As I got to the top of the steps, I quickly pushed my bedroom
door open. I went in and placed the roses from Jon onto my
vanity. I stared at it for a little bit, as small memories flashed in my
mind like someone was playing a picture slide show. I
remembered how sweet he was; always bringing me flowers, and
candies. How he would help my dad when he needed it. I began
to miss him; his smell, his touch, his kiss. "Um. I'm going to take a
shower if you're not." Tucker insisted, poking his head through my
bedroom door. "I'm coming, and don't you dare." I demanded; as I
hurried off to the bathroom.
Tucker was an all-star football player when he was in high
school, colleges from all over the US came to see him play and a
few of them tried to pick him up to play for them.
Dad said that it
was his decision and that he wouldn't push; but I think he wanted
to, but just didn't say anything. Tucker even did track; but I don't
think he ever wanted to leave Hillside or the Weeping Mountains,
he turned them all down. Tucker just got in with the mining
company that mined for precious gems from the Weeping
Mountains. Dad's all bent out of shape about that, but never says
anything. He just ignores it when Tucker comes home complaining
about his job. He wanted Tucker to work at the Forestry with him;
but Tucker being Tucker wanted to do his own thing.
As kids we spent a lot of time with my grandparents because
dad always had to work. So, we stayed with them, at the foot of
the Weeping Mountains a lot, roaming through the woods learning
about different things from our grandparents. I guess that's why I
enjoy my solo walks so much; it gave me a chance to think about
everything that we learned as kids.
A few years ago our grandparents got into a major car
accident while they headed home one night from our house on a
very rainy night. The cops said that they lost control of their little
green pinto; and flipped onto an embankment. They both died
instantly. I was crushed, but Tucker he took it even harder. He
didn't eat for days, he had horrible nightmares, and still till this
very day refuses to drive when it's pouring rain; and I don't blame
him either.
When it's was pouring rain, I didn't even want my dad
to go to work.
But, my dad would just say, it's not my time yet
baby, kissing my forehead and he leave for work with me crying
my eyes out at the front door.
My grandmother was a all around great lady; she always
made us things with stuff that she found in the forest, or even in
her very own yard. We would have pancakes, muffins’ and
cupcakes with the berries she picked from the bushes that were
all over the back yard; she made jerky with the meat of whatever
animal that my dad and grandfather shot.
We used to taking long
walks to the river to fill water for the plants in her yard. She always
said that the Mountains will provide what we needed; and she was
always right.
My grandfather, he was a joker; he always found humor in
everything. I guess you could say that's where Tucker get's it from.
He would hide behind the big boulders and throw berries at
grandma and me just to get a laugh. He would throw Tucker and I
into the frigid water of the lake and laugh as we would cry
because it was so cold.
He would always say; oh come on kids, it
was just a joke.
I credit my gymnastics skills all to him, because I
always knew just how to lunge myself faraway; so that I was far
enough to not get tossed.
They were great; I miss them terribly but as dad says; we all
must move on, we cannot hold on to something that just cannot
stay, no matter how hard it is.
I stepped out of the shower onto
the towel that always sat at the bottom of the tub. I wiped the
steamed mirror and just stood there for a minute. I needed to soak
everything in; everything that happened this afternoon. First of all I
finally graduated. I thought happily to myself with a smile. Then I
get roses from Jon, which I was so happy to get; then out of the
blue my mother show's up with a new husband; than I find out
their coming to my graduation dinner.
How am I supposed to react to this? I'm flattered that Jon
gave me roses; he knew they were my favorite; but then there’ my
mother.
I'll have at least another whole hour with her for dinner.
What am I supposed to say? I mean; I've always rehearsed what I
would say, if I were ever given the chance; but now that it's here; I
don't know what to make of it. I was a bit bewildered by the whole
situation.
What did she want, did she want forgiveness? Did she
want something from me? I took a deep breath as I shut off the
bathroom light, and stepped out. "Tucker; it's all yours." I called
out down the hall.
I could smell the roses from my half opened bedroom door
from the moment that I stepped out of the bathroom. I sniffed the
air that was saturated with the smell of cooked steaks, and baked
potatoes, but above all that; the smell of the roses filled the hall.
As I stepped into my bedroom, pushing the door wide open, the
smell of roses completely filled the air. Such a sweet smell, not
even a hint of the cooking food that was just down stairs. I quickly
shut the door trying to preserve every bit of this sweetness.
I found the outfit that I picked out prior to my ceremony, lying
on the bed where I left it. I slid on the fitted old jeans that I wore
over a hundred times before, and pulled on my red over the
shoulder cut top that Lily and I got last year. Luckily for me the
color never faded.
I sat there, looking at myself in the mirror, not
sure what was going to take place when everyone got here.
I
finished putting on my eyeliner and lipstick and started to brush
my long, thick red hair; and as I brushed I thought about when I
saw my mother today, she had the same hair. The thought of
coloring my hair was rather entertaining at the moment but it
would be a waste of money, my hair never took to dye, in fact it
would probably fade out in a few weeks anyway.
I carefully
twisted the feather that Katie gave to me back into my hair.
Perfect; I thought looking at myself in the mirror. Just then I
heard the humming of an car engine, followed by a honk of the
horn. I slowly gazed out my window that sat just above the front
yard. They're here, I thought watching my mom and James walk
up the driveway.
"Someone's out front." Tucker called out. "Yeah;
I know I can see them." I answered, with an attitude.
I sat back in my chair looking at myself in the mirror again;
trying to find a reason why I didn't have to be here. Maybe I could
sneak out of the window; yeah right, then where would I go.
I
thought.
All sorts of emotions were flowing through me anger,
despair, hatred, sadness, even regret.
I wasn't sure why I felt
regret, after all, it wasn't me who did anything wrong. As I sat
there allowing all these feelings to build; I began to think about the
last time I saw my mother.
I was very young when I last saw her, and remembered only a
little but I did remember that it was a stormy night; with loud
crashing thunder and bright streaks of lightning; and I know we
had a dog, a big dog named Dougy. I remember seeing my mom
sitting on the old wooden floor with Dougy next to the fireplace at
our old house, under Bypass Bridge. I remembered the fire
burning bright that night even with the lightning streaking across
the sky. I remember the smell of something burning, I thought it
was hair; I wasn't sure where it was coming from but I figured it
came from the fireplace. I vaguely remember my mom sitting up,
waving me over to her; but my dad came in, and quickly picked
me up and took me to my bedroom; then he put me in the closet
with Tucker, who was crying. I didn't understand what was
happening, or why we were in the closet. I do remember my dad
saying you'll be safe here, before he shut the door behind him.
I
know that I started to cry because I was scared.
Tucker was
crying and it was dark, and the sound of the thunder and wind
literally made the house shake.
I think I fell asleep, because the next thing I knew I woke up in
my bed with Tucker sleeping on the floor next to me. I jumped up
off the bed and ran to the living room to look for my mom but she
wasn't there anymore and neither was Dougy. There was a huge
red spot on the floor next to the fireplace, but I didn't think much of
it.
I remember asking my dad "Where's mamma?" "We all must
move on baby. We cannot hold on to something that just cannot
stay. Sorry baby she's gone." He said, with a soft sad voice.
As the memories flushed through my mind like a still frame
movie; it filled my heart with pain and sadness.
I closed my eyes
and squeezed them tightly to stop the tears from falling. I wasn't
about to let my eyeliner run; I thought to myself squeezing it a little
tighter. I felt this overwhelming feeling of hate building up on my
already emotionally drawn heart.
My hair began to move on my
back, and slowly lifted up as if someone had just turned on the
fan, my blood boiled hard throughout my body.
Suddenly I heard a knock at my bedroom door. I quickly
opened my eyes, and my hair fell slowly fell back into place; I
could still feel a slight wind blowing throughout my room. I looked
around to see if I had a fan on, but to my surprise it wasn't. I
checked the window and found it cracked open just a little; oh well
it was probably the wind.
I thought as I heard the knock again.
"Mia, are you decent?" Tucker asked from the other side of
the door. "Yeah, come in." I replied, confused at what just
happened.
"So, mom and James is here. Dad asked for me to
come get you."
He said, quickly pushing the door open. "Wow,
that's some really good roses; it stinks like a girl in here." He
continued, walking over to the bunch of roses lying on my vanity.
"I know right; they're very sweet.
By the way it's supposed to
smell like a girl in here; it is my room." I said, with a smirk.
"Ha, so are you coming?" He said heading for the door.
"Yeah; I'll be right down." I said, shaking off the confusion.
I
slipped on my black flats that Lily got for me earlier in the day.
I
twisted and turned my feet around amazed that she got my size
just right.
I spun quickly toward the door and hurried down the
hall, slamming my bedroom door shut so that I could keep the
sweet smell in my own little space.
As I got to the steps I noticed someone was standing at the
bottom of the staircase. Half way down the stairs, I realized that it
was Jon.
I jerked back, nearly slipping on the steps, utterly
stunned that he was here. "Um.. Hi Mia." He said, looking at me
with his beautiful brown eyes. "Ah; Jon."
I replied, completely at a
loss for words at his appearance. "Um, what are you doing here?"
I asked still very shocked that he was here. "Um, your dad invited
me earlier.
We kind of ran into each other, and he invited me so I
said I'd come.
I..Um.. I hope you don't mind." He answered with
his soft smile. So that's why there were three extra seats at the
table I thought quietly to myself. "No, I don't. In fact now I can say
thank you properly. Thank you, for the beautiful roses, or should I
have thanked Steve?" I said, returning his smile with a nod of my
head.
"You look great Mia." He said looking me over a little.
"Thanks, so do you." I said, as I leaned back, doing the same.
"Uh, if you guys are done with your small talk, maybe you could
get out of the way. You know I am the better looking of everyone
here, and you know how much I hate being late." Tucker said, as
he chuckled his way past us, stopping only to shake Jon's hand.
"Yeah right." I shot back. "Huh, you're still the same." Jon said
shaking his head.
"Who, Tucker, yes he's still the same weirdo he
always was." I said with a giggle.
I could hear the sound of different voices coming from the
