The Pillow Book of the Flower Samurai (14 page)

We stopped at a hut. Madam Hitomi opened the
sh
ō
ji
and said, ‘This is yours.’ In a back corner a
futon
hugged itself. A rough wooden clothes-tree postured against the wall, where she directed me to hang my beloved kimonos. A water jug sat on the floor, as empty as my spirit.

Everything was going to be different. Would I find a way to train with the samurai? I had seen a few when I came in. If not, I had my bow, my
bokken
and my warrior tools and I would practise by myself. I would.

She ordered me to follow her to Main House, which seemed a walk of several
ch
ō
. Inside, she slid open another
sh
ō
ji
to a room of such luxury that my hands flew to my mouth. A heavily carved table squatted on the mat-covered floor. Lamps and more lamps of many shapes stood like blind samurai – with only one lamp lit, the whole room was transformed into a field under murky clouds. In the darkness I heard cats call and hiss.

Madam Hitomi sat on a wide cushion with high pillows behind it. Her voice sounded like a draughty hut in winter winds as she said, ‘Let me look at you. This must be hard for you, but I know you will be obedient and do honour to me, your family and Proprietor Chiba no Tashiyori.’ I thought of Akio and honourable Hiroshi. I remembered to breathe, and I bowed.

‘Stand.’

I did.

Another woman, much smaller and younger, came in.

‘Ah,’ Madam Hitomi said. ‘Here is Rin. She is the
choj
ā
of my Women-for-Play. She likes to meet all the new girls.’

Rin approached and unwound my kimono’s ties. With one finger, she lifted my kimono off my shoulder. I stared at the green cloth and tie heaped on the floor. Next she pulled off my
kosode
.

Madam Hitomi opened my mouth, looked at my ears and eyes, then turned my head, arms and legs one way and another. She posed and asked if I could imitate her. I could. She made other postures, which I was to follow. She snorted after each one.

As I held each position, she ran her hands over my body as if she was petting one of the numerous cats that stalked the room. She scraped her knobbly fingers and long nails over my back, chest and legs.

‘Tell her to pretend to be a frog,’ Rin ordered.

When I squatted on the floor, Rin put her fingers inside me, in places for which I still had no name. She sniffed me at odd places, even between my legs. She yapped like a little dog, then smiled broadly.

‘Yes,’ Madam Hitomi said, sitting back on her pillows. ‘Good, I see Chiba has kept his word and protected you.’

‘From what?’

Rin goggled at me, then slapped my face. ‘You will not speak of such things again.’

I apologised and bowed.

‘From Daigoro no Goro,’ Madam Hitomi whispered.

‘Proprietor Chiba has moulded you well. You will do well for me here. Now dress yourself. Put away your grief. We are your new family.’

‘I agree. Welcome to our family,’ Rin said.

Her voice changed to a monotone and her eyes dulled. ‘Here you will become a beautiful flower worthy of great admiration. You are entering a profession to which I have belonged all my life. Do me and our profession honour.’

Honour. I again thought of honourable Hiroshi. My family. How brave to do as I should! Madam Hitomi took her fan and tapped me sharply on top of my head. ‘Tashiko will be your companion. Now go to your hut.’

Tashiko! After she had pointed, I went to my hut, singing Tashiko’s name in my mind. My companion. What did she mean by that? Tashiko. So Chiba had sent me to the same place. Tashiko and I would be together – with no Chiba. We could play Go. Perhaps dance together without beatings. Did they beat us here? I wondered if this was the surprise Akio had promised. If it really was Tashiko, it would be a magnificent surprise.

So lost in thought, I was not aware of my surroundings until I reached my little room.

BOOK 5

I. Surprises

Madam Hitomi hauled me to a long, plain building, which, like Lesser House, stood with a roofed
watadono
around it, raised two steps from the ground. As she turned a corner, the scents of horses, heavy incense and a nauseating smell I would soon learn was the tannery attacked me. No gardens, no ponds, no walking paths were visible.

Certainly my life was going to be different. Would I find a way to train with the samurai?

‘There.’ Madam Hitomi pointed with a long finger, which looked as if it had been dipped in blood, to a small hut, third from the right. She raised her eyebrows, or the place where her eyebrows had been. She had shaved them off. She charged away without a farewell. So much for the manners Chiba had taught.

No
sh
ō
ji
closed my new home, only a thin cloth curtain, flapping a heartbroken ‘hello’ with the hot breeze. I grabbed the knots of my
furoshiki
with both hands, comforted that its blue silk had touched Akio’s hands, and pulled it closer to my chest, feeling each bulky gift inside. I was to live . . . here. So many houses. All tiny. I was not sure Akio’s gifts would fit inside.

Outdoor shoes lined up along the bottom step to each
watadono
, whose wide roof showed many patches. I put my outdoor shoes with the others, remembering when I had received my older sister’s shoes, which had been much too big. Loneliness speared my chest.

The curtain to my room slipped between my fingers. I recognised Tashiko. She sat on a
futon
, her long hair draped past her knees, but her face was white.

What had happened to it? Had someone thrust her head into a barrel of rice flour? I could not believe she would allow them to change her like that.

‘I can hardly recognise you, Tashiko. Are you the same person?’ She had taught me about the
sutra
s, yet she had allowed others to manipulate her into making herself different.

She shrugged, then smiled. I was relieved to see her teeth were the same, natural, white as honeysuckle flowers, not blackened.

My life could be worse. At least I was not with the butchering and leather, and Tashiko was here. I would be able to talk to people. I could talk to people during the day. I would not have to wait until I saw Chiba. I would not see Chiba!

‘Kozaishō, little princess, I prayed we would be together.’ She had grown taller, prettier than I remembered. ‘My little house is only three west of yours.’

The sound of her breathy voice sang into my bones, my eyes splashed, the floor rolled beneath me as if in an earthquake. She swept me into her arms, bracing me before I fell. Her warm breasts crushed against me. I drew in the woody scent of her hair, swirled my fingers through its softness, soothed by her voice, calmed by her breathing.

A scream flew like an arrow through the walls and impaled its sharp point into me. I pulled back from Tashiko, trembling, quivering, gulping. The wailing continued, as if demons danced nearby. I dashed to the door and pulled back the curtain, but saw nothing.

Returning to the
futon
, Tashiko’s eyes had turned downwards. ‘As at the
sh
ō
en
, it is important to follow directions and orders.’

Another scream, this one higher, harsher, sending cold prickles down my legs, making my teeth sting. I held on to Tashiko, and she to me.

‘What is this? I am thrown from one demon to a fiercer one? What is this place?’

‘While Madam Hitomi does not leave marks like Proprietor Chiba, she is able to attain unthinkable pain and . . . more.’

‘What hell am I in?’

She motioned for me to sit. We both did. ‘This is a Village of Outcasts, owned by Madam Hitomi. Rich. Owns the tannery. The untouchables, the
eta
, their shacks and the tannery are far from here. Also owns many Women-for-Play, including me. Rin is the
ch
ō
ja
of the free Women-for-Play, but she advises Madam Hitomi.’

‘Advises?’

‘Meddles with . . . all.’ Tashiko raised one hand above her shoulder and her lips lifted.

‘How can you be content? Everything here is defiled!’

‘Not all. Some Women-for-Play.’

I blinked at her, wary of this and the new her.

‘The Women-for-Play sing and often dance. Some are skilled in other things, like musical instruments, or the
biwa
or pleasuring. That is what I aspire to.’

‘Pleasuring?’

‘Here, you learn about physical gratification.’

‘What is that?’

‘What men and women do together. Coupling.’

I wanted to pull her hair, but a breeze brought the smell of tanning animal skins. ‘Tashiko, in this village of the unclean, there cannot be any honour.’

‘No, Kozaishō. It is always honourable to serve as your master wishes.’

I sat up, ‘Have you been talking to Akio?’ That was what he had said to me on our travels from Chiba’s
sh
ō
en
to this place.

‘No. He serves Proprietor Chiba.’

‘That is what he always says. How can that be true?’

‘Obedience is honourable.’

‘Here in this place? Never.’

‘You do not understand, Kozaishō. Each level is honourable.’

‘Level?’

‘Four levels. First laundry, next cleaning, then attending to the Women-for-Play. That is what I do.’

‘You are third level. The fourth is . . .?’

‘Being a Woman-for-Play.’

‘Is that the most honourable?’

Her eyes said yes.

‘I do not understand, but I am glad to be with you.’ I stroked her hair, her downy chestnut hair. ‘See.’ I stroked my own thick mane. ‘My hair has grown too.’

That first night passed, short and long at the same time, as if two ends of a candle burned together. Tashiko held me and talked to me.

Later she slept in my arms. I, unused to the pathetic howls, did not, picturing or dreaming cunning devils or evil spirits.

The next night Tashiko slept beside me on the
futon
. And the next. It was only a matter of days before Tashiko exchanged huts to be beside mine.

Was this the surprise Akio arranged for me? Here in this nether world, complete with another Proprietor Chiba, but one who did not leave scars, I needed a good surprise to help me sleep through the screams.

Madam Hitomi directed her girls as cautiously as my mother managed our winter food. New girls stayed away from the Special Houses, as distant as the earth from the sun. The distance worked to my advantage: I had thought about slipping away with Tashiko. Madam Hitomi assigned small duties on those first days, under close supervision, perhaps afraid that I would run.

I planned to escape, I wanted to, but my father had sold me to Chiba, and I had belonged to him. He could do with me whatever he wished. So that I did not think about leaving, I recalled my father’s words, ‘All our souls belong to our family’s honour’, and reminded myself of Akio’s story, ‘Honourable Hiroshi’.

My life needed to bring honour to my family. Running away would be dishonourable, unthinkable, even from this Village of Outcasts with its tannery and hovels of the untouchables, those disgusting
eta
. Each time the tainted odours of dead animals and excrement arrived on a breeze, I had to remind myself again about my family honour.

My only satisfaction lay in being with Tashiko, and the only honourable path lay in obeying a new master, no matter how much I came to detest her.

As a new girl I cared for the laundry. First level, the lowest. Going out to the sheds my first day at the Hour of the Dragon well after dawn, I saw him – strutting from the shed – Akio, my Akio, dressed for the hunt. I made a quick bow, not to show the disbelief on my face. What was he doing here?

He came towards me. ‘Kozaishō.’ His arms flew up to the sky, as did the corners of his eyes and mouth. ‘I am your surprise.’

‘I thought Tashiko was my surprise. How . . . When?’ My head floated off my neck, and my eyes saw nothing but Akio’s face, all else a thick mist. ‘Does Proprietor Chiba know?’

‘Naturally. I had his knowledge and the permission of Taira no Michimori, the Echizen governor.’

‘Who is that? Why do you need a governor’s permission?’ I had heard that name before. I searched my memory.