The School of Flirting
Read The School of Flirting Online
Authors: S. B. Sheeran
The School of Flirting
A Lesbian Romantic Comedy
S. B. Sheeran
Copyright ©
2015 S. B. Sheeran
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
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This book is dedicated to all the open minded people out there. To the ones that are willing to open their heart and listen, and to all of those people that are being criticized everyday for the way that they live or the road that they have chosen. Never ever settle. People may hate you for being different and not living by society’s standards, but deep down, they wish they had the courage to do the same!
Also By S. B. Sheeran:
Table of Contents
Culture Gap
…
This is the letter that I wrote on my flight in to Chicago six months ago:
“Hello, my name is Mina Yamada. I am very pleased to meet you! My blood type is AB and I was born in the year of the rabbit. I am 158 centimeters tall, that is five foot two in America. This year I am coming from Japan to study in America! I have been studying English very hard so that I could understand my American professors and make friends. This is very important to me because I am only half Japanese. My father is an American. My mother says I look very much like him. My friends at home in Japan think I look like a foreigner because have round eyes and brown hair. This makes me have a very fashionable style at home, but I am nervous of what people will think of me in the U.S.A. Will everyone talk too fast because they think I am American? Lucky for me, I have good friend at my exchange University.
Leann came to my school in Kyoto when we were children. Her family traveled much and so she stayed in Kyoto for two years. She did not know Japanese when she came to school, but she studied very hard and speaks very good Japanese now. We wrote many letters to each other over the years. I sent her secrets and we practiced our second language writing. I always knew that I would travel to the U.S.A. one day. I am lucky that our university has an exchange program and I got this chance!
Now I am very nervous because I have not seen Leann since we were thirteen. She has sent me photos and I will try to recognize her from those pictures. I hope that we are still the best friends we are in letters!”
I know, awful isn’t it? Six years of studying English and my language skills were still so unnatural sounding. I guess it shouldn’t have been a surprise. I learned English by reading text books and practicing with other nonnative speakers. Slang? Never heard of it. Okay, I had picked up a library book on that but it was so outdated it was useless, unless I ever have to go to a disco theme party, then I’m set. Groovy, baby!
I wrote that letter thinking that I could submit it with my application to be in a sports or hobby club. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Of course not. It turns out you guys don’t have that here. Not only was my English not quite up to snuff, but my cultural knowledge was seriously lacking too. In Japan, joining a university club is practically mandatory and it really shapes who you hang out with and how you spend the majority of your free time. (That free time is actually tiny and precious when you think of all the classes, exam prep, extra tutoring and part time jobs we also have to juggle.) At Leann’s university it’s a different story. Sure, there are extracurricular activities but you just show up if you want to, stop going if you aren’t loving it. No application and no obligation. There’s also no exam prep or tutoring necessary.
You can see how this was a huge culture shock for me when I arrived. Suddenly I had all this free time and nothing to do with it. There was also my “fashionable style”. Yes, at home my gajin, or “foreigner”, look was very hip. Here in the states? I blend in. My long brown hair is a bit mousey, my round eyes are the norm, and being short and slim just gets me lost behind towering blonde glamazons. All in all I look like a librarian. And I study like one too.
Luckily when Leann met me at the airport we connected immediately. It was as though we had never been apart; which is pretty amazing for not seeing someone in almost seven years. It was probably because we had been such faithful pen pals. It’s hard to write that often and not share your deepest secrets. Leann really understood what it’s like being dropped into an alien culture too. If I was feeling the bewildered and hopeless about ever learning everything I needed to; I could just look over at Leann and know that she’d had this exact same experience when she arrived in Kyoto all those years ago.
We also had one other critical thing in common. We’re both lesbians. Not to say that we wouldn’t be close if either of us was straight, but it is amazing to have someone truly understand where you are coming from. In case you are wondering, we decided a long time ago that we wouldn’t date each other. Attraction or lack of attraction aside, Leann likes commitment and my trip to America is only a long term visit. I’ve always planned on going back home. Still… I’m a normal college girl with the normal sex drive of a college girl. A yearlong exchange program is way too long to be abstinent.
Seek Help
…
| |
I was desperate to date but the culture gap was a severe hindrance. Body language and subtle flirtation in western cultures wasn’t taught in any of the text books I’d read. Even combing the campus library psychology and sociology sections, I was only able to turn up a few books on pair bonding and behavior from a heterosexual perspective. Finally, I realized I was going to have to ask for help if I was ever going to get laid.
“Leann?”
“Mm hmm.”
“I want to flirt with girls. How is this done in America?”
“What?? I don’t know. Same way you do it at home?”
“I have tried! I am very polite and I never look girls in the eye.”
Leann looked confused, “That’s flirting in Japan?”
“You left Kyoto when you were thirteen. We did not have any practice dating yet. Shy girls are very hot in Japan.”
“But if both girls are shy how do they get together?”
I sighed dejectedly, “I don’t know. I am not good at dating Japanese women either.”
Leann laughed, “Okay, got it.” She chewed on her thumb thoughtfully for a minute before going to her desk and retrieving a crumpled flyer from the top drawer. “I found this a few weeks ago. But I haven’t had the guts to go.” She passed me the paper. It read:
Is she in to you? How do you tell her you want it too?
Wanna know the secret?
Come to
The School of Flirting!
Coleman Building basement, Thursdays at 9pm.
“That is tonight! We must go!”
Leann waved her hands, “Woah, back that up. Who said ‘we’? I’m not going.”
“Then why did you have this flyer hidden in your desk?”
“I just thought it was funny. That’s all. And it is a great example of typography.” I rolled my eyes. Graphic design majors could talk about type face like it was actually interesting (which it is not). I am double majoring in diplomacy and foreign affairs.… so you know there was no way she was getting off that easily. We needed to talk things through before she made a decision; preferably
my
decision.
“So you do not need to learn how to flirt?”
“No! I’m fine.”
“Then you can teach me! I will not have to go to flirt school either. Right now is a great time to start. Neither of us have classes now.”
“Umm..” Leann looked squirrely. “Actually, I have to…go to the library.”
“I will go with you! That is a great place to start our first lesson, yes?”
“Ugh. Okay. No. I have no idea how to teach you flirting. I don’t really think about it. I just do it!” She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “When I saw the flyer all I thought about was a whole room full of single girls. Lonely horny girls…”
“Then you will go with me! Even if you are wicked and have bad motivation.”
“I have bad intentions and that’s good motivation.” She corrected me offhandedly. I was very happy because I had won again. We were going to Flirt School!