The Promise (22 page)

 41 

H
ello? That you, Jim?”

“It's me, Uncle Henry. Where are you calling from?”

“Just standing here in my driveway, but I was planning on heading over to your house. If you're there, that is.”

Jim got a picture in his mind of a vintage yellow '68 Chevy Impala with a black vinyl top, and his uncle standing right beside it. “Oh, I'm here. But not sure this is such a good time. Just finishing up a big tree project with Doug.”

“Doug? Tell him I said hi. You know, it's gonna take me about thirty minutes to get over there from here. If you're just finishing up, maybe you'll be done by the time I get there. What do you think?”

“Guess it's kind of important then?”

“Kind of,” Uncle Henry said. “You up on all that's going on with Tom and Jean?”

“Tom and Jean? Hold on. Let me get to where I can talk.” Jim put his hand over the phone and took a few steps toward the veranda. He turned back to his son. “You're doing great, Doug. Just keep filling in all those gaps with that rich, black soil. I'll be back in a minute. Just going to talk over here with Uncle Henry a minute.” When he got beneath the shade of the
veranda, he continued. “Uncle Henry, do you know what's going on? We just got in yesterday. Michele told Marilyn about it, but she didn't know any details. Sounds like a real mess.”

“I believe I know a good bit of it. Actually, that's why I want to come see you. Tom is staying with us for the time being.”

“He is? I heard Jean put him out of the house. I was worried about where he'd end up.”

“Well, he ended up here. He's at work now. Just left a little while ago.”

“Work? I thought he got laid off.”

“He did, from the bank. This is a temporary job, as he calls it, at some coffee and sandwich shop not far from where they live. Just started working there a little while ago, I think.”

Jim couldn't believe his son with a bachelor's degree in finance was working at a coffee shop. “There's so much I don't know about what's going on, Uncle Henry. I'd really like to talk with you. I'm sure Doug and I can get this project behind us before you arrive.”

“Good. Then I'll get in the car and start driving.”

“Has Tom told you why he did this? It seems so crazy to me. I still can't believe he'd do something so idiotic. Marilyn and I were talking about it a little while ago. Neither one of us can figure it out. The Tom we know would never do something like this.” Jim heard Uncle Henry's car start up.

“Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk about all this in person. With you and Marilyn. Is she there, by the way?”

“No, she's not. She's at some volunteer orientation meeting. But I expect her home real soon.”

“Good,” Uncle Henry said. “She should be in on this conversation. Let's hold off talking about this any more until I get there. I'll be there in thirty minutes.”

The drive took more like forty-five minutes, and by then the temperature had cooled off a bit, allowing Jim, Marilyn, and Uncle Henry to meet out on the veranda by the pool. Doug had left to go hang out with some friends.

Marilyn had just gotten home a few minutes ago. Jim could tell she was all set to brief him on her big meeting until he interrupted her, saying it would have to wait. Uncle Henry had come and needed to speak with both of them about Tom and Jean.

That got her attention.

For the next twenty minutes over glasses of iced tea, Uncle Henry gave them a play-by-play account of Tom and Jean's situation. He answered most of their follow-up questions too, although there were a few things he still didn't understand himself. The more he talked, the less sense Tom's conduct—even his thinking—made to them.

When Uncle Henry had finished, Jim said, “Please tell me you have some idea as to why Tom chose this path. I've been racking my brain, and I'm coming up empty. I can't even imagine what his finances look like right now.”

“I imagine they're in pretty sad shape,” Uncle Henry said.

Jim looked over at Marilyn. “I hope this doesn't come back on us somehow. We don't have enough reserves to bail him out.”

“Let's don't get ahead of ourselves, Jim,” she said. “Let's hear what Uncle Henry has to say.”

“You're right.” He turned to face his uncle again. “So let's have it. Why are we in this mess?”

Henry took a sip of his tea, rubbed his forehead. “This is going to take a bit of doing, getting all this out.”

“Don't worry about it, Uncle Henry,” Marilyn said. “We're in no hurry. Take your time.”

He looked up at Jim and said, “The short answer for why we're in this mess is that Tom made a bad decision to hide
something he was ashamed of. From Jean, from you guys, from everyone. And once he started, he kept it going, one lie after another, whatever it took to keep the perception intact that everything was fine, same as it ever was.”

“But Tom knows lying is wrong,” Jim said. “He's known that since he was a kid.”

“Yeah, he does. And he's taken responsibility for that. First with the Lord and soon with everyone else. And he knows there's gonna be consequences for this. He's broken trust with everybody. The reason I'm here, the reason I want to talk to you two, is because Aunt Myra and I think there's something bigger going on here than what's on the surface. Something that has to do with what's broken in this entire family.”

Jim leaned forward in his chair. “You're saying I'm the reason Tom did this? Because of the way I raised him?” Marilyn reached over and patted Jim's forearm.

“Hold on there, Jim. When I say broken, I'm not just talking about you and Marilyn, and the way you raised your kids. This thing's been broken a long time. Goes back at least as far as my dad and the way he raised your dad and me.”

Jim sat back. He had to calm down. Uncle Henry was a praying man. He had come all this way to say something, and Jim needed to hear him out.

“Maybe I could open this up and make sense of it by telling you a little story about myself. You know I was a math teacher, right? Did that for over twenty-five years till I retired. But you probably don't know that when I was a kid, math was my worst subject. And it continued to be during my first two years of high school. I flunked geometry and had to retake it. I was sure one month into that second time around I was gonna flunk it again. One reason I was doing so bad was my teacher. He talked like he was sure I was gonna fail. The only bright spot was I knew more than half the class was failing right along with me. The
teacher had arranged our chairs according to our grade. All of us who were failing sat in the back.”

“That's a crummy thing for a teacher to do,” Marilyn said.

“Yes, it was. Then one Monday morning, all that changed. Sitting behind the teacher's desk was a new teacher. Our old one had been reassigned to another district. We felt like the people in Paris who'd just been liberated from the Nazis in World War II. Something that new teacher said that morning changed my life, literally. I now know something I didn't know then. He was actually doing something very biblical with me and the entire class.”

“What did he do?” Jim said.

“He stood before the class and said, ‘If anyone fails this class, then I have failed.' And he made a commitment that morning to do whatever it took to see that every single one of us passed the course. He pledged to see that we learned and even enjoyed this subject to the best of our ability. Whether that meant staying after school to tutor us or even coming in for a special session over the weekend, he dedicated himself to make sure every single one of us made it. And that's exactly what he did, week in, week out, till the semester was over. And you know what happened? He posted our grades on that last day of class, and we all passed. Every single one of us.”

“What grade did you get, Uncle Henry?” Jim asked.

Uncle Henry's eyes watered as he said, “I got my first A in math, the first one in my entire life. I felt so proud. And all because one man committed himself to our success.”

He took a deep breath, then looked Jim right in the eyes. “That first teacher was just like my dad. That's how he treated me and your dad our whole childhood. And that's how your dad treated you. But it's not God's way. That day in geometry class with that new teacher, I got a glimpse of the fatherhood of God, and it changed my life. For the first time, I began to understand
the deep need all children have to receive encouragement and blessing from their parents and the powerful effect it can have on them when they get it. It's something we all crave and long for as children but so few of us ever receive. I didn't, not at home. Not even once. But I did that day, and it changed my life.”

Jim felt a wave of emotion rush over him. He had never been treated that way growing up. Not even once. He'd never felt accepted by his father. Never felt like he measured up or could ever earn his approval. Nothing he did was good enough, no matter how hard he tried. If he did ten things right but missed one, that's what his father would jump on. Even in high school, when Jim finally started excelling in sports, he never heard his father say, “Great job, son” or “I'm proud of you.”

Jim's father had died never having uttered those words.

Not even once.

“Jim . . . are you okay?” He heard Marilyn's kind voice, but it seemed as though it came from across the room.

He couldn't help it. Jim felt like that boy searching the stands for his father, only to be disappointed again. “Dad,
why
?” he muttered as unstoppable tears made their way down his face.

And then, uncontrollable sobbing.

 42 

J
im didn't know why, but he cried for the longest time. A few times he thought he was coming out of it, then more flashes and images from his past floated up and he'd start right up again. At some point, he stopped seeing pictures from his own childhood and was even more tormented by Tom's. All the times he'd treated Tom the same way his dad had treated him.

Riding him, driving him, pushing him to excel.

For a moment, Jim caught his breath.
I wasn't just like my dad, was I?
He tried to think of times when he'd encouraged Tom, times he'd told Tom how proud he was of him.

He couldn't think of any.

Not one.

He cried the hardest after that.

“He'll be okay, Marilyn,” Uncle Henry said softly. “This is a good thing. God can do more in a man's heart at times like this than listening to a hundred sermons.”

Marilyn left for a few moments, saying she would refill their drinks and get a trash bag. She had already left once to get a box of Kleenex. A sizable pile now occupied the center of the glass table. When she returned, Jim finally had enough breath and
enough calm to say something lucid. He looked at Marilyn's face then at Uncle Henry's and said, “Tom feels what I felt so many times. I just carried the deep hurt from my dad into our relationship. I am . . . my dad! Oh Lord.”

The tears came again.

Five minutes later, his tears finally seemed to be spent. He wiped his eyes with fresh tissues and blew his nose and said, “Now what was all that about?” But he knew the answer. He had experienced this once before, when God had broken his heart over the way he had treated Marilyn all those years.

Now he saw the way he had treated Tom, what had been broken in their relationship and, clearly, what needed fixing.

“Are you going to be okay, hon?” Marilyn asked.

“I'm going to be more than okay.” He looked at Uncle Henry. “Just so I'm clear on this, the reason Tom lied about losing his job for all this time, the real reason, the deepest reason, was that he was afraid of me finding out how badly he had failed?”

“I believe so,” Uncle Henry said. “He cared about Jean being disappointed with him and her worrying about how they'd make it too. But the more I talked to him, the clearer it became. He was mostly hiding it from her because he knew once she found out, you'd find out too. Again, not just about the job loss, although that's probably the biggest thing. But he told me they're probably gonna lose the house and at least one of the cars, and that their credit cards are maxed out.”

“Credit cards?” Jim repeated. “Maxed out?” Henry nodded. Jim shook his head in disbelief.

“He must be in torment,” Marilyn said.

“But why didn't he ask for help?” Jim said. “Before it got so bad? No, never mind. That's a stupid question now. But see, this brings up something I really don't understand. How can we bless and encourage our kids about things they're doing wrong? Won't that cause them to stop trying hard to succeed? How do
they stay motivated to keep pursuing the right goals? It sounds like you're saying we should reward them before they reach the finish line. What would motivate them to keep running?”

“Those are good questions,” Uncle Henry said. “They're probably the questions most parents are thinking about when they withhold encouragement and blessings from their kids. But my high school teacher didn't give out As to everyone up front and say, ‘Here you go. You get an A and you don't even have to do the work.' We still had to do the work, all of it. But his encouragement and blessing and his total commitment to our success provided strong motivation for us to do all we could to reach that finish line ourselves. That's how God's grace works. It goes before us, comes in behind us, and holds our hand along the way. If a child has that kind of support from a parent, he can become anything God wants him to be.”

The fog was beginning to lift. Jim looked at Marilyn. She was smiling. She knew he was getting it. “You've been trying to tell me this for years, haven't you?”

“Something like that,” she said. “But I'm seeing it a lot better now myself. And there's something else I'm seeing a lot clearer.”

“What's that?”

“You're not the only one to blame for how Tom turned out. I had some real concerns about the way you were treating him, for years. But I hardly said a word. I was too afraid of you, but I should've let my love for Tom and his welfare override my fears. I should've spoken up . . . so many times.”

“I probably wouldn't have listened.”

“Maybe not, but I still should've tried.” She looked at Uncle Henry. “Does Tom know this? Have you shared all this with him?”

“No. I introduced a little of it today. But I really felt like God wanted me to share it with the both of you first. I'm thinking it might be better if Tom heard this from you, Jim. Not me.”

“I agree,” Jim said. “I really want to have that conversation with him now.”

“Do you think I should be the one to talk to Jean?” Marilyn asked. “Where is she in all this?”

“I'm not sure,” Uncle Henry said. “Tom asked me to talk to her, but really, it wasn't about this.”

“What about, then?”

“He wants me to convince her this has nothing to do with him seeing anyone else.”

“Are you sure it doesn't?” Jim asked.

“Pretty sure,” Uncle Henry said. “As best as I can discern, he's telling the truth about that.”

“So can I talk to Jean about this . . . other stuff?” Marilyn said. “I've been wanting my relationship with her to go deeper than it's been anyway.”

“I think that would be a great idea,” Uncle Henry said.

“Maybe I'll do it with Michele,” Marilyn said. “What do you think? Jean has started opening up to her lately.”

Uncle Henry nodded. “I think God's giving us some wisdom here.”

Jim reached for Marilyn's hand, smiled. “Sounds like a plan then.”

Uncle Henry stood up. “Guess I better head over to Jean's, see if I can take care of that conversation in person. Jim, can you walk me to my car? Just a few things I want to mention about your talk with Tom.”

Marilyn gave Uncle Henry a warm hug. “I don't know how we can thank you and Aunt Myra for all your help. I don't have the words. What you've done for Tom and what happened here . . .” Tears filled her eyes. “You don't know how long and how often I've prayed for a breakthrough between Jim and Tom. And for Tom and Jean. I have real hope for that now, Uncle Henry.” She gave him another hug.

“You're welcome, Marilyn. I'm just grateful whenever God lets me be a part of what he's doing.” He walked across the pool area and through the back gate toward his car. Jim followed right behind. When they got there, Uncle Henry said, “When I get home, to help you get ready for this conversation with your son, I'm gonna send you some Scriptures to read in an email.”

“You're doing email now?” Jim asked.

“A little,” he said.

“What are the Scriptures about?”

“Well, I just want you to see a little more from God's perspective on this idea. It's really all over the place in the Bible. The Old Testament patriarchs like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all did this with their children. At different times, they'd gather them together, lay hands on them, and bless them. They'd say all kinds of encouraging things about their future, meaningful things God wanted them to hear. Many in the Jewish culture still practice this idea of parents blessing their children, but we don't see too much of it going on in the church today.”

“Maybe it's because you only see it in the Old Testament,” Jim said.

“That's not really true. I see a real clear example of this with Jesus and his disciples at the Last Supper. Think about it . . . at that point, they weren't getting anything right. They were arguing between themselves about who was the greatest. Peter was telling the Lord that he couldn't wash his feet one minute, swearing that he'd die for him the next. Jesus knew that very night Peter would deny even knowing him three times, and all of them would desert him. You should read some of the amazing things Jesus said about his disciples that night. All kinds of things that expressed encouragement and faith about their future. I'll send you those Scriptures. It'll help build faith in your heart for Tom, since things look pretty bleak right now.”

Uncle Henry opened the car door and got in, then rolled down the window. “Aunt Myra and I will be praying for you guys.”

Jim reached in and patted Uncle Henry's shoulder. “Everything Marilyn said back there goes for me too. I don't know how to thank you for all your help, Uncle Henry.”

“It's my privilege, Jim. I really mean that. We love you guys like we love our own kids. You be sure to call me and let me know how things go with Tom.”

“I will.”