The Promise of Paradise (21 page)

“Colin, I don’t...”
As the guy stood, close to six three or four if Eddie had to guess,
Ash put a hand on his chest. Her words fell away, but she didn’t
stop looking at him.

That’s Colin? The
ex-boyfriend?
Eddie’s earlier cup of coffee burned in the
center of his chest. As he watched, Colin slipped a ring onto Ash’s
finger, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled her in for a
kiss. One hand swept the hair off her forehead. The other pressed
five fingers into the small of her back. Possessive. Wanting. He
hadn’t even looked Eddie’s way.

Eddie’s head jerked
back as if someone had caught him square across the jaw. He felt
sick, almost feverish. Stumbling, he backed toward the bike.
Mistake…
the word echoed inside his head.
A total mistake,
to come back here.
To think she’d want to be with him. To think
she wouldn’t go back to her other life the minute she had the
chance. Thunder growled, and a few drops of rain pattered the back of
his neck.

“Eddie, wait!”

He didn’t turn
around. One leg over the motorcycle, and it revved to life. The rain
picked up; the wind swept in and chilled him bone deep. He couldn’t
have cared less. Barreling through the stop sign, he headed downtown.
He wove around a stupid Civic going thirty miles an hour and an
equally stupid mini-van with a bumper sticker that read “I Brake
for Manatees.”

Manatees? Where do
you live, lady, fucking Florida? Look around. Only small-town USA up
here in New Hampshire. No ocean. No big cities. No place anyone would
want to stay and build a life, that’s for sure.
Under his
breath came every curse word he could think of, most of them directed
at Ash. A few at himself. What an idiot he’d been to fall for her,
someone he’d known less than three months.

On he rode, faster at
every chance, savoring the silence, the speed, the rush of air that
stilled his thoughts after awhile.
Gotta get myself a bike. Or
talk Frank into letting me buy this one.
The rain came down
harder with every mile, and he welcomed it. Only when he reached the
hairpin curve that headed out of town did Eddie realize he’d left
his helmet sitting on the curb back on Lycian Street.

Ash stumbled down the
porch steps as Eddie jumped back onto the motorcycle. He sped through
the intersection and left a strip of burnt rubber three feet long.
Colin’s hand fell onto her shoulder, but she shook it off.

“Colin...” She
looked down at the ring on her finger. Already it felt heavy with the
weight of the gem, not to mention his offer and the promise it held
if she said yes. “I can’t make this decision.”

His Adam’s apple
moved once, in a hard swallow that betrayed his disappointment. “It’s
okay. Take some time. Take as much as you need.”

He didn’t look mad,
or impatient, or as though he wanted to change his mind. He just
looked sad, as if he knew maybe he’d waited too long. As if he
understood he’d made the wrong decision and now couldn’t right
it.

“I know…ah…that
maybe you didn’t expect it,” he went on.

“You think?”

Colin reddened. “Took
me a while to figure things out.” He stared at his feet. “I
screwed up. But I don’t want to lose you. I’ll do whatever it
takes.”

Ash sank onto the
bottom step. She didn’t want to blame Colin for her heartache. She
didn’t want the exhaustion of hating him anymore. She wanted to
watch the rain fall and not count all the times she’d walked with
him in it. She wanted to sleep for more than two nights in a row
without waking up thinking of him. She wanted what he was offering
her: the chance to forgive, move on, and change the past.

But that made it
harder. She wished he wouldn't be so damn nice about it.
Give me
an ultimatum, and I’ll throw the ring across the porch and tell you
to go to hell. But don’t tell me you’ll wait. Don’t turn into
this sensitive guy I don’t even know.

“You broke my heart.”
She meant to hurt him with the words, to make him feel one ounce of
the pain he’d put her through. “You can’t just make everything
better with an apology and a ring.”

Colin nodded. “I
know.” He looked down at his hands. “I don’t blame you if you
tell me to go to hell,” he added. “I guess I probably deserve
it.”

“You do.” But her
voice faltered.

He bent and brushed a
kiss across her cheek. “I still love you,” he said again. “And
I’ll wait, however long it takes, for you to see that I’m
serious. That I want us to work.” He stopped halfway down the
sidewalk, shoulders hunched against the rain. “I’ve got a room at
the Holiday Inn over by the interstate. I’ll be there until
tomorrow.” He paused. “Then I’m heading home. Be at the
Vineyard with your folks next weekend, if you want. Or if not,
then…just call me, okay? Let me know.”

She blinked, surprised,
at the kindness in his words. The sincerity. Maybe he really was
sorry. She glanced down at her left hand. Maybe it wasn’t too late
for a life like that.

“I’ll call you,”
she said.

He nodded and jogged to
his car, slipping inside and turning the wipers on high. The next
moment the BMW turned the corner, a silver streak in the distance.
He’s gone, just like Eddie.
Only Colin was willing to wait
for her. Eddie wouldn’t even stop to let her explain. She shivered
in the damp air.

After a minute—or
ten, she wasn’t quite sure—Ash let herself into the house.
Halfway upstairs she had to stop and catch her breath. Palms wet with
perspiration, she tugged on the ring until it slipped from her
finger. She held it up to the light.

Gorgeous. And perfect,
of course. She wouldn’t expect less from Colin Parker. But what did
it mean? That he still loved her? That he was sorry? That he wanted
her back, along with her name, her future, and the benefits they
offered him? If she sliced away his top layer, could she see through
to the bottom? Was there anything in the middle? Anything past the
good looks and the intelligence that made him a shoe-in for political
office?

Ash shoved the ring
into her front pocket and made her way up the final few steps.

But if she did the same
thing to Eddie, what would she see there? A man too angry to trust
anyone again? Someone who was happy spending his whole life bouncing
in and out of beds in Paradise? Or someone who could see through the
layers she wrapped around herself?

She reached for her
cell phone and punched in the number for the restaurant. Sometime
while Colin was on his knee and Eddie was staring across the lawn,
she’d heard the church bell ring twelve times, which meant she was
now officially late for work.

“…I’ll be there
in ten minutes,” she promised J.T. She walked to the front window
and studied the sky, blue-black and scorched with lightning. She'd
have to take her car. She couldn’t walk in this.

She’d bring an extra
shirt, just in case she got soaked running across the parking lot.
Maybe an extra pair of socks. Cataloging the things she needed to
take care of in the next five minutes helped Ash keep her mind off
the bigger things she had to figure out in the next twenty-four
hours.
Get from here to the bedroom. Then from the bedroom to the
car. Then from the car to the restaurant.
She could deal with the
rest later.

Ash glanced outside.
Near the curb, Eddie’s motorcycle helmet lay in the rain. She
started, as if the lightning outside had reached into the apartment
and sizzled her. Eddie’s helmet. Here. On the ground. Not on his
head. Not protecting him. Without stopping to put on her shoes, she
ran out into the rain and retrieved it, laying it in front of his
door.

She hated motorcycles,
had lost a classmate back in high school to a violent accident.
Something stole the heat from her face as she stumbled upstairs. She
couldn’t think about Evan Traler’s funeral, or the fact that his
parents had a closed casket because his face peeled off when he hit
the pavement going eighty miles per hour without a helmet.

Without a helmet…

Ash shook her head as
she made her way to the car and negotiated the water filling Main
Street. Eddie had seen enough damage from careless driving to know
better. He’d be careful. Right? But that look on his face when he
spun away from the sidewalk. That anger.

Stop it. He’ll be
fine.
His brother had died in a car accident, for God’s sake.
He wouldn't risk putting his parents through that again. She pulled
into the lot behind the restaurant. That thought felt right. That
thought, she could believe and find comfort in.

When she got home from
her shift, she’d go see him. Maybe they could talk rationally.
Maybe she could convince him that whatever he’d seen on the porch
wasn’t the whole truth. Maybe, with tiny steps, they could sift
through their feelings and the lies that she’d told. Maybe, just
looking up at him, feeling his hands on hers again, would help her
make a decision.

Baby steps. Just get
yourself through the next few hours. You’ll be fine. He'll be fine.

She skipped over a
puddle, not knowing that this time, she was wrong.

* * *

Near the end of the
lunch shift, the crowd at Blues and Booze finally trickled to a stop.
With a single family in a booth and a couple of guys at the bar, the
two waitresses headed into the kitchen. Ash leaned against the
stainless steel counter, exhausted and starving. She grabbed a packet
of soup crackers and realized she hadn’t eaten a thing since
breakfast. Since before she’d gotten the phone call from Marty.
Since before she’d walked her way through town only to return home
and find Colin waiting for her, with an engagement ring and a promise
of forever. Crackers fell from her hand and made a yellow crumb pile
on the counter. Without the distraction of taking orders and running
food, the memories returned, painfully sharp. Had all that happened
just today? It seemed as though a thousand hours had passed since she
woke up.

“Everything okay?”
Lacey began refilling ketchup bottles.

“Fine.”

“I heard Marty asked
you to take over full-time.”

Ash didn’t answer.
News traveled fast. Too fast, sometimes.

“So are you thinking
about it?”

“I don't know. I
never really planned on staying in town.” She grabbed a pile of
napkins, fresh from the dry cleaner. “I only sublet my apartment
for the summer.” Edge to edge, fold once and then twice. Her
fingers followed the rhythm that had become second nature that
summer.

Lacey chuckled. “Yeah.
Funny how plans change, huh?”

Ash finished folding
and carried an armful of napkins to the closet. On her way back, she
took a detour to the ladies’ room. She didn’t feel like making
conversation, even with Lacey. How was she supposed to answer Marty’s
question with Colin’s hanging over her? Sinking onto the toilet
seat, she sighed and rubbed her legs. The ring, still in her pocket,
dug into her thigh. She pulled it out. Look at it fifty different
ways, think about all the things it meant she had to choose, it still
was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she’d ever seen.

“
Marry me…make
me the happiest guy in the world…”

The door banged open,
and a pair of feet appeared in the stall beside her. “Ash? J.T.
said Marty called, wants us to close up early today.”

“Why?” She glanced
at her watch. Almost four. She wasn’t ready to go home. She wasn’t
ready to see Eddie, to call Colin, to make any kind of decision. She
wanted to wait until the wee hours, tomorrow’s dawn maybe. Not
mid-afternoon of a gray, lifeless day. She flushed and headed for the
sinks, avoiding her reflection in the mirror.

“Guess the storm’s
pretty bad,” Lacey said. “Shoot. I could have used the dinner
shift. Lunch tips weren’t so good.”

Ash lathered up and
watched the soap swirl into the drain.
I wish I could do that. I
wish I could just vanish in a whirlpool until I sort out my life.
Hide in a dark hole until things on the outside made sense again. She
frowned. Except she’d come to Paradise with the intention of doing
just that, and look where it had gotten her. Her shoulders hunched
up. Maybe you couldn’t ever run away from your life. Maybe the big
choices did follow you no matter where you went.

Back in the bar, J.T.
nodded over his toothpick when she asked about the weather.

“Yep. Marty said the
bridge to Forestburg’s under water. He’s stuck down in Salem
overnight. Plus the news said there are a couple of accidents on the
other side of town. He said to forget it, go on home.”

Outside, lightning
sliced the street into jagged white pieces, and the rain poured down,
heavier than ever. Ash nodded. If she were calling the shots, she'd
say the same thing. No use staying open. The way this weather looked,
she couldn’t imagine anyone in Paradise leaving the comfort of
their couches.

The telephone rang.

“Blues and Booze,”
J.T. answered. “We’re getting ready to close…oh, yeah. Hang on
a minute.” He held out the receiver. “For you.”

Ash frowned. No one
called her at work. “Who is it?”

“Dunno. Some guy.”

“That’s helpful.”

J.T. shrugged and
started counting his drawer

“Ashton Kirk?” She
didn’t recognize the voice.

“Yes?”

The man paused, giving
way to a cough. But when he spoke again, she knew who it was. She
knew before he told her his name. She knew from the way he formed his
vowels. She knew from the way he dropped the end of his sentences,
from the way he stopped every so often when the words became too hard
to say. She knew because he spoke exactly the same way his son did.

“Eddie’s been in an
accident. He’s asking for you.”

A face. Blurred and
dark. Eddie tried to sit up. “Whoa.” Hands on his shoulders
pushed him back. “Take it easy.”