The Pledge (19 page)

I pulled my arm out of his grasp. “I didn’t throw it away. You did.” I spun around and walked back to Alexis as fast as I could and with as much dignity as I could muster. Which to be honest, wasn’t much. I was so stupid. Watson knew. All of Pickle’s fraternity brothers knew. I felt like I was back in high school, staring at Alec Hart, embarrassment coursing through me. Once again, I thought a guy liked me and I was wrong. I was nothing but a joke.

Tears filled my eyes as Alexis took my hand without a word. The truth was, deep down, I never fully trusted Doug. My chest ached at the thought, and I wrapped my arms around myself. He had never
needed
to be with me. Hanging out with me was an afterthought for him. I was the warm set of lips and free grope that he could count on when he was in the mood. Of course, he didn’t need to have sex with me. He was probably getting it from other places. My friends had been right. I was a challenge. That’s why Doug stayed with me even though I refused to have sex with him. My chin trembled. Realizing my insignificance hurt.

Doug ran in front of us, trying to keep us from leaving. “Don’t, Taren. Don’t do this.”

A tear slid down my cheek, and I brushed it away. “You just made me feel worthless.” I took a deep breath and choked down my emotion, refusing to cry in front of him. “And I promised myself that those days were over.”

“Taren, wait!” Doug shouted as I led Alexis around him and walked away. “You’re making a big mistake.”

I shook my head and headed for the door. Before we left, I looked back and saw Doug staring at the letters in his hand.

Was he feeling hurt? Confused? Pissed?
Welcome to the club
.

***

“What is new, Miss Taren?”

I joined William at his table, and he passed me a cup of lemonade. “Oh, too much, William. My head is swimming.” I took a sip of lemonade and sat back in my chair. “Yum. Thank you.”

William grinned. “Reminded me of sunshine, like you.”

William was so kind and gentle. He made me feel comfortable and at peace in my own skin.

“What is hurting you?” He sipped his drink and waited patiently.

How did he always know when something was wrong? Even though I was there to talk to him, I couldn’t keep myself from opening up to him about my life when he asked. I took a deep breath. “I’ve had a boyfriend for the last year. The only boyfriend I’ve ever had. But…” I sighed and looked away. “He’s wasn’t always the best boyfriend, and we broke up.”

William nodded. “Did you love him?”

“No.” I answered before realizing the word had flown out of my mouth. “I didn’t, but when I was with him, I wasn't alone. Before I met him, I was alone a lot. Does that make any sense?” I stared into my glass of lemonade, feeling the weight of my admission.

“I’m alone a lot. I do not mind it.” William took another drink. “I think it is better to be alone and listen to yourself than to be with someone you do not love, listening to them.”

My smile was tentative but grew bigger as his words hit me.
Holy cow
. He had a point. I had been wasting my time with Pickles. For an entire year. Why? Because he made me feel like I belonged. That wasn’t enough of a reason anymore. I wanted to feel a connection to someone. I wanted to feel a spark. Passion. Love. I belonged with my sisters and my friends. They were always there for me. I didn’t need that from Doug. I nodded at William, a fluttery feeling developing in my stomach and flowing through my body as I listened to his parting words.

“No more hurting, Miss Taren. Listen to your heart. Yup, yup.”

Chapter Sixteen

ALEC

“Dude, what are you doing?” Caz was sprawled across the couch, watching TV.

I rushed around the living room, picking things up and tossing them into the hall closet. I’d figure out where everything went later. “Taren’s going to be here soon. I don’t want the place to look like a dump.”

“Taren? I don’t recall giving my blessing to anyone named Taren.”

“I don’t need your blessing for shit. But you’ve actually seen her before.” I grabbed the sneaker and T-shirt that were slung over the arm of the couch and flung them into the closet before shutting the door. “Remember that girl I went to high school with?”

“Wait…no way, is she the sorority girl eye candy?” Caz sat up straight.

“We have a class together. We’re studying.” I went into the kitchen and started putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Caz burst out laughing. “I thought you hated her. So do you like her now or are you just trying to make amends?”

The plates knocked against each other as I shoved them into the lower rack. “She’s coming here to study. That’s all.” The silverware clattered as I dropped them all into the side basket and then slammed the door shut.

“Then why are you trying to impress her like you’re planning to get her naked?” Caz yelled back.

“I’m showing you what decent manners look like in case you ever man up and bring a girl home.” I wiped my hands with the dish towel and then walked into the living room, flinging it at Caz’s head. “Besides. Taren has a boyfriend. Some fraternity douche named Pickles.”

He tossed the towel back at me, and I caught it in my fist. “I told you those girls belonged to the guys on frat row.”

I walked over to the closet and tossed the towel in with everything else. “And I told you that we were just studying.” Turning to face Caz, I leaned against the closet door. “I thought you guys were going out.”

“We’re leaving now.” Jon walked into the living room, fresh from a shower. He looked around the apartment. “Nice. You cleaned up.”

“No he didn’t.” Caz tossed his comic book on the coffee table. “He threw all our shit in the hall closet. So if you’re looking for your tighty whities later on, you know where to find them.”

“Those are yours.” Jon grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and put it on. “You’re the only one in this apartment who wears them.”

“You mean I’m the only one hung well enough to need them.” Caz swiveled his hips like a low rent Elvis impersonator. “My junk likes to be secure when I’m throwing triples in the gym. It’s too massive to be swinging free with that kind of rotation.”

Caz was always bragging about his size. One thing I knew for certain from living with him was that you should always sanitize the ruler before using it. Chances were, he had used it last to measure his dick.

A loud buzz echoed through the apartment, and Caz beat me to the intercom.

“Speak,” Caz ordered.

I pushed him out of the way. “She’s not a dog, dickhead.” I pushed the button again to speak into the intercom. “Taren?”

“Alec?”

I pressed the button to buzz her in. “Come on in. I’ll meet you down in the lobby.” I grabbed my keys and headed for the front door.

“Hey.” Caz came jogging after me. “Don’t forget the rules buddy.”

I frowned. “What rules?”

“Don’t forget to put a sock on the door this time and lock it just in case.”

I shook my head. “I told you this isn’t a date. We’re just studying.”

Caz opened the hall closet and grabbed a dirty sock from the pile I’d tossed in there, and then he flung it at me. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

***

“Where did your roommates go?” Taren took off her jacket and laid it across the arm of the couch.

“They went rock climbing.” I couldn’t afford to go to the climbing gym with the guys. Usually it bothered me, but one look at Taren in her skin-tight jeans and low cut top and the only thing I could think about climbing was her body. With my mouth. Although I knew it couldn’t happen, I’d take this pleasurable torture any day.

“You didn’t want to go?” She set her backpack on the floor.

“I have too much work to do. Besides, they won’t be back before I have to go to work.” I picked up her jacket to hang in the closet, but then stopped before I opened the door as I remembered all the shit I’d hidden in there. Instead, I draped it over the back of one of the chairs at the table.

“Oh.” A small frown pulled the corner of Taren’s mouth down. “You have to work tonight?”

“Every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. Sometimes other nights when I can pick up extra hours, but those are my regular shifts. Want a drink?” When she nodded, I went to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water. I came back into the living room and handed her one. “Will you be there tonight?”

“No.” Taren played with a piece of her hair. She looked away from me as she settled into the corner of the couch, kicking off her shoes, and tucking her legs underneath of her. “Doug will probably be there, so I don’t really want to go.”

“Why not?” I sat on the arm of one of the chairs and opened my water, taking a long drink.

Taren glanced up and her hands fell into her lap as she twisted a ring on her thumb. “I gave him back his letters. I haven’t talked to him since I found out he was hooking up with other girls.”

“Shit.” I set the bottle on the coffee table and wiped my hands on my jeans. I’d seen him with other girls at The Shell before, but I didn’t know how new their relationship was or how open. “I’m sorry.”

Her laugh was bitter, and she shook her head. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. I just can’t believe it took me a year to figure it out.”

Fuck. A year? “I know it’s not my place to say, but you deserve better than him, Taren.” I leaned my elbows on my knees and tried to look her in the eye.

I thought I saw her roll her eyes as she leaned over to pull her laptop out of her bag. “Yes, well I won’t hold my breath.”

“What do you mean?” Why was she even dating Pickles in the first place? She was too smart to be with a loser like that. Especially for a year.

She traced the design on the top of the laptop with her finger. “Doug was my first kiss.” She immediately ducked her head, burying her face in her hands. “That sounds so sad, I know,” she mumbled under her breath. After a few moments, she peeked through her fingers at me. “Doug was my first kiss, but I can’t say it was exactly by choice. There weren’t a bunch of guys to choose from or anything.”

Taren had been awkward and unpopular in high school, but there was nothing awkward about her now. “I have a feeling the issue wasn’t a lack of interest, but your lack of availability.”

“Maybe.” She shrugged as if she didn’t want to continue talking about it.

“So, you want to work here?” I asked, pointing to the couch.

“We can work at the table if you want.” She started to get up.

“No, no. This is fine.” I stood up and reached out to stop her. Taren sat back down and powered on her laptop. Grabbing my own laptop off the table, I sat down on the other end of the couch.

Taren looked back at me, and the sweet pink of her lips curved into a shy smile. “Do you already know what you’re writing for your application letter?”

I leaned back against the arm of the couch so I could face her. “Yeah. You?”

Taren nodded and then licked her lips. “After we’re done writing, we can read each other’s letters and critique. Does that work?”

“Sure.” I stared at her mouth. Her lips were still wet from where she had licked them, and I wanted to lean forward, kiss her, and capture every word that came out of her mouth.

We both started up our laptops and ten minutes later, I was still staring at my screen, imagining just how sweet Taren’s lips would taste. Fuck. If I was being completely honest with myself, I was thinking about how sweet every inch of her body would be.

“You’re not typing.” Taren’s face was tilted down toward her screen, but she was peeking over the edge of it at me. She bit her bottom lip and fought back a smile.

“You’re not either.” I rubbed my chin with my hand and smiled back. “Does the brilliant Taren Richards have writer’s block?”

A breathy laugh escaped her, and she scrunched up her nose in an adorable way. “I already wrote it?” Her admission came out like a question.

“The whole thing?” I lifted my chin in question.

She released a defeated sigh. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m wasting your time. I was just so afraid if I came here, and I was alone with you all” —she gestured to me with her hands and shook her head— “with you all gorgeous and muscular and...hot...that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate,” she rambled. “Oh shit. And now I sound like a complete idiot.” She dropped her head into her hands again.

“Gorgeous, muscular, and hot?” A small laugh rumbled in my chest. “Do you sweet talk all your study partners this way?”

“Forget I said that.” She groaned. “Please?”

“No way.” I reached across the couch between us and pulled her hand away from her face. “I like a compliment as much as the next guy.” I lifted her chin up so she would look at me. “Besides, I already wrote mine for the very same reasons.”

“Oh?” She frowned in confusion for a few seconds before my meaning hit her. “Oh.” Her mouth curved into a smile. “Okay. Well should we just trade then?”

She reached up to smooth down her hair, and I was happy that she was at least as affected by me as much as I was by her. We switched laptops, and I read her application, every word valuable insight into the new Taren.