The Regret Series Complete Collection Box Set: Lost to You, Take This Regret, and if Forever Comes (67 page)

But what was Elizabeth supposed to think when she woke without me morning after morning? What was she supposed to feel? Was she supposed to believe I loved her, that I’d stand by her side no matter what came our way, like I’d promised her I would?

Fuck
.

I squeezed my hands into fists.

What had I done?

I felt a glimmer of Elizabeth’s touch, felt her mouth near my ear as she promised,
I’m going to love you forever
.

My chest tightened and my head spun.

The truth was, even though it was Elizabeth who’d forced me out, I’d walked away because it was too
hard
. Because life was hard and unfair. Because Elizabeth was hurting and she hurt me in return. Because I couldn’t stand to stay there and watch her suffer anymore. I realized now that seeing her that way had cut me so deeply, I didn’t know how to handle it.

I’d had the overpowering urge to shake her, to force her to snap out of it, because all I wanted was to see her smile again. I should have just sat by her side, taken it,
endured it
, even when the distance between us had seemed insurmountable.

I should have
stayed
.

I always knew, even though she never came straight out and said it, somewhere inside of Elizabeth, she believed I had let her down.

I had to admit now that I had.

I’d been so wrapped up in giving her perfection, I hadn’t been prepared to hold her up when devastation hit.

Chapter Twelve

Christian

Early June, Four Months Earlier

The incessant call of the alarm clock beeped from my nightstand. With almost a smile, I quickly reached out and silenced it. I was already awake. I lay on my back, staring at the shadows that rose then faded on the ceiling. Early morning threatened at the window. To my right, Elizabeth’s deep, even breaths bled into the silence, like a harmony that played at my ear.

The deepest sense of contentment blanketed me.

I rolled onto my side, careful not to wake her. Lost in the abyss of sleep, she faced me. Her blonde hair flowed out all around her, and a single lock dripped over her shoulder and brushed along her neck.

Peaceful. Perfect. Beautiful.

Forever beautiful.

I gently brushed my fingertips across the sharp angle of her jaw, then down to caress along the cap of her delicate shoulder.

Her lips parted, but she didn’t awaken.

As I watched her, adoration lifted one side of my mouth, and I trailed my fingers farther to her left hand that was fisted on the bed, tucked up close to her face. The diamond on her finger caught a glimmer of light that slanted in from the rising sun outside the window. It danced and played, a symbol of our forever.

Tomorrow, this woman would finally be my wife.

How had I ever become so favored as this? Maybe I could call it luck. But I knew better than that. This was redemption. Elizabeth had saved me with her forgiveness, had saved me with her honest heart.

She’d given me back my family, and together, we would grow it, foster it. Foster us.

Joy pounded steadily in my chest.

No, things just didn’t get any better than this.

I stared at her for a second more, before I reluctantly untangled myself from the comfort of our twisted blanket and sheets. I stood and stretched my arms over my head, wishing I could crawl back in bed with Elizabeth and wake her up the way I really wanted to. I’d woken up with an intense urge to bury myself in her, to get lost in her body for hours and hours.

Instead I’d lain silently at her side and just listened to her breathe.

She needed her rest. She was feeling so much better than she did in the beginning, but that baby girl still took so much out of her. Today would be nonstop with the last minute wedding plans…and tomorrow…I just wanted her to feel well, to bask in it, for her wedding day to be perfect.

That’s what I wanted it to be.

Perfection in Elizabeth’s eyes.

I already knew it’d be perfection in mine simply because in it, Elizabeth would finally become my wife.

Nothing else mattered.

Casting one last smile at her sleeping form, I forced myself into the alcove bathroom and turned the shower on high. I stripped off my underwear and waited for the water to warm up. Steam began to spill over the top of the walk-in shower, and I stepped into the heated spray. I lifted my face to the flood of water and scrubbed my palms up through my hair as I drenched my body.

Exhilaration traveled beneath my skin, an excitement that buzzed in my bones. I couldn’t wait.

After so long, I had finally made this
right
.

My senses prickled in awareness as I felt it…eyes tracing me from behind. Or maybe it was her smell that infiltrated my mind. Either way, Elizabeth’s presence engulfed me.

Slowly I turned to look over my shoulder, blinking through the droplets of water that clung to my lashes.

And she was there,
my life
. Half her body was concealed as she braced herself on the outside of the shower wall, peering in at me. Her head was tipped to the side. Waves of dark blonde dripped over one shoulder and brushed across the swell of her perfect, round breast.

A muffled groan rumbled from somewhere deep in my chest as my attention raked down to relish in every exposed inch of her luscious skin.

Completely bare, Elizabeth stood before me.

I swallowed hard. “What are you doing, Elizabeth?”

She was still thin, though her hips were just a little fuller, and distinct lines cut into the muscles of her defined legs. And
her stomach. Was it wrong that I found that bump the sexiest thing I’d ever seen? She wasn’t all that big yet, but it was pronounced, a round swelling of her belly that fit perfectly in the splay of both of my hands.

She was watching me with something akin to lust, though that look harbored so much more than simple desire. In it was everything I felt when I looked at her.

Devotion and need. Adoration and this passion that would never let us go.

I grew hard, my body reacting to this temptation. I was all too happy to step into her snare.

“I woke up to an empty bed,” she murmured in the most seductive way, in a way that only Elizabeth could because it was only her voice that I recognized. “And I don’t get to sleep with you tonight…and…I just needed you,” whispered from her mouth. She gently lifted her chin and dragged her fingertips down the soft slope of her neck. Her fingers fluttered as they trailed down to the valley between her breasts, beckoning me to look at her, to see her.

She was beautiful, unbelievably sexy. Every erotic flick of her fingers was enough to drive me mad.

My eyes made another pass over her body as she stood there, taunting me.

A rosy glow blossomed across her skin on my blatant perusal.

Uninhibited and
shy
.

This was where Elizabeth captured me, where I was her captive, because I knew she’d only been this free with me, that this was the trust we shared.

An edgy smile pulled at my lips, and I fully turned so she could see what she did to me. Water pelted my back as I faced her, my erection straining, begging for her touch.

“You need me, huh?” I said, the words hoarse with the hunger that steadily built within me. “I’m pretty sure it’s me who needs you.”

A surprised moan rolled from her, and she bit at her lip and looked up at me beneath the veil of hair that had fallen across one side of her face. A mist of steam dampened her skin as she inched into the shower. Goosebumps visibly flashed across her flesh. Brown eyes locked on mine as she approached, her eyes simmering in a slow blaze.

With her stare, the burn beneath my skin ignited, flamed, a raging fire that singed and seared. Just her gaze was enough to mark me.

But Elizabeth already was there. Written all over my heart, scored into my spirit.

Watching me, she dragged her fingers lower, let them pass over her stomach and slip between her thighs.

My jaw clenched as my attention fastened on her movements. My tongue darted out to dampen my already wet lips, and my eyes flicked up to meet hers before they tumbled down, seeking out the tease she injected into every single one of her actions.

Fuck
.

A muted groan parted my lips when Elizabeth raked her nails over the perfect pink bud of her breast. Both pebbled at the touch.

“What are you doing?” I asked again, the rough, ragged words dropping from my mouth, because I was pretty sure what she was doing was driving me straight to the edge. My muscles twitched, every inch of me aching for her.

She took a single step forward, where the fall of water stretched out just enough to hit her stomach. Soft fingers caressed along my chest and down the plane of my stomach, her
chin tilted up as she met my gaze. Soft, tender, her expression so sweet, but still intense, filled with need.

Beneath her touch, my abdomen tightened and jumped.

She rocked a little, almost tentative as she took me in her hand.

I jerked and sucked in a sharp jolt of air.

“I woke up and heard the shower running,” she murmured, never looking away. “All I could think about was you in here, the water falling all around you, every inch of you drenched in it, how beautiful you are.” She swept her tongue across her lips, frowned as if she were searching for what to say. “I couldn’t stop thinking about how you’re finally really mine. All those times in college when you promised me you were going to marry me, and after everything, you still held true.”

Shudders wracked through my senses as she guided her hand up then slowly back down again. We were nose-to-nose, her whispered words like an embrace as they washed across my face and her voice dropped low. “I wanted to touch you…wanted you to touch me.”

A growl emanated from somewhere inside me, something that felt like greed, a possessiveness wringing me tight. Because we
belonged
. Fully. There were no longer uncertainties or doubts.

I wrapped my palm around the back of her neck and pulled her flush to me. My mouth seized hers, forceful, needy, demanding. I captured her tongue with mine, stroked and pleaded just as firmly as she continued to stroke me. Water beat down on us from above, soaking her hair and slipping down her gorgeous body. Goosebumps rose across her delicious flesh, charging my already heated skin.

“God, Elizabeth, do you have any idea what finding you standing here does to me?” I demanded through my aggressive
kiss. I flattened myself against her as I framed her face in my hands. “Do you have any idea how insane you drive me?”

I looked down at her, feeling her warmth seeping into me, this girl who was the one.

She gripped me a little tighter. “It’s no different than what you do to me.”

The buzz in my bones awakened, quickened to a roar. Emotion swelled, thickened as it traveled through my chest, evidence of this love that thrived, one that gave me breath.

I took both her hands and wrapped them around my neck, holding her close.

Elizabeth shook in my hold, and I moved to trail my nose from high up on her cheek and down. Nudging her jaw, I sought out the soft skin of her neck, kissed her, adored her, traveled up to suck at the sensitive flesh at the hollow of her ear. I nipped and bit, then brushed my lips across the reddened skin to soothe the burn.

My mouth found the lobe of her ear, and I drew it between my teeth, released it before I spoke, the words scraping up my throat.

“I woke up absolutely aching for you today, Elizabeth. You lying in bed with me, tempting me while you slept.”

I slid my nose beneath her ear, nuzzled deep into her hair. I inhaled, drew her in, because she was the one who sustained my life.

“Did you know that? Did you know how badly I needed to feel you this morning? You drive me completely mad because it should be impossible that one woman could affect me this way.” I pulled back an inch and pinned her with my stare. “Only you.”

With my confession, her lips parted, brown eyes burning into mine. When she spoke, it was earnest, filled with truth.

“Only you…that’s all there’s ever been, Christian. You’re all there will ever be.”

An ardent smile curved her mouth—the same mouth I conquered with mine. My tongue swept over hers, urgent in its claim. She yielded to it, opening to me.

My hands roamed, skimming down the small of her back and to her bottom. I tipped her up and ground myself against her warm center.

Elizabeth gasped and buried her fingers in my hair. I took the opportunity to bend her back, dipped down to run my tongue along the rise of her breast. I sucked her nipple onto my mouth, rolled it against my tongue as I laved and teased.

She writhed.

Elizabeth suddenly dropped to her knees.

Fuck
.

There was no stopping it, the desire that slammed me, knocked the breath from my lungs as she swirled her tongue around my tip before she took me whole.

“Shit, Elizabeth…” My head hit the shower wall. I grasped her by the head, my fingers buried in her hair. Pressing my thumbs into her jaw, I made a vain attempt to stop her assault.

But it just felt too damned good.

My hands picked up her rhythm, guiding her as she worked me into a frenzy that I was helpless to stop.

What she couldn’t take of me in her mouth she took in her hand. And she was making all these little noises that were quickly pushing me to the brink, winding me up so fast I was about to break.

“Uh…that feels incredible,” I grunted. Too good. Pleasure coiled. I needed to stop this before it was over before we even
began. “Fuck,” I hissed as I gripped her by the hair and slowly drew her back.

Elizabeth’s needy eyes met mine as she reluctantly released me.

I was aching, hard, straining, burning to be inside her. I cupped her cheeks and forced her to stand, urged her up against the shower wall. Her back hit the tiles with a thud.

I sank two fingers deep inside her.

Elizabeth gasped, her head rocking back as she searched for air. Her body bowed, arching as if she were instinctively seeking me out, as desperate for my body as I was for hers. I hovered an inch over her with one hand pressed to the wall just above her head. My heavy erection begged where it slipped along the base of her belly.