The Read And Weep Bundle: Anonymous, Perfectly Hopeless, Run (49 page)

I was afraid.

There was no other way to put it.

My life had been blotted out by sheer terror and for almost two days I remembered nothing until Mason pulled me from bed forcing me to eat with everyone.

“Just take your hands off of me and let me walk myself down the stairs,” I grumbled. I thrashed around like someone who was losing their mind. And I didn’t care. There was no reason to care about anything anymore.

I swore I saw red dots fixed on us at all times. I was sure there was a sniper waiting to take us out without us even knowing. My brain was going to make a beautiful bloody painting on the ground soon as I lay dying.

“And none of this was ever my doing. What did I even get out of
it? I was a prisoner my whole life practically. But none of that matters now,” I rambled right down the stairs.

Mason yanked me by the shirt and pushed against the wall. He covered my mouth with his hand. “Shut your mouth. Going nuts does not solve anything,” he eyed me, warning me to cool it before he had to make me shut up.

“Why would anybody here care?” I asked, pulling away. “We are in a house of criminals. We don’t know a single decent person remember?” I scoffed, pushing Mason out of the way. He jumped back in front of me before I could take off.

“I don’t know about you, but I will make it out of this bullshit. One way or another. I refuse to go down for my mother,” he said, fire in his eyes that I had never seen before.

“Well, I hate to shatter you dreams but that is not how it works. Can you do me a favor and keep me away from the states with the firing squads?” I asked dryly.

Mason looked like he wanted to punch me in the face. He stormed down the steps. Who was he kidding; we were going to be the next big thing on every news channel. The two kids dragged into a world of crime and murder, blood on their hands, no remorse for their actions. I could see it all.

I rounded the corner coming to a stop in the kitchen. Jay stopped what he was doing with the dishwasher when he saw me come in. His face lit up with excitement at the sight of me, and that made me feel—special—something I hadn’t felt probably ever.

I knew when a guy liked a girl he saw her in a different light
than anyone else. He became enamored by her. And Jay’s expression reminded me of that. I just didn’t get why.

“Did you get any sleep?” he asked, leaning against the counter beside me. Things grew a little awkward as I tried to hide our conversation. I didn’t want to give Mason any more reason to lash out at me. It didn’t matter if I was upset with him; he was the only person I had left.

“Maybe an hour,” I said, I looked through the kitchen to the dining room. There Mason sat playing with the dozens of utensils laid out in front of him. His eyebrows raised as he lifted and moved each fork trying to figure out why he needed six of them.

Jay waited patiently, eager to continue our conversation even if everyone else was gathered for lunch. “Kissing you was amazing. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to do it again.”

I couldn’t fight the smile. “I liked it too.”

He shielded himself with a large platter to keep his expression hidden from the
dining room and winked at me flirtatiously.

I felt like a little girl. Giddy and filled with excitement. I wanted to run from the room and hide the fact I was blushing. He made me feel like such a girl.

Jay jerked his head towards the dining room. “Let’s eat.”

Mason tugged the chair beside him away from the table as soon as I came into the room. As if I was obligated to sit next to him.

I sat down shooting him an annoyed glance.

Jay’s Gran entered the room assisted by an older man in a very nice suit. He smiled at all of us his white teeth catching the light of the giant chandelier overhead. His tan skin made his teeth that much whiter.

He was fancy all the way down to his fancy leather shoes. He waited patiently for Gran to sit, patting her arm, a large ring sparkling on his hand. I wasn’t sure what kind of ring it was but it looked very expensive.

“Well what do we have here?” he said as he settled into his seat. He was referring to Mason and I.
Me more than Mason I was sure.

I shot a look at Jay hoping he would introduce me and make things a little less awkward. He lifted his crystal wineglass and took a long sip leaving me to fend for myself.

I sighed, trying to pull it together long enough to offer a reply. I didn’t get why I had to be the one making conversation when Mason had met the man before.

“I’m Kendall, a friend of Mason’s,” I explained. He reached across the table taking my hand. His eyes stayed focused on me for a few seconds before he kissed the top of my hand gently. He unbuttoned a couple buttons on his fancy jacket to get more comfortable and took a seat.

“It’s a pleasure, Kendall. What brings you here?” he asked.

I pursed my lips. I always hated trying to explain why I was anywhere in the world. Even if things were a bit safer, it wasn’t anything I liked talking about.

“Mason and Kendall were just passing through, Gramps,” Jay said, answering for me. He winked at me and saluted me with his glass taking another drink.

I relaxed and sat back in my cheer more at ease.

“Kendall this is my lovely ex-husband, Benny,” Gran spoke up.

I wondered how they were able to be in the same room if they were exes. In my family an ex meant restraining orders and violent fights.

“Mason, is this the beautiful girlfriend your always bragging about?” Benny asked, a big smirk flooding his face.

I looked at Mason wondering what the hell he ran around saying about me when I wasn’t there.

“No. Kendall and I just so happened to be forced together a lot in our lives, since birth practically. She’s definitely not the one I was talking about,” he said, pressing his thumb into the sharp end of his fork. I wished it would pierce his flesh after his rude comment. It was like he was trying to irritate me.

“If you could only be so lucky, Mason,” Jay said, taking a jab at Mason. He leaned back in his chair a smug smile on his face.

“That’s funny because I have been many times,” Mason shot back.

A woman—the help bustled in the room taking my attention away from Mason and Jay. She placed a tray in front of Jay’s gran. Several more trays followed out behind her, these people had a lot of help I thought to myself.

I stared at the plate before me. Asparagus and some type of meat I was not familiar with sat elegantly on the plate garnished with green herbs and a yellow sauce. It wasn’t anything I had ever eaten. I hoped it wasn’t squid.

I smiled at Gran, noticing she was watching me from her place at the table.

It didn’t seem to bother Jay’s grandparents that Mason and Jay were passive aggressively attacking each other at the table. With smiles on their faces they began eating.

“Mason,
you’re not being polite,” I said under my breath at him.

“Fuck polite,” he muttered, sawing into his food. His elbow jerked back and forth. He was acting like such an idiot, and I was ready to lose it. I balled my napkin in frustration trying to keep from hauling off and punching Mason.

Jay sat up bringing his elbows down on the table. He watched Mason as he messed with his food, hardly eating anything just moving it around on his plate in agitation.

“Are you sure you want to play this game, Mason?” Jay asked. “I know all about you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Mason said giving a shrug of his shoulders.

I shoved the asparagus in my mouth biting off the tip and chewed angrily. I was trying to ignore what was happening, but they were making it very hard.

“Kendall isn’t into guys like you. In fact she despises guys like you.” Mason dropped his fork and pushed his plate away. “I’ve known her my entire life.”

Jay bit down on his lip. “She likes you right?”

“She has daddy issues, mommy issues and Aunt Wanda issues. The girl’s a train wreck, she doesn’t know what she likes,” Mason said.

I gasped, blown away by what Mason said about me. My heart kicked into gear, beating like mad in my chest. I looked at Benny and Gran one last time hoping they would stop the two of them from battling it out. Minutes later it was clear they weren’t going to do anything and my anger had bubbled over. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I slapped Mason right across the face, startling him.

Mason threw a hand back angrily knocking me and the chair I was sitting in backward. I skidded to a stop on the wooden floor, shocked that I was now looking at the ceiling.

Jay was at my side helping me up. I pushed past him going after Mason. Mason picked up his water and tossed it in my direction.

I gasped at the cold water hitting me in the face. It crawled down the front of me saturating my t-shirt. He didn’t stop there, next he lifted a fork whipping it past my head, it skidded into the kitchen and spun wildly across the tile.

Jay stared at Mason in disbelief, probably shocked things had gone this far. I was sure he was only toying with Mason. But he didn’t know what he was going through and he pushed him
too far.

“Now boys, let Gran out of here before we spin this into something we can’t go back on,” Benny said sternly helping Gran out of the room.

“I’m sorry,” I told Gran as she passed by us. She touched my arm and shook her head at me letting me know she wasn’t upset. I didn’t know how she saw this as okay, but she wasn’t mad.

I turned my attention back to Mason once Benny and Gran left the room. “What the hell did I ever do to you, Mason?” I asked, pulling at my hair in frustration. I was angry and hurt. I pushed him into the wall demanding an answer. I shoved him and tried to get him to look at me, trying to get him to say something.

“If you want him go for it. Take him upstairs and show him what Kendall can do and how well Aunt Wanda taught you,” he said, pushing me away from him.

I smacked him in the face, my hand burned with pain.

“Don’t you ever talk to me like that again,” I warned him grabbing him by the collar.

Mason eyes were dark, nothing I had ever seen before. He was distant and cold. “Fuck you. Get the fuck out of my face.” He grabbed me by the throat and shoved me into the table, bending me over it, his body weighing me down and keeping me from getting away. I had never seen Mason so angry before.

I screamed and kicked my feet afraid of what he might do to me. He held me down not letting me loose. Jay ripped Mason off of me.

“Whoa, easy now, I can’t let you do something stupid to her, Mason.” Jay said, nose to nose with him.

I sat up rubbing my arm, trying to figure out what was happening. And why it felt like Mason was losing it.

I decided I didn’t care what his problem was. I grabbed one of the useless forks from the table and before I knew what I was doing I stabbed Mason in the arm, all my rage coming out of me in waves. I used every ounce of energy to push it deep into Mason’s flesh. He screamed in pain, shock overtaking his face.

I let go of the fork and picked up a plate throwing it at him. And then I took off out of the room.

I watched the waiter walk away with an empty tray poised perfectly in one hand. I wondered what I was doing in such a public place when I was wanted. All over the news they were talking about us.

Jay cut through my racing mind. “You look amazing,” he said with a big smile. He took a sip of his overpriced beer.

I smiled and nodded trying to choke down the disgusting wine I was politely drinking. I was trying to prove to myself that I was the kind of girl who could be wined and dined. And I was also trying to do something I hadn’t done before, you never knew if you would ever get a chance sometimes.

“Thanks, Jay. This is a beautiful restaurant.” I said, taking in the dimly lit restaurant, the twinkling candles on every table, the soft music playing and the chatter of everyone around us as they enjoyed fancy meals.

“I can’t believe you’re the girl Mason was talking about all these years,” Jay said.

I wasn’t sure what that meant. But I took it as a compliment. He was infatuated with me, and it was attractive.

I didn’t know how to feel about Jay’s interest in me. I felt like it didn’t matter what I said or did, he just wanted me. I hadn’t had a chance to enjoy Jay’s intentions, nor was I sure if I wanted to. I was to wrapped up in my life and the nightmare that had started unraveling right before my eyes.

After my fight with Mason left him needing stitches I was still angry. But the bond that Mason and I shared would never go away, I still felt for him. I could never hate him, he was the only one always by my side. And he was going through the same thing I was. And we all handled stress in different ways. So if Mason wanted to lash out at me I was going to accept it.

Mason wasn’t the first person to ever make me feel horrible. And I knew he wasn’t going to be the last. People flew through my life at a high rate of speed damaging my self-esteem. I had no self-esteem left really, so it didn’t make much sense to stay mad at him.

“I have a big surprise for you,” Jay said, he dropped his napkin on his plate and left a generous tip on the table.

I took his hand and we left the restaurant.

We were by the water, just the two of us. I hadn’t caught sight of another person and I was glad. Jay wrapped an arm around me as we walked the pier. My heels clicked soundly across the wood. I sounded more like a horse then a girl with a beautiful dress on—one that Jay had bought me. I wondered what he saw in such a stupid country girl.

“Are you cold?” he asked, removing his jacket. I nodded accepting his jacket, I was impressed by his manners. I had never imagined someone that was the partner in crime with Mason over the years even knew what they were.

I watched the water lazily move making the moon’s reflection dance across its surface. Jay pulled my hair away from my face and planted a kiss on my cheek and then he sat down next to me.

“Can I ask you something, Jay?” I leaned back against the wooden post.

“You can ask me anything,” Jay said, taking my hand. He squeezed it waiting for me to ask what was on my mind.

“What do you want from me?”

His beautiful blues didn’t flutter or even have to think
about it. “Nothing. I just want to be near you,” he kissed me.

I enjoyed his lips, and the way his hands playfully slid through my hair. His kiss had a way to send shivers down my spine.

“But I won’t be here for long. We do have to leave sooner or later,” I said giving his lips another try.

Jay pulled away, he traced my bottom lip with his finger. “I wish you would stay with me. I could take care of everything. I just want to know you more,” his mouth found mine and I smiled at the soft nibble of my bottom lip. He grinned waiting for me to say I felt the same way.

I thought about. My mind was blank, I had nothing to say.

“Just tell me you feel the same way, Kendall and I can make all your problems go away for you,” he said, his expression turning serious. He wasn’t joking.

I looked away, inhaling the fresh air, my heart racing. Jay wanted me, a girl he was attracted to. He thought I was beautiful. He wanted a girl that complimented him, a girl that he could stand to be around. Someone he could see marrying.

The problem with what Jay wanted was none of it included Mason. And I wasn’t willing to hang Mason out to dry. I wasn’t selfish. I wouldn’t leave Mason to fend for himself. I could never be that cruel and heartless.

I tugged on the collar of his shirt and smiled at him.

“Why don’t you show me this surprise,” I asked, surely this was enough to forget the conversation I didn’t want to have with him.

He took my hand accepting defeat and we headed further down the pier to one of the biggest boats I had ever seen. The moonlight bounced off of it as it bobbed around in the water. It was the kind of boat you saw the celebrities on in the magazines.

He helped me climb aboard and once I was seated he opened a bottle of champagne. The sound of Jay opening it
echoed the quiet night.

“This is the surprise, to show me that
you’re disgustingly rich?” I laughed.

Jay sat down next to me, amused by me. “No, I was thinking the boat would be romantic. And if that didn’t work I could try other ways to make you never want to leave me.”

I shook my head. He was for sure confident. “You’re really cocky. Sex can’t convince someone to want to be with somebody else. It’s simply an added bonus,” I told him.

“It’s one of the best parts if you know what you’re doing,” he took my glass of champagne and set it down, and started unbuttoning his shirt, one glorious button at a time, his eyes pinned on me as he did so.

I watched carefully a little nervous what was to come next.

“Jay, I appreciate everything you’ve done for Mason and I,” I said, Jay shushed me. He pulled me to my feet.

“I don’t want to talk about Mason right now,” he said, his hand finding my neck. I closed my eyes at the feel of his lips against my neck. He was hard to resist.

“I don’t want to talk about him either. What I’m trying to say is—” His mouth collided with mine. He backed me up and pushed me down on the bench climbing on top of me.

I ran my hands down his chest. Jay carefully undressed me, taking his time to enjoy my bare skin.

“What were you trying to say?” he asked, his hands taking hold of my thighs, he pulled me closer staring down at me. I bit my lip enjoying his strength and aggressiveness.

“I don’t want to lead you on,” I said as he freed me from my dress. He let it fall to the floor.

“I think you’re amazing. And I want you right now,” he insisted.

I smiled, undoing his belt. Who was I to say whether his feelings were real or not?

“Do you want me?” Jay asked, helping me get him out of his pants. I laughed, it was funny. A guy as stunning as him there was nothing I wouldn’t want. But beyond that I didn’t know.

I stared at his flawless skin, his perfectly toned body and muscular body that would make any girl drool.

I knew what I wanted. So I nodded in agreement, enjoying this amazing guy, every part of him.

And he was right, sex with him was impressive. Amazing didn’t begin to cover it. I wondered if he was even human.

But even with great sex, somebody else was still on my mind—Mason.