The Quest of the Warrior Sheep (10 page)

‘Ohmygrass,' whimpered Jaycey. ‘Does this mean Aries will die and Lambad will eat us for breakfast?'

‘Give over,' muttered Oxo. ‘We're not finished yet.'

But then the dog nipped his heels hard and he had to run with the others.

Behind the flock, Neil was having trouble driving
so slowly. They were out of the town now and as soon as the tractor behind him turned off, he would yell at Luke to stop. He drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. Then his phone rang. He snatched it up.

It was his tracker mate again and Neil was less than polite.

‘Thanks a bunch!' he snarled ungratefully into his mobile.' I know it's in Loch Glooming. I can see it!'

This wasn't precisely true because the sheep had just rounded a bend in the road in front of him. Anxious not to lose sight of them, Neil accelerated as he took the bend. He misjudged it and went up the verge and down again, his foot still on the accelerator.

‘Now look what you've made me do!' he screamed into the phone before tossing it aside and grabbing the steering wheel with both hands. But he was too late. The car had slewed around and was careering sideways into the flock.

By the time it had come to a juddering halt and Luke and Saffron had got out of the ditch, the sheep had disappeared.

T
ony Catchpole was not a fool. He had followed the yellow car and seen it plough into the flock. From his seat, high in the tractor cab, he had also seen the sheep leaping through the scrubby line of trees beside the road. And he had quickly turned his tractor down the slope after them.

As the sheep gathered together at the bottom of the slope, they could hear the barking of the dog and the angry shouts of the two men on the road above.

‘Ohmygrass, ohmygrass . . . What do we do now?' whimpered Jaycey.

‘Hope the dog keeps barking,' said Wills. ‘It'll stop when it's picked up our scent again.'

They heard a grinding, jolting noise and stumbled around to see a tractor heading towards them through the dense bracken. With Tony Catchpole
at the wheel. The tractor pulled up, Tony leapt out, ran to the end of the trailer and began letting the tailboard down.

‘Get in . . .! Get in . . .!' he whispered.

He gestured vigorously at them. The Warriors looked at each other. Was this some kind of trick? To do with UFOs, whatever they were? Suddenly the dog stopped barking. The sheep leapt and scrabbled rapidly up into the trailer. As they did so, Tony grabbed up a pitchfork and began dragging a covering of straw and manure over them.

‘Keep still and keep quiet,' he begged as he pitched smelly load after smelly load over their heads. When they were completely hidden, he lifted the tailboard and shoved the rusty bolts into place. Then he ran back to the tractor, climbed in and started up again. He drove back up through the bracken, over the ditch and out on to the stony road. Just in front of the yellow sports car.

Neil and Luke turned and stared.

‘Hey!' shouted Neil. ‘Hey!' And he ran after the tractor.

He overtook it and waved at Tony to halt. Tony
pulled up but didn't turn off the engine.

‘Did you see any sheep down there?' yelled Neil, above the noise.

‘Och, no,' yelled back Tony, risking a Scottish accent.

He gave a little wave and drove off at a scorching five miles an hour. But before they were out of sight, the trailer hit a bump and as it did so, the ends of two delicate horns poked up through the manure. Neil blinked.

‘We've been had!' he snarled.

He raced back to the sports car. ‘Well, come on!' he shouted at Luke. ‘He's got our sheep!'

Luke bundled into the car after him. Saffron bounded in too and sat on Luke's lap.

In the tractor's wing mirror, Tony saw the yellow car suddenly take off after him. He didn't know who the men were, or why they wanted Ida White's sheep, and he didn't really care. He found a hammer under his seat.

‘Get ready to rock ‘n' roll!' he shouted, though the sheep couldn't hear him. Then he whacked the throttle with the hammer. The tractor positively
leapt forward. Ten miles an hour, at least. Deep in the manure and straw, Links was rapping.

‘Don't mess with the Posse

Cos we's real moody,

Even though it's us who's

Now in the doody . . .'

Despite the twisty-turniness of the road, which had become no more than a track wending its way between the pine trees, the sports car quickly caught up with the tractor. There was no room to overtake but Neil drove close behind, blaring his horn and yelling out of his window.

‘Hold on to your fleeces!' yelled Tony, and he swung the tractor violently right, on to an even narrower and bumpier track through the trees, with pot holes the size of moon craters.

‘Ohmygrass, ohmyteeth . . .!'Jaycey's jaws snapped and shook. Her third and fourth stomachs collided.

The sports car didn't like the pot holes either. Neil was forced to slow down and soon the tractor disappeared round a bend.

Once out of sight, Tony jumped down from his tractor cab and joined the sheep in the trailer.

‘Get up to the tractor end and hang on tight!' he shouted excitedly, forgetting that sheep don't have much to hang on with. He shooed them right away from the tailboard, then jumped to the ground again and stood watching the bend in the road. The Warriors, crammed beyond the mountain of manure and straw, saw the car appear round the bend. They saw Tony unbolt the tailboard of the trailer and heard a clang as it dropped down. They saw Tony run back to the cab, and heard a dong as he hit something with his hammer. Then they heard a hissing whine and the floor beneath them began to tilt. On Angus Catchpole's ancient tractor, the only thing that worked well was the hydraulic system.

‘Ohmygrass . . .' wailed Jaycey.

‘Ohmystomachs,' gasped Sal.

They both hung on to Oxo with their teeth, but even he couldn't stop himself sliding slowly after the manure, down towards the open end of the trailer, taking Links and Wills with him too.

In the car, Neil realised what was about to happen
but had no time to reverse. He could only watch in horror as a ton of straw and muck slid from the trailer towards him. Then his gleaming pride and joy was buried beneath a steaming dung heap and he could see nothing.

Tony whacked the control lever in the tractor cab again, just as the Warriors were about to slide out with the last of the manure. The trailer floor began to level out once more and they were able to scrabble away from the edge.

‘Stay back!' yelled Tony at the sheep as he returned to the trailer to slam the tailboard shut. By the time Neil and Luke had forced the sports car doors open and struggled out, he was back in his tractor cab again.

‘Och, sorry aboot that,' he called. ‘I didnae see you so close behind me.' He waved cheerily and drove off.

When the tractor and trailer had lurched out of sight around the next corner, he shouted at his passengers.

‘Well done, sheep. Let's go!'

He drove on, whistling to himself, while the Warriors shook the mucky debris from their fleeces and wondered where exactly they were going
to
.

Neil knew he'd been made a fool of.

‘Don't just stare at it, then!' he shouted at Luke. ‘They're getting away. Dig!'

Then his phone rang. He checked the caller's identity. It was the Very Nasty Boss again. He decided not to answer. Digging dung with his bare hands was preferable.

B
ack in Yorkshire, Tod and Ida had searched the hillside near the railway station for hours, and found nothing except a llama sitting humming to itself.

‘Never mind, Gran,' said Tod. ‘There's lots more hills yet.'

‘That's the trouble,' said Gran, sounding tired and, for the first time, a bit depressed. ‘There's too many of them.'

Then, through the clearing mist, they saw Lady Babcott striding uphill to meet them.

‘You'll never guess,' she panted. ‘The man at the railway station says five sheep got on the train we saw. Come on. Back to the chopper. They'll be at Loch Glooming by now!'

*

Tony Catchpole was also heading for Loch Glooming. He was doubling back towards the station, hoping Cousin Angus wouldn't mind about the missing manure.

Tony was happy. Very happy. His second call on the train had been to Nisha Patel, and Nisha had agreed to meet him at Loch Glooming Station. Now that he had the sheep, Tony could show Organic TV how the poor animals had been modified by aliens. He could point out to the world the electronic collar by which they were being controlled. He could give Nisha another daffodil.

Then, without warning, the smoke-belching roar of the tractor's engine became a feeble phut-phut, and the tractor and trailer rolled gently to a halt. Tony peered at the fuel gauge. The needle was pointing to Empty. He bashed it with the hammer. Still empty. His happiness evaporated. He pulled out his phone to call Nisha and explain that he would be late. But he was out of phone battery as well as tractor fuel. If he wanted to meet her at the station, he would have to run. Fast.

In the trailer, the Warriors could hear Tony
muttering to himself as he jumped down from his seat. They watched him leap the fence into a nearby field and haul up an armful of withered greenery. He hurried back and tossed it into the trailer.

‘Just stay here, yes?' he pleaded. ‘Stay here. I won't be long. I'll come back with Nisha and some petrol and you'll be really famous. Yes? Good. Good sheep.' And he ran off.

‘What's Nisha?' asked Oxo, when Tony had disappeared. ‘Some kind of nice grub?' He nosed the withered greenery, which turned out to be the limp remains of last season's Brussels sprouts. ‘Because no way am I eating
this
.'

‘I don't know ‘bout Nisha,' said Links. ‘But what if he don't come back, man, and those other dudes show up?'

‘What if he
does
come back?' said Sal. ‘Surely we should take a chance now. We all saw the mountains. North is close. What are we waiting for?'

‘Er, Oxo, I think,' said Wills.

‘Waste not, want not,' mumbled the Oxford piously through a mouthful of mildewed sprouts.

Then he followed the others as one by one they
jumped out of the trailer on to a springy patch of roadside heather and headed north again.

A long way behind them, the yellow sports car, now a blotched khaki brown, had been mostly excavated from the dung heap.

‘Right,' said Neil, ‘let's see if we can shift it. I'll get in, you push.'

‘Why don't you call the phone tracker guy first?' asked Luke. ‘That tractor could be anywhere by now.'

Neil didn't answer.

‘You've upset him, haven't you?' said Luke.

‘Just shut up and start pushing,' snapped Neil.

He dabbed at the keypad on his mobile.

‘Who
are
you calling, then?' asked Luke.

‘The sheep, of course.'

Luke stared. ‘The sheep?' he said faintly.

Neil stared back. ‘Because the guy on the tractor who's got them will answer, won't he, nerdbrain. Maybe we can do a deal.'

Trotting North, Jaycey suddenly skittered sideways.

‘Ohmygrass . . . Ohmygrass . . .'

The other Warriors heard the noise and quickly gathered round.

‘Ohmygrassohmygrassohmygrass . . .!'

‘Don't be upset, dear,' said Sal soothingly. ‘Hearing the voice of Aries so close is a daunting experience.'

Sal took the plastic bag in her mouth to muffle the awe-inspiring sound and as she did so her teeth pressed the answer button. Instantly, the sound stopped. There was a moment's silence, then they heard a voice. To Sal's astonishment it sounded human.

‘Hullo? Hullo? Can you hear me?' It paused. ‘Say something, then.'

Sal let go of the Baaton bag and it banged against Jaycey's chest. Sal didn't understand why Aries should be addressing them in human speech but she felt she must reply.

‘Baa . . .'

‘Say again?'

‘Baa . . .' repeated Sal.

The other Warriors gathered round.

‘Listen,' said the voice of the Baaton. ‘I'd like to offer you a deal.'

Sal didn't know what a deal was.

‘Baa . . . Baa . . .' she answered respectfully.

‘Stop messing around and name your price.'

She didn't know what a price was either.

‘Baa . . . Baa . . . Baa . . .'

The Warriors crowded closer. They could all now hear a bewildered whispering from the Baaton.

‘He's talking like a sheep. All he says is “Baa . . .”. It's really spooky.'

‘Baa . . .' replied Sal. And then the other Warriors joined in.

‘Baa . . . Baa . . . Baa.'

‘Take it or leave it. This is your last chance . . .'

Wills stiffened. He knew that a last chance was not a good thing. And something else was worrying him. The voice was vaguely familiar, though he couldn't think why.

‘I think Aries is telling us to hurry,' he said, and he quickly closed his teeth around the bag and the Baaton.

The voice stopped and Wills led the way onwards, feeling confused and suddenly rather frightened.

Neil stood staring at his phone.

‘He's rung off.' He pulled an angry face, then stuffed the phone back into his pocket. ‘But they can't be that far ahead.' He put his shoulder to the back of the car to heave it out of the last of the manure. ‘Come on, come on!' He gestured for Luke to take over and ran round to the driver's seat. The engine roared, the wheels spun and Luke got covered in a flying brown spray before the tyres finally gripped.

‘Here, mind my upholstery!' shouted Neil as he saw the state Luke was in.