The Private Stable [Iron Spur Ranch 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (15 page)

“Someone will see.”

“It makes no matter to me.” He was going to say she was his, but she wasn’t. Should he stake a claim? He already drove himself mad wondering if other cowboys were hitting on her, even Damien himself. Jealousy was never an issue with him until Rachel showed up on the ranch. Women asked for
him
, and if he felt like it, he’d participate in the private stable. Now he had one thing on his mind—
Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.

“But—”

“Do you like it? Do you like my hands on your tits?”

She swallowed hard, her breathing suddenly heavier. Little Ms. Innocent liked dirty talk. He could see it in the way her pupils dilated and how her lips slightly parted, as if she couldn’t get enough air to breathe. Deep down, she harbored an uninhibited woman who thrived off raw sensuality. He wanted her unshackled and released.

“You haven’t talked to me in days, not even a word.”

“I was thinking.” He continued to fondle her, and she had yet to push him away.

“About what? How fat I am? How you could do much better? Or how settling down with one woman would ruin what you’ve got going on?”

“You don’t know me at all, little one. What you see isn’t always what you get.”

She reached up and held him by the shirt. He hadn’t seen her so passionate about anything. “Then what were you thinking?”

“That one woman could change everything.”

Rachel didn’t want to be used by Wyatt, not when he affected her so profoundly. She wanted him, had since the first day she showed up on the ranch. But he’d pushed her away continually. She may have been isolated with Jason and not used to men, but she had common sense and dignity. There was no way she’d beg or keep allowing Wyatt to use her at his convenience only to forget her again each morning.

“When I came here, I wasn’t sure what I wanted besides a chance to start over. I ran away blindly, only looking at the destination. But I never considered the path, and it turned out to be the most important part of the journey.”

“Why’s that, darlin’?”

“I found you and Ethan.”

He shook he head, torment in his eyes. “There are people like me who go through life in a haze, lucky to get from one day to the next. We have no roots, no pictures on loved one’s walls.” His eyes darkened. “Then there’re people like you. Sweet, loving, and tender. You look for commitment, security, and love because it’s all you know.”

Was there a hint of bitterness in his tone? She wasn’t sure what she’d done wrong, but she didn’t like him thinking she was some type of little princess, either.

“I just gave you my heart on a platter, Wyatt. Is there a problem with love? Yeah, I had plenty of it as a child but only from my mother. Did I have it easy? No. We struggled every day of our lives. But every step in life is a journey, and I’ll never regret a day, even the very bad ones.”

All her worst memories, the chunks of time her mind mercifully blacked out, happened at the height of Jason’s abuse. When she was forced to remember, it shook Rachel to her very soul. All those feelings of terror and desperation would flood her mind, making her desperate to forget once again.

“You don’t want me, sweetheart. I promise you that. On the other hand, Ethan’s a great kid. It would be good for him to settle down.” He pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and tapped it against his palm, suddenly losing interest in his seduction. “I’d hate to see him turn out like me.”

“Don’t I get a choice?”

“You got what you wanted. You’re working on a first-class horse ranch even though you have no experience. You’ve escaped from whatever the hell you’re running from, and the boss’s sister has taken a liking to you. You’re golden, so you don’t need me.”

He actually started to walk away. She felt a rush of desperation flood her veins. Rachel wanted him. Needed him. His rejection only increased her desire to be his woman. She tagged after him and grabbed him by the sleeve. “Don’t go,” she said, her voice breathless. “Don’t leave me.”

She didn’t realize how much she’d emotionally invested in Ethan and Wyatt. Sex did change everything—for her, anyway.

“Darlin’, I have work to do. When you sign up to live on the Iron Spur Ranch, you sell a piece of your soul, never to get it back. If you were smart, you’d make a real life for yourself away from here.”

Away from
him.
She watched him walk away, forcing herself to stay in the same place.
Don’t beg, Rachel.
Every step he took beat on her heart, the hollow drumming making her feel more and more empty.
Why can’t you love me? Why can’t you give us a chance?
Rachel had so much to give, but no one had ever appreciated her or given her notice. Even with the obvious attraction between them, Wyatt still refused to give her the time of day.

At least she had Ethan. He was no second prize, but part of her knew she needed both men. They complimented each other and gave the ménage a unique spice. She chuckled to herself when she finally turned to walk away. If someone had told her she’d bed two men last week, she would have laughed out loud at the absurdity. Now it was her entire life.

She decided it was in her best interest to stay away from both men for the rest of the day, maybe longer. They were too rooted in her mind, and she needed to focus on things other than love. She had so much to learn to be the best she could be at her job. As much as Damien terrified her, she still wanted to make him proud by proving he wasn’t wrong in hiring her.

That night, she stood by the large bay windows at the back of the large house, watching the remnants of the sunset fade away. It amazed her how vulnerable she felt once darkness settled over the land. It was as if the sun itself took all her optimism and self-belief as it dipped below the horizon. Now she felt void and lonely.

“It’s a lovely view, isn’t it?” asked Isabella. Her heels punctuated each step as she entered on the ceramic-tiled floor.

“It’s my favorite room in the house.” But she’d still rather be in the men’s little trailer. This house was too big, too cold, too empty. She didn’t know how Isabella could stand it when she was so full of life.

“You’re upset. What happened?” Isabella sat on the ledge of the window, looking up at her. It was hard to hide her mood or even crack a smile.

“Nothing happened. I was just thinking about things.”

“Like what?”

“Everything. Getting older, finding myself, growing old alone.”

“I see…”

“How does Damien do it?” she asked. “He has no problem functioning and running his business without a family—no wife, no kids, no personal life that I can see.” If only she could block everything out and become a player in life without getting hurt. It would make life so uncomplicated.

“Damien’s complicated. But he’s not happy.”

“But he has everything.”

Isabella scoffed. “Everything and nothing. It’s like you said, you can’t enjoy the bounty with no one to share it with. My brother doesn’t even realize that he’s growing more and more bitter over the years.”

“Then why not find a woman? Lord knows he could probably get any woman he wants.”

“He’s had many, but I suppose the right one just hasn’t crossed his path. If he doesn’t stop being so picky, his window of opportunity will close. He’s not getting any younger.”

At least she wasn’t alone in her dilemma. She looked at Isabella, her beauty continually amazing her. Rachel wished she had half the appeal Isabella did. She must have been out riding before coming in because her black hair was windblown, all smoothed back, her cheeks slightly flushed.

She’d had enough talk about love and loneliness. Rachel wanted to move on to happier topics or at least something less sobering. “I thought you didn’t like to ride.”

“I don’t work the ranch, but I still love to ride. Actually, I was enjoying myself, catching the sunset out in the open fields. Unfortunately, one of my brother’s lackeys found me and ruined it. He chased me all the way back home, and my horse is still wet.”

“Steel?”

Isabella’s interest piqued, and she cocked her head to one side. “How do you know that?”

“He was here earlier, talking to Damien. I heard them from the next room over.”

“Steel’s my brother’s muscle. Anything Damien says, Steel gets it done.” Then she added, “Like forcing me to come home early from my vacation.” She stood up again, stretched, and made her way to the door. “It’s getting late.”

“Good night. Thanks for everything.”

* * * *

“You’re ruining this for me!” Ethan shouted after Wyatt came in for the night.

“Take it easy, cowboy. I’ve had a long day.” Wyatt kicked off his boots and attempted to sit in his favorite chair, but Ethan pushed him off balance. He toppled down on his ass, quickly righting himself and barreling forward.

“Too slow, old man.” Although just shy of a decade separated them in age, he loved to push Wyatt’s buttons. Tonight Ethan was especially pissed off with his friend. Rachel was finally giving in to his advances. He thought about their intimate moment in the hay barn before Wyatt showed up. Ethan knew Rachel had a candle burning for the other man, but for some reason Wyatt wanted nothing to do with her. Or wouldn’t admit to his real feelings. It made no sense. There was fire in Wyatt’s eyes when he mentioned Rachel. She was something special, a woman for the both of them, a binding agent guaranteeing both of them a future worth reaching for.

Wyatt braced an arm against the wall, his features set hard. “Stop toying with me or you’ll get hurt.”

“I don’t even know you anymore. What happened to the ranch stud? Both nights we had her in the trailer you couldn’t even get it up.”

Wyatt’s jaw twitched as he ground his molars down hard. “Unlike you, I’m not ready to fuck anything that walks. I tend to think of things like consequences and repercussions.”

“Like what? Actually being happy? Having a woman to call your own?”

“I don’t need anyone.” His friend pushed by him, opening the fridge door to grab a beer. “Certainly not some troubled city girl.” He cracked open the top of the bottle on the counter and dropped down on the sofa.

Ethan didn’t want to fight anymore. Not with his emotions on his sleeve. His parents always taught him never to argue in anger, to let level heads prevail. He exhaled his irritation and settled on his bunk, looking up at the slat rails. He hoped for a decent night’s sleep. The branding of new stock started soon, and he had to keep his wits about him.

* * * *

The two-week mark came and went. Rachel rarely saw Wyatt and only saw Ethan in passing. It was the busy time of year and she tried not to get underfoot.

“I’m guessing you’ve never branded a horse?” asked Isabella.

“Definitely not.”

“Well, I have to go into town today to firm up some new contracts. Most of the guys are busy with the branding. Just help out where you can. We’ve hired a couple more ranch hands, so that’ll take some of the heat off.”

Rachel nodded. She’d seen Ethan in the barn earlier and hoped to run into him.

The usual calm was replaced with the roar of cowboys and stampeding horses. The paddocks behind the barn were packed and full of life. She was growing accustomed to the sights, sounds, and smells. She supposed she was a country girl at heart, because she’d never felt more attached to a place before.

Rachel roamed the ranch without notice now. She was a regular sight and rarely had to ask for help doing her daily duties in the barn. It was nice to belong, to feel like she was part of something bigger.

“Can I get you anything?” There was a branding station set up just inside the large bay doors. It was stifling hot, the fireplace radiating intense heat. Several cowboys turned around at once, but no Ethan or Wyatt.

One of the men smiled, getting up from his knees to approach her. “What are you offering, sweet thing?”

Her mouth wouldn’t work. She was put on the spot, forced to face an unprofessional ranch hand. To date, they’d been fairly respectable, so she wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Water?”

“I have plenty of water.” He stepped closer, but she countered his steps. The other cowboys only laughed as they continued their work, setting up the next horse. She felt like a fool when she wanted to be treated as an equal. “What else you have?”

When he reached out to stroke her face, a strong hand grabbed his wrist, pulling it away. “No touching,” said Ethan.

She inwardly sighed. Ethan’s dark eyes looked at her from over the other man’s shoulder. He was everything she wanted. Everything she needed. Having such raw strength on her side, a man willing to fight for her, was like a fantasy turned reality.

“It wasn’t nothing,” he said.

“You’re too close to her. I’ve warned ya’ll to keep your distance.” Ethan stood his ground as the other man returned to the branding. So that was the reason the cowboys rarely misbehaved with her. Did Ethan tell them she was taken? Or was he just looking out for her as a gentleman?

“Thank you.”

“You shouldn’t be in here alone. There’s plenty to do in the other barn.”

“What? Polish the tack again?” Ethan didn’t like her to do anything laborious. He did his work and still made time to do her dirty jobs. She wanted to be more included, to be treated like a regular employee.

He cupped her face. “It’s never been shinier since you came.” Ethan looked at her with such affection, her breath caught. “I’ve missed you, darlin’. I hate it when my work keeps me away.”

She was relieved. Part of her had felt he was avoiding her. She knew he was busy, but hearing the confirmation with her own ears was a blessing. “Can’t you teach me about branding? I want to help.”

He smiled as if amused by her. “Okay. Come on.”

They went out the back door to the holding corral. These horses weren’t up next in the queue, so they were alone with the animals. “Does it hurt?”

He leaned against the split-rail fence, unfazed by the horses around him. Rachel continually worried about getting stomped or kicked. She kept close to Ethan. “Damien’s slow to switch over to modern methods. We still hot brand most of the stock, but our staff knows what they’re doing and we never burn the skin. We’re starting to freeze brand the Arabians.”