The Right Kind of Love (29 page)

“So she has a name? What’s the baby’s name?” I don’t know why I was torturing myself, but I had to know.

“Does it really matter? He’s not mine.”

“So it’s a boy. She’s giving you a boy when I’m giving you a girl that isn’t even yours.”

He brought his hand under my chin so that our eyes were level. “Our little girl is every bit mine.”

“How can you say that? She’s the product of a rape.” I didn’t want to be harsh, but I couldn’t help but remind him of the truth. Just thinking about it brought back such crippling fear from that night. I just didn’t understand how this could have happened to me. My poor innocent child came from such a violent night—one that I had lost the fight. I placed my hand over my belly and thought to myself that I didn’t mean that. How could I say this about my baby? She deserved a chance.

His face turned red, and I could tell I’d pissed him off. “Don’t you dare say anything like that to me again. This baby is ours. She’s mine in every sense of the word.”

But truly, she wasn’t. I wouldn’t press the issue. If he had a biological child, then why would he want my baby girl? “But why would you want us if you had a child that was your flesh and blood?”

“Don’t you dare talk like that to me. She’s mine. And I want her because she is a part of the woman I love.” He was seething.

I got up from the table. I couldn’t take anymore. I was shattered.

Completely shattered.

I started pacing the room. My heart was in my throat, and I just couldn’t take hearing this anymore.

I really just needed to be alone. I grabbed my plate with mostly uneaten food on it and brought it to the kitchen. I washed my plate and put it into the dishwasher. I began working on the rest of the dishes while tears streamed down my face. This was a complete and utter nightmare.

Damien came over to me and wrapped his body around mine. “We’ll get through this. I promise. In a few weeks, you’ll see the baby isn’t mine, and we can go about our lives.”

“Sure.” But I really knew there was no chance of that. His news had been the shock of a lifetime and had completely changed how I viewed things for my future.

I finished doing the dishes. “I really need to be alone right now. I’m going to head up to bed.”

He gave me a puzzled look. “Alone?”

“Um, yeah, alone. If you would sleep in your room tonight, I would appreciate it.” I had a feeling a fight was on my hands, but he surprised me.

“Fuck. I guess if that’s what you need then I’ll sleep away from you. I really don’t like this. I don’t like it at all.”

“Please, just be patient with me.” I walked away.

Later that night, I lay alone in my bed.

Just me and my unborn baby girl.

The tears never stopped. I cried for the rape, I cried for my unborn child, and I cried for the loss of Damien that I was sure would be soon to come. Once he found out the baby was his, he wouldn’t want us. My luck hadn’t been so great this year, and I just felt in my gut that this baby was his. It would be another devastating time in my life.

This changed everything

But I was strong. I would put myself back together.

Eventually.

I just needed the time to wrap my brain around all of this and to get the tears out.

Really, I didn’t understand what I’d done so wrong for all of this to be happening to me. I was a good girl, a good person, and I knew I would be a loving mother. How can so much shit happen to one person? It just wasn’t fair.

Sydney

I
t was ten o’clock in the morning, and I was still laying in my bed alone. Since hearing the news that rocked my world, Damien hadn’t slept with me upon my request.

I was distancing myself from him. I figured it was better to pull away now and start protecting my heart, than to lose the man I loved when he found out the baby was his.

He took the paternity test like he said he would. He had to wait two days to take the damn thing. Apparently, the doctor couldn’t get him an appointment any sooner. He’d been told it would only take a couple of weeks. But I just had a sick feeling that it was his even though he was constantly reassuring me that it wasn’t.

I’d called in sick to work yesterday, and I had no intentions of going to work this morning, either. I hadn’t showered, wearing the same pajamas, and I’d barely eaten. I didn’t have much of an appetite when I thought about what my future held.

A future without him.

Zeus stirred and moved up my body nestling himself up by my face. He began to give me kisses. I think he knew how low I was feeling. He barely left my side. Surprisingly, he had stopped playing with Zoey and remained very attentive to me.

It was odd I hadn’t heard from Wes since that last text. I was still scared shitless that he would find me, but I’d relaxed a little. Damien was very attentive and Zoey was very protective of me, which made me think she would be a very good guard dog.

I still had been calling my step-dad weekly, but I hadn’t told him I was pregnant. I was worried Wes would find out. My ties from home were pretty much non-existent. A new life here was what I was trying to build.

Swinging my legs out from under the sheets. I headed to the bathroom. I planned to soak in as much hot water as I could stand. Numbness was what I was searching for. I didn’t want to hurt the baby, so I would have to be careful of the temperature. I couldn’t drink so I had to do something.

After I was cleaned up and out of my pajamas, I changed into another set and got back into bed. I didn’t’ even bother going downstairs to see Damien. I had just started to doze off when I heard a tap at my door. “Come in,” I yelled.

Damien came in, and even though he was dressed for work, he was hot. My mouth watered a little knowing I hadn’t had the pleasure of kissing him in days. I was seriously head over heels for this man. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much knowing he was close to leaving.

He walked over and sat on the side of my bed and brushed my hair back with his hand. “Hey, babe, aren’t you going to work today?”

“Nah, I’m staying home.” I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes.

He panicked. “Is it the baby?” He protectively placed one hand over my belly and then lifted the other to my forehead. I guess he was checking to see if I had a fever.

“Well, yes and no. I’m just so worn out and I’ve been swelling up like a balloon, so I thought I would give my body some extra rest. I talked to Drea and she totally understood.” I hope he bought my lie. Because the truth was that I was depressed as hell. The thought of him having a baby with another woman really affected me.

“Well, I think there’s more than what you are telling me. You won’t let me sleep with you and you avoided me all day yesterday. It’s total bullshit.” His jaw began to twitch.

“Really, Damien, I don’t need the added stress of you being pissed off at me. Can’t you just let me be?” I really wished he would back the hell off. I knew I was being snappy with him. The tone in my voice clearly showed that, and honestly, I didn’t mean to be this way. I was just so lost in my head thinking the worst outcomes about the situation we were in that it had me on edge. I brought the covers up over my head signaling that I was done with the conversation.

He pulled them down. “Don’t hide your face from me. Look at me, Sydney. Give me your beautiful eyes.” I didn’t waiver this time. I gave him my eyes. “I love you so much. I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but please let me in. We can work through anything. You’re my best friend and friends share.”

My eyes began to well up. This was so hard. “I love you, too—more than you know, Damien.”

“Baby, don’t cry. Just fucking talk to me,” he pleaded but I wasn’t going to say anything more.

“I’m fine. I just need to get some rest.” I rose up on my elbows, leaned in, and gave him a kiss. “Have a great day at work, honey. I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Sounds good, don’t bother cooking. I’m gonna get some carryout on my way home.” He stretched his legs and then got up off the bed.

“Okay.” I scooted back under the covers and closed my eyes. Not before peeking to see him look over his shoulder and give me one last look.

Damien

What the hell was up with my woman? I’d never seen her act this way, even when we first moved in. She usually had a smile on her face and never seemed to mope. Yes, I knew the baby made her tired, and her feet were swollen, but now she was pushing me away. She didn’t say that, but it was obvious. Ever since I told her about Becca’s claim, my girl had been pushing me away. I missed seeing the smile on her face and holding her at night while we slept. I knew the baby made her tired, but my girl was lying to me. She wasn’t avoiding me because she was tired. She was avoiding me because of Becca. For whatever reason, she didn’t believe me. She thought I was this other kid’s dad.

It all boiled down to the visit Becca made.

Fuck.

I didn’t know what more I could possibly do to reassure her that I wasn’t going anywhere. I was always so careful. Hell, I barely remembered Becca. I know it can only take one night, but I did always wear a condom.

Pulling up to the convenience store, I got out of my car and ran in to grab an energy drink. I needed a little boost after the way things went down this morning.

I had to think of something to put a smile back on my girl’s face. I knew flower’s always made my mother smile and most chicks dug them. I brought up the local florist on my phone and called. After all was said and done, I had ordered a bouquet of red and yellow roses to be delivered to her. Red for love and yellow for friendship. I loved her and she was my best friend. I hoped like hell that it would put a smile on her glowing face.

Walking into the shop, I noticed that the front was a fucking mess. There were cans and trash everywhere. Nothing was in order or tidy like I liked it. I scanned the room for Ginger and spotted her in one of the guy’s rooms flirting her ass off.

“Ginger,” I barked.

She just kept on talking completely blowing me off. I tried again. “Ginger!” This time I used a little more force with my voice.

Taking her sweet-ass time, she left the room and came over to me. “Geez, Damien, you just interrupted a really good conversation.” She took her hair and started twirling it around her finger.

“For fuck sake, Ginger, this isn’t high school. I’m not running this business so you can flirt with the staff and not do your work.” I seethed.

“I always do my work. I don’t know what crawled up your ass and died.” She smirked and then looked over her shoulder back to where she was talking to Tony and winked.

I didn’t know what had gotten into her today, but this bullshit was completely out of character. “First of all, I’m your boss and you need to respect me instead of talking to me like you just did. Secondly, the fact that our waiting area is a complete disaster might have set me off.”

She looked around. “Oh, shit. I really didn’t pay much attention to it when I came in. I’ll get right on it.”

“Damn straight. Consider this a verbal warning. Next time, it will go in your file.”

I knew I was being a dick today, but my nerves were fried. I was so worried about the state of my relationship with Sydney that I knew this was going to be a day where I barked at everyone.

Walking back into my office, I shut the door and just decompressed. I played a few games of Angry Birds and cooled myself down.

My schedule was up front with Ginger, so I didn’t know what my day even looked like other than a few small tats for some freshmen in college. It seemed the young girls always wanted a flower or butterfly—nothing too elaborate.

A knock on my door pulled my attention from the flying birds on my screen. I needed to get to work anyway. I stood and opened the door to see Justice standing there. “Hey Justice, what’s up, bro?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing. Ginger says you are on the war path.” I moved around my desk and folded myself into my chair as he took the chair across from me.

“Yeah, the last few days have been pure hell.” I brought my hand up to my face and rubbed my chin.

“Anything you want to share?”

I trusted Justice. I usually told him everything. We were tight. He had a lot of experience with women, so maybe he would be helpful. Because this love stuff was new to me.

“Well, I sorta have a problem.” I ran my hands through my hair. This shit had me on fucking pins and needles.

“And?”

“This girl I fucked came in here with a baby the other day and claimed I was the dad. Now, I know I wrap my shit up, a condom has never broken, and the baby looks nothing like me.” I took a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“So what did you do?” he questioned.

“I told her that we would take a paternity test to find out. But I know the baby isn’t mine. Doesn’t look a thing like me. Like I said, I always wrap my shit up. I am confident a condom didn’t break.” I knew I was safe always using a condom. This chick was crazy.

“When will the test be back?”

“In two weeks.” I sat back in my chair. “The even more fucked up part is that I told Sydney, and now she’s acting all weird on me. She hasn’t even been to work in two days claiming she doesn’t feel well. But I know she’s upset.”

He leaned back. “Fuck.”

“Fuck is right. I don’t know how to fix this shit.” And I didn’t. This was way out of my league.

“Honestly, bro, I think you are going to have to just figure out how to get through these next two weeks. She’s obviously upset, and the only thing that will make her happy is the results of the test.” He had a good point. My phone beeped alerting me that I had a text. I swiped it to unlock it and looked at the screen. It was a text from Syd. “This is her right now, texting me.”

Sydney: Thank you so much for the roses, they’re beautiful.

Me: A beautiful bouquet for a beautiful woman.

Sydney: Thank you.

Me: What are you doing?

Sydney: Just reading a book.

Me: How is it?

Sydney: Smutty and funny.

Me: That’s an interesting combination. I could give you some smutty.

Sydney: Well, I’ve got to go. Thanks again.

“Damn it.” I threw my phone on my desk.

“What did she say?”

“We had a conversation going and then when I was suggestive, she said she had to go. I’m like, what the fuck. Since she’s been pregnant, she has a raging libido.” I put both of my hands on my head and my elbows on my desk. This was so frustrating.

“Well, little bro, I would love to sit around all day and help you figure out your woman problem, but I got to get to work. I was in the area and just wanted to stop by to see what was up. Obviously, you are having one hell of a week.” He got up out of his chair and opened the door. He looked at me over his shoulder. “Good luck.”

I could use all the luck I could get at this point. “Thanks. Oh, and, by the way, don’t say anything to anyone. I don’t want Ma thinking she has another grandbaby.”

“No problem.” He walked out the door and left me with my thoughts. It was really a losing battle.

I had finally finished up for the night and stopped off at Chubby’s to get us some burgers, fries, and milkshakes. I hoped it would bring back memories of the first time we went out and shared a meal.

Pulling into the garage, I noticed that her car wasn’t there. What the fuck. She was supposed to be home and not feeling well.

I headed inside to find Bee on the couch watching TV. Hopefully, she would have a solution to all of my problems.

“Where’s Sydney?” I asked.

“She said she needed to get out of the house, so she and Shaina went to a movie.” Fucking hell.