The Reluctant Cowboy (10 page)

Sierra was quiet as she met her colleagues and boarded the plane.  She let them do most of the talking, discussing their trip and sightseeing.  When they boarded, she sat by Amy, who inquired, “You okay?”

“I will be. Thanks,” pretending to read on her Kindle, because her emotions were still jumbled.  She had been the one to ask Cole not to pursue her.  She should be grateful there was no scene other than her tears.  Cole had left a door open to her and she should be grateful.  She would think about tomorrow…
tomorrow
. She rolled her eyes at her own Scarlett O’Hara analogy. 

She said her goodbyes to her colleagues as they arrived at the Columbus airport.  She went to the Red Lot to collect her car and make the thirty-minute drive home.  She had the stuffed horse in the seat beside her, as she pulled into her driveway.  Her mother came out the front door and down the couple of steps towards her, setting down the bundle she was holding. 

Sierra walked quickly toward the little girl as she carried the stuffed animal with her.  “Mamamama……orsey,” the toddler cried.  Sierra scooped her up and hugged her tight.  The little girl squealed her delight in seeing her mommy and the stuffed animal she was holding.  Sierra started to cry as she stared into the same blue eyes she had just said goodbye to a few hours earlier. 

Skye Sara Morgan was the fifteen-month-old daughter conceived from Sierra’s one night stand with an incredible man.  She continued to listen as her daughter chattered in her ear and was pulling on her hair.  Her dad came out to help with her bags and her mother placed an arm around her free shoulder, as they went inside. 

Sierra moved in with her parents when she told them she was pregnant.  She knew as independent as she was, that she would need their love and support. 

She didn’t know she was pregnant for the first four months.  Her periods had always been irregular and that is why she hadn’t worried about getting pregnant in the first place.  She was a virgin who had just had a period the weekend before the wedding.  The thought of getting pregnant never entered her mind.  She had continued to bleed sporadically for the first few months of her pregnancy.  She didn’t have any other signs until she noticed the “bump”.  She had been in great shape when she conceived and had continued with her normal days of running in the mornings and riding horses on the weekends. 

The only sign that she didn’t recognize was how easily fatigued she would feel.  She didn’t want to go to the bar on the weekends with her friends, but enjoyed staying in her apartment, reading a book or hanging out with Dana and Doug at their place.  It was in the fall of last year when Dana had noticed the bump herself.  At first she had teased Sierra and asked if she was eating a lot of junk food. 

It was when the first “kick” occurred that Sierra went into a state of shock.  She recalled being at work and feeling Skye move inside her.  Hiding her panic, she called Dana and agreed to meet at her place.  Dana had picked up a drugstore pregnancy test and the result was positive. 

After the initial shock wore off, she made an appointment with her OB/GYN to confirm.  She had been worried about not getting the proper care in the first trimester, but the doctor had assured her that everything was fine and gave her a prescription for pre-natal vitamins.  The doctor told her to continue her normal routine and the pregnancy went smoothly. 

She was pregnant when Dana and Doug got married, but she was barely showing and the dress hid it well. 

When she told her parents, she was very emotional.  She knew they would be supportive, but her biggest fear was that they would be disappointed.  Although they were initially surprised, they immediately offered to help and made the experience a happy time.  Even her younger brother hugged her and told her everything would be all right.  Initially hesitant about moving in with them, she realized she would need all of their guidance and support.

Her father had taken early retirement and her mother was volunteering at local animal shelters and at her friend’s veterinary practice.  They offered to take care of Skye, while Sierra continued to work.  She would be able to save her money to eventually buy a place of her own for the two of them. 

Of course, she had considered telling Cole when she first realized she was pregnant.  Her first instinct was to reach out to him.  She knew she only had to ask Vanessa for his information and she could track him down.  Because she would never have considered an abortion, even if she had known earlier, she was afraid he would be accusatory and then her fears escalated that he would try to take Skye away from her and get sole custody.  Rational thinking seemed to escape her, as hormones controlled her body.  It was during that time that she decided not to tell anyone who the father was. 

Dana and Doug were the only people she had confided in after her affair with Cole.  They encouraged her to contact him, but she had become too afraid and upset.  At the time, they couldn’t change her mind, so they did what she asked and just supported her.  To this day, no one else knew or asked who the father was.  Not her family, not her other close friends.  If the subject came up when she was present, she would just tell people that he’s not a part of her life now. 

Her own parents had pressed for more information, but she was honest with them and with a few of her closest friends.  She told them the truth -- it had been a one night affair and she didn’t know much about him.  She knew she had been the center of gossip for a time, but now that Skye was born, healthy and happy, she didn’t care what people thought. 

As time went by, she had slowly let the idea of telling Cole fade.  In her mind, it was too late to tell him about the beautiful daughter he gave her.  She didn’t want to put any burden on him. 

She was very proud of the mother she was and loved Skye with all of her heart.  Skye was such a smart and sweet baby and kept that easy demeanor as she grew into a toddler.  Sierra’s mother commented on how lucky Sierra was to have such an “easy” baby.  Skye’s nature was happy and content.  She wasn’t fussy like other children and had good sleeping habits from birth. 

She never took a pacifier, instead she chose the ear of her favorite bunny blanket.  Sierra had to purchase a few of them in order to launder them as Skye grew.  Now that she was walking, she carried that bunny blanket with her everywhere and if she didn’t have it, the entire household knew it. 

As sweet tempered as she was, she also had a set of lungs on her that she used if she wasn’t happy.  Sierra was so grateful to her parents for being there for both of them.  Her dad worked on spoiling Skye, but that was okay with Sierra.  He had spoiled her, too, with his love and doting. 

She made sure she gave her parents their needed alone time and in the evenings and weekends had Skye to herself.  She would go visit with Dana or take Skye to Jeremy and Riley’s place to see the horses.  Riley had a two-year-old little boy named Justin, so they would play together.  Riley was also pregnant with their second child, so they shared each other’s baby items when needed. 

Several times, she wanted to confide in Riley about Cole, but could never seem to gather the courage.  Riley and Vanessa had been like older sisters to her and she loved them, but just couldn’t find the right time or simply chickened out. 

She wondered if Vanessa knew more than she let on.  Knowing more about their history, she had to pause and consider it. 
Maybe Cole told her about the affair.  No,
she didn’t think he would.  After spending more time with him, she realized that he was a gentleman and wouldn’t have done that. 

When she saw him in New York, she was curious if he had ever tried to find her after Vanessa’s wedding.  Her own self-esteem had wanted to know.  Once again, she had chickened out in asking, worried that his answer would hurt her feelings. 

Now that she knew him better, she wondered about her past decisions.  She was starting to see things from his perspective. 
What if the roles were reversed and she didn’t know about the baby?  How would she feel?  She would be hurt and angry.
  It was the anger part that scared her the most.  Even if she mustered the courage to tell him, she was terrified that he would try to take Skye away.  She couldn’t and wouldn’t take that chance.  Skye was the most precious gift a woman could have. 

Cole was sitting in the conference room, listening to his staff discuss the proposals.  Now that he was personally involved with one of them, he had to take a step back and trust his COO and staff to make the decision.  A part of him wanted them to pick Nations in the hopes he would have to go to Columbus and possibly see her again.  Another part of him wanted them to turn down Nations so he could try and close that chapter and move on for himself.  As the week wore on, it was decided unanimously that they accept Nations’ proposal. 

Cole knew he didn’t have to be a part of the final meeting.  He could offer to have them come back to New York for the decision and the signing of the contracts, but he also knew that Sierra would more than likely not be a part of the negotiations.  She had been one presenter, but the company would have another team come in to execute the contractual side. 

During the first week apart from Sierra, Cole was able to stay focused on work and made himself stay busy.  He worked out longer at the gym in the evenings to exhaust himself, before he went home.  It was there, late at night, lying in bed, when he would think of her. 

After another couple of weeks passed, he wasn’t sleeping well and turned on the TV to watch the news.  He saw the red Netflix box pop up in the corner of his large screen.  Automatically, he clicked on it and looked for Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  He was hooked after the first episode. 

Every night, he came home exhausted, but watched a few episodes until he completed all seven seasons.  One night, he sent a text to his friend, Zach, asking if he and Carrie wanted to go out to dinner with him.  He met up with them at a local bar/restaurant that wasn’t as busy during the week as it was on the weekends. 

“Good to hear from you, Cole,” Zach said, as he held out the chair for his wife. 

“Did you enjoy Wicked?”  Carrie inquired, reaching for the wine menu. 

“We did, it was very good.”  He watched as Zach and Carrie exchanged a glance between them, then retorted, “What?  Very good isn’t good enough?  Fine.  It was great?” 

“You said
we
,” Carrie reminded him, smiling. 

Cole sat back against his chair.  “I did, didn’t I?  Well,
we
both did enjoy it.” 

“I’m sorry, Cole, I’m not picking on you,” Carrie pressed on, “I just don’t remember a time where you used the ‘we’ word when discussing a woman.”  Cole paused to consider that while they placed their drink orders with the bartender.  “We were hoping you would tell us more about her.  She was lovely and you seemed….”  Carrie paused and gave Zach another knowing smile. 

Cole was grinning now at her apparent discomfort.  “Go on.” 

She laughed, “You know, different.” 

Cole hadn’t invited them out to discuss Sierra, but to have a fun night and get caught up on what they were doing.  Since they conversation came up, he decided to confide his “relationship” with her. 

“You know how Carrie is.  She wants everyone to be happy and she worries about you.  She doesn’t think it’s natural for you to still be single.”  Zach laughed as Carrie blushed and took a swat at him. 

“You are so smart and handsome and caring, Cole.  I want you to find someone that makes you happy.” 

Cole took a long drink and smiled, “I met her two years ago at Vanessa’s wedding.” 

Zach and Carrie sipped their drinks, while Cole told them about the one night affair and then what happened in New York.  They listened intently and Carrie asked a few appropriate questions.  When he finished, he was on his third drink and feeling more relaxed than he had for a long time.  It felt good to discuss her with his friends.  He didn’t realize how much he needed to talk about her and what had happened between them. 

“You know it wasn’t just an affair for her, right?” Carrie explained with clarity.  Cole looked at Carrie with a raised brow.  “From what you told us, Cole, she has feelings for you.  A woman can’t do what she did and not.  She probably thought about you a lot after the first night and doubly so now.” 

“I have to agree with Carrie on this one, man.  I saw how she looked at you.  That wasn’t just a date for her.”  Zach placed his hand on top of Carries as he gave her a wink.  Cole watched the subtle interaction between them and realized he missed Sierra more than he was admitting to himself.  The way Zach and Carrie loved and respected each other is what he craved. 

“As I told you, I left the door open for her,” he said to them, as much as to himself.

“Leaving the door open won’t be enough.  You have to do more.”  Carrie was serious when she said it.  “She’s a romantic, Cole.  I could see it clearly.  You will need to do more than open a door or give her a line.” 

Zach piped in, “Gonna have to go all in and show her, if you seriously want her.” 

“I’m going to have to search the kingdom aren’t I?”  They both gave him a quizzical look as he smiled at his own Prince Charming reference.