The Pledge (18 page)

“You cold?” Alec took off his zippered sweatshirt and handed it to me.

I hesitated, staring at him. He was wearing a tight dark blue T-shirt underneath. He didn’t need to walk around shirtless. I could see the outline of his chest muscles through the thin material. His arm was extended as he held the sweatshirt out to me, and the veins in his forearm protruded out. I gulped in a breath. He was muscular everywhere, and I had the strangest urge to run my fingertips over the thick cords to see what it felt like. I was used to Doug’s body. The only workout he’d done in the last year was lifting beer bottles to his mouth.

“I can’t take your jacket. You’ll freeze. You’re only wearing a T-shirt.” As the words came out of my mouth, another shiver ripped through me.

“I’ll be all right,” he said, motioning again for me to take the sweatshirt I so desperately wanted. “I’m always hot. I’m like my own personal heater.”

At Alec’s words, my brain was assaulted with thoughts of snuggling into his huge arms for warmth. My face immediately heated in shame. I was wearing Doug’s letters, and I shouldn’t be thinking about Alec that way. I could blame it on the crush I used to have on him—some habits were hard to break.

I took the offered sweatshirt and slid it over my arms. “Thanks. I’ll get it back to you as soon as I can.”

“Keep it ‘til the weekend.” Alec ran a hand through his hair. “You can give it back to me when you come to study.”

“Taren!” I heard Doug’s voice, and my palms began to sweat.
Damn
. I’d been ignoring his calls for the past two days.

I looked toward the sound of my name and saw Doug jogging my way. My fingers touched the fraternity letters that hung from my necklace. Ever since I put it around my neck, the letters felt heavy. I was weighted down with their meaning. I tucked the charm underneath my shirt. I still couldn’t believe he’d decided to lavalier me. For what? So I’d have sex with him? I honestly didn’t believe he was in love with me, so what other reason could he have?

What he’d done was a huge honor in the Greek system, and everyone expected me to say yes. Receiving his letters should have made me happy, but all I felt was shame. I had been the object of an action I didn’t feel was deserved. I didn’t know what this revelation meant for us as a couple, so I’d been ignoring him. I knew it was rude, but I was so confused.

Doug came up beside me and slung an arm over my shoulder. He kissed my cheek, and I glanced up at Alec. His face was tense, and the muscle in his jaw twitched as he watched Doug. My face flushed as my gaze darted between them. I felt embarrassed that my
boyfriend
had his arm around me in front of Alec. What was wrong with me?

“Alec, this is my...friend, Doug Pickles. You met him at The Shell the other night. Doug, this is Alec Hart. We went to the same high school and have a class together now.”

Neither guy extended a hand to shake. They eyed one another up and down, and an uncomfortable silence surrounded us.

“Pickles is your last name?“ Alec’s eyebrows tilted up as he spoke to Doug. “That must suck, man. Thought that was a nickname.”

Doug stared at Alec for a long moment without responding. Then he turned to me, and he dipped his chin down, pouting. “Friend, Taren? Really? I mean, c’mon.” He pulled out the necklace from where it was tucked underneath my shirt.

Looking up, Alec watched me in confusion. His eyebrows pinched together as he stared at the necklace. Doug placed it on my chest and ran his finger over it before moving behind me. I stiffened as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and a queasy feeling turned in my stomach. Doug Pickles was staking claim on me. He might as well have lifted his leg and pissed all over me like a territorial dog.

“You know what this is?” Doug asked, pointing to the necklace. Alec gave him a death stare and didn’t respond. “My letters. That means she’s my girl. We just made it official. Right baby?” Doug kissed my cheek again, and queasiness crawled up my throat.

Alec stood as still as a statue, not budging or saying anything.

“Come on, babe.” Doug released his grip on my shoulders and grabbed my hand. “I’ll walk you to your next class.”

“Um. Yeah, thanks.” My eyes darted up to Alec’s face to find his mouth pressed into a tight line as if he wanted to say something. “I’ll see you on Saturday?” I smiled and hoped he could see the apology in my eyes.

He hitched his backpack higher on his shoulder. “See you then.”

When Doug placed another kiss on my temple, Alec turned and walked the other way.

“You’re seeing him on Saturday?” Doug snapped once Alec was out of earshot.

“We’re in the same class, and we’re getting together to study.” I wrapped my arms around my stomach as Doug turned, guiding me up the sidewalk. He hadn’t commented on the oversized sweatshirt I was wearing. I wondered if he had noticed it wasn’t mine. I let out a slow sigh and my shoulders slumped. I felt like shit for not telling him who it belonged to.

“You haven’t returned any of my messages, baby.” Doug’s arm fell away from my shoulder and slid around my waist. His fingers stroked under the edge of my shirt to find skin.

I shivered, and subtly cringed away from his touch. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy studying,” I lied.

His hand slid down over the swell of my ass and slipped into my back pocket. “Come to The Shell tonight and hang out with me.” He leaned in to kiss my neck.

My eyes darted around, wondering if people were watching the way he was touching me. “I don’t know—”

“Can’t you put aside the books for one night? I want to party with my girl.” Doug stopped and turned to me. He used his fingers to tilt my face toward his and gave me his best puppy dog gaze—the one that had made me feel special so often over the past year.

My lips were parched, and my throat tightened as I blinked, trying to find the words to respond. “I...It’s just...I have a test tomorrow.” I couldn’t even commit to seeing him tonight, and a fresh wave of guilt washed over me. I had to look away from him. He was my boyfriend. He'd been patient with me for the most part, and was the first guy to notice me. That had to count for something. What the hell was wrong with me?

He released a frustrated sigh and looked over my shoulder. His mouth pulled into a tight line. “Fine. Maybe you’ll be able to pencil me into your schedule tomorrow.” He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, and then he walked away without another word.

As I watched him disappear into a group of students, the necklace, hanging around my neck, was heavy with the weight of my regret. I was the worst girlfriend ever.

***

I slammed the book shut and looked at the clock. The band at The Shell would have just started playing. If I left now, I would have plenty of time. Doug’s words had been echoing through my head all day, and the shame over the way I’d been treating him was too loud to ignore. I was his girlfriend. He had made a commitment to me and wanted to spend time with me. Why was I in my room studying instead of hanging out with him?

Alexis looked up from her bed and watched as I stood up and went over to the closet and rummaged through the clothes. “You’re heading over to The Shell, aren’t you?”

I let out a deep breath and shrugged. “We’re dating. I should start acting like it.” I pulled a pair of skinny jeans out and my favorite top.

Alexis closed her book and hopped off her bed. “I could use a study break.” She smiled as she picked out her own outfit.

“Lex, you don’t have to go.” I tossed my pajama shorts on my bed and shimmied into my jeans.

“Of course I do. Julie is out on a date, and I’m not letting you walk there alone. Besides, I could use a drink. It’s been a long week.”

“Fine.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek as I buttoned my jeans. “As long as it’s not because you feel the need to babysit me.”

She laughed. “I haven’t been out drinking in a while. If anyone needs babysitting, it’ll be me.”

We finished getting dressed and made the walk over to The Shell. The walk may have been short, but in heels, it always felt ten times longer than it really was. We flashed our fake IDs to the bouncer and he opened the door for us with a wink and a smile. The band was already playing, and the dance floor was packed by the time we made it inside.

“You sure he’s here?” Alexis leaned over to shout into my ear. The place was filled with people and so dark, we had a hard time seeing anything but flashing lights and bobbing shadows.

I looked toward the corner where Doug usually hung out with his frat brothers, but he wasn’t there. I lifted my hand and swirled my finger to indicate I was going to walk around. “Watson and a bunch of the other guys are over there. He’s got to be here somewhere. I’m just going to go look for him.”

Alexis squeezed my other hand. “I’ll go get us a couple of beers.” She pointed to the bar, and I gave her a thumbs up.

I walked around the edge of the dance floor. My hand crept up to my neck as my fingers found Doug’s letters. I smiled and could already feel the guilt fading away. This was where I should have been hours ago. Doug was my boyfriend. Avoiding him, especially after he put himself out there in front of all of our friends, was just wrong.

I walked over to Watson, and when he saw me, his eyes flew open wide in surprise.

“Hey, Watson.” I smiled.

“Hey, Taren.“ He took a long gulp of his beer as his eyes darted past me. “Does Pickles know you’re here?”

“No. I came here to surprise him. Do you know where he is?” I turned around to search the immediate area, but still didn’t see him. Odd. He usually stayed close to his brothers.

Watson put his arm on my shoulder. “Hang out here with the boys. I’ll go look for him.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can find him.” I brushed off his hand and waved. “I'm here with Alexis anyway.“ I headed toward the edge of the dance floor where she stood with two beers. She stood frozen, staring at the people dancing. She really did need to get out a little more often.

“Hey. Thanks, babe,” I said with a smile, snagging one of the beers out of her hand. I pressed it against my lips and tilted my head back, letting the liquid slide down my throat. Yum. I should bring Alexis more often. She bought the good stuff.

Her head swung to look at me. Her eyes were full of concern.

“Oh, sorry. Is this yours?” I tried to hand it back to her.

“No. Taren, it’s...” Her eyes flashed back to the dance floor, and that was when I saw why she looked so worried.

My Whistler.

Shock slammed into my chest.

His tongue was down another girl’s throat, and my hand immediately covered my mouth. His hands gripped her ass while his hips ground into her like he was going to fuck her into tomorrow.

I teetered on my heels as if someone had knocked them out from under me. “What the hell?”

Alexis reached out to steady me. “Taren. Are you okay?” She gripped my arm, trying to get my attention, but I couldn’t look at her.

I couldn’t see anything except for the blurry form of my boyfriend humping another girl. In public. The tears were hot and angry as they crowded past my eyelids. I wiped them away with the back of my hand and handed my beer back to Alexis. “Hold this for me.” What I really wanted was to break it over Pickles’ head.

I stomped onto the dance floor, and Watson intercepted me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Taren, it’s not what it looks like.”

I turned an angry glare on him. “Back off, Watson before I knee you in the balls.” I shrugged off his grip, and he backed away, hands up in defense.

I shoved my way through the crowd, and although I was small, my fury parted the crowd like the Red Sea. Every memory I'd had with him–the good and the gross–as well as my misplaced regret, fueled my rage. When I reached Pickles, I tapped him on the shoulder and put my hands on my hips.

He pulled his lips from the girl. “What the fuck do you want?” he asked, swinging his drunk gaze in my direction. When his two functioning brain cells made the connection, he stepped away from the girl as if burned. “Taren?” He looked between me and his dance partner. He extended his arms toward me. “It’s not what you think, Taren.”

I shifted away from his reach. “Really?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Because I think you were hooking up with another girl.” I reached up and wrapped my fist around his letters. I glared at him in disgust and yanked on the chain so hard it broke. My neck burned from where the chain cut into my skin.

“No.” He tried to grab for me, and I stepped out of his grasp.

“You were hooking up with another girl less than a week after you lavaliered me? Seriously, Pickles?” I was revolted.

“No. Come on, babe. You know that’s not true. It was just a dance.” He reached out to touch my arm, and I recoiled. I couldn’t believe he had the balls to try to lie to me with the lip gloss smeared evidence still standing next to him, watching us argue.

“I’m not stupid, Pickles.” I grabbed his arm and turned it so his palm was up. I dropped the necklace into his hand, feeling a thousand times lighter than I had since he had given it to me. “You obviously don’t know the meaning of the word commitment.”

I turned to walk away when he grabbed my arm, spinning me back around. “You can’t just throw away a year.” Doug growled, digging his fingers into my arm.