The Rabid (12 page)

I
rested my elbow on the window frame of the van and placed my chin in my palm.
My heart went out to him. This wasn't a game. He truly believed he wasn't good
enough.

"The
level of my intelligence didn't save us from those things. It didn't save us
this morning. That was
you
. I didn't save us in Las Vegas. That was
you
.
You have skills that are extremely important. If it weren't for you, we'd be
dead." I gestured to the back where Rex had been playing pat a cake with Alex.
"I don't know the first thing about hotwiring a car."

Even
in the waning sun I could see the flicker of a smile. "Well, yeah, but... He
shrugged both shoulders. "You're just on a way higher level than me. I'm a 9mm
bullet and you've got a first class ticket into a sniper rifle."

"While
your analogy is definitely amusing, you have a very skewed definition of
caliber."

"Well
that was—"

"No,
I know. Everyone's definition of 'better' is different. I'm not on a higher
level. I'm on a different level. Everyone is." My explanation seemed to relax
him just a bit.

"Yeah,
but wouldn't you rather be around scholarly professors drinking brandy and
talking about philosophy?"

I
actually chuckled at that one. "Philosophy is a joke. It's just people asking
ridiculous questions. You do know that all philosophers were inherently high on
some kind of strong narcotic about half their lives."

Jack
let out a belly laugh. It made me smile just the slightest bit.

"I'll
tell you something that not even Sylvia knew about me."

"Oh,
you have my attention now. Should I pull over for this?"

"No.
Keep driving, please."

"You
got it, Foxtrot."

I
cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "Men don't typically entertain me."

"That...
Did you just tell me you're gay?"

"I'm
sorry? No. What I mean was that I've never met a man that could make me
genuinely laugh."

"Pfft.
I've heard you laugh once at my jokes and it was fake as hell."

"You
amuse me on the inside."

"Oh-kay."
He drew the word out with a grin.

"I
enjoy your company. I enjoy you. I really, really like you."

Jack
scratched at the stubble on one side of his face. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yes."

"Well..."
He reached a hand over and touched my face gingerly. "I've really, really liked
you since I saw you standing outside trying to start a car that wouldn't have
started in a million years." His grin absolutely warmed my heart.

October 19

"I
can't tell you how much I appreciate the fact that they at least left a
Classical music station going."

I
rolled my head to the side to get a good look at Lisa. Chopin"s beautiful music
floated lightly out of the car windows. The stars were bright and plentiful.
The night was quiet. Out there, no one would have been able to tell the world
had ended.

"Yeah."
I took a deep breath, the hood of the van clunking incompatibly with my weight.
There was no way I could've kept my mind off what she'd said on the drive. She
liked me. She wanted me. That feeling was overwhelming. Oddly enough, for the
first time in a long time I was happy. I felt normal.

"Staring
up at the sky like this makes you really feel insignificant. The observable
universe in itself is massive."

Every
time she talked that way I felt a lump in my throat. "You know what else is
massive?"

"I'm
sorry?" She turned toward me. Apparently the hood of the car didn't appreciate
her weight either.

I
shifted myself slightly to face her more head on. "My..." I watched her for any
signs that she'd gotten the joke. There were none. "My dick. Okay, let's move
on. I like to cuddle. Do you?"

A
quizzical eyebrow rose in response to my question. A smile even played on her
lips. She was coming out of her shell because of me.

"I
don't believe I've ever had the opportunity."

I sat
up. "Say
what
?"

Lisa
scooted closer and looked up at me. Finally seeing something akin to humor in
her eyes was refreshing. I liked it.

"Do
you know how easy it is for a woman to contract a UTI after sex?"

My
thoughts ran away from me. I turned my head to the side and smiled. "Are you
serious right now?"

"I'm
alwa—"

"Always
serious. I know." We looked at each other for a moment. "So you're one of those
hit it, quit it and shower it off kind of girls?" I grinned at her.

"If
you're inferring that I prefer to stay healthy with an active sex life, then
yes."

Very
softly, I brushed some hair out of her eyes. My fingertips lingered on her
cheek for a second or two. She was so warm and inviting underneath that stony
exterior.

"Jeez,
Foxtrot, you are super hot when you talk all doctorey."

Her
mouth dropped open slightly. Every fiber in my body pulled me toward kissing
her. "Doctorey?"

I
looked up, pretending to think. "Mm...on second thought..." I slipped a hand under
her back and brought her as close to me as I could. Then I kissed her like I
meant it — like my life depended on it. "You're just super hot."

Her
right hand was holding onto my left arm. "No one has ever said something like
that to me."

"Oh,
yeah?" I took the hand from my arm and kissed her palm. "Why not?"

"I'm not
entirely sure."

"Maybe
they were afraid to."

She
shrugged. "Maybe."

"Fireflies!"

The
two of us sat up on the hood of the car to see Alex and Rex chasing after
glowing pinpoints of light. They were both giggling happily.

"Do
you think she misses her mother?"

"Half
of her does."

I
glanced at Lisa, but she was watching the children.

"Sylvia
wasn't ready to be a mother twelve years ago. Of course, children are more
intelligent than people give them credit for. Alex knew her mother didn't want
her."

I
turned my attention toward the little girl once more. The smile on her face did
seem a bit pained, but she was a strong one.

"That
sucks."

"Indeed.
Alex spent a lot of time with me and her grandmother. that's why she knows how
to take care of Rex. She's like a sister to him even though you can't tell on
the outside."

"You
caught one!" Alex jumped up and down while watching Rex marvel at the light in
his hand.

He
looked up at her. "Yay! I did it!" He began mirroring her movements. But in so
doing, closed his palm and squashed the bug. After contemplating his hand for a
few seconds, his face began to twist into what I'd grown to know as the Tantrum
Face.

"Hey!
Rex! there's more, look!" Alex leapt in the air and snatched a bug. Closing her
palms lightly, she brought it over to him and showed him the glow between her
fingers. "I think there's a jar in the back of the van. Can we keep him?"

The
two of them looked over at us. I felt some emotion rise from the pit of my
stomach into my chest. "Yeah..."

"Yay!
What should we name him?"

"Ba-ba-di!"
Rex began to prance up and down while he followed Alex calling, "Ba-ba-di!
Ba-ba-di!"

"Ba-ba-di?"
I tossed a look at Lisa.

"You
know the movie. Bibidi, babadi, boo."

***

I cut
the engine outside a hotel at the end of a road. It looked pretty empty. I was
surprised everything had been abandoned so quickly yet the infected were scarce
in certain areas.

"Welcome
to the Desert Rose Hotel in the middle of bumfuck, nowhere."

"Are
we staying the night?" Alex asked from the back.

"Yep.
it's better to be rested and alert than tired and driving."

"It's
charming," Lisa said, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Boo!"
Rex crinkled his nose.

"What?
You don't like it?" I turned in my seat. He shook his head. "Would you rather
sleep in the van?"

Rex
looked to his left, then his right, then up and down. When he looked back at
me, his eyes were wide. "Nuh-uh."

"That's
what I thought. let's go, Romeo and Juliet!"

I
hopped out and ran around to help Lisa out of her side. She was still a little
weak from the wound in her side. At first, she swatted my hand away, but I
forced myself in and grabbed her under the arms. She let out a little yelp as I
gently threw her over my shoulder and began walking toward the hotel entrance.

"Okay,
this has gone on long enough. Please put me down, Jack."

The
kids were giggling behind us.

"No
way, Foxtrot."

"Auntie
Lisa, you look like a damsel in distress." Alex's smile was huge.

I
pounded on my chest with a free fist. "Me Tarzan. You Jane."

I
heard what I thought was a laugh from Lisa as we went through the double doors
of the hotel. When I put her down, she swiped at me playfully even though her
expression was serious.

"Wow...this
place is huge!" Alex handed the firefly to Rex and ran to the center of the
room. The lights were still on. I could hear the faint hum of a generator
coming from somewhere.

"Whoever
was here left in a hurry," I said. Lisa approached the front desk.

"Hello!"
Alex shouted. "Can you hear me? Hello?"

"What
are you doing?" I stood next to her, taking in the dirty furniture and stained
carpets.

"I'm
trying to hear my echo."

"I
found room keys." Lisa straightened from behind the front desk and held out two
key cards. I grabbed Alex in a pretend choke-hold.

"All
right. Come on, knuckleheads, let's get some rest."

"But
I'm not tired!"

***

"Not
tired, my ass." I shut the adjoining door to our room and clicked the lock
shut. "That girl went out with the lights. Asleep before her head even hit the
pillow."

"What
if they need help?" Lisa was perched on the fluffy king bed. She'd showered and
changed into clothes that must have been left behind.

"I
told them to pound if they needed anything. But their door is locked and
chained. They know not to go outside."

She
nodded. I could sense something was weighing on her.

"what's
wrong, beautiful?" I pushed her back onto the bed and went down on top of her.
She smiled " which made my heart beat faster " and I pushed the hair out of her
face with both hands.

"Now
that I have you I'm scared."

"Go
ahead."

She
grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up. I slipped it off and kissed her
everywhere skin was showing.

"I
had a plan."

"What
do you mean?"

"I
was going to get Rex to safety then end my life."

I sat
up quickly. "What?"

She
closed her eyes while shaking her head. "Shh. No. Try not to take that tone.
Relax."

"Uh,
how can I relax when you just told me you're gonna kill yourself?"

"Please
listen, Jack."

I
studied her face but said nothing.

"I
didn't know how things would eventually turn out, but the odds of me being
alive at the end of this are slim."

"You
don't"

She
put her index finger up. "Please. I need to finish. All I knew was that being a
mother was all I had. I protect my son"s life until I can't anymore."

I
fell down next to her. She turned and faced me with that stony expression
again.

"But
when you walked into our lives that all changed."

I
allowed my hand to glide down to her hip.

"You
make me want to stay alive, Jack."

Scooting
close to her, I said, "I feel the same."

Lisa's
head inched back slightly. "Well, I know that. Otherwise we wouldn't be having
this conversation."

I
rolled over and groaned while covering my eyes. "We were doing so well!"

"I'm
sorry. I ruined the mood."

I
turned back to her. "Well, yeah, but you can make up for it." My hand slid down
to her hips again and this time, I slipped it between her legs. She was so soft
and warm.

"What
can I do?" Her eyes were closed.

"Say
something sexy to me."

"Something
sexy."

I
stopped what I was doing as a smile spread across her face. Just that tiny
gesture of trust and humor made my pulse rush.

"I
can't believe it."

"that's
about the second joke I've ever told."

"
That
I can believe."

She
smiled at me for another moment before pulling me down for a kiss. But before
her lips touched mine, she whispered, "I want you."

"You
have me."

Making
love to Lisa felt like second nature. It felt like I'd done it a hundred times
before yet it was still new to me. I could read her body as if it were my own.
I knew when she wanted me to kiss her and where. I knew when to tease her and
when not to.

She
was beautiful and sexy no matter what angle I looked at her from. But when she
was on top of me was my favorite way to see her. Because I could see everything
she had. Even beyond what was outside.

I
took both her hands and laced my fingers with hers. Then I sat up so we were
almost hugging while I was still inside her. When I let her hands go, she
wrapped them around my shoulders. I kissed her below her ear.

"Why'd
you stop?" Her question was short and breathy.

"Because
I'm in love with you." My lips touched her skin as I whispered into her ear.

She
made a funny noise in the back of her throat and squirmed a tiny bit. "Why...?"

I
pulled her closer to me so we were still connected. The motion caused her to
inhale sharply. "That's not exactly the response I was hoping for."

"I
apologize." Her nails bit into the skin on my shoulders. She wanted to keep
going and badly. "I don't know."

My
fingertips caressed the back of her neck. Our bodies were so close that I swore
our souls were touching.

"You
don't know if you love me?"