PETs
One way to take the sting out of confrontational or difficult relationships is to imagine people as your own “Personal Emotional Trainers”! The force of love presents you with a whole array of Personal Emotional Trainers, disguised as everyday people, but they are all training you to choose love!
Some people may be soft Personal Emotional Trainers because they don’t push you very hard and they’re so easy to love. Some people may be tough Personal Emotional Trainers because they push you to your limits, as some personal physical trainers do, but they are the ones who are making you stronger to choose love no matter what.
Personal Emotional Trainers can use all kinds of situations and tactics to challenge you, but the thing to remember is that every challenge is presented so you will choose love and turn away from negativity and blame. Some trainers may challenge you to judge them or others, but don’t fall for that trap. Judgment is negative and it’s not giving love, so if you can’t love the good in someone or something, simply turn away.
Some trainers may test you by provoking you to feel revenge, anger, or hatred. Turn away by looking for the things you love in life. Some trainers may even hit you with guilt, feelings of unworthiness, or fear. Don’t fall for any of them, because negativity of any kind is not love.
“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
(1929-1968)
BAPTIST MINISTER AND CIVIL RIGHTS LEADER
If you imagine the people in your life as your Personal Emotional Trainers, it will help you with any difficult relationships. It’s the tough trainers who make you stronger and determined to choose love no matter what, but they’re also giving you a message. They’re telling you that you’ve gotten yourself onto a negative feeling frequency – and you need to feel better to move off it! No one can come into your life and affect you negatively, unless you are already on the same negative feeling frequency. If you’re on a feeling frequency of love, it won’t matter how tough or negative someone is, they will not and cannot affect you!
Each person is just doing their job, just as you are doing your job of being a Personal Emotional Trainer to others. There are no enemies, there are only some great PETs, and some tough PETs who are making you great.
The Law of Attraction Is a Sticky Business
The law of attraction is a sticky business. When you rejoice in another person’s good fortune, their good fortune sticks to you! When you admire or appreciate anything about another person, you’re sticking those qualities to yourself. But when you think or discuss negative things about someone else, you’re sticking those negative things to you too, and you’re putting them into your own life.
The law of attraction is responding to
your
feelings. Whatever you give, you receive, and so if you stick a label on any person, circumstance, or event in life, you are sticking the label on you, and that’s what you will receive.
Now this is fantastic news, because it means you can stick everything you love and want to you by looking for the things you love in other people, and saying yes to them with all of your heart! The world is your catalogue, and when you understand the power of your love, it is a full-time job noticing everything you love in other people. But it’s the easiest and best way to change your whole life. It beats struggle and suffering. All you have to do is notice the things you love in other people, and turn away from the things you don’t so you don’t give them any feeling. How easy is that?
“Taking the first footstep with a good thought, the second with a good word, and the third with a good deed, I entered Paradise.”
Book of Arda Viraf
(circa 6th century)
ZOROASTRIAN RELIGIOUS TEXT
Gossip Is Sticky Too
Gossip seems harmless on the surface, but it can cause a lot of negative things in people’s lives. Gossip is not giving love. Gossip is giving negativity and that’s exactly what you receive back. Gossip is not harmful to the person who is being spoken of; gossip harms those gossiping!
When you are talking with a family member or a friend, and they tell you about some negative thing that someone said or did they are gossiping and they are giving out negativity. As you listen to them, you are giving out negativity too because you are a feeling being, and you can’t hear negative things without your feelings dropping rapidly. When you talk with a work colleague at lunch, and you both talk negatively about someone, you are gossiping and you are giving out negativity. You can’t talk about or hear negativity and have good feelings!
So to put it frankly, we need to be mindful of not sticking our nose in other people’s business, because their business will get stuck on our nose! Unless you want it in your life, turn away from it without feeling anything. You’ll not only be doing yourself a favor, but you’ll also be doing the other people a favor who don’t realize the negative effect gossip can have on their lives.
If you find yourself gossiping or listening to gossip, stop midsentence and say, “But I am so grateful that …” and finish the sentence with something good about the person being gossiped about.
“If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.”
Gautama Buddha
(563-483 BC)
FOUNDER OF BUDDHISM
Your Reaction Chooses It
Life is presenting every person and circumstance to you so you can choose what you love and what you don’t love. When you react to anything, you are reacting with your feelings, and as you do, you are choosing it! Your reaction, whether good or bad, sticks it to you, and in effect, you are saying you want more of it! And so it’s important to watch how you react in your relationships, because whether you react with good or bad feelings, they’re the feelings you’re giving, and you will receive more of the same circumstances to make you feel that way.
If a person says or does something, and you find yourself feeling upset, offended, or angry, do your best to change the negative reaction right away. Simply being aware that you’ve reacted negatively takes the power out of the negative feelings immediately and can even stop them. But if you feel as though the negative feelings have a grip on you, it is best to walk away and spend a couple of minutes looking for the things you love, one after the other until you feel much better. You can use anything you love to make you feel better, like listening to your favorite music, imagining the things you love, or doing something you love. You can also think about the things you love in the person who upset you. This might be challenging, but if you can do it, it is the fastest way to feel better. It’s also the fastest way to become the master of your feelings!