The Right Kind of Love (21 page)

“Congratulations, you two. This is very exciting news. I guess that means I’m going to be an uncle again.” He honestly couldn’t contain his grin. I looked over at Damien and he had a smile plastered on his face.

“Thank you, Reeve.” What else was I supposed to say? I wasn’t going to tell him the truth—that would be on Damien if he changed his mind.

“Do Mom and Dad know, bro?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, hell no. We just found out, and I think we’re going to wait to tell them so keep this on the down low. Not a word to anyone.”

“Sure, no problem. I understand how these things go.”

Damien squeezed my hand. I looked up at him and he gave me a smile. And I just stared at him with venom.

“I’ve got some patients I need to see to, so I’ll swing back through here in a bit. Again, congratulations. I’m excited for you two.”

“Thanks, man. I’m ecstatic.” Damien squeezed my hand again.

He was ecstatic. This was unreal. How could a man be so excited about parenting another man’s baby? Not to mention, he basically was taking away my choice to give the baby up for adoption.

“Damien, how could you do that to me? Keeping this baby or giving it up for adoption is my choice, not yours.” I saw red I was so pissed.

He pushed away my hair from my face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”

“Damn straight, you didn’t think.”

Damien and his eyes were glassy. It had been a day filled with a lot of emotion.

It was all so overwhelming.

I was strong, but I felt so weak and low. I knew it was supposed to be the happiest moment in my life. Could I move past thinking of Wes every time I looked at my baby? Or when I got sick, would I not think of Wes. Or when the baby kicked, would it be a constant reminder. And then there was Damien. Was he really serious about raising the baby with me? He had told his brother it was his baby. We really needed to discuss that piece further, but I was so tired and didn’t feel like talking.

I laid my hand over my belly. I had a little life growing in there. A part of me and part of the monster. I was a good person. Could I overcome it and be happy? Besides, it was all about how you raised and nurtured a child. Sure, there were genetics involved, but still. I could raise this baby right. I just needed to get past the fact that it was part
his
baby. Obviously, Wes would never know but still, it was a lingering thought. I don’t think I could ever go back home at this point. If I kept the baby, I wouldn’t want my step-father to see him or her, and I sure as hell never wanted the baby to see Wes. There were also the factors of anything going wrong with the baby’s health and not to have the biological father for medical reasons. But I seriously wasn’t going to have him involved, so if that time ever came, then I guess I would have to cross that bridge when I came to it. Wes would never know unless it was a critical moment.

I really didn’t know anything for certain. My guess was that it would tear Damien to pieces if I gave up the baby, but I needed to think of myself and what was best for me. I closed my eyes and let the sandman take me away.

Damien

A
fter we got home from the hospital, Sydney went straight to her room and went to sleep. I stayed with her for a little bit, but Zeus had wanted to go outside. I was standing with him while he did his business and my thoughts took me away.

It had been a shocking day, but one that brought about a lot of mixed emotions. Yes, it was fucked up that the night she had been raped by that motherfucker that she had gotten pregnant. And I knew she was battling those thoughts. It had to be really hard for her. But there was a part of me that was happy that I was actually going to share in this pregnancy with her, and that, hopefully, one day her baby would call me daddy. But in the end, I would accept whatever decision she chose and would support her one hundred percent. That was what was most important.

This was a huge change for me from my wild playboy ways, but I’d stopped all of that a while back when I knew that Sydney was the only woman for me. I could be the support she needed during this time in her life. I knew it would be a tough decision for her. We’d hung the picture from the ultrasound up on the fridge, and I couldn’t help but to go in there and look at it. A tiny little innocent life was growing inside of her. It was the most spectacular thing and made her even more beautiful in my eyes.

I knew I’d completely taken her off guard when I told my brother that it was my baby, but I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t going to let her go it alone and be by herself when this was such a trying time in her life. I cared for her deeply and wanted to be a part of her life any way I could. We’d become close, and I wanted her to be more than just a good friend. I wanted more. I wanted to give her the
special
I’d been talking about. And she was indeed
special
.

With Zeus in my arms, I headed back to her room so that he could snuggle with her. I knew she really needed him right now. And if I wasn’t mistaken, I think she really needed me, as well. I would give her all of me.

Every stinking last breath.

I wanted nothing more than to show her just how
special
we could be together.

Yes, we were polar opposites, but I had no doubt in my mind just how good we could be together. And I wasn’t talking sexually. Yes, I wanted nothing more than to slide into her tight little body, but I wanted to give her more. I wanted to give her a piece of my heart, because let’s face it—she owned it. Not a tiny fraction of my heart, but all of it.

I’ve never been in love before, but the feelings taking over every last breath I took had to be love. I felt it down to my bones, and it penetrated my soul.

It was fucking radiating.

As I approached her room, I heard whimpers. Fuck. Was she crying? I needed to get in there and fix this for her.

I knocked on the door and then walked in. She was sitting up with a box of tissue between her legs and a tissue in her hands. She quickly looked away from me.

“What’s wrong? You okay? Do you not feel well again?” I unloaded a bunch of questions, but I was concerned about her well-being. I hoped that she would open up to me.

She didn’t answer, and the silence that stretched between us was rough.

Real fucking rough.

She just sobbed and sobbed. Zeus squirmed out of my hands and hopped on the bed nestling closer to her.

She looked at me with sorrow in her eyes. “I think I’m going to give the baby up.”

Her words gutted me.

But I wouldn’t let my feelings cloud my undying support for her to make a decision that she could live with. Because she was the one who had to live with this. Yes, if she kept it, I would give my support, but it wasn’t my choice.

Walking over to the bed, I sat down and took her in my arms. “Shhh, it’s okay.”

She continued to sob.

I honestly didn’t know what to say. I’d never been in a situation like that before. It crushed me completely seeing her crying uncontrollably.

Fucking completely.

Gently retracting myself from her arms, I did the only thing I could think of. I walked across to my room to get my acoustic. I headed back to her room and scooted myself up to the headboard and started strumming. The words to Bridge Over Troubled Water started rolling off my tongue.

It was a favorite of mine. We hadn’t played it in a while, so it felt good to be singing it. She started crying harder.

I considered stopping, but I didn’t. I kept on going.

As I rolled into the last verse, she began to calm down. I finished and set the guitar on the ground.

“That was beautiful, Damien. Thank you so much for singing it to me.” She leaned over and gave me a hug.

“You’re welcome. I would do anything for you. And I meant every word I just sang. I would lay me down.” I squeezed her.

She squeezed me tighter.

“So let’s talk more about adoption. I hope you know I’m here to support whatever decision you make.”

She pulled away and looked at me. “I just don’t think I can look at a child every day that is part of Wes. The baby will always be a reminder of that night.” A few tears escaped her eyes.

“Sweets.” I took her chin in my hand and lifted it so she was looking me in the eyes. “You’re carrying an innocent baby that is part you. It is all about how you raise them even though he or she will have his genes. The man is clearly fucked in the head. From what I’ve seen, I’m sure he has some sort of mental disorder, which could be genetic. But you have to think on the bright side that this baby won’t be anything like him. Regardless of what you choose, you have to believe that this baby will be all right. All you have his hope and faith.”

“I don’t know. It’s a tough decision. Plus being a single mom. I just don’t want to be another statistic and not be able to give my child the life it deserves.” We were still staring in one another’s eyes.

“Did you not hear anything I said at the hospital?” Maybe that medicine did something to her memory.

“Well, yes, but I can’t ask that of you. It’s not even your child. How could you love a child that isn’t yours?”

“I want you to listen to me and listen real good.” I brushed my hand on her cheek as I stared deep into her eyes. “I’m a simple person. Guys are fucking simple, so you should take their words at face value because usually, what we are saying is real. Fucking real. So here it goes. I may sound like a pussy, but I’m going to lay it all out. You’ve come into my life like a ball of thunder. You have turned my world upside down and made me feel things I never would’ve imagined. And I’m not talking about sexually, although I wouldn’t mind that.”

She punched me in the arm. “You pig.” Then her mouth crept up ever so slightly.

“I’m not a pig. I’m human with normal desires. I embrace those desires. You’re beautiful—so fucking beautiful. What I’m trying to say here is that I would adore anything that was a part of you. I would love this baby like my own because it was a part of you. I want to be by your side every step of the way, and I want to be a father to the child you carry. It would give me great honor for that baby to call me daddy. Now, I know we aren’t even a couple, but I want that with you. I want it all. It would make my world go round and put a perpetual smile on my face. You have me—so fucking have me.”

I took a deep breath because damn, I was winded. I normally didn’t feel the need to talk so much and explain myself, but I felt like she needed to hear me.

A few tears rolled down her face.

It was now or never.

I leaned my head down and placed my lips over hers. The kiss lingered for a few moments, but I wasn’t going to deepen it. She wasn’t ready for more. We would take it slow.

I removed my mouth from hers, and she opened her eyes, and it was as if she were seeing me for the very first time.

“I want that, too, Damien. So much. You mean so much more to me than just a friend. You’ve slowly settled into my heart. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do about the baby but if I do decide to keep it, I would feel privileged to have my child call you daddy.”

She just totally made my day—hell, she made my fucking year. I couldn’t control the huge smile that spread across my face.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” I leaned into her and gave her another kiss. It was a chaste kiss, but none the less, I touched her with my lips.

Picking up my guitar off the floor, I started playing the perfect song. All I Want is You by U2. It really fit my mood, and hopefully, she would know that the lyrics that passed from my lips were meant for her.

After I finished playing, I pecked her lips with mine again. It felt so right to be kissing her.

“So I’m taking you out once you feel better.”

She started biting her bottom lip. “Oh, really? And where are you going to take me, Mr. Blue?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” I tapped my finger on her nose and then gave her another peck.

“When is this big date?” This time she tapped me on the nose, and it was cute as hell.

“How about tomorrow night?” I hoped she would feel up to it.

“I’m most likely going to have to work late to make up for some hours today. Can we make it Thursday night?” She was still chewing on that lip.

I brushed her hair away from her neck and started placing soft kisses below her hair. She tensed up for a minute, and then she relaxed. Her skin tasted so sweet. Just like I’d imagined.

Pulling away before I got carried away, I replied, “Sure, I just can’t do it this weekend, I’m playing Friday night. You’re going to come to the show and sing a few songs, right?”

“I’m not quite sure it’s a good idea for a pregnant woman to be in a bar.”

“It’s not like you’ll be drinking or smoking. It will be fine, trust me.” I gave her my best pleading look. I really wanted her there. I knew deep down she wanted to be there, too. She was just being stubborn.

“I’ll think about it.” I knew first hand that lip tasted really good, but I’d be damned if she didn’t make me want to bite on it a little myself.

“You better.”

“So if I do decide to keep this baby, and I’m not saying I am, where is the baby going to sleep in our new house?” She looked worried.

“Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.” She didn’t know it, but by the time the baby got here, she would be sleeping with me. So, yeah, I already had it figured out.

“Okay.”

“So do you feel a little better?” I hoped like hell she did. I hated seeing her cry.

“Yeah, I guess I’m still so unsure about everything. I guess only time will tell what will happen.”

I had some time to help her make the decision that I hoped she would make. And if there was one thing that I wasn’t—I was not a quitter. I hoped she would eventually make the choice to keep the baby. But it was her choice—a choice I would live with either way.