The Promise of Paradise (17 page)

“This is her
picture,” her father went on. “A few people in the grocery store
said they’ve seen her. Said she might be working at a restaurant
here in town. And the woman across the street—”

“I don’t think…”
Eddie stopped.

In her mind’s eye,
Ash saw him study the picture. Saw him do a double take and look
closer. Saw the corners of his mouth twitch. Imagined that bile rose
in the back of his throat as he looked at an image of the woman he’d
just spent the night with, the woman who had lived upstairs, and lied
to him, all summer long. She forced herself to walk down the hall.

“You can stop
looking,” she said. “I’m here.”

Her father stood in the
open doorway, one hand in the pocket of his pressed suit pants, the
other absently picking at a buttonhole in his sports coat. He looked
the same as always. Poised and confident. Taller than the average
man, but not haughty even though he looked down on just about
everyone.

“Ashton!” His gaze
shifted as she walked into the living room, and she saw him take in
the T-shirt she wore and her bare legs beneath it. He looked from her
to Eddie and back again. He swallowed, a small motion that anyone
else might have missed. But she saw it and knew exactly what it
meant. Disappointment. Disapproval.

Then he smiled, and it
was true and fatherly, the way she remembered. “It’s good to see
you.”

Eddie frowned.
“You’re…I don’t…What’s going on here?” He stared at Ash
and pushed the picture back at her father. “Why are you here?”

She wasn’t sure who
he meant, her or her father. Neither one answered.

“Ash?”

Finally she drew a
breath. “Yes. He’s my father,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I
didn’t tell you.”

Eddie shook his head.
“I don’t get it. Who are you? What’s your real name?”

“I’ll give you two
a minute,” Senator Kirk said, and slipped back into the foyer. The
door clicked shut.

Ash wound the edge of
Eddie’s T-shirt around her fingers.

“You’re Senator
Kirk’s daughter?”

She nodded.

“Are you fucking
kidding? Why didn’t you tell me?” Eddie’s voice turned thick.

“I didn’t know
how.”

He took her by the
shoulders, squaring her off and forcing her to meet his gaze. “Why
the hell not?” He shook his head. “Jesus, what else haven’t you
told me? Is it all a lie? Law school? Breaking up with your
boyfriend? Every damn thing?”

Her tongue moved inside
her mouth, searching for words. He spun away from her. Facing the
windows, he laced his hands behind his head. “Just leave, Ash. Or
Ashton. Or whatever your name really is.”

“Eddie, please. I'll
tell you. I'll explain everything.” Ash sucked in a breath and held
it.

But he didn’t say
anything, just shook his head again. The muscles in his back drew
tight with tension. In silence, she pulled on her shorts and grabbed
her shirt and panties from the couch. She couldn’t find her socks
and shoes, but she didn’t dare stay. In another minute he’d throw
her out himself. As it was, the air, thick with anger and betrayal,
nearly pushed her out the door.

“I’ll stop by
later,” she said in a low voice. “Maybe we can talk then.” She
pulled the door shut before Eddie could answer. She wasn’t sure he
would forgive her this time. And she wasn’t sure she would blame
him if he didn’t.

* * *

Senator Kirk waited on
the front porch, rocking in one of the wicker chairs. Ash closed her
eyes and pressed her back into the wall.
I can’t do this. I
can’t.
She opened her eyes again.
I have to.
She took a
deep breath and stepped outside.

“Dad, what are you
doing here?”

“This isn’t exactly
where I expected to find you.” He didn’t look at her.

I am not apologizing
to him.
Her cheeks turned hot.
I am not going to feel guilty
about any of this.

“Your mother called
you the other day,” he went on.

“Yes.”

“Told you we were
going to the Vineyard next weekend. As a family.”

“And I told her I was
working.”

At that, her father
stood and turned. “Sweetheart, I know why you’re here.”

You do?

He reached for Ash and
pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into the top
of her head. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through.”

She began to cry.

“I know what you’ve
gone through the last few months. I know it’s been hell.”

Her shoulders shook,
and the more she tried to stop the tears, the harder they came.

“But please come
home. Please. I want to…” He stepped back and swiped a thumb
across her cheekbone. “I’m going to make things right. But I need
you there. All of you.”

Ash hiccupped. “I
don’t know…”

Her father glanced
around, taking in the house with its peeling paint, Eddie’s truck
parked by the curb, the auto shop logo on her borrowed shirt. “This
isn’t what you want. Is it? This isn’t really you.”

How did he know what
she wanted? Or who she was? “Maybe it is.”

He tilted his chin a
little and smiled. “Come on. That—” He nodded toward Eddie’s
front window. “That’s just a distraction. I understand. I know
you've been upset about Colin. I won’t tell your mother about it.
About any of it. Just come back with me.”

Something inside Ash
shifted.
A distraction? Not Eddie. You don’t get to take shots
at Eddie. Not when he’s the one true thing I’ve found this
summer.
Maybe the one true thing she'd found in her life. “I
can’t.”

“This place has
nothing to offer you.”

“You don’t know
that.”

Senator Kirk barked out
a laugh. “Yes, I do. I’ve been in a hundred of these towns,
sweetheart. They seem charming at first. They’re nice to look at.
The people are welcoming enough. But there’s nothing here for you.
Where the hell would you find a job? You’re brilliant. You need to
live in Boston. Or New York. Not someplace so small. So limiting.”

“Limiting?” He
would never understand, she thought, and for the first time, she saw
the distance in her father’s eyes, the cold sliding scale that
measured people and places. She was tired of it, tired of wondering
where she fell on that scale. And tired of knowing that no one really
measured up.

“You should go,”
she said.

His brows rose. “You’re
saying no? Just like that?” He paused, rubbing his jaw. “Your
mother will be devastated. Colin too.”

The mention of her ex
was enough. Ash stepped away from her father, toward the door of her
home. “I’m sorry you wasted your time coming here. Tell them
whatever you want. But I’m not leaving Paradise.”

“My father was here.”
Even as Ash said the words, she couldn’t believe them.

“What?” Jen’s
voice raced up the octave. “In Paradise?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re kidding.”

Ash didn’t answer.
One hand wound itself through her hair, still damp from the shower.

“You’re not
kidding?”

“It gets worse.”

Jen whistled.

“I was at Eddie’s.”

“This morning? As in
you spent the night there?”

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit! It’s
about time.” Jen practically purred her approval across the
telephone line. “So how was it?”

“How do you think?”
Amazing. Skin-tingling, heart-turning-inside-out amazing.
Ash
almost didn’t want to remember, because it made everything worse.
Yet as she said it, heat fluttered in her belly. His hands on her
skin, his body, lean and hard, his mouth skating across hers and
making her ache for more…the memory of it made her dizzy. She lay
flat on the hardwood floor of her living room and put a hand over her
eyes.

“Ash?”

“I’m here.”

“How the hell did
your father find you?”

“Who knows?”
Connections, an email, a phone call or two. It didn’t matter. He
might have traced her credit card or gotten a copy of her cell phone
bill. He might even have had her followed, from the first day she
arrived in town. She sighed. She knew enough of politicians to know
they could find out anything they wanted to.

“He wants me to come
back to Boston,” she said after a minute. “The family’s doing a
big press thing next weekend. And Mom's really upset that I said no.”

“What did you tell
him?”

“That I wasn’t
coming.”

“How’d he take
that?”

“Not well. Big
surprise.” She tried to rub away the headache. That wasn’t the
worst part, though. Not even close. “Eddie’s furious.”

“Mmm…” Jen
clicked her tongue. “Yeah, I guess finding out your new girlfriend
is Senator Kirk’s daughter might be kind of a rude awakening first
thing in the morning.”

“No, he’s really…he
threw me out. I don’t know.” Ash’s voice broke. “I don’t
think he wants to have anything to do with me.”

“He’ll get over
it.”

“I lied to him. About
everything.”

“Ah, you just didn’t
tell him the whole truth. There’s a difference.”

But Ash knew there
wasn’t, not in Eddie’s mind.

“Give him some time.
He’ll come around.”

She closed her eyes
against the sun that insisted on poking through the blinds. “What
if he doesn’t?”

“I’m not answering
that.” Jen paused. “Why are you so hard on yourself?”

“Because I screwed
up.”

“Everyone screws up.
Don't think you're special because of it. ”

“Ouch.”

“Aw, honey, you know
I'm teasing. Listen, if Mr. Stubborn downstairs doesn't call, or
doesn't return your calls, then go down there and knock on his door
until he lets you in. Sleep on his doorstep if you have to.”

“That sounds a little
dramatic.”

Jen went on without
missing a beat. “Explain why you made up the name, why you didn’t
tell him who you really were. Come on, anyone else in your situation
would have done the same thing.”

But neither of her
sisters had. Jess and Anne, whatever other faults they might have,
had remained in Boston, fielding media questions and carrying on with
their lives as Kirk daughters. Only Ashton had turned her back on the
family.

“I saw Colin the
other day,” Jen said.

“So?” Her ex was
the absolute last person Ash wanted to think about.

“He looks like hell.”

“Good.”

“That’s what I
said. To his face.”

“You didn’t.”

“Sure did. I walked
up to him and told him he’d never looked worse in his life, and
that it served him right for letting the best thing go that ever
happened to him.”

“Jen, I love you.”

“I know.” She
laughed. “He agreed with me, too. You know, Callie went back to her
old boyfriend. Right after Colin dumped her.”

Ash thought about that.
In the last few months, everything and everyone in her life had
seemed topsy-turvy. Everything she believed so steady had tumbled out
of place. But now her father stood guilt-free. Callie and Colin were
no more. Next weekend, the Kirk family would travel to Martha’s
Vineyard, the way they did every summer. Ash remained the only puzzle
piece still out of place.

“Jen, I have to go.”

“What are you going
to do about Eddie?”

“I don’t know.”

But she did. Ash knew
exactly what she needed to do. She needed to go down there and tell
him everything, once and for all. She needed to explain why she’d
come to Paradise. Why she’d changed her name. Why she’d left
Colin, and why she had no intention of taking him back. Sure, she had
some things to work out, including one hell of a mess back in Boston,
but she needed to start here, with the one man who’d made her feel
like no one else ever had.

She needed to start
with Eddie.

* * *

Ash stared into her
closet. Draped on a hook hung the shirt she’d grabbed from Eddie’s
apartment that morning. She glanced at the clock. Had it only been a
matter of hours since her life had fallen apart? She felt as though
she’d been fed through a roller, squeezed of all emotion and
energy. She wondered if she turned sideways and looked into the
mirror, there’d be nothing left of her but a thin little line.

What did one wear to
have the most difficult conversation of one's life? Did she pull on
something comfortable, to remind herself that no matter what
happened, she'd still be all right? Did she wear something stunning,
to make up for the shake in her voice? Or something familiar, to
remind the other person that, really, she was the same person as
yesterday?

She sighed and reached
for her favorite blue tank top, the one with the silver stripe across
the front that made her feel a little like a retro Wonder Woman
whenever she pulled it on. Not that it mattered. Eddie didn’t care
what she wore. He never had. It was one of the many reasons she liked
him so much.

For the last two hours,
his stereo downstairs had blasted raucous, heavy metal music. Some
she recognized. Most she didn’t. All sounded angry, frenzied,
turned up to full volume, as if to block out sound and thought. She
pictured him down there, cursing at her and wondering why he’d ever
gotten involved in the first place. Ash brushed her hair and pinned
some of it back from her face. Much as she wanted to hide behind it,
today she needed to look Eddie straight in the eye when she
apologized to him. He deserved that much.

The music shut off. Ash
stopped in her bedroom doorway, feet searching for her flip-flops.
His door opened. Her heart turned over.
Is he coming up here?
Maybe he would save her the shameful walk downstairs, the difficult
knock on his door.

But then the front door
to the house opened and thudded shut. No, Eddie wasn’t coming up
here to see her. Eddie was leaving.

Ash hurried through the
living room. She pulled back the blinds of the front window and
peered into the street in time to see his truck spin in a tight
circle and head downtown. Without even stopping at the intersection,
he made a hard left, cutting off a mini-van. The van honked. Eddie
stuck a hand out the window and flipped it off so fast, Ash imagined
he meant the middle finger for her as well. Maybe for the whole town
of Paradise.