The Playbook (a Secret Baby Sports Romance) (14 page)

N
o
.

Fuck, no.

I looked at the test again. My head became light and woozy as I sat on the toilet seat. My stomach rolled uncomfortably. After spending nearly three days and nights in bed feeling like I had been hit by a truck, I’d woken up that morning throwing up again. But that wasn’t all; my breasts felt heavy and full. Though I was in complete denial of the fact that pregnancy could be a possibility—it just had to be the flu or some kind of virus, it had to be—I dragged myself to the local drugstore. I managed to avoid both Merry and my father on my little quest.

To make sure, I’d bought seven different types of tests. Now I had six of them all lined up on the bathroom counter, all telling me the same exact thing. I was pregnant. And it was Jacob’s baby.
Shit.

After placing the last test in line on the counter with the rest, I put my head in my hands. How could I have screwed up this badly? My period was slightly irregular, but I always remembered to take my pill to help with the irregularity. I never would have expected this to happen.

I remembered we’d used condoms once we’d started our marathon sex session inside the house, but that first time, in the pool, when I’d practically dangled myself in front of him, we’d used nothing. What had I been thinking? It was totally and completely out of character for me to be so irresponsible, to throw that much caution to the wind and gamble with my future. Well I had lost, big time. What was I going to do? There was no doubt in my mind that I was pregnant now. Hell, I had half a drug store on my counter saying as much!

Lifting my head, I moved just in time to throw up yet again. I retched; there was nothing at all left in my stomach to throw up.

My dad was going to kill me. Merry would be supportive of course, and so would Cara, but raising a child? Was I ready for that? I didn’t have much experience with children and didn’t really know the first thing about taking care of a baby. My life was in shambles—living in my parent’s guest house, for fuck’s sake—but in about eight short months I would be responsible for another living, breathing, and helpless human? I wasn’t ready. Of course it wasn’t the only option… there were alternative solutions, but touching upon each of them in my mind, I didn’t think I could live with going through with any of them.

Touching my still flat stomach, I wondered what the baby would look like or how he or she would feel about me. What would Jacob say? Did I even want to tell him? He had a right to know, no matter what he’d done to me, I debated with myself.

Dropping my hand, I knew I had to tell him, given his past with his own father or the little bit I knew about it, anyway. It wouldn’t be right to keep it to myself and deny him a chance of being a father. But could I let him back into my life after what he’d done? The thought of raising a child with someone who wasn’t a partner left me feeling hollow. That was not how I’d envisaged it going. We might raise a child together, but the hurt of how it had happened still burned a hole in my chest. With a sigh, I eased myself up and walked out of the bathroom to my closet to get ready for work. I’d taken too much time off. Any more and it would become suspicious.

* * *

I
rose
out of my seat carefully as the knock became insistent on my office door. I wondered who on earth was trying to beat it down. Every day I closeted myself in the space, no longer leaving the door open or ajar. I didn’t want to run the risk of having Jacob barge in here and demand I listen to whatever excuse he was going to rattle off. But after three knocks, I felt like I should answer it. It might not be him but someone who really needed some help, and I couldn’t pretend not to be in.

Opening the door, I took one look at his face and shut it again, locking it for good measure. “Go away.”

“What the hell did you tell your father, Lucia?” he asked, his voice muffled through the wood. Tell my father? I hadn’t told him anything about Jacob and our undefinable relationship. And I surely had not said one word about the baby growing inside me. He would have a fit if that little tidbit was just blurted out, but I knew I couldn't hide it forever. I’d have Merry there with me when I finally had to break the news, though.

“He’s riding my ass, telling me to stay away from you,” he continued. “Hell, Lucia, he’s going to make my life miserable.”

“So what do you want me to do about it?”

“I dunno,” he said, exasperated. “Open the door—we really need to talk, unless you want everyone to hear our business. I’m so sorry, truly I am. You believed me once before, believe me now when I say that book you found, it doesn’t mean anything. It only led me to you. My feelings are real, Lucia.”

I leaned my forehead against the cool wood and willed myself to stay strong. I could not allow myself to fall back on my word now. Plus, today was not a good day to tell Jacob about the possibility of a baby. I still needed to get a doctor to confirm that it was real and had made an early appointment the next day. “Just go away, Jacob, please,” I pleaded, feeling the nausea roll in my stomach.

“Eugh! But why tell your father? I can’t believe you would do such a thing,” he continued, as if I hadn’t even spoken. I hadn’t done anything—I was too wrapped up in the newest issue in my life to even think about telling my father about our sexcapades. He was going to totally ignore that fact anyway when he found out about the baby. No, I had bigger issues than Jacob’s insecurities about his job. He should have thought about that before he cracked open that stupid book.

“It doesn’t matter now anyway. It’s not like you didn’t deserve a reaming,” I shot back, hurt in my voice. “Clearly I was just a conquest for you and your stupid black book. So why don’t you just leave me alone?”

“Oh, come on, Lucia,” he answered roughly. “You never let me explain that. What we have, it’s more than that.”

I couldn’t help but choke back laughter, thinking that he was right on that account. What we had could’ve been so much more if he hadn’t turned into a huge jerk-face. Jacob jiggled the door handle, and I paused, another wave of nausea nearly overpowering me. I gagged as I ran to my trash can, upchucking the few crackers I’d eaten this morning.

“Lucia?” Jacob asked. “Shit. Are you okay?”

“Go away,” I forced out, wiping my mouth with a tissue I grabbed from the box on my desk. If this was real and I was pregnant, I didn’t want anything to do with it; the nausea was almost constant now, and I felt miserable. I probably looked miserable, too, and all I wanted was to be left alone. The door jiggled harder, and I froze, prying my fingers away from the edge of the trash can. I couldn’t let him in. Reaching over, I picked up my office phone and speed-dialed security.

“Security. How may we assist you?”

“Um, yes, I think someone has just hit a car in the parking lot,” I said in an almost whisper so Jacob wouldn’t overhear me. “I think it’s Jacob Maddox’ car. You might want to call him and tell him. They’re driving off. Oh my God, he’s going to be so pissed!” I hung up immediately as the guard started to ask more questions. It wasn’t long before I heard Jacob’s phone ring on the other side of the door.

“Yeah? What? Shit, I will be there in a moment. Lucia, this is not over with yet, not by a long shot.”

I heard his footsteps recede down the hall and sighed in relief, glad that I was able to get him away from the door. I needed to figure all of this out first before I told anyone about the baby. Hell, I didn’t even believe it myself and needed someone official to tell me it was happening, not just take the word of some pee on a few plastic sticks.

But though it was scary as hell, even I had to admit, partially exciting, too. I was potentially going to be a mother, giving my father and Merry their first grandchild. So what if the father was not going to be involved? I could provide for this child, but I couldn’t stay here anymore. It had become abundantly clear that I needed to quit, start new like Cara had said, and move on to something where my skills and help would be appreciated and not belittled.

With the decision made I picked up my phone, scrolled to Cara’s number and texted her, asking if she could meet for lunch. I wanted to see this office space.

* * *

T
he next day
Cara and the realtor followed not far behind me as I walked through the quirky rooms of the empty office. Cara was right, the location was fantastic. Set in a converted townhouse, it was a stone’s throw from the ocean but close enough to everything that we would ever need. Plus it had a small parking lot around back for clients.

On the ground floor, the actual working spaces, the offices, were very spacious but still had a good homely feel about them, perfect for therapy sessions. I could imagine my diplomas on the walls and a nice desk in the corner with the picture windows behind me. I knew I could work well in this environment. The whole building gave off a good tranquil vibe, even the apartment upstairs which Cara was eager to show me, was gorgeous.

“Well?” Cara asked as I turned to face them. “What do you think?”

“It’s perfect,” I said, the first real smile on my face in quite a number of days.

“So, what does that mean exactly?” Cara prodded, not quite happy with my elusive answer. “Are you going to come in with me? You know we’ll be great at it. It’s what we always talked about in college.”

“It’s a big step,” I said slowly. “My father is going to hit the roof when he hears I want to leave.” I had such high hopes for that job, but the writing was definitely on the wall. I couldn’t stay. If I did, I was going to have the life sucked out of me with no support from the coaching staff. Twiddling my thumbs was not my idea of trying to make a difference. I wanted to help people.

“Take your dad out of the picture for just a moment, Lucia,” Cara said, putting her hands on her hips. “What do you want to do? What would make you happy?”

I looked around the empty office and thought about it. What
would
make me happy? The list was short, barely a list at all—this was on it and so was one annoying quarterback. I smiled. “I want this. Let’s do it.”

“Yes!” Cara exclaimed, walking over to hug me. “We are so going to kick ass! I had all kinds of ideas for advertisements, too. Word will spread, Lucia, and they’ll flock to us.”

I grinned at her enthusiasm, hoping that I wouldn’t let her down, too. I also hoped that some of her excitement would rub off on me. Right now I was too preoccupied thinking about the baby growing inside me. My early morning appointment had confirmed that I was indeed up the duff. I hadn’t even told Cara, not yet knowing how I truly felt. She would be totally supportive, that I had no doubt about, but there was still something inside me, an instinct of sorts to just keep the information to myself a little while longer. Like I needed to fully digest what was happening to me. I guessed I had to let it sink in properly before I was ready to hear anyone else’s opinion on the matter.

I would have to come up with some way of breaking the news to Jacob soon, though. That I couldn’t chicken out on. But I did think telling Jacob was probably going to be a lot easier than telling my father. The moment my father found out that a player had defiled his precious daughter, World War Three would start.

“You okay, Luce?” Cara asked, picking up on my quietness. I should’ve been jumping up and down, ecstatic about this new venture, and in a way I was, I just had a hard time showing it right then.

“Yeah, don’t you worry about me, I’m fine. Just nervous, I guess. But we’re in this together, right?”

“Right!” She beamed at me, I loved seeing her happy.

Looking at my watch, I realized it was later than I’d thought. “I have to get to work—figure out how I’m going to quit and tell my father about all this,” I said, looking at Cara. “Just send me the paperwork, okay? And I’ll phone you later so we can start planning.”

“I’m so excited!” she announced, giving me another hug. “This is going to be epic!”

I nodded and walked out of the townhouse, biting my lip as I went. I sure hoped so. Something in my life had to go right.