The Prince Charming Hoax (24 page)

“
You can still move into the corporate apartment, but we
’
ll have to keep under the radar for a little while longer. Please, Leah, work with me on this.
”

She felt sick. Her head was swimming from the drinks and the news. She wanted to leave, but she knew she
’
d never be able to drive back to Hollywood in this condition.

Leah nodded her head, while she figured out what she could do to make through this evening and get home without killing herself on the highway. No way was she staying overnight with him. No way.

She made it through an awkward dinner. She forced herself to eat and drank water instead of wine with dinner. When they left the restaurant, he put his arm around her and tried to steer to the elevators and up to his room.

Leah broke away.
“
I
’
ve got to get home. Ali has final exams, and we
’
re going shopping for her prom dress.
”
She stood on her toes and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“
Bye, Doug.
”

She remembered little of her drive home except that she focused on not speeding and staying in one lane, but her little temper-tantrum scene upon returning home was etched in her memory.

It was painful reliving the events of the last nine months. She wished she could transport herself back in time with the knowledge of the future so she could change is everything...or would she? Was there some weird cosmic reason that she needed to experience these failed relationships in order to come to this place? She took out her journal and fanned the pages until she found her entry after her last evening with Doug. She reread from that page through to her entry earlier in the day.

Then took out her favorite gel pen and began to write.

July 31 1:08 a.m.

Why is it that love is blind and only hindsight is 20-20?

It
’
s clear that Doug and I both had fairy-tale fantasies we wanted to live out. He was my Prince Charming, riding in to save the day. I was his Dream Girl—the pretty, talented female he only dared to imagine would be interested in him.

I am angry that he let me involve myself so deeply with him when he knew all along he wasn
’
t leaving. He led me to believe a real relationship was possible. And he told me he loved me—always and forever—and that all his other relationships paled in comparison. Not words to be taken lightly.

I must let this relationship go. But, where do I go from here? I cannot go on as I am, dulling my feelings and just letting things take their course. I must press for truth, answers.

I don
’
t want to continue having one man after another in my life. What prevents me from finding the happiness and fulfillment I so desperately want?

I know I am not the only woman to feel this way. I have pages of transcripts from the interviews I did with dozens of women who expressed the same feeling—that something was missing from their lives. Maybe the reason so many relationships fail is because women continually try to fill their inner void with a man. It is an impossible burden to place on another person. Until we learn to fill ourselves first, we will continually be disappointed.

Leah dropped her pen. The material that she needed for herself and her book—the truth about women
’
s frustrations, dreams, and greatest desires—was right in front of her within the interview transcripts and her journals. And, it wasn
’
t about men after all, but would anyone believe her?

Leah began reorganizing her papers at an almost frenzied pace, highlighting quotes and making notes in the margins. She was in her fiftieth year. It wasn
’
t like she had another half century to figure out how to get what she—and every woman—wanted.

Chapter
20

“
Have you ever noticed that what we consider terrific in a man would be less than adequate in a woman?
”
Leah asked Roxie. They sat at a small table squeezed between the bar and the dance floor at Kiwi
’
s on Las Olas Boulevard, drinking martinis and enjoying a long overdue Girls Night Out at the well-attended Friday night happy hour.

Roxie surveyed the crowded room.
“
I don
’
t know about that. I see some pretty hot prospects here.
”
She broke into a smile as she caught the eye of one particularly good-looking possibility at the bar.

Leah waited until she had Roxie
’
s full attention again.
“
That
’
s not what I mean.
”

“
What, then?
”

Leah leaned in so Roxie could hear her over the live music.
“
I
’
ve spent the last twenty-four hours going through the transcripts of the brunches I held when I was collecting material for my book, and what jumped out at me after reviewing all those women
’
s stories is that we are so hard on ourselves and so forgiving of men. We give them the right to have faults—in fact we purposely look the other way to their shortcomings—yet we crucify ourselves over some slight self-perceived inadequacy. And worse, we project the same scrutiny on other women.
”

Roxie reached across the table and put her hand over Leah
’
s.
“
Leah, you are spending way too much time alone. I
’
m glad you agreed to come out tonight. You need it.
”

Leah pulled her hand back.
“
Don
’
t mock me, Rox. I
’
m serious.
”

“
Come on. I
’
m not mocking you. But we
’
re here to have fun tonight. So let
’
s stop pondering the plight of women for a while and live out our fantasies.
”
Roxie
’
s eyes danced as she smiled with vixen glee.

Leah leaned back in her barstool and took the last sips of her martini.
“
All right,
”
she acquiesced.
“
So, how do you plan to live out your fantasies?
”

Roxie drained her glass and motioned to the passing waitress to bring them two more.
“
I didn
’
t have time to talk this morning. But, now I can tell you all about my evening with D.J. last night.
”

“
Yeah, yeah. You told me it was a great night of wild sex. I
’
m already jealous. Do you mean there
’
s more?
”

Roxie leaned in closer and dropped her voice.
“
Leah,
wild
doesn
’
t even begin to describe what we did last night. Like I said, I couldn
’
t talk this morning, especially at work, but—
”
Roxie waited for the waitress to clear their table and put down the second round. Then she described in detail her evening from the moment she stepped through D.J.
’
s front door to when Nicky started to get very familiar with Belle on the chaise.

Up to that point, Leah was only mildly interested. They frequently exchanged the intimate details of their sex lives, but this was certainly something new. Suddenly, Roxie
’
s story became much more exciting.
“
You
’
re kidding. You actually saw him put his fingers inside her while they were sitting next to you?

“
Absolutely.
”

“
What did you do?
”

“
D.J. suggested I help in the kitchen with dinner, so we sort of exited. Not that it would have made a difference to them.
”

“
I guess not. Now, that
’
s something most couples don
’
t do in front of people they just met. In fact, most couples don
’
t do that in front of people they
’
ve known for years! So, what happened next?
”

“
While we watched them go at it full force on the patio from the kitchen, D.J. explained to me that this is what he
’
s into.
”

“
What? Watching other people screw?
”

“
No! Having sex openly in front of and with other people. He asked me how I felt about it. No pressure, he just wanted to know if I was into it or not.
”

“
And what did you say?
”

“
Well, it hit me like a light bulb going off that this was the
‘
secret
’
I suspected he had. At first, I was kind of incredulous, like
‘
Wow! Really?
’
But when D.J. assured me that this something we would do together as a couple, I have to tell you, Leah, I found myself excited. I had to check it out.
”

“
Roxie, what did you do?
”

“
We all got into the hot tub naked with our drinks and hung out for a while talking. I noticed Belle had a boob job. Those perfectly round bosoms were just floating atop the water like two buoys. I asked her about it, and she asked me if I wanted to touch them to see what they feel like.
”

“
Did you?
”

“
Yeah. Guys have told me that they can feel the implants and that basically fake boobs look better than they feel, so I wanted to see for myself. At first it was more clinical than sexual. I asked her how it felt to her to be touched, you know, if her boobs were more or less sensitive than before.
”

“
One thing I
’
ve noticed is that women with fake boobs love to show and tell,
”
Leah said.
“
Every woman I know who has done it feels perfectly free to lift up her top and show them off like they
’
re some prize possession rather than part of her anatomy. And I
’
ve also noticed that their nipples are huge! Were Belle
’
s?
”

“
Yes. And when I moved closer to touch them, one of the water jets hit me right between the legs and I got quite a tingle, which I guess made my nipples perk up. Belle laughed and we started comparing our breasts. Then the touching and rubbing began to get more sensual. We had this water swirling under us, stimulating our bottoms, and I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy her touch as I raised myself up and down on the water jets.
”

“
What were D.J. and Nicky doing while this was going on?
”

“
I felt a hard dick between my legs and knew right away it wasn
’
t D.J. Nicky slipped it in me from behind and we started fucking like dogs on the hot tub steps. I could see D.J. touching Belle as she spread her legs open to the jets. Then she went down on him. My eyes met D.J.
’
s and we had this kind of magical connection where we shared our pleasure with each other. I know it sounds strange, Leah, but it was the most intimate moment I
’
ve ever shared with a man.

“
But your pleasure was coming from other people!
”

“
I can
’
t explain it other than to say it didn
’
t matter. Those other people were just servicing us, like a using a vibrator or some other stimulant during sex.
”

“
And afterward?
”

“
When we were done, we all went inside and snacked on the dinner D.J. had ordered. Then Belle and Nicky went home, and D.J. and I had the most loving, sensitive sex we
’
ve ever had.
”

Leah twirled the twist of lemon in her martini with the stirrer. She looked straight at Roxie at the end of the story.
“
Do you think you
’
ll do it again? The switching, I mean.
”

“
Well, yeah. In fact, that
’
s what their mysterious club is all about. We
’
re going there tomorrow night.
”

Leah was accustomed to Roxie
’
s escapades, but was uncomfortable with this proposed lifestyle change. She leaned in closer.
“
You
’
re going back to the place where that women drugged your drink? Are you crazy?
”

“
It
’
s not like that happens all the time, Leah. There are no illegal drugs there. That
’
s one of the reasons they kicked that woman Rita out for good.
”

“
So you think it
’
s safe now?
”

“
I know it. Lots of high profile people belong to this club, and they want this part of their lives kept very private. They can
’
t risk exposing themselves to something like a drug bust. D.J. assured me that they
’
re really strict about it. In fact, they don
’
t even sell liquor there. The members bring their own booze and the bartender just serves it, like when you hire someone to serve at a party.
”

Leah sat back in her chair, finished her drink, and set the glass down on the small table. The waitress started back to their table, but Leah motioned her away.

“
I don
’
t know, Rox. I
’
ve known you a long time, and you
’
ve never mentioned a desire to explore this kind of life to me before.
”

Roxie straightened her shoulders in a defensive pose, like she was positioning herself for an oncoming attack.

“
What are you saying, Leah?
”

“
Are you doing this because you really want to, or because you think D.J. will dump you if you don
’
t?
”

Roxie
’
s eyes narrowed. She grabbed the edge of the table and pushed her chair out until arms were straight out and her back arched in the feline predatory position.
“
You know, I had a feeling you were going to say something like that. I knew you
’
d disapprove.
”

Leah didn
’
t flinch.
“
Hey, you don
’
t need my approval, Roxie. Besides, this isn
’
t a moral objection. I
’
m just not convinced that you
’
re as into this as you say you are, that
’
s all.
”

“
Can
’
t you understand that I
’
ve finally found a guy who
’
s like me, who likes living on the edge—being daring, taking chances, seeing where things lead without being tied to some security or sure thing. If you
’
re so hung up on analyzing my motivation, that
’
s it!
”

Leah brushed aside the accusation with a wave of her hand.
“
I
’
m not hung up on anything.
”

Roxie feigned a laugh.
“
You are hung up on
everything.
”

Leah stood up, grabbed some money out of her purse, and threw it on the table.
“
Then find someone else to spend your evening with if I
’
m such bad company.
”

As she made her way through the crowded room, she heard Roxie yell after her,
“
Go ahead, run away, and take your damn cloud of doom with you!
”