The Redemption of Darius Sterne (15 page)

She now knew for certain that it would.

Because her reaction to Darius today, and their lovemaking just now, told her that she had allowed her heart to become involved. She had no idea if that tumult of emotions was actually love, but she definitely had strong feelings for Darius, much stronger feelings than she had ever felt for any other man. Strong enough that she had allowed him to see her scars. That she had then given herself to him willingly.

She hadn't really needed to read all that stuff online about Darius, regarding the history of his brief physical relationships with beautiful models and actresses, to know that he wasn't the type of man who did emotional relationships.

Any more than Andy was a woman who did purely physical ones.

Although Darius certainly couldn't be blamed for thinking that she was, after the way she had behaved with him just now.

The best that she could hope for now was to try to salvage at least some of her pride.

She stood up. ‘So...' She frowned at the sound of a mobile phone ringing. It wasn't hers.

Darius muttered under his breath as he drew his mobile from the back pocket of his jeans, a frown between his eyes as he checked the number on the screen. ‘I'm sorry but I have to take this.'

Andy nodded abruptly as she turned away to finish tidying up the kitchen, leaving Darius the privacy to take his call. Or at least it started out that way.

‘What the—? When?' he demanded of the caller harshly. ‘I'll be there as soon as I can. Tell Xander... Never mind, I'll tell him myself when I get there.' He ended the call abruptly. ‘I have to leave immediately, Miranda.' He sounded distracted.

Andy had already guessed that much from Darius's half of the conversation. ‘Is everything okay? Well, obviously it isn't.' She grimaced. ‘What's happened to Xander?' She watched Darius closely, easily noting the pallor of his cheeks, and the shadows in his eyes.

He frowned grimly. ‘He was involved in a car accident during the early hours of this morning, but the hospital had no idea who to contact until he regained consciousness a short time ago and could tell them my mobile number.'

Andy took a step towards him, only to come to an abrupt halt as she recognised that at some time over the past thirty seconds he had placed an invisible wall about himself, and one which she couldn't penetrate. ‘Is he going to be okay?'

‘Let's hope so.' Darius intended to find out the details of Xander's injuries for himself later; for the moment it was enough to take in that his twin was injured and in the hospital. ‘I really do have to go to him, Miranda.'

‘Well, of course you do,' she accepted briskly.

Earlier Darius had wanted—needed—to put some distance between them, if only so that he could clear his head enough to try and work out what the hell had happened here today. But he certainly hadn't wanted to leave under these circumstances.

The sooner Darius could get to the hospital, and see his twin for himself, the better he would like it.

‘Would you like me to drive you to the hospital?'

Darius looked up sharply. ‘Sorry?'

‘I asked if you would like me to drive you to the hospital,' Andy repeated softly.

‘Why?' He looked totally bewildered by the offer.

‘It's what friends do for each other, Darius.'

‘Is it?'

‘Yes. Besides—' she avoided meeting his piercing gaze ‘—you're obviously upset, and probably shouldn't be driving at the moment.'

He continued to frown as he gave a slow shake of his head. ‘I'm going to need my car later...'

‘Then I'll drive you there in your car and get a taxi back. Look, I'm not asking any longer, Darius, I'm
telling you
I'm driving you to the hospital,' she added briskly. An uncertain Darius was definitely out of character. ‘What happens after that will be completely up to you.'

Although she already had a feeling that she wouldn't be seeing Darius again after today.

CHAPTER EIGHT

D
ARIUS
KNEW
HE
'
D
had every reason to feel concerned about his twin as he looked down at Xander lying asleep in the hospital bed. His brother's face was deathly pale apart from a colourful bruise on his brow from where his head had struck the windscreen. The doctor had taken Darius aside in the corridor and informed him that they were currently monitoring Xander for concussion, that his ribs were badly bruised, and his left leg had been badly broken, and required surgery.

Xander's lashes flickered several times before his lids were slowly raised and he looked up at Darius with dark and pain-filled eyes.

‘What the hell did you think you were doing?' Darius's voice sounded harsh in the otherwise silence of the room, his hands clenched at his sides. ‘I realise you've been acting more recklessly than usual this past few months but not to the point of nearly killing yourself.'

‘Darius,' Andy remonstrated gently, knowing it was worry for his twin that motivated his anger, and that he would probably regret this outburst later if it wasn't stopped now.

Darius had been tensely silent on the drive over to the hospital, offering no objection when Andy got out of the car with the intention of accompanying him inside. Not, she had realised, because he had actually wanted her with him, but because he was so distracted and worried about his brother that he had simply forgotten she was there.

Her heart melted now as she saw the desolation in Darius's expression as he looked down at her blankly.

‘I'm not suicidal, Darius,' Xander spoke huskily, as if it hurt to do so. Which it probably did, when his ribs were badly bruised. ‘I just... I went on to the club late last night and something happened, Darius.' Xander's voice cracked, dark eyes glistening with emotion. ‘Something so—I lost control, Darius!' He gave a pained groan. ‘I lost control, and I never wanted to be like
him
!'

‘Him?' Darius repeated cautiously.

‘Our father!' Xander snapped angrily. ‘I don't want—I never want to be him.'

‘You aren't in the least like him,' Darius cut in harshly. ‘And you never could be.'

‘But—'

‘You are nothing like him, Xander,' Darius insisted firmly. ‘If you lost control then you had a damned good reason for doing so, I'm sure,' he added grimly.

Xander gave a shake of his head. ‘There's no excuse for the way I behaved.'

‘There is!' Darius's hands were once again clenched at his sides. ‘There must be,' he insisted firmly.

Xander's expression softened. ‘I want to believe that, but...'

‘But nothing,' his twin dismissed bleakly. ‘Xander, we both suffered at his hands, you physically, and me— Do you have any idea of the guilt I've carried around all these years?'

Xander visibly swallowed. ‘Guilt?'

‘Yes, damn it, because I was the one he didn't hit!' Darius moved restlessly away from the bed, his face as pale as his twin's. ‘So many times I tried to draw his attention away from you, but it never worked.' He drew in a ragged breath. ‘And all these years I've wondered if I could have done something differently. If I had maybe just...'

‘It wasn't your fault, Darius,' Xander reassured him gruffly.

‘It always felt as if it was!' He breathed heavily. ‘That last time he hit you—I just wanted it to stop, Xander. For
him
to stop!'

‘I know, Darius.' His twin spoke softly. ‘Mother and I have always known, but been too afraid to ask, to confirm, our suspicions. I've dealt with it by ignoring it, and Mother has dealt with it by a “don't ask, don't tell” policy that has resulted in the two of you barely speaking to each other unless it's absolutely necessary.'

‘Dealt with what?' Darius looked baffled.

Andy had been feeling decidedly uncomfortable these past few minutes, knowing she was intruding on a very private conversation between the two brothers, and that she was learning much more about the Sterne twins than Darius would thank her for when he was feeling less emotional. ‘I think I should go now and leave the two of you to talk,' she put in softly.

The brothers both turned to look at her blankly, confirming they had both forgotten she was there.

‘When, or if, you have the time, could I ask that you call me to let me know how Xander is?' she now asked Darius gently before turning to smile at Xander. ‘And you just concentrate on getting better, hmm?' she encouraged huskily. ‘Your brother loves you very much.'

Xander's smile was bleak. ‘I know.'

‘I'll walk you out, Miranda,' Darius stated evenly.

‘There's no need, really.'

‘There's every need,' he insisted firmly. ‘I'll be back in a few minutes,' he assured Xander before following Andy from the room. ‘I'm sorry you had to hear any of that,' he said gruffly once they were outside in the hospital corridor.

Andy wasn't. The conversation between the two brothers had been very revealing. And it confirmed, she believed, that the way Darius distanced himself from others, and his difficult relationship with his mother, all stemmed from a childhood spent with what now sounded like an abusive father, and a mother who preferred not to talk about it after the death of her husband.

She placed her hand on Darius's arm. ‘You and Xander need to talk.'

‘It seems that we do.' He nodded grimly. ‘I— Thank you for driving me here today, Miranda. I appreciate it more than I can tell you. I'll talk to you again when I've sorted this mess out.'

‘Don't worry about me, Darius,' Andy hastened to reassure him, not wanting him to feel as if he had to contact her, be with her, again. ‘Just concentrate on sorting out your relationship with Xander and your mother.'

He grimaced. ‘It sounds pretty messed up, hmm?'

‘It sounds...complicated. But if anyone can resolve it, you can,' she added reassuringly.

‘I admire your confidence in my abilities—' he smiled bleakly ‘—but it sounds as if I should have done that years ago.'

Andy squeezed his arm. ‘Then you'll do it now.'

Darius looked down at her. ‘You really believe that, don't you?'

She smiled. ‘You're Darius Sterne. Of course I believe it.'

He took both of her hands in his much larger ones. ‘And you're Miranda Jacobs. And you should dance again.'

‘What?' Andy gave him a frowning glance.

‘You should dance at my mother's gala, Miranda,' he told her gruffly.

She swallowed. ‘I don't think...' She gave a slightly dazed shake of her head. ‘I'll think about it.'

‘Good.' He gave her hands a squeeze before releasing them and stepping back. ‘I'll call you later,' he promised.

* * *

‘Mother, I wanted to talk to you about— Miranda?'

Andy had given a start at the unexpected sound of Darius's voice, her hands starting to shake and causing the fine china teacup to rattle in its saucer, as she turned to look at him across Catherine Latimer's elegantly decorated blue and cream drawing room.

It had been five days since Sunday night when Darius had called her and reassured her that the doctors had said that Xander would eventually make a full recovery.

Since then there had been only silence between them.

And it wasn't too difficult to guess why.

Andy had known at the time that Darius wouldn't thank her for overhearing that conversation between himself and Xander.

Although she doubted that was the only reason for Darius's silence.

The two of them had made love last Sunday, and the fact that Darius hadn't contacted her since seemed to indicate he now regretted it. As Andy had suspected he might. He might have desired her, wanted to make love to her, but she really wasn't his type.

Looking at Darius now, dressed in one of those exquisite business suits he habitually wore, made it hard for Andy to believe he was the same man who had made love to her the previous weekend.

Difficult, but not impossible, as the heated awareness now suffusing Andy's body testified!

Caught up now, as she was, in the direct glow of his eyes, Andy couldn't have answered his question at that moment if her life had depended upon it.

Darius strolled further into the drawing room, his narrowed gaze fixed firmly on her. ‘Miranda?' he repeated huskily.

Andy carefully placed her teacup down on the coffee table before standing up, her legs trembling as she did so. Seeing Darius again so unexpectedly had thrown her completely.

She was relieved she had at least worn a formal pale green blouse, tucked into tailored black trousers, for this arranged meeting today with Catherine Latimer. Her hair was also newly washed and styled, so she could at least meet Darius on an equal footing in regard to her appearance.

She turned to smile reassuringly at the older woman. ‘I think we've said all we need to say for today, Catherine, so I'll leave you alone to talk with your son now.'

Pleasure shone in the older woman's eyes. ‘I can't tell you how pleased I am that you've changed your mind.'

Darius might now regret their intimacies of the previous weekend, but that didn't mean that Andy hadn't listened to him at the hospital when he had suggested she should dance at the gala his mother was organising. Especially when he had been so confident that she could.

Determined not to dwell on thoughts of Darius, of what he meant to her, Andy had instead agonised about whether or not she could dance again in public. Was she was emotionally strong enough to do so, as well as physically?

Darius's confidence in her had been the deciding factor in all that agonising. He believed in her. Believed she could do it.

Her visit to Catherine Latimer today, to accept her invitation to dance at the gala, was the result of all that agonising.

Although she didn't think now was the time for her to talk about that decision with Darius.

Andy glanced across at the glowering Darius. ‘I really do have to go now. No, please don't bother to call the butler,' she added hastily as Catherine would have summoned the middle-aged retainer who had shown her into the drawing room earlier. ‘It's a nice day, so I didn't bring a coat, and I can find my own way out.'

Darius was still so stunned at finding Miranda here that he was only half listening to the conversation between his mother and his—wait, what exactly was Miranda to him? His
lover?
Because there was no doubt in his mind, despite the fact that he deliberately hadn't seen or spoken to her since last Sunday, that that was exactly what she was.

And she had been positively the last person he had been expecting to see when he'd called to see his mother this morning!

So much so that he couldn't even think of the words to now stop Miranda from leaving as she moved quietly past him before exiting the drawing room and stepping out into the hallway.

Andy gratefully breathed the fresh spring air into her lungs once she stood on the top step outside the house, leaning back gratefully on the front door of the Latimers' London home, her knees feeling suddenly weak.

Despite her hopes that Darius and his mother had healed the long-held rift between them, Darius had still been the last person Andy had expected to see today.

It was a shock that had so obviously been mutual. Darius had looked as stunned to see her as she was to—

Andy almost fell backwards into the house as the front door was wrenched open behind her, and she fought to retain her balance even as she turned to face Darius.

She instantly raised her chin defensively. ‘I know how strange this must look to you, but I assure you my visit to your mother this morning has absolutely nothing to do with you.'

Darius smiled as a five-day-long heaviness seemed to lift from his chest. ‘I never for a moment assumed that it did.'

‘No?' There was still that challenging spark in her eyes.

Darius tilted his head. ‘Are you angry with me?'

Andy opened her mouth, and then closed it again, as she realised she
was
angry. And hurt.

This man had made love to her last Sunday, and apart from a brief—very brief—telephone call late on Sunday evening Andy hadn't heard another word from him since. About anything.

The newspapers had been full of the story of Xander Sterne's car accident this past week, describing his injuries as extensive. Obviously the press were prone to exaggeration, but when Andy had enquired after Xander this morning Catherine Latimer had assured her that Xander would only be in the private clinic for a few more days.

But Andy knew it wasn't Darius's silence regarding his brother that hurt her.

She had
known
after their lovemaking on Sunday that she would never mean anything more to Darius than those brief moments of pleasure. And his silence these past five days had only confirmed that. It hurt so much.

Oh, she hadn't fooled herself for a minute into believing that their lovemaking meant any more to him than had the legion of other women he had taken to bed over the past fifteen years. But she hadn't realised just how much it would hurt not to receive so much as even a courtesy phone call from him this past week. His complete silence had just been insulting.

She drew in a deep breath. ‘I have to go. I have a class in a little under an hour.'

Darius frowned. Okay, so his emotions had been so—so confused these past five days that he had made a conscious decision not to call Miranda again until he knew what was going on in his head, but that didn't mean he hadn't thought about her constantly since Sunday. That he hadn't relived and enjoyed, over and over again, the memories of the two of them making love together. Or that he hadn't puzzled over exactly why that was. And what it meant...

Because he had done all of those things.