Read The Prince of Neither Here Nor There Online
Authors: Sean Cullen
“Kim!” Brendan shouted. “Stop!”
Kim paused and looked at Brendan. “Why should I?”
Brendan looked up at terrified little Skreet, clinging to a pipe above them. He knew what it was like to be small and helpless. In his mind’s eye, he saw Chester Dallaire poised to smack him with the Murderball, the bully’s eyes filled with triumph. He shook his head.
“It isn’t his fault. He just did what I asked. It’s my fault. You warned me to be specific and I wasn’t.”
“I admire your empathy.” Kim looked at him thoughtfully for a moment then she frowned and lowered the club. “I still think he deserves a kicking.”
Skreet cautiously flitted within range, his eyes suspicious. When he saw that no one was going to hit him, he cocked his head and looked at Brendan in open curiosity. “That’s not the way it’s supposed to be. You’re supposed to get angry. Curse me to the Seven Pits and the four Fiery Infernos and the Endless Voids.”
“I’m too tired,” Brendan said.
Skreet darted over and tugged at Brendan’s soiled lapel. “Thank you, good sir, kind Friend, Noble Bargainer. You are truly a good-hearted soul.”
“And you are not,” Brendan said fiercely. “You’ve led us to a dead end. You’ve led us to our deaths. Thanks for nothing. Here’s your payment.” He held out a single white morsel of gum.
“Whhhhaaaaat!
You said the whole pack!”
“No,” Brendan said smugly. “I said gum. Never how much gum, only gum. Be happy I don’t give you half a piece.”
Skreet frowned but he nodded. “Fair is fair.” He snatched the piece of gum from Brendan’s fingers. “Oooo, you are shrewd. Shrewd, I say, and no mistake. Still! You are kind. Skreet will not forget, Brendan, Boon Companion.” With a final circuit of Brendan’s head, Skreet sped away between the narrow bars of a ventilation grating.
Brendan wished he could escape the same way when the howl sounded in his ears. It was loud even over the sound of the machinery. Alas, the vent shaft was far too small to admit him or Kim. The howling increased in volume and ferocity.
“They’re almost here! What are we going to do?” Brendan shouted. Kim held her field hockey stick out in front of her in both hands, ready to defend the entrance. Brendan searched through the chamber for another way out. He spotted a set of metal doors. He ran across the room, ducking under the massive pipes, and threw himself against the doors. They didn’t budge. He grabbed the metal handle and tried to turn it. It was locked tight.
“Come on, Kim! Help me!” The howling was dangerously close now. He grabbed the door handle and heaved with all his might. The handle came off and he fell hard on his butt. He scrambled to his feet. “Use your magic hockey stick, why don’t you?”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? Grow one of those thorny hedges. Slow them down.”
Kim shook her head. “Doesn’t work that way. I can only manipulate green things that already exist. I can’t create them out of thin air.”
Brendan thought back to the encounter in the parking lot. All of the briars had grown out of that one slip of a plant in the pavement crack.
“So what now?”
She dropped her knapsack to the floor, straightened her kilt, and spat in her hands.
“What are we going to do?” Brendan cried to Kim as he rejoined her in front of the dark mouth of the corridor.
“I’m going to face them here,” Kim said grimly. “I’m away from my element. The good news is, so is Orcadia. She’s a member of the Skyclan. They thrive in the open where they can draw on the open air. It’ll be the Kobolds that give me the most trouble. I’ll try to hold them off as long as I can. Just stay behind me.”
Brendan wanted to say that it wasn’t much of a plan but there didn’t seem to be any point. It was his fault they were stuck in this dead end. Now they were going to be torn apart by some crazy devil things and he couldn’t do a thing to save himself. He looked up at the hatch on the side of the pipe.
“Why not?” he said gloomily. “It can’t be any worse than being eaten by dogs.” He ran up the metal stairs to the hatchway and started to spin the wheel.
“What are you doing?” Kim demanded.
“I’m opening the pipe,” Brendan said. “Maybe there’s some way we can ride this flow out into the lake. Then we’ll at least have a small chance of surviving.”
The wheel turned easily because the machinery was new and well maintained. When the wheel stopped moving, he hauled the door open. A small amount of water poured out over his shoes. He had expected a torrent but there was only a trickle. Looking inside, he saw that there was another chamber big enough for a man to stand upright and a wheeled hatch on the far wall.
For maintenance. Like an airlock on a submarine. They would get into this chamber wearing scuba gear, flood the chamber, and go into the pipe to fix it.
He turned to shout his discovery to Kim. “Hey, Kim. Maybe we could—”
“Never mind me. Just go, Brendan!”
A long, triumphant howl froze his blood. He spun and looked down at Kim. She was backing toward the metal steps.
He looked to the doorway they’d entered from. At first, he could see nothing in the dark mouth of the corridor. Then he heard a wet snuffling, huffing sound. Shadows separated themselves from the greater darkness, and poking snouts sniffed tentatively into the room. Satisfied, the creatures edged into the light. The Kobolds had found them.
64
Kitsune Kai
is a Fox Spirit renowned in the Faerie World. Japanese Fair Folk tend to be shape- shifters, capable of taking animal form whenever they choose. Kai is one of the most powerful of all Japanese Fair Folk.
65
Lesser Faeries
are tiny relatives of the Fair Folk. They vary in shape and appearance but they often resemble tiny animals or birds or even fish. They survive by pretending to be members of these mundane species. Lesser Faeries are far more numerous than Fair Folk. No one knows exactly how many of them there are in the world because they refuse to sit still long enough to be counted.
66
Any person who strikes a bargain with a Lesser Faerie becomes their Boon Companion for as long as the bargain lasts.
DOWN THE TUBES
Four of the creatures faced them. Brendan had been expecting fantastical beasts but they were more like the hyenas he’d seen at the zoo: large dogs with the colouring of pit bulls, dark brown with lighter brindle stripes. Saliva dripped from their gaping jaws as they stood panting on the concrete floor. They raised their muzzles and their nostrils flared. Brendan had never seen dogs with eyes like these, yellow as topaz and glinting with intelligence. They bared their sharp teeth, saliva drooling in thick ropes from their underslung jaws, and growled deep in their chests as they sighted Kim and Brendan.
“Far enough,” Kim’s voice rang out. She raised the stick above her head. “Just stay right there.”
As one, they howled, a deafening sound that echoed off the concrete walls of the room, drowning out the sound of the pumps. The howl decayed into a series of sharp yaps that sounded like laughter.
“I’m warning you,” Kim snarled. “One more step and you’ll regret it.”
Brendan gasped as the coats of the dogs began to ripple and flow. As one, the dogs reared up on their hind legs. Before Brendan’s astonished eyes, the dogs transformed into bipedal humanoids. They were all dressed in furs, roughly sewn together into garments. Tall triangular ears flicked back and forth at the top of their flat skulls. All of them had long noses with wide, flat nostrils. Feral yellow eyes glared at Kim, warily watching the stick as it circled above her head.
They suddenly began laughing, a harsh barking sound that set Brendan’s teeth on edge.
“Ooooo! She’s got a stick!” one cackled.
“Oh, how terrifying!” another howled.
The Kobolds began to yip uncontrollably, rolling on the floor and nipping at each other.
“Laugh your heads off, if you like,” Kim said evenly. “But if you come any closer, you’ll regret it.”
One of the Kobolds shook himself and got to his feet. “Oh, we ain’t going to come any closer,” he snarled. “We was just told to find you, corner you. The mistress will be here right quick to take you in hand, my darling. But you do look very tasty …” He licked his lips with a long pink tongue.
“Out of our way!” Kim demanded.
“Now!”
The Kobolds cringed at the sound of her commanding voice. They were part dog, after all. Brendan began to think they might have a chance, but then he heard Orcadia’s icy voice.
“I don’t think so, Ki-Mata.” Orcadia sauntered into the room, looking cold and beautiful in her midnight leathers. The Kobolds scampered to her side. She absently scratched each of them behind the ears as though they were harmless puppies rather than intelligent beings.
“Dear girl, you’ve led us a merry chase but it’s over now. Greenleaf was a nuisance but I sent him off with his tail between his legs. Now I have you. You can’t escape. Let me have him and you may go back to your clan. We don’t want conflict.”
“Are you joking? Conflict is all you’ve ever wanted,” Kim spat. “He is my responsibility until I get him to sanctuary. I intend to accomplish my task.”
“Foolish girl. You’ll never make it to the Swan.” Orcadia’s tone darkened. “You are literally out of your element. Forest magic has no place here. Your tricks won’t work here. Look around you.” Orcadia waved a hand at the sterile room, concrete and metal lit by harsh fluorescence. Wires ran along the walls. “Not a single growing thing for you to manipulate. Your discipline is not suited to this place. That stick in your hand is exactly that—a stick. Now hand over the boy before I become impatient.” She laughed again.
“You’re as out of your element as I am, Orcadia. There’s no sky above you, or hadn’t you noticed?”
Orcadia smirked. “The Humans have been so kind as to bring the sky to me.” She raised an elegant finger and a crackling bolt of blue fire arced from an electrical wire passing along the ceiling above to dance upon her fingertip. “Handy, isn’t it? The game is up.” She sniffed. “Or are you expecting the boy to help you?” Her icy eyes focused on Brendan, and his heart quailed. “He may have gifts but he has no idea how to use them. He’s as helpless as a baby.”
Kim stood poised in readiness. Brendan sensed his friend’s uncertainty. He had no idea what the two Faeries were talking about, but he got the feeling that what Orcadia said was true. Kim needed help.
Maybe he had lost some basic survival instinct. Perhaps he’d finally lost his mind. Whatever the reason, he felt the same kind of anger and frustration that he’d felt when Chester held the Murderball over his head. He was tired of helplessness. He was tired of running. He was tired of being spoken about as if he weren’t there. The anger overcame his fear, and he stepped out of the hatchway.
“Listen, you weird, crazy … crazy woman!” He couldn’t think of anything more articulate. “I don’t know who you think you are,” Brendan said, growing louder and more confident as he spoke. “I don’t know who you think I am. I don’t care. This is over right now. I have had it with running! I’m done! So you just take your stinking, drooling …
dogs
and get out of here!”
The Kobolds howled with laughter and began their yapping mockery anew. Brendan expected Orcadia to laugh in his face. The effect on the woman was completely unexpected.
“Ugnh,” Orcadia grunted, as if she’d been struck. “Ugnnnooo! How? How can he …?”Orcadia took a jerky step backward. Then another. “He’s Compelled me? He has the Voice of Command? How?” She took another step back. Her arms went out and gripped the concrete doorframe as though she was made of metal and a giant magnet was pulling her back into the corridor. The Kobolds stopped their racket and stared at their mistress in whimpering confusion. Their eyes flicked back and forth between Orcadia and Brendan. They didn’t know what to do.
Brendan stood with his mouth open in shock. A wave of dizziness swept over him. He felt leaden and fatigued. “What’s her problem? Why is she …?” The look on Kim’s face stopped him. Kim was looking at him with undisguised amazement. “What did I do?”
“You Compelled her,” Kim said, mounting the steel steps. “But she’s trying to resist it.”
“Compelled her? I don’t understand.”
Kim looked at Brendan with what might have been a grudging respect. “You’re a bag of surprises. You have no training but it would appear you have some raw talent. You did the same thing with Chester on the school steps today. Remember?”
Brendan recalled the stricken look on Chester’s face and the way the bully had run off without a backward glance. “Are you kidding me?
I
did
that?”
He looked at Orcadia, who was straining against some invisible force. “Me?”
“Yes, pal. You. And now we have to get out of here before she overcomes the Command.” Kim pushed past him and looked into the hatch. “This will have to do.”
Brendan was still focused on Orcadia as she strained to control the urge to leave. “That’s insane. I did that?”
“Congratulations—now can
we
get out of here?” Kim said, her voice heavy with sarcasm. She grabbed Brendan by the arm and swung him around until he was in the hatch. “Open that up.” She pointed at the inside hatch. “That’s our way out.”
“Are you nuts? It goes right down into the middle of the lake. We’ll drown!”
Kim grabbed the front of his shirt and shouted in his face. “We don’t have any choice. At least we can get in and close the door. We’ll be safe for a while until I can call for help.” Kim shoved him backward into the chamber. His heels caught on the frame of the hatch, and he fell with a splash in the cold water on the floor of the chamber. Kim threw her knapsack in after him, whacking Brendan in the back of the head.
He pulled himself to his feet using the wheel of the inner hatch. “There’s no need to—” He didn’t get to finish: the world detonated.
He was thrown against the inner hatch, his head banging painfully on the hard surface. Blue light washed over him. He shook his head to clear it, looking out into the room.
Orcadia hovered in the air. All around her the floor was scorched. The Kobolds whined and cringed away from their master, terrified by the release of energy. Kim’s hair danced in the storm of static electricity but she still stood, barring the way.