The Prince Charming Hoax (20 page)

“
You know, I
’
m sorry I told you about this at all. Let
’
s just keep our relationship professional for now. Call me if you have any clients that need copy writing and I
’
ll let you know if I need an illustrator. I
’
ll see you around, Jonathan.
”
Leah slammed down the phone.

“
Of all the nerve! Jonathan doesn
’
t want to me to be with anyone else, but he didn
’
t want me enough to commit himself, either.
You can
’
t have it both ways, asshole,
”
Leah yelled at the phone.

But it shook her faith in her decision to have three people she respected tell her she was making a mistake. And it bothered her that she lied to Ali—well, not exactly lied, but stretched the truth. She told her daughter Doug and his wife were separated and in the process of getting a divorce. A matter of semantics, she reasoned. They did live in separate rooms, and they were getting a divorce—even if Amanda didn
’
t know it yet.

Leah had a sudden unsettling flash. What if
she
were the one who was going to get dumped, but didn
’
t know it? No, she shook her head. She and Doug were meant to be together. He was so good for her. Her writing was flourishing, and she already had the outline for her book proposal done.

Leah smiled and started to reread Doug
’
s emails, which were filled with love and
“
impure
”
thoughts, as he called them. She kept their written exchanges private, but she knew if her brother or her friends could read Doug
’
s letters, they would understand.

They couldn
’
t see how he looked at her or know how he made her feel.
“
They are wrong, all of them. I know him and they don
’
t. And one day they will see that I am right.
”

Leah pushed aside the feeling that her words sounded empty, even to herself.

Chapter
19

Leah felt a soft nuzzling on her neck and, in her sleep, turned toward the warmth. A foul smell startled her and she sat up, heart pounding.
“
Ugh, Mitzi! Get away from me with your doggy breath!
”
The room was dark and it took a few moments for her eyes to adjust. She must have fallen asleep on the couch reading the DDD emails.

Although she couldn
’
t remember what she
’
d been dreaming, she knew from the anxiety she felt that she had been having a nightmare.

Mitzi was whimpering.
“
Poor Mitzi. I suppose you want to be walked and fed. It
’
s a good thing you can
’
t talk or your owners probably would have rushed home by now and kicked me out.
”
Leah looked around at the foliage.
“
Well I haven
’
t killed you or any of the plants—yet.
”

After Leah took care of Mitzi
’
s needs, she sat down on the couch again and thumbed through the pages of printed emails, which she had placed in two fat binders earlier in the day. Having already read every one, Leah decided to scan over them again to look for the signals she missed during their affair. What had she overlooked while in her love stupor?

To: Leah
Date: October 30

Subject: Good morning

Good morning, beautiful princess. I woke early and, as usual, thought immediately of you. Today was especially painful, to be alone again after our beautiful weekend together. I was thinking how much I love to have you next to me, talking, walking along the beach or a city
street, anywhere. I feel open and complete when we are physically together. I keep thinking of how beautiful and sexy you look and how I want to caress and kiss every part of you.

There is now and always has been something about you that I find irresistible. It is not just your beauty. I have always felt a special connection with you, something unique and rare. For so long a part of me has been incomplete because I thought I could not fulfill this needy part of me. I am so glad you are here in my life again. I love you passionately and forever, Doug

To: Doug
Date: October 30

Subject: Re: Good morning

My wonderful precious prince, you melt me. I feel such heat within me now that if you were here, I would pour myself all over you. As it is, I can only close my eyes and wrap myself around you in my mind and remember how you taste and feel and fill me. Doug, I can hardly breathe, I ache so much for you. You are the love of my life and everything I do, every thought I have, is to please you—that is my desire, to make you as fulfilled as you make me. I love you beyond belief, L.

To: Leah
Date: November 15

Subject: Missing you

Besides missing you, I am having a horrible weekend, made worse by the fact that we were supposed to be together. And, knowing that now I won
’
t see you until the first week of December is unbearable.

I almost had the chance to call you, but decided against it because I
’
m very depressed. It is amazing how mental illness in one member of a household can have such a profound effect on the other members of the family. It is my problem and I am very hesitant to burden you with any of it, but I do not want you thinking that my foul mood or lack of affection has anything to do with us. I will explain more at the right time.

How was your day? I hope it was wonderful because that would cheer me up. I keep fantasizing about being there with you. I can
’
t wait to call you tomorrow morning. I love you so, Doug

To: Doug
Date: November 15

Subject: Re: Missing you

I am sending millions of hugs and kisses to make you feel better. Do not ever feel that you are in any way a burden to me. You have literally turned my life around. The difference in my attitude before Oct. 10 and now is unbelievable and the entire reason for my return to the living is YOU. I cannot emphasize enough how significant an effect you have on me. Please let me be there for you.

I love you and miss you terribly. I
’
m grateful that Ali and I are going to Philly to be with my brother and family for Thanksgiving. I don
’
t know how I would make it through until December without seeing you if it weren
’
t for that.
We will have to be sure to get a lot of loving in during your next visit. Until then, know that I love you with all my heart. I want and need and love you forever and always, L.

To: Doug
Date: November 27

Subject: good morning

I fell asleep thinking about you. I dreamt of you. I awoke thinking of you.

I reread our emails from last night. I like surrounding myself in you. I am visualizing the hot, passionate sex and the long walks, cozy snuggling, and day-to-day life we could be sharing.

But my thoughts also touch on that which I don
’
t know about, the mystery part of our relationship—what I don
’
t know about your life and you don
’
t know about mine. I am uneasy about it and want very much for us to be open about that as well. It
’
s an undeniable part of us and ignoring it doesn
’
t make it go away.

My fear is not the unknown of the future, but of the present. I hope you understand what I
’
m trying to tell you. I
’
m not asking for answers, only information. I certainly want to share these things in person, but these long separations bring to the surface the nagging fear of what
’
s left unsaid.

I love you so much that I want you to know all about me...what I think about, my fears, hopes, realities, and dreams. And, of course, I deeply desire to know all of you. You are my True Love and I am Yours. I love you forever and always, L

To: Leah
Date: November 27

Subject: Re: good morning

Please try not to worry. I will tell you everything soon. I am trying to do everything the right way so that we can emerge from this and start a life together on solid ground.
In a few short days we
’
ll be together again. I can
’
t wait to drive you to new heights of pleasure and closeness. I love you tremendously, Doug

To:
Doug
Date:
November 27

Subject: Phone calls/emails

I did love getting your extra emails and phone messages today. I always do, but your extra effort today was wonderful. I
’
m not really
“
worried
”
about your feelings, but I do think about what you
’
re doing, where you are, and who you
’
re with. It
’
s part of having you on my mind so much. Most of the time my thoughts are of us in bed, on the beach, in a restaurant, or just relaxing together and enjoying each other. It has been said that what you think about all the time will come to pass. So I try to keep very vivid, positive images of us together as a couple prominent in my thoughts at all times. I look forward to making new memories, in new places—but always with you.

It is true, though, that I
’
m running out of steam and patience with regard to not being able to see you and be with you. Our short but intense visits have served to refuel me and hold me over while we
’
re apart. But now much time has passed and I need you, need to be with you, hold you, and have you fill me with your being. I need a large dose of Doug, I do. Please don
’
t think me weak or silly, I just love you very much.

In the meantime, keep those calls and emails coming. They keep me grounded. I love you forever and always in all ways, L

To:
Leah
Date:
November 27

Subject:
Worried!

Now I am worried that I will not be able to keep your interest in this relationship with its distance in time and geography. I know that it is hard, my love, believe me. But I know that this is the real thing and worth all of the difficult times. Please don
’
t give up. I love you in so many ways, Doug

To:
Doug
Date
:
November 27

Subject:
Re: Worried!

Do not worry! When I said losing patience, I meant with the situation, not with you. I am not giving up anything, especially you. This email communication leads to too much misinterpretation. There is no one or nothing else that I want as much as I want to be with you. That is what is making me crazy. If you
’
d give the OK, I would be there NOW. I can be strong, I can be patient, but I want to see you. Giving up? I don
’
t think so. I only want you to know how badly I miss you and want to be with you.

I
’
m not asking you to make major changes before you can. I just need to know more about what
’
s going on. I thought you
’
d be pleased that I miss you so much. You say you feel the same way, so why is it so hard for you to understand my frustration?

PLEASE find a way to call me tomorrow when you
’
re in the car. We need to talk to one another and there
’
s never an opportunity to get more than a few sentences in while you
’
re in the office. I love you, Doug. Do not doubt me, my love, or my intentions. You are my True Love forever and always, L

To:
Leah Gold
Date:
November 28

Subject:
Re: Worried!

Thank you for calming my insecurities. I love you so much and your email is much appreciated. I already have a conference call scheduled this morning during my drive, but I
’
ll call you on my way home tonight. Evening rush hour traffic should give us at least an hour together. Love, Doug

To: Doug
Date:
December 6

Subject:
Re: Paris?

My love, you have made my day, my life! What a lovely surprise—and so soon after our weekend together! Oui, Oui, Oui, of course I will meet you in Paris!! It would have been nice to have more time to prepare (shop), but I
’
ll make it work!

I
’
m off to the bank to get my passport from the safety deposit box, plus run a dozen other errands—can
’
t wait to talk to you tonight to finalize the plans.

Mon Amour Adieu, L

To: Doug
Date
:
December 19

Subject:
Lonely &
Missing you

As I sit here on my bed amid the books, chocolates, jewelry, and clothing you lavished on me during our trip, I feel little joy. I
’
d trade every last thing I stuffed into my suitcase on the return trip from France and more to spend these two last weeks of the year by your side. Knowing that you are home with your family until after the first of the year makes it even worse, because you
’
ll have less time for calls and emails. Yes, I can fill my time just like I did my suitcase, but nothing and no one else can fill my emptiness as you can.
:(
, L

To: Doug
Date: December 19

Subject: Lonely & Missing you, Part 2

After some tea and a few of those exquisite chocolates, I
’
m feeling much better. I
’
m still in bed and with my eyes closed. I can imagine you here with me…it
’
s you in my mouth, hard with sweet fluid dripping on my tongue. I love your taste and swallowing your juices. Now you
’
re in me, filling my insides with warmth, satisfying my desire, my aching. Have I told you I love kissing your hardness after you
’
ve been in me and tasting me on you? Everything about you turns me on, your taste, smell, and feel. I like that we look at one another while making love. I like to watch myself slide up and down on you when I
’
m on top of you. You bring out a desire in me to open myself entirely and share my being with you.