The Reluctant Cowboy (14 page)

Dana had offered to come with Sierra to see Cole, but Sierra turned her down.  She had stayed at the house after Riley and Vanessa left to play with Skye and make sure Sierra was okay after their “session.”  Sierra was trying to stay positive after their talk.  She realized she had amazing friends and family, something Cole didn’t have. 

Maybe they could work out a schedule where Skye could be a part of his life.  Vanessa had given Sierra his phone number and she had sent him a text asking if they could meet at the hotel restaurant for lunch.  She had put Skye down for her nap and finished getting herself ready to see him. 

She threw on a pair of cut off jean shorts with her boots and a tank top.  The style was very different than the clothes she had worn in New York, but this was her typical attire on a warm Sunday afternoon in the midwest.  Even though her stomach felt like it was in her throat, she remembered what Riley had told her.  She checked herself in the rear view mirror, “You can do this.  Remember, Skye’s future is at stake and so is your heart.” 

She entered through the separate restaurant entrance of the nice hotel.  It was still brunch time, so the restaurant was filled to capacity with the after church crowd, socializing and eating.  This was a popular place and she was having second thoughts about meeting him here and second-guessing her attire. 

It wasn’t hard to spot him, even in the crowd.  He had his back to her, sitting at a small table, next to a window, with his coffee in his hands.  He was wearing a black fitted T-shirt with blue jeans. 

She walked up to the side of the table where he could see her, “Hey.”  With barely an acknowledgement, he motioned for her to take a seat.  She knew immediately that this was not going to be easy, but attempted conversation, “Thanks for seeing me.  I can’t imagine what you must be thinking or feeling.” 

The server brought water over and she immediately reached for it.  She told him she didn’t want anything else and Cole just nodded his agreement.   When the server left, Cole mumbled, “Scotch.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Scotch.  It does a good job of taking away feelings.” 

She studied his face and realized he hadn’t yet shaved.  He now had a shadow covering his handsome, yet hard face and was holding the coffee tightly with both hands.  He wouldn’t make eye contact with her as he continued to sip at the coffee and glance around the room. 

“Skye is doing great today,” she again tried to engage him.  That got his attention and when he looked at her, she said, “She’s remarkable.  She keeps talking about what happened and remembers you.” 

She watched as Cole put the cup down, never breaking the eye contact, then jabbed, “Good play, Sierra.”  Sierra didn’t understand his comment and she was sure her face showed it.  “Bringing up Skye first.  In the business world, we call that a well-executed play.  Or for your mid-western mind, think of your beloved football team.” 

“Okay.  Confused here.  Is there scotch in your coffee now?” 

She heard his throaty chuckle, “No, Sierra.  No scotch.  Yet.” 

Shaking her confused head she continued, “Anyway, I wanted to thank you for being there yesterday.  You handled the situation so calmly and with such authority.  It was a miracle that you were there.” 

She saw his eyes bore into her.  They appeared black, like his shirt, then charged, “Miracle?  Miracle?  I found out I have a daughter, while she’s bleeding profusely all over me and you want to label it as a miracle?” 

Sierra flinched at his tone and his demeanor.  She held her head up a little bit and stared back at him, “I want to talk with you about everything.  I need to know you will listen.”  She saw him look away and take a breath, before she continued, “I’m sorry.  Cole, I’m so very sorry.  I should have told you when I knew I was pregnant.  I should have asked Vanessa to help me reach out to you, but I didn’t.”  She continued on even though he wasn’t looking at her.  “I was scared, and stupid.  I wanted to tell you, many times, but I was afraid you would try and take her away from me.” 

He turned his full attention to her and she was afraid of the look he gave her.  “You are right,” his voice was low and ominous, “to be scared of me.  I’m a rich, powerful man, Sierra.”  He stood up glaring down at her. 

“Where are you going?” she pleaded.

“I’m going up to my room to contact one of the best lawyers in all of New York.  Then, I’m going to visit my daughter.” 

He started to walk away and Sierra was momentarily paralyzed with fear.  Her worst fears were coming true and it was all her fault.  She wasn’t going to let him get way that easy.  She stood up and briskly walked after him.  He reached the lobby and pressed the elevator button with her right behind him, begging, “We are not finished here, Cole Alexandar.” 

He ignored her as he got in the elevator with other people.  After a few stops, they were alone.  She was suddenly pinned, with his arms on either side of her at the back of the elevator.  “Déjà vu, Sierra?  You like your TV shows and movies…how’s this one for you?”  His eyes were glaring into hers.  “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” 

Sierra gasped as the elevator doors opened and Cole headed for his room.  She ran out of elevator and down the hall to keep up with his long strides.  He was ignoring her as he opened his room door, but she followed anyway, “You can’t do this.  You can’t be like this.  You are not the same man I fell….”  She stopped herself and was proud her filter kicked in. 

He turned towards her, backing her up against the hotel room door.  She heard the anger and emotion in his voice, “Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do.  You didn’t give me a choice, so why should I give you one?” 

She looked at him directly in the eyes as she replied, her voice strong and confident, “Skye.”  She watched his head fall forward and heard him taking deep breaths. “Me.” 

Her body was yearning for his touch and before she could change her mind she reached her hand up to touch his hair.  She felt his body go perfectly still, so she took the other hand and pulled at his hair until she could pull his head up to look at her.  He was trying to avoid eye contact, so Sierra instinctively pushed away from the door and into his arms.  Her mouth came in contact with the side of his full sensual lips and something drove her to continue her onslaught on him.  She felt his arms drop, limp to his sides, but she didn’t stop. 

She grabbed the side of his face and kissed him full on the mouth.  She still didn’t feel a response and with desperation and anger creeping in, she shoved at his chest with both of arms and all of her strength, “You
are
a monster!”  She was shaking with anger and desire, “If you think you can come here and take my daughter away from me, you are insane!” 

“You will not ever see her or me again…” With that threat, she started to back away from him towards the door. 

She saw his eyes come alive again as he started towards her. 

She pleaded, “Stop!  Don’t ever look at me that way again.  I wanted to talk…”

“You did and I listened,” his eyes smoldering.  “I hear your body and see the desire in your eyes.” 

She was being cornered.  “Not desire, fury.  You do not threaten me.” 

“Let’s find out.  Shall we?”  She felt his lips crash down hard on her own as he pulled her into his embrace.  Her arms being crushed between their bodies, she tried to push him away.  He continued to kiss her punishingly and when she tried to open her mouth to tell him to stop, he thrust his tongue deep inside.  She felt her body respond to his kiss, down her belly and to the tip of her toes. 

Her anger, mingled with desire for him, had her confused.  As he continued the kiss, she let the anger and desire course through her.  She squeezed her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, clutching his thick hair.  She met his kisses with her own wild abandonment.  She heard him groan and felt him shudder as he grabbed her ass and picked her up off the ground.  Instead of carrying her to the bed, he backed her up against the door where they had started. 

She could feel him reach between them and undo his button and zipper on his jeans.  He then proceeded to do the same with her own shorts and she felt them being pulled down as they slid to the floor with her underwear.  His hands were now at her breasts, kneading them as he positioned her now naked butt against the door.  She was holding on for dear life with her arms around his neck and shoulders.  She was kissing his ear, using her tongue to lick and kiss down his throat as her own passion was consuming her. 

She felt his hands at her hips as he hoisted her up farther and she wrapped her legs around his waist.  Their mouths found each other once again as she felt his grip tighten and then thrust deeply into her.  She opened her eyes to see him looking at her while he thrust again.  He moaned into her mouth as their tongues continued to mimic the motion of their bodies.  He was being as wild with her as she felt.  Her fingers dug into the tops of his shoulders as he continued to thrust wildly into her.  She felt her orgasm rocket through her as she called out his name.  He continued his explosive pace until he found his own release. 

Her legs felt like Jell-O when she placed them back on the floor.  They were both breathing heavily as she watched Cole back away from her and adjust his jeans and shirt.  She pulled her shorts up and continued to lean against the door for support. 

“Get. Out.”  His voice sounded ominous and it petrified her.  She had never seen or heard him like this.  He wouldn’t look at her as he was still catching his own breath and his head was cast down. 

She was trying to stay strong, but she felt herself losing control of her emotions.  Her back was still against the door, so she fumbled until her hand found the handle.  She pulled it open hard and fast and threw herself out the door.  She ran to the elevator as tears were starting to blur her vision.  She saw the doorway leading to the stairs and decided to use them, instead.  Luckily, the stairwell was empty as she reached for the nearest railing, grabbing it and squatting down as the sobs consumed her. 

Cole was still sitting on the edge of his hotel bed.  He didn’t know what time it was and had ignored the noises coming from his cell phone on the nightstand.  He had probably been sitting there for at least an hour after Sierra had left.  He wasn’t sure what he was feeling and what had just happened. 

He had been so angry with her.  When she had come up to the table in the restaurant he had been furious, but still couldn’t stop the physical desire that went through him every time he saw her.   He believed what she said about being afraid to tell him in the beginning.  He could register that in his thinking process.  What he was struggling the most with is that she didn’t tell him in New York. 

He thought she had started to care for him.  He recalled her frequent texts to home and the phone call in the bathroom.  The way she would divert his attention from her family during their conversations.  It all made sense to him now as he put the pieces together – some of her comments and why she didn’t want to see him after she left.  

He just continued to sit and ponder what had transpired over the last twenty-four hours.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to drive back to New York and continue his life the way he had in the past.  His original plan was to win Sierra over again and offer ways to have a relationship with her. 

Those plans went to hell the moment he saw his daughter.  He was still wrapping his head and heart around the fact that he did indeed have a daughter.  He needed to see her.  He still didn’t know what was going to happen and he had just threatened to take her away in his anger towards Sierra.  He would have discussions with his attorney once he got back to the city.  He would wait until his emotions were more under control first.  For now, he just wanted to see his little girl. 

His phone continued to ping at him, so he reached for it to check his messages.  He spent the next thirty minutes responding to them.  One of them had been from Christine, so he replied that he would fill her in when he returned.  She was worried and he appreciated her heartfelt concern. 

He heard a knock on his door and saw Rocco standing outside, “You ready to pick up your car?” 

“Yeah, let’s go.”  He left Rocco holding the door while he grabbed his keys and phone.  As they made their way outside and into Rocco’s car, Cole was quiet in thought. 

“I remember telling you to ask her to dance.”  Cole was looking out the window at the bright sun and clear blue sky.  He turned his head to nod that he heard him, so Rocco continued, “I can’t imagine what you are going through, man, but keep in mind she doesn’t know you like we do.  She’s a great mother and wonderful woman.”  Cole continued to stare out the window, so Rocco went on, “Okay, I get it, you don’t want to talk about it.  I just hope you don’t do anything rash until you get to know her and Skye.” 

Cole glanced at Rocco and nodded.  He knew he was trying to help and loved him for it. He explained to Cole, “She lives with her parents and brother.  I’ll give you directions once we get to Jen and Matt’s place to pick up your car.  If you want me to go with you, I’m here for you.  You know that.” 

Cole quietly responded, “I do, and I’m grateful.  I just want to see her.” 

When they pulled in, Jen and Matt were outside with the kids, cleaning up the yard from the party.  They immediately came over and told Cole how sorry they were for what happened with Skye.  He could tell Matt, especially, was still torn up about it, blaming himself.  Cole asked Jen to make sure she got the bags of presents to Vanessa and saw Rocco picking up pieces of glass beside his car.  He caught a glimpse of the remainder of the snow globe by his tire and went to pick it up.  He looked at it for a minute and then asked Jen to throw it in the trash.  They talked for a few more minutes and said goodbye.

Cole made his way to Sierra’s parents’ house. He still had on the same black T-shirt, jeans and boots that he had earlier.  He probably should have changed, but hadn’t done it.  He also didn’t shave, so he hoped he didn’t intimidate his daughter. 

On the way, he stopped at a gas station to fill up his car, wash his hands and splash some cool water on his face.  As he was walking through the station, he noticed a display with big-eyed stuffed animals on it.  He wanted to pick one up for Skye.  He saw a small black horse with large blue eyes.  He knew that was the one for her and made the purchase.

He arrived at the house a few minutes later.   He noticed that it was a very nice two-story colonial style home with a wraparound front porch and prominent dormer with an arched window.  The siding was a light brown color with white trim.  A large brick chimney was on one side and the windows had white transom accents.  The front yard was freshly mowed with plush green grass and a few mature trees.  The landscaping looked professional with the shrubs and mulch.  The sidewalk led from the front of the home to the driveway and he could see it extended around to the side of the home where a large three-car garage was attached.  A large front door with glass side panels accented the home as he stood to admire it. 

The home and yard were very well-maintained and offered a warm welcome.  He hoped the occupants would do the same.  With the small stuffed animal in his hand, he made his way to the front door.  He saw two white rocking chairs near the front door and a porch swing at one end.  Large pots with colorful flowers were neatly placed along the porch near each column.  

He heard the door open before he reached it.  He saw Sierra standing in the door frame, her expression guarded as she looked at him.  He saw her glance at the stuffed animal in his hand, then commented, “Skye is taking a nap right now.” 

Cole shifted and looked at her, “Okay.  How long do they usually last?” 

He watched her studying him closely, “She’s been down for an hour now.  She may get up soon.” 

“May I come in?”  He watched as she debated, continuing to block the doorway.  “Please?” 

She didn’t respond, but held the door wider so he could enter.  He took the few steps to enter and waited for her to close the door behind her.  “My parents are out back on the porch.  They want to meet you.  I didn’t tell them about earlier.  I didn’t want to upset them,” she spoke coldly. 

She was just inches away from him and Cole wanted to hug her and tell her he was sorry.  Instead, he nodded and followed her through the house.  The home was beautiful and inviting.  He instantly felt the
love
as he looked at the rooms they passed by.  The open floor plan was painted with neutral colors but was accented with vibrant colors and décor. 

As he passed by what appeared to be a living room, a large 24x24 mounted picture caught his eye.  He stopped to look at it more closely.  It was Sierra riding a beautiful horse.  He almost didn’t recognize her at first.  She was wearing show clothes and had her hair up, and had a Black Cowboy hat on. Then, he saw her eyes.  She was looking straight ahead in the picture, but he knew those eyes.  “That’s ‘She’s a Gem’.  I rode her in western pleasure at the Congress years ago,” she explained. 

“How old are you in this picture?” 

“I think I was twenty or twenty-one.  We won the class that year.  She was one of my favorite mares to show.” 

“It’s a beautiful picture.  The horse is amazing.  It looks like her nose is almost touching the ground.” 

“She was a great mare.  She was a big girl at almost sixteen hands and the dark chestnut coloring was a show-stopper.” 

Without thinking, Cole blurted out, “Like your hair.”  He paused to look at her, but she was studying the picture.  Her face showed no signs of emotion and he knew he was the cause of it.  “Before I meet your parents and see Skye, I want you to know how sorry I am about what I said earlier.”  With pain in her eyes, she watched him, as he continued.  “Look Sierra, I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I promise today to be on my best behavior.  I need time to sort all of this out, but I assure you that I am not here to upset you again.” 

He watched her glance away and then back to him, then she simply responded, “Okay.” 

He followed her out to the porch area where her parents were seated.  Her father was reading the paper and her mother was holding an electronic reading device with a cat sleeping on her lap.  Sierra began the introductions, “Mom, Dad, this is Cole.  I’m not sure if you were introduced at the party, so I’m doing it again anyway.” 

They both stood and extended their hand to him.  He was still clutching the stuffed animal in one hand as he shook their hands.  A pitcher of lemonade was sitting on a large coffee style table and Sierra poured one for herself and one for him.  He sat down in a very comfortable chair directly across from her parents and took a sip of the refreshing drink. 

Her dad had closed the paper and put it beside him, and attempting to diffuse the stress felt in the air, said, “They keep making these Sunday papers smaller and smaller.  Hard to read the damn thing now.  Call me old-fashioned, but I still like to read a newspaper and get the ink on my fingers.” 

Cole laughed and the conversation started with small talk.  Cole noticed Sierra was quiet, only speaking when asked a direct question.  Her parents were open and friendly even under the circumstances.  He was able to discuss sports and the weather with her father and her mother talked about her work and passion for animals. 

When Sierra stood up to excuse herself to refill the pitcher of lemonade and check on Skye, her mother took the opportunity to talk with him directly, “Cole,” she said, but glancing over at her husband, “we can’t begin to understand how you must be feeling, but we appreciate you coming over today.  This isn’t easy for any of us, but I’m thankful for you wanting to get to know your daughter.  She’s a lot like her mother.” Cole struggled to keep his emotions masked as she went on, “She’s smart, funny, outgoing and sweet.  We want nothing more, but to see both of them happy and loved.” 

Cole could see the plea in her eyes and feel the emotion behind her words.  He managed to swallow the lump in his throat and welcomed the interruption as a giggling Skye trotted into the room, “Nana, Papa.” 

Cole watched as the biggest smile spread over her petite round face as she made her way to her grandma’s outstretched arms.  He sat perfectly still, watching the exchange between a grandmother and her granddaughter.  He was swept back to a time when he was in his own grandmother’s arms.  Skye hadn’t seen him yet.  She seemed content being hugged by her grandma. 

He could see the wrap on her head, protecting the stitches.  Even with it on, he could see her pretty dark hair starting to curl at the nape of her neck.  He turned to see Sierra still standing in the doorway.  He could sense her uncertainty.  Skye started to get fidgety and was trying to get her grandma’s reading device. 

“Skye, we have company,” Sierra’s mother turned the little girl in her arms until she saw him.  In the daylight, her eyes were even more pronounced as they were now locked with his own, the deep blue color and the way she was looking at him.  She managed to climb out of her grandma’s arms to stand up across the table and look at him. 

Then, she saw the stuffed animal sitting beside him.  He smiled at her and held it in front of him.  Skye looked for her mother’s approval in the doorway and when she got it, she made a bee line towards him.  He was mesmerized.  She walked right up to him and held her hand out. 

Cole was tickled, “Hi, Skye.  Remember me?”

The little girl took the stuffed animal out of his hands gently and replied, “Ole. Orsey.” 

“That’s right.  Do you like the new horsey?” 

Skye kept looking up at him and then at the stuffed animal in her hands.  He heard Sierra tell Skye to thank him.  Skye shook her head “no” but was still smiling.  Cole laughed and Skye giggled. 

“You are welcome, Skye.  I hope he will keep your other horsey company.”  Skye surprised him by touching his knee and squeezing her small body between his legs.  He spread them out to accommodate her while she played with her new toy.  She turned and looked up to him and started to tell him about her boo-boo. 

Cole could listen to her “talk” all day.  At some points, he had to look to Sierra or her mother to translate, but he was enjoying the toddler talk.  She was animated and he had to concentrate when she tried to be serious with what she was saying.  Once, he had to suppress laughing out loud as she continued to have a conversation with him. 

He encouraged her and let her have the time she needed to express herself. 

Sierra’s mother and father had excused themselves to allow them some time alone.  Sierra had moved to sit on the couch that her mother had vacated and had some snacks set out for Skye.  Skye walked out from between Cole’s legs and made her way to the small paper plate that held some puffed vegetable fries and cheerios.  She had a sippy cup and took a long drink. 

He watched in awe, etching every detail of his daughter into his memory.  He was so absorbed with watching her, he wasn’t paying any attention to Sierra.  Skye brought over some of her snacks and offered one to Cole.  He tried to refuse her, but she persisted and managed to get some of the treats in his mouth.  She giggled as he made a face and he heard Sierra’s light giggle, too.  He didn’t want to break the spell, so he continued to make faces and funny noises until both mother and daughter were laughing hard. 

When Skye managed to get enough to eat and made sure he had enough, she stood in front of him again, saying, “Up.”  Cole looked over to Sierra for guidance.  “Up, up, up,” Skye was now demanding.