is what you should be
questioning,
Madeleine said to her from within.
And you
should be reaching past that, Karinna. Never fear death...you will
only return again, another place, another time, your spirit
renewed. And Denysia, Anando, and everyone else will be right there
with you.

“I...”

“Shhh...” Madeleine soothed, arms wrapping
around her. She felt the woman's lips brush her temple, sending
tiny waves of love between them. “That is
your
quest,
Karinna,” she whispered. “You are about to become the greatest,
most fearless Warrior of the One that even She has ever seen. And I
know you can do it, because I've seen it before, in your past
lives. You are strong, Karinna. Believe in that.”

Caren honestly didn't know what to believe
anymore. “I’m so afraid,” she sobbed.

Madeleine sent another wave of love deep into
her heart. “I know,” she whispered. “We all are.”

She heard the slight snap of air just as she
was dozing off on the couch. It jerked her awake, and she was aware
and on her feet and ready to move within the span of three seconds.
Only then did she realize that Denni had finally returned, Amna in
tow. She heard whispering in the kitchen, a bit of giggling, and
the scuffling of feet. There was another giggle, one girl hushing
the other. Then she felt Denni's powerful presence sending out a
sensing tendril.

“Oh...” she said out loud. “She's awake.
Sorry, Caren!”

Caren smiled, utterly relieved. “Quite all
right,” she said, padding her way through the room. “Welcome
back.”

“Umm…what time is it?”

Caren turned and looked at the vidmat tacked
to the wall, its clock app blinking softly. “It's almost one in the
morning,” she said. “On a school night, I might add.”

Yet another giggle. “Oops!” That was Amna. “I
suppose I should go, then...”

“No, you can stay over,” Caren said. “I
called your parents to let them know.” She entered the kitchen, and
was surprised to see the two young teenage girls covered in dirt,
grass stains and soot. “Goddess, where the hell have you two been?”
she exclaimed. “You're filthy!”

Denni blushed. “Heh. Long story.”

She pointed to the hallway. “Wash up and get
changed. Then we'll talk.”

“Thanks, Caren!” Amna beamed, and gave her a
hug as she moved past. Denni started to head towards her room, got
as far as the doorframe, and turned back around. She faced Caren,
but did not say anything. She was smiling, but it was forced.