The Rebel and the Baby Doctor (13 page)

‘Sounds good to me. I was hoping you might be free, so I bought some lunch from the cafeteria…a couple of packs of sandwiches and some coffee.’ She showed him her packages. ‘I bought enough for two, just in case. I know you like cheese and salad, and there are some Chelsea buns for afters.’

He sent her an appreciative smile. ‘If you’re trying to win me over for some devious plan that you have in mind, I have to tell you that you’re halfway there already.’

‘Well, that is good news.’ Her lips quirked in a mis
chievous curve. ‘I don’t have to worry about signing you up for Mr Kirk’s next round of lectures on surgery for chest trauma, then, do I?’

He backed away momentarily, his mouth dropping open. ‘You are kidding, aren’t you? He’s not really arranging a course, is he? Sandwiches or no sandwiches, I don’t think I’d want to be doing that for a while. He and I are not exactly seeing eye to eye at the moment.’

‘You surprise me,’ she murmured, as they walked towards the main doors of the hospital. ‘He’s an eminent man, and if he was to talk about new procedures in cardiac surgery, he’d be guaranteed a huge audience. Are you really going to let a thing like a small difference of opinion stand in your way? You could learn so much.’

He laughed. ‘Okay, so I know that he’s the best in his field. And if I was on a cardiology rotation I’d be more than happy to hear what he had to say. Right now, though, it has to be said I’m not flavour of the month with him.’

She shot him a quick look. ‘Seriously, I’m sorry to hear that. I know how much it meant to you to get him on your side.’

By now they had crossed the road that skirted the car park and they started out on the footpath that would take them into the wooded area edging the hospital to one side. Here the shade of the trees lent a cooling effect, and the air was fresh and sweet, inviting them to walk on further.

‘There’s a clearing in here where we can sit and eat,’ Connor told her. ‘There’s a huge old tree that’s been cut
down and the trunk makes a perfect bench seat. It should be big enough for us to lay the food packages out as well.’

As he had said, the tree was a perfect place for them to stop and eat lunch. It was dry now, leaving everything brighter, more vivid, the scent of leaves filling the air and mingling with the fragrance of mosses and lichens.

Phoebe set down the packages on the tree trunk and sat down. ‘It’s beautiful here,’ she murmured, looking around and seeing here and there glimpses of colourful flowers, the tiny dog violet, an occasional pink purslane and a small clump of foxgloves.

‘That’s why I like to come here and just sit for a while,’ Connor said, following her gaze. ‘It’s very restful.’

He opened a pack of sandwiches and handed it to her. ‘How did your morning go?’

She made a wry smile. ‘It started off well enough. I managed to cuddle a couple of the babies who were on the road to recovery. There’s something really satisfying about being able to hold them and feed them, and watch them suckle hungrily. The baby you admitted from A and E a while back was one of them. He’ll be going home soon, and in some ways seeing them well enough to be discharged makes up for all the anxiety.’

He smiled. ‘I knew you would love that side of things. I saw how you were with your sister’s children years ago. I couldn’t help thinking that maybe you would go on to be a paediatrician. I still can’t see you doing anything else.’

Phoebe bit into her sandwich. After a moment or two, she said, ‘If it was just a matter of holding them in
my arms and nurturing them, I would agree with you, but I still have to get over this great hurdle every time a baby comes in suffering from a life-threatening illness. Like this morning…I have to wait for the results of all the tests before I can do any more than give supportive treatment. It grieves me. I hate the waiting. I hate wondering about the outcome every time.’

He studied her thoughtfully for a second or two, and then took a drink from his coffee-cup. ‘It’s a shame you feel that way. You’re such a good doctor, and you should be filled with confidence about what you do. You give so much to these babies. They need you to look out for them.’

‘I’m not so sure that I can do it. Perhaps it would be better if I left it to someone else.’

‘So you’re still thinking about applying for Mr Kirk’s team next time?’

‘I don’t know. Possibly.’

His mouth made an awkward quirk. ‘Then you won’t want to jeopardise things by helping me out, will you? I was going to ask if you would let John interview you for this TV programme. I thought maybe you would put the case for cutting down operating lists. I’ve already been interviewed on camera, and said my piece, but the more people we can get to add a positive point of view to the debate, the better chance we have of changing the culture that goes through the hospital.’

She swallowed her coffee, and looked up at him. ‘What you really need is Mr Kirk on your side, because if just one of the consultants were to agree with you, the others might consider following suit.’ She shook her head. ‘The trouble is, I can’t see that happening.’

‘It isn’t going to be easy, that’s for sure. Lisa had a word with the consultant she used to work with—Mr Byers—who runs another cardiac team, but even he was sceptical. He agreed to be interviewed, but he isn’t going to do anything to further our cause, by the looks of things.’

Phoebe finished off her sandwich and wiped her hands on a serviette. ‘You and Lisa are very close, aren’t you?’ she said on a hesitant note. It bothered her that she was even mentioning it, but the thought of the two of them kept niggling away at the back of her mind and wouldn’t leave her alone.

‘We get along all right,’ Connor said. His gaze narrowed on her. ‘Why do you ask?’

Phoebe shrank into herself. ‘No reason,’ she murmured. ‘It was just an observation, that’s all.’

He reached for her, placing his hand under her jaw and gently lifting her head so that she had no choice but to look at him. ‘It couldn’t be that you’re just a tiny bit jealous, could it?’

‘Do I have anything to be jealous of? I mean, if I were to believe all the things that you’ve been saying to me, I can’t imagine why you’re seeing her outside work.’

‘Don’t you ever go to the pub with colleagues when you’ve finished your shift? In fact, I know you do, because I’ve seen you there.’

‘That’s different.’

His brows shot up. ‘How is it different? Explain it to me.’

‘I didn’t stay overnight at anyone’s house afterwards.
I wasn’t the one who rolled into work wearing the same clothes that I had on the night before.’

Maddeningly, he didn’t answer her. Instead, he casually finished off his sandwich and then took a long swallow of his coffee. He reached in the bag for a serviette and wiped his fingers, and then began to clear up all the debris of their lunch, placing it in the bag.

She stared at him. ‘Aren’t you going to give me an answer?’

His gaze tangled with hers. ‘Oh, it was a question, was it? I didn’t realise that. I thought you were making a statement of fact.’ He tilted his head to one side, studying her, and she had the feeling that he was amused by her frustration. He was teasing her, playing her along.

She turned away from him. ‘Forget I said anything at all.’

At last he seemed to relent. ‘It’s quite true,’ he said. ‘I did come to work wearing the same clothes as the night before—that wasn’t good, and it wasn’t something I would normally do, but I did go and grab a fresh set from my locker so the patients had nothing to worry about.’

Her blue eyes fired sparks at him. ‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’

He laughed, and slid an arm around her shoulders. ‘It was all entirely innocent. She had just moved into a new place, and I’d been helping her with taking crates of belongings over there, and so on.’

‘I think it’s the “and so on” that I’m concerned about. I mean, you wouldn’t be arranging furniture or unpacking crates throughout the night, would you?’

His gaze lingered on her testy features. ‘You know, I think I’m quite pleased that you’re worried about what might have gone on. It makes me think that you might actually care for me a bit more than you’ve been letting on.’

He tugged her to him, resting his cheek against hers. ‘The truth is, I’d finished helping her with the boxes when her new neighbour came round and knocked on the door. The woman said her husband was ill, but she didn’t know whether it was serious enough for her to call for an ambulance, and she knew that Lisa was a doctor and wondered if she’d mind taking a look.’

‘So you both went round there?’

‘We did. Turned out he was having a mini-stroke. We stayed with him, doing what we could for him, and then we waited for the ambulance to arrive. Later, we realised that if the woman went with her husband to the hospital there would be no one to watch over her children who were fast asleep. So I volunteered to stand in until an aunt could come and take over.’

‘Oh, I see.’ She felt humbled by this revelation.

‘Hmm…Do you? Are you sure? Have I managed to restore your faith in me?’

His cheek was nuzzling hers, his lips very close to her own, and she wasn’t at all sure that she was in any way capable of thinking logically at that point. It wasn’t fair, the way he was distracting her with his warm caresses, letting his hand move over her in tender exploration while his mouth was edging closer to hers.

‘I don’t…’ she began, but she didn’t have the chance to finish what she was about to say, because he closed
off the words with a slow and achingly thorough kiss, one that sent myriad bubbles of excitement racing through her bloodstream and alerting every fibre of her being.

He took her over completely with that passionate kiss. The whole world tilted around her, and all she was conscious of was that wonderful feeling of being folded in his arms, feeling the heavy thud of his heartbeat next to hers, and being overwhelmed by sweet, heady sensations that licked through her body like flame.

She wanted him. More than anything she had ever craved in her life, she wanted this moment to go on and on. She ran her hand over his chest, letting her fingertips trail over the hard wall of his rib cage, smoothing over his velvet skin as though she would absorb every part of him into her memory.

‘I need you, Phoebe,’ he murmured, brushing his lips across her cheeks, gliding down to leave a path of fire over her throat, and lingering there. ‘I don’t know why it’s taken so long for us to come together. I’m a lost soul without you. I need you to keep me on the straight and narrow.’

‘You’re asking the impossible,’ she whispered. ‘You’ll always go your own way. Nothing anyone says will ever make any difference.’

He kissed her again, raining kisses over her throat, her cheeks, her mouth. ‘It isn’t true. I always listen to you.’

His hand stroked the length of her arm, and then shifted direction to smooth over her curves, his palm coming to rest lightly on the fullness of her breast. Her body quivered, loving his touch and wanting more, and when he lowered his head and let his mouth trail over
her soft contours, she was lost in a world somewhere between heaven and the bliss of her dreams.

She drew in a ragged breath. ‘I wish I could believe you. I wish there was a chance you wouldn’t run headlong into trouble at every opportunity.’ She let her hands trace the strong muscles of his arms. ‘What am I to do with you?’

He lifted his head. ‘Accept me as I am?’ His grey eyes held a questioning glimmer. ‘Take what I have to offer, and maybe we can work the rest out between us.’

She shook her head. ‘I wish it was as simple as that, but I’ve lived on my nerves as far as you’re concerned ever since we were young. You were always in trouble of some kind or other, and I wanted so much for things to go right for you. It was agonising, watching you breaking the rules and tempting fate. I always thought you were heading for disaster. Then, when you turned up here, I thought for a while that things might have changed. But I discovered I was wrong about that.’ She straightened, easing herself away from him.

He frowned. ‘You don’t want me to go through with this TV programme, do you?’

‘It doesn’t matter what I want, does it? I’m afraid that you’re setting yourself up against powerful people—you may have management on your side at the moment, but ultimately you’re setting yourself against the consultants, and I can’t help feeling that by doing this you’re throwing your future away. You have so much promise, so much going for you, and yet you’re swimming against the tide, as if none of that matters.’

He sighed. ‘I’m sorry that I can’t be the person you
want me to be,’ he said, ‘but this is too important to me. People’s lives depend on it, and it doesn’t matter to me that I’m ruffling a few feathers—I feel that we can achieve something good if we only try.’

He picked up the bag containing the coffee-cups and sandwich cartons. ‘We ought to be heading back,’ he said. He seemed sad, and Phoebe wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she was battling her own inner demons, and instead she merely nodded and began to walk with him along the woodland path.

‘W
E HAVE
some of Ryan’s results back from the lab,’ Katie said, looking across the room to where Phoebe was standing, nursing a baby. The infant lay with his head against her chest and she was gently patting his back, waiting for the soft sound of a burp that would signal a comfortable end to a feed.

‘That’s good. I’ll come and take a look, just as soon as I have my hands free.’ Phoebe smiled, placing the baby back in his crib. ‘You’re doing really well, little one,’ she said softly, looking down at him. ‘Your mother will be so pleased that she’ll be able to take you home.’

Once she was certain that he was comfortably settled, she went over to the neonatal reception desk where Katie was looking through the incoming post.

Phoebe scanned the results. ‘The nasopharyngeal washing was positive for respiratory synctial virus,’ she said. ‘We’ll suction his nasal passages and start him on nebulised racemic epinephrine to help open up his airways.’

‘Are you keeping him on the on the antiviral medication?’ Katie asked.

Phoebe nodded. ‘Yes, we should do that until we see what results we have from the blood cultures, and we’ll go on with the antibiotics, since the chest X-ray revealed infiltrate on the middle lobe of his lung. He’s beginning to respond to the treatment, anyway, so I’m not too worried about him.’

‘Okay.’ Katie glanced at her. ‘You know, I can see a change in you, somehow. You seem much more at ease with what you’re doing here. Are you finding that you’ve adjusted to working with babies now?’

Phoebe nodded. ‘I was apprehensive to begin with, but now I realise that we all have the same worries and anxieties. We go on doing what we can to make them healthy, and the reward for doing that is tremendous. I’ve decided that I want to go on working in Neonatology.’

‘I’m really pleased for you.’ Katie gave her a beaming smile. ‘When I see you with the babies, I just know that it’s the right job for you. I’ve seen your expression when you cradle them and watch them sucking on their thumbs, and my only worry is that you might decide to keep one of them.’

Phoebe laughed. ‘Don’t think it hasn’t occurred to me.’

She wrote up the instructions in the baby’s case notes, and then went to check on her other charges. Baby Rachel was doing well, and hopefully would be having surgery to correct her heart defect within the month, while Sarah, the baby who had been taken to Somerset for special renal care, was back with them in the neonatal unit.

‘She’s coming on by leaps and bounds, isn’t she?’
Katie murmured as Phoebe stopped by Sarah’s crib to check on her progress.

‘She certainly is. She’s beginning to put on weight, and she’ll be coming off the ventilator very soon if she keeps this up.’ Phoebe gave Katie a smile. ‘I can’t help thinking that having her mother with her in the unit has helped her along. They were separated to begin with, but the bond between them is very strong. It’s as though they’ve given each other strength.’

Katie nodded. ‘Her mother’s recovering nicely. Do we know if there’s any news of the father?’

Phoebe made a quick check of the monitors and wrote up the medication in Sarah’s notes. ‘I was going to ask Connor about that later today. I know he’s been keeping track of how he’s doing, but I haven’t heard anything more for a couple of days.’

In fact, she hadn’t seen much of Connor at all, and whether that was because he was keeping his distance or because he was involved in liaising with the producer of the TV programme, she didn’t know. He had been back to the house they all shared, but he hadn’t stayed around for long, and when she had spoken to him he had seemed preoccupied.

It bothered her, this lack of communication, because she couldn’t help wondering if he had taken her at her word and was backing away. She wasn’t sure what she had expected, but Connor had been part of her life for so long that she was already feeling wretched without him.

‘How are things down in A and E?’ Katie asked, cutting into her thoughts. ‘I heard it was all a bit crazy what with the TV cameras in the corridors and open areas,
and the hospital chiefs being interviewed about their thoughts on budgets and targets and all the rest of it.’

Phoebe winced. ‘Well, it isn’t just to do with A and E. The whole hospital is under scrutiny. So far, management seem to be coming out on top of things with positive views, but John’s brought in a troubleshooter to do the bulk of the face-to-face interviews, and he’s nobody’s fool. He gets right to the nub of things. I let him do an interview with me on camera, and although it seemed to go all right, it was a nerve-racking experience. I was conscious the whole time that anything I had to say might have repercussions in one area or another.’

‘Knowing you, I should imagine you did very well,’ Katie murmured. ‘You’ll have put forward a positive, practical argument. For myself, I’ve been trying to avoid the whole shebang. If I so much as see a camera I turn around and find another route.’ She glanced at Phoebe, frowning. ‘Does this mean that you’ll be in trouble with Mr Kirk? I know how you feel about this business…you’re caught between a rock and a hard place, aren’t you? On the one hand you want to keep on the right side of the consultant, and on the other you want to help Connor.’

Phoebe frowned. ‘I suppose I’ll find out soon enough if there’s going to be any backlash. Anyway, I have to go and talk to Mr Kirk about Rachel’s surgery. The parents are asking me if I can give them a date for the operation, and it hardly seems fair to keep them waiting, does it? Perhaps I should go and get it over with.’

‘Rather you than me.’ Katie threw her a rueful smile. ‘I’ll hold the fort here.’

A short time later, Phoebe took the lift down to the ground floor, and headed towards Mr Kirk’s office. There were things preying on her mind, other than the baby’s surgery, like how she could help Connor, and whether by setting herself up against a consultant she would be jeopardising her career. This forthcoming chat with Mr Kirk promised to be difficult.

She tapped on the consultant’s door and when he acknowledged her, she went in.

‘Phoebe,’ Mr Kirk said, looking up from his desk, his pen poised in his hand, ‘you’ve caught me in the middle of sorting through my schedule. Sit down.’ He waved a hand towards a seat opposite. ‘There are so many patients needing attention, every one of them urgent. It’s really difficult to work out who has priority.’

She made a rueful smile. ‘I hope young Rachel is one of those,’ she said quietly. ‘As I understand it, the children with this particular heart defect do very well when it’s corrected early on.’

He nodded. ‘I can give you a date for that…’ He flicked through his lists. ‘Shall we say two weeks from today?’

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘The parents will be so relieved.’

They chatted for a while longer, but when she was about to leave, she hesitated.

‘Was there something?’ he queried.

‘It’s about the waiting lists—the ones that Connor is worried about.’

He was very still for a moment, looking at her. ‘Those lists…yes…well, they are definitely unwieldy and giving me and the patients a lot of grief one way and another. There are so many people suffering from heart problems.’

He sat back in his chair, waiting for her to comment. He tapped his pen abstractedly against the palm of his other hand.

‘I’ve been thinking about that,’ she said. ‘I’ve heard in some hospitals it’s possible to clear backlogs by involving other members of the surgical team. They do a survey of patients to see which of them are willing to come in over the weekend, and the specialist registrars work with the consultants to decide which cases are the most urgent. Then, over a few weekends, they open up the operating theatres and make big inroads into the waiting lists so that things ease up all round. It doesn’t have to be an ongoing process, just a blitz over a period of a few weeks.’

He was silent for a moment. Then he said, ‘You and Dr Broughton—Connor—think very much along the same lines, don’t you?’

Phoebe sent him an uncertain glance. He couldn’t possibly know about her TV interview, could he? The programme wasn’t being aired until the day after next. ‘I’m not exactly sure about that. Do we?’

‘Oh, yes. You see, he put the very same proposition to me just yesterday. In fact, he’s been putting it to me on a fairly regular basis. I think he was hoping to wear me down with his persistence.’

‘Oh.’ She blinked. ‘You know, Mr Kirk, it may seem as though Connor is a thorn in your side, but it’s only that he’s very forward thinking. Most people I speak to say that he’s a brilliant doctor. He doesn’t want to bring about change for its own sake, but because he feels it will make a big difference to people’s lives. He has the best of intentions.’

‘Hmm. That was eloquently put, my dear.’ His gaze was fixed on her. ‘I’ll tell you what I told him, shall I?’

Filled with sudden apprehension, Phoebe cautiously nodded. ‘Please do.’

He put down his pen. ‘I told him that I think it’s a workable proposition, especially since he managed to persuade several of the other consultants to join in. He also came up with one or two ideas to ease the hospital budget at the same time. In fact, I put it to my registrar just a short time ago, and he agreed that he would work with the rest of the team to see if they could come up with a plan of action. The same applies to all the other consultants in the cardiology department.’

Phoebe let out a long breath of relief and gave him a wide smile. ‘Oh, I’m so pleased to hear you say that. It’s wonderful news.’ She paused as a thought crossed her mind. ‘Of course, a decision like that would go down really well for the TV programme, wouldn’t it? What a coup that would be.’

‘You could be right.’ He was pensive for a moment or two. ‘There’s something to be said for young upstarts like your friend, Dr Broughton. He’s a nuisance, no doubt about it, coming up with ideas that catch us all on the hop…but I have to say he has all the makings of a fine consultant…someday in the not too distant future.’

Phoebe left his office a few minutes later, a smile playing around her mouth. She had been dreading that conversation, and yet it looked as though things would turn out for the best in the end.

Except that she still didn’t know if Connor was at odds with her for her wariness in accepting him just as
he was. Would he even give her a chance to let him know that she had thought things through and decided that she wanted to be with him, no matter what the future held?

She was so deep in thought that she would have gone straight by him in the corridor if Connor hadn’t put out his arms and walked right up to her, stopping her in mid-stride.

Her body softly collided with his, and she looked up at him dazedly as his arms went around her to steady her.

‘Phoebe? Are you okay? You look as though you were miles away.’

‘Yes,’ she said haltingly, ‘I’m fine. I was just on my way back to the neonatal unit.’

‘Good. You’ll be able to tell Katie that little Sarah’s father is out of Intensive Care. She was asking me how he was doing. It looks as though he’s on the mend at last.’

‘I’m glad about that. We were all worried about him.’ Her mind was still foggy from running into him this way, and while he was holding her, it was impossible for her to think straight. Perhaps he read her thoughts, because he released her and took a step backwards, his gaze searching her features in a curious fashion.

‘You seem distracted. Is there something on your mind?’

She shook her head. She wasn’t going to open up her soul to him when she was still so unsure about what it was he really wanted. He had suggested that she might move in with him, and though he might, in the dim and distant past, have intimated that he loved her, or at least, found her lovable, she couldn’t be sure that he really meant what he said.

‘I haven’t seen much of you these last couple of days,’ she said softly, ‘and you’ve hardly said a word to me. I expect you’ve been up to your eyes in work.’

He nodded. ‘That’s exactly it. It isn’t only the work here in A and E, but I’ve been following up on my patient who had the heart attack. Mr Kirk operated on him yesterday, and there were a few complications, so I stayed with him to see that he came through it all right. It was a bit scary at first, but it looks as though his heart muscle will recover, and his life will be better than it was before.’

‘That’s really good news.’ She smiled at him. ‘You must be pleased.’

‘I am. Of course, what with that, and the interviews for the TV programme going on, it’s been really hectic.’

He started to walk with her back to the lift bay, and waited with her for the doors to open.

‘Are you going back to A and E now?’ she asked.

‘Yes, but my shift ends in a little while, and then I’m going with John over to the TV studios. They’re going to do a run-through of the programme before it airs tomorrow morning.’

She was surprised by that news. ‘Is the run-through where they edit things out?’

‘That’s right. They’ll take out anything that isn’t needed, and keep the stuff that makes for good television.’ He frowned. ‘I hope it works out all right. There was a piece about it in the local paper as well as the nationals. There’s a lot riding on it—if we manage to get our point across, it could help to change things across the country.’

She smiled, and just then the lift doors swished open. ‘I hope it all works out for you,’ she murmured. ‘Perhaps I’ll see you later, back at the house?’

He shook his head. ‘Not until tomorrow afternoon, probably. The studios are some distance from here, so I’ll be staying at John’s house overnight.’

‘Oh, I see.’ A wave of disappointment washed through her.

He reached out and touched her hair, tucking a golden strand behind her ear and letting his hand rest against her temple. ‘I’ll say goodbye, then.’

‘Yes.’ She wanted to lay her cheek against his palm and bathe in his tender embrace, but instead she waited a moment before gathering herself. Perhaps she was hoping that he might lean down and kiss her, but it didn’t happen, and so she moved away from him, stepping into the lift.

‘Goodbye,’ she murmured, as the lift doors closed. Her heart quivered. Already she was missing him.