The Queen`s Confession (46 page)

Turgot, and Necker, had tried to right these finances and their methods had failed. Then we called in Calonne. His policy was to borrow from the people and decrease taxation. The yearly deficit was over 100,000,000 livres.

Everyone was talking of the Deficit. They had given me a new name. My picture, with the necklace, was seen everywhere, and underneath it were the words “Madame Deficit.”

When Calonne had first taken over we had all felt optimistic. We did not realise then that he was thinking only of the immediate present and that the fact that things did seem to improve was due solely to the confidence he inspired. But confidence was not enough. Whenever I asked if something might be done he would bow courteously and say: “If what Your Majesty asks is possible, the thing is done; if it is impossible it shall be done.”

This seemed a most encouraging and clever answer; but it was not the way to solve our difficulties.

Then I forgot all these tiresome financial matters, because the health of two of my children began to worry me and occupy my thoughts exclusively. I had accepted the certainty that little Sophie Beatrix would be a difficult child to rear;

but now my eldest son, my little Louis-Joseph, the Dauphin, was showing signs of weakness. The trouble began with rickets, and in spite of all the careful attention which I and the doctors bestowed on him his condition worsened.

It soon became apparent that his spine was affected and my darling was going to be deformed. I was desperately unhappy; and my great consolation was in the good healthy

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looks of my dearest Madame Royale and her younger brother, the Duke of Normandy, who was healthy and lovely with his blue eyes and fair hair.

He was a strange child, my little Dauphin; perhaps it was because he was not as strong as other boys he was introspective and clever: a little old man, he seemed at times. I loved him fiercely as one does a child whose health gives continual cause for anxiety; I was constantly in the nursery so that I might keep an eye on the baby Sophie Beatrix.

Gabrielle was my close companion for she was governess to the children, and it was very disturbing when the Dauphin took a dislike to her. I could not understand how anyone could dislike Gabrielle she was so lovely in appearance, so gentle in manner, and she adored children. But there had always been intrigues against the Polignac family, and although Gabrielle was unlike the others she was a Polignac and no one forgot it. The Dauphin’s governor was the Due d’Harcomt and I believe he bred this hatred in the Dauphin for his governess. I tried to stop it and this was noticed. I soon realised that I, too, was not to be allowed complete freedom in the management of my own nurseries.

I remember one day taking marshmallows and jujube lozenges to Louis-Joseph, for he was very fond of sweetmeats. The Due dHarcourt respectfully pointed out that the Dauphin was only allowed to eat sweets as the faculty pre scribed for him. I was momentarily angry that I should not be allowed to give him sweets, and then when I looked at his poor little body I thought perhaps it was the doctors who should decide.

It was only a few days later when Gabrielle told me that the Dauphin had sent her from the room.

“You are too fond of using perfumes, Duchesse,” he said, ‘and they make me feel ill. “

“But,” protested Gabrielle with tears in her eyes, “I was not using perfume.”

In some ways I found greater pleasure in my younger son, who was nearly two years old. He adored me and liked to climb all over me, examining Monsieur Leonard’s elaborate head-dress with the greatest interest and

glee. He was gay 342 and a little self-willed and very interested in everything about him;

and because he was not such an important little person as his elder brother I thought of him as entirely my own.

Little Sophie Beatrix was growing weaker. I could not leave her; it was heartbreaking to see the wan little creature fighting for her breath. I shall never forget the day she died in my arms. I looked down at the still little face and until that time I had never known such unhappiness.

I laid her gently in her cradle and tried to comfort myself with thoughts of the other children; but looking back, it seems that perhaps that was the beginning of all my sorrows.

The financial affairs of the country were getting worse and whenever people talked of the Deficit they mentioned my name. My extravagances were responsible for it all; I was the Austrian woman who worked against France for the sake of Austria; I had crippled the finances of France by buying the diamond necklace, by the expenses of the Trianon.

I was indifferent to these slanders. I thought only of the deterioration in the health of my elder son.

He was an extremely clever boy and would talk so wisely that it seemed incredible in one so young; but as I watched his deformity become more pronounced with the weeks I wept for him. He could not play as his little brother did, but would sit with his dog Moufflet always beside him, for all the children had inherited from me a love of dogs.

My husband mourned with me for the loss of our little daughter and the poor state of our Dauphin’s health. I’m sure he was more disturbed on that score than by Calonne’s suggestions to call together certain members of the nobility and clergy—the Notables—that they might give their advice as to how the country could be extricated from the alarming position into which it was falling.

Calonne’s idea was to abolish privilege and levy taxes equally. It was an idea which needed the most solemn examination.

“Only an Assembly of Notables could fulfill it.”

My husband was alarmed. He knew that the calling together of this assembly was a direct blow at the power of the Monarchy; but Calonne

pointed out that the great 343 Henri Quatre had made use of it. Vergennes was against the idea and for a time Louis wavered between his ministers, and then the alarming state of the exchequer decided him to come down in favour of Calonne’s suggestion. This assembly would consist of seven Princes of the Blood, fourteen Archbishops and Bishops, thirty-six Dukes and Peers, twelve Councillors of State, thirty-eight Magistrates, twelve Deputies of State and twenty-five Municipal Officers of large towns, and was meant to be a cross section of the people who could be most use in advising the King and Parlement.

Once he had made the decision to call the Assembly of Notables Louis was pleased.

He told me on the morning of the 30th of December,
I have not slept a wink but wakefulness was due to joy. “

Poor Louis I What little grasp he had of the true state of affairs.

How he believed that everyone was of the same disinterested outlook as himself!

He went on: “The maxim of our kings has been: ” As wUleth the King so willeth the law. ” Mine shall be: ” As willeth the happiness of the people, so willeth the King”.”

He was happier than he had been since the death of Sophie Beatrix, believing that this measure would solve our problems. La Fayette, recently returned from America, was firmly in favour of the summoning of the Notables and the abolition of privilege. He had come back with ideas of a new liberty, preaching liberty. And in the Palais Royale, the domain of our old enemy the Due d’Orleans, meetings were held in the gardens at which further abolitions were talked of. Liberty, Equality and Fraternity were discussed. Frenchmen had helped to fight for these across the sea, so why not in France?

It was hardly likely that the Notables should succeed. Were the nobility of France going to agree to pay taxes? Were they going to take on a greater share of the country’s finances? The Notables were impotent. It was said that they were not in a position to impose taxes. The only assembly which could do that was a States-General.

That was the first whisper of those words. 344 The Notables were a failure. In the streets they were using the Anglo-French ride of NotAbles. This assembly could only resign, and was a sign for the downfall of Calonne, who had been responsible for calling it.

The people were demanding the recall of Necker.

Who to replace Calonne? The Abbe Vermond was at my elbow. His friend Lomenie de Brienne, Archbishop of Toulouse, was the man for the task.

He was certain of it. I always wanted to please my friends and Vermond had been close to me since my arrival in France -and even before therefore I longed to make this appointment. The King did not wish for it; everyone was against it; he wavered; but I persisted and eventually he gave way.

Now I was caught up in state affairs. Lomenie de Brienne was not the man for the job; in fact the Pariement was against him and everything he suggested was opposed. The very fact that I had helped to make his appointment set them against him; and when in a futile effort to please me he brought forward the proposal that I should have a place at the meetings of the council and so have a say in the actual government of the country the result was naturally to make me more unpopular than ever.

In the streets the people were shouting: “Shall we be governed by Madame Deficit? Never.” They paraded with placards on which were crude drawings of me always wearing the necklace, always inscribed “Madame Deficit.”

In the Palais Royale opinion against me was steadily whipped up; at Bellevue, which Louis had given to the aunts, my wickedness and depravity were talked of and fresh stories the more fantastic the better were concocted.

“It is the Queen! was the cry.

“The Queen who is responsible for the woes of our country. Who else but the chief character in the case of the Diamond Necklace, who but the Austrian Woman, Madame Deficit.”

Brienne had no new ideas. I was fast realising that I had been wrong to ask for his appointment. He could only think of borrowing, and wanted to float new loans. The Pariement disagreed with his

propositions, and the King, in a rare moment of decision, decided to support the minister. 345
I command you to carry out the orders of Monsieur de Brienne,” cried Louis.

Orleans was on his feet reminding the King that what he had said was illegal.

Knowing that Orleans was a danger, having some notion of the nightly gatherings in the Palais Royale, Louis for once was stem, and banished Orleans to his estates at VillersCotteret.

Now there was a division between the King and the Parlement; and all the Pariements of the country stood firmly behind the Parlement of Paris.

“Brienne must go,” was the cry not only in the capital but throughout the country. There was rioting in several towns;

people were demanding the recall of Necker, and he could only come back if Brienne was dismissed.

The cry went up: “The country needs the States-General I’

Madame Louise, the youngest of the aunts, died at that time. I think of her now as one of the lucky ones who did not live too long, as most of us did.

She had died in her convent sure of her place in Heaven, for as she passed away she cried in her delirium as though TO her coachman: “To Paradise, quick. Full speed ahead.”

I think she must have been the happiest of the aunts, removed from the stresses which had become so much a part of our lives.

I was spending more and more time at the Trianon, walking in the gardens, talking to my peasants at the Hameau. I felt so strongly the need to escape. I kept the children with me—my two healthy ones and my Dauphin, who was growing visibly thinner every day.

Rose Benin came with new patterns. She had an exquisite silk—and also the most delightful satin I had ever seen.

“Everything is changed now,” I told her.

“I have many dresses in my wardrobe. They must suffice.”

She looked at me incredulously, and then smiled her roguish familiar smile.

“Wait until Your Majesty sees the new blue velvet.”

I have no wish to see it,” I replied. I shall not be sending for you so often now.”

She laughed and called to one of her women to unroll the velvet, but I turned away and walked to the window.

She was angry; I saw that, as she left the apartment;

her cheeks were pink and her eyes were half-closed. I wondered why I had ever liked the woman; and I was to wonder still more when I understood that she, growing more and more angry when she realised I really meant that I should not send for her, discussed my follies and extravagances with her customers and even went into the market places to do so.

I really had no desire for new dresses. I had changed. I must set a good example. I must cut down my expenses. I told the Due de Polignac that I should have to relieve him of his post of Master of my Horse.

It was in any case almost a sinecure and one which cost me fifty thousand livres a year. I had created it for the sake of Gabrielle. I also relieved her lover, the Comte de Vaudreuil, of his post of Grand Falconer.

“This will make us bankrupt!” cried the infuriated Comte.

Better you than France,” I replied with some sharpness. I was beginning to see how foolish I had been in bestowing such gifts on these people; I was realising how they had battened on my careless generosity, which was in fact no generosity at all for I was giving away something which did not belong to me.

I felt these people were already turning from me—not Gabrielle, who had never asked for anything for herself, only favours for her family because they pressed her to; not the Princesse de Lamballe, who was a disinterested friend;

and not my dear sister-in-law Elisabeth, who cared deeply for my children and so had made an even deeper bond between us. These were my true friends. But perhaps even at this stage the others had already begun to desert.

But there was one friend who had returned to France and of whom I was very much aware. This was Comte Axel de Fersen. He appeared at gatherings and I never

had more than a discreet word or so with him. But I was conscious of a great serenity because he was there. I felt that he was awaiting that moment when I should give the sign and then he would be at my side.

The Dauphin was growing weaker. I was constantly in his apartments, watching over him. My anxiety for him could make me forget for a time these state affairs. Here was tragedy and one which was more real to me, more heartrending than the difficulties of France. I was writing to Joseph about him: