The P.J. Stone Gates Trilogy (#1-3) (43 page)

“He deserves to know,” Jeremy stated firmly.

“No he doesn’t,” I said between clenched teeth as I gripped the sides of the sink and met my own eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “He walked away from me, and I’m not going to be one of those pathetic girls who uses a pregnancy to force her ex to get back with her.” I flicked my gaze to both Jenna and Jeremy’s in the mirror. “He either wants me or he doesn’t.” Silence enveloped the bathroom and I gulped down the bile that rose up in my throat. “Promise me,” I whispered. “Just promise me,” I said again with a little bit more force.

“I promise,” Jenna immediately responded, but Jeremy remained silent.

“Jeremy, please. Be my friend like you said you were going to be.” I turned to look him directly in the eyes but he turned his head. “Please,” I rasped.

“Jeremy, just promise her,” Jenna growled.

“I can’t,” he mumbled. “I just can’t. He has the right to know.”

Desperate for a way to at least stall him from telling Bryn, I grasped at straws. “At least wait. Give me some time. Let what’s going to play out, play out.”

“But it could make a difference in what he decides.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed with exasperation. “And I don’t want it to! I need for him to decide about me without this influencing him!”

“So you would risk him and you mating to other dragons when you could prevent it—”

“It’s not that simple,” I interjected before he could finish. “I want him to be with me for me and no other reason. I love him too much for anything less. I would always wonder if he was only with me because of the child.” Most girls if faced with my situation would use the pregnancy to win Bryn back, but not me. I’d never been normal. Besides what if finding out I was pregnant with his child had the opposite effect? He was already willing to let me mate with Khol because he thought he wasn’t strong enough to protect me, how would he feel if he knew it wouldn’t just be me he was protecting anymore?

Jeremy shifted uncomfortably under my and Jenna’s stares. “Fine.” He finally caved. “I won’t go and just tell him, but if he asks—”

“Why would he ask?” Jenna snapped. “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“I’ll take it,” I said on an exhale of relief. It may not have been exactly what I wanted, but it was close enough, at least for the time being. Besides Jenna was right, I doubted Bryn would ever ask anyone in passing if I was pregnant, especially Jeremy. “Now”—I turned towards the door on shaky legs—“I need to go lay down for awhile or something. This is all just—too much.”

“We’ll help you,” Jenna said with a false cheer to her voice. I could tell she was just as much in shock as I was. I was the responsible one after all. Well, at least I used to be. I always thought that if one of us got pregnant, it would be her.

I opened the door to find Khol standing on the other side with a wild look in his eyes. He reached out and snatched me up into his arms before I could even blink and the next thing I knew we were in another room . . . not mine . . . but his. “I guess you know?” I mumbled, already knowing the answer. Of course he would have picked up the information through our connection.
Duh
.

He set me down on his bed gingerly as if I might break. “It could be mine.”

I rolled my eyes.
Men
. “No, it can’t. Jeremy, who happens to be an energy reader extraordinaire, says that I’m not far enough along for it to possibly be yours.”

“The gestation period of a dragon is different than a human’s.”

I squeezed my eyes together tightly. “Of course it is.” And of course, Jeremy wouldn’t know that, just like I wouldn’t.

“You being half dragon, and me being full-blooded, if it was mine, the pregnancy would progress more slowly despite you being part human because the child would be mostly dragon. I would imagine if it were Bryn’s, then the pregnancy would happen more along the human time line.”

“So what you’re telling me,” I said with my eyes still closed, “is that the child I’m carrying could be either of yours?”

“Yes,” Khol grunted. I could tell he wasn’t any more pleased with the situation than I was.

“Maybe I just shouldn’t have it,” I whispered more to myself than him.

He responded with a low growl that bounced off the walls and made me cringe away from him as I squinched my eyes closed even tighter. “You will not end your pregnancy no matter who the father is.”

My eyes snapped open as anger began to boil my blood. Who was he to tell me what to do with
my
body? “Why not?” I glared into his angry glowing eyes that burned brighter than any high beams I’d ever seen. “It’s
my
body and
my
choice.”

He leaned into me and took me by the shoulders, another growl erupting from his chest. “It could be
my
child, and therefore
I
have a say.”

“No—you don’t. Especially if it’s yours. What happened between us, even though I technically accepted it . . . it was about as close to rape without actually being rape as it could be.” It was a tad more complicated than that, but I wanted to hurt him, and that was a sure fire way to do it.

“Please,” his face softened to show the pain that was really fueling his anger. “I will take care of you . . . and the child . . . no matter who the father is. I will love you and the baby until the end of time.” I’d never seen Khol look so vulnerable before. I could see in his face exactly how much he wanted me . . . and my child for his own. I knew in that moment that he would do exactly what he promised . . . unlike Bryn . . . and he would never walk away from me. Maybe the best choice for me, and my child, would be mating with Khol. He would be strong enough to protect us, to keep us completely safe.
Wait
. . . what was I thinking? Were my hormones already making me lose control of my sanity?
Maybe that’s what happened before too?

“Your dragon instincts are taking over in order to protect your child. That part of you knows what would be best for you . . .” Khol reached out his large warm hand and placed it on my stomach. “And for the child.”

I brought my much smaller hand up to rest on top of his. “Khol—thank you. I don’t know what else to say. But I’m not that girl. A part of me wants to be—but I would end up hating myself if I made my decision based solely on what’s easier for me.” I paused to try and gather my thoughts better; everything was happening so fast, as per usual in my world. “I thought everything was settled. We’ve been down this road before . . . kind of . . . with the whole you and me and Bryn thing. It actually feels a little déjà vu-ish. I can’t keep going in circles.” But how would I stop? Maybe . . . I don’t know . . . Maybe it was time to let fate decide once and for all. A plan slowly started to form in my mind, and honestly I didn’t see any other option that I could live with. “I’m going to let fate decide.” I lifted my face up so I could meet Khol’s eyes. “Whoever’s child I’m carrying . . . I’ll mate with him.”

Khol’s jaw ticked with tension. “And if Bryn has already mated with another, or refuses you because of his stubbornness?”

Would he? Would Bryn refuse his child and me if that ended up being the case? I just couldn’t imagine him doing that to me, but then again I had never imagined him actually walking away from me either. “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.” I grimaced.
Almost nineteen and pregnant
. . .
Way to go, P.J.!
“Is there a way to tell this early?” I was sadly uneducated when it came to paternity stuff. Of course never in a million years did I ever think I’d end up having a “
who’s your daddy?”
moment.

“No, not without risking the health of the child.” He cupped my face in his hand tenderly, his illuminated green eyes glowing with hope. “But does that mean that you’ve decided to keep it?”

I bit my lip as I looked at him. “Yeah, I guess it does.”
Huh.
I was going to be a mom. I—P.J. Stone was—going to be . . . a mom.
I’m going to be a mommy.
I knew it would happen eventually, but the feelings of a panic attack began in my chest and starting worming its way through my nervous system. “I can’t be a mom,” I choked out as I gasped for air. Why was it suddenly so hot in here? And why did it feel like I had an elephant sitting on my chest? I reached out and dug my nails into Khol’s arm. “I can’t—” But I couldn’t finish the sentence, my lungs wouldn’t let me.

He laid me back down on his bed and pushed my now sweaty hair out of my face as I continued to struggle for oxygen. “Shhh . . . my little Seer. I will take care of you.” He dipped his head down to brush his lips against mine and it was as if they contained the oxygen my body was craving. I took in a shaky deep breath as my eyes fluttered shut. “That’s right,” I heard Khol murmur in a cajoling tone. “Rest. You need to rest.”

“But what about our plans to find the dragon Queen. What about . . .?”

Khol’s lips brushed against my forehead this time, and his sweet caress made me feel all warm and safe inside, quieting my worries. “You rest now, and afterwards we can go to our Queen.”
We
—he wasn’t planning on going with me before, but I guess he’d changed his mind, or me being knocked up had changed his mind for him. “No matter what, I’ll be by your side; you won’t go through this alone.” It was the last thing I heard before I fell into a fitful sleep.

I woke up alone in Khol’s bed. I lay there a few minutes trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was actually pregnant. My hand slid down to touch my belly; it was as flat as ever. Did that mean the gestation period was moving slower like a dragon’s because Khol was the father or had the child just been conceived more recently? How long would I have to wait to find out who my baby’s daddy was? Maybe I should go on
Maury Povich
to find out.

I rolled out of bed and lumbered over to the door, wanting nothing more than a nice hot shower and some breakfast. Pancakes—no waffles—no scrambled eggs and bacon—wait—I don’t even like scrambled eggs and bacon, or maybe I did now. Or maybe the baby did? It certainly seemed to have a predilection for meat. Did that mean it was mostly dragon? I was so caught up in thoughts about breakfast and the baby that I ran head first into Bryn’s chest. “Oh . . .” His delectable scent stole the rest of the words from my mouth. His eyes then flashed an intense dragon blue as they skimmed down to briefly rest upon my stomach before they made their way back up to my face. My head swam at the realization.
He knew.
He knew that I was pregnant.

“Peej,” he said gruffly. “I was just on my way to see you. Why are you out of bed?” He lifted his hand up to touch me but then stopped short as if he suddenly thought better of it.

I tried to control my voice. “Who told you?” But it came out shaky anyways.

“Khol.”

I slid my eyes shut unable to look at him. “Of course he did.” I never thought to tell Khol not to inform Bryn of my circumstances; I’d been too upset and focused on other things.

“So you really were planning on not telling me?” His voice broke an octave lower than normal and I cringed at the accusation, especially because it was true.

I slowly opened my eyes but I still couldn’t manage to meet his, so I let my gaze settle on the floor in between us. “I didn’t want it to affect your decision about me—about us.”

“Whether you like it or not, it makes a difference if you’re carrying my child,” Bryn ground out.

Sudden tears splashed down my face and my lower lip began to tremble uncontrollably. “I just wanted you to pick me for me—not because I might be pregnant with your child.”

Bryn tilted my chin up towards him with his index finger and the minute my eyes met his, I wanted nothing more than to throw myself into his arms. But I fought the urge and remained where I was. “Peej, I never stopped wanting you, and I never will. All those things I’ve said to you about loving you—I will—always. But that’s not what all of this is about. I just wanna protect you—make sure you’re safe. Khol is your best option for that, but if you are carrying my kid”—he ground his teeth together—“then he’s not raising
my
kid.”

I slid my gaze away from him again, even though his finger still rested under my chin. “And if it’s not yours?”

Bryn’s hand dropped away from me. “Then it’s obvious. You mate with Khol.”

Had Khol told him about my plan too? “So you’re going to go along with me mating with whoever’s child this is?” I brought my hand up to rub my stomach.

Bryn was silent for a few moments and I could have counted the seconds by my heartbeats, but I had nothing else to say so I waited anxiously for what his response would be. “Yes,” he finally said. “Khol and I have already discussed the arrangements. We’re both going to take care of you until the day we all get our answer and then—”

“And then I’ll mate with one of you.”

Bryn nodded once in affirmation. He swallowed a few times, his Adam’s apple dancing up and down in his throat nervously. “I don’t want this to be weird. I’m sorry about what I did before; you have to know that. You have to know I love you, Peej. Nothing could ever change that.”