The Ripple Effect (26 page)

“She turned out fine, didn’t she, Olive?” boomed Stan.

“Not bad, not bad at all.” Olive held Joelle lightly by the upper arms and peered into her face. “Have you had a happy life, dear?” she asked. “You look as though you have. I’m so glad.”

“I have,” said Joelle. “I’ve been very happy.”

“Good.” Olive stared hard into her eyes again before saying, “I wasn’t altogether sure I’d done the right thing by telling this young devil where I’d taken you after you were born. I warned him it could cause all sorts of problems but, of course, he wouldn’t listen.”

Shay said nothing but raised his eyebrows at Joelle. She smiled as their eyes met in a secret exchange. Olive could have no idea how right she was.

“He’s always been like that,” put in Amy. “Makes up his mind and then goes ahead regardless of what anyone else says or thinks. Now sit down with Olive, Joelle, and you two have a chat while I see to the dinner.”

Stan followed Amy to the kitchen to organise drinks. Shay sat in an armchair opposite Olive and Joelle on the couch that was squashy, soft, and sagged under their combined weight. Olive shunted a cushion behind her lower back

“My back’s a mess,” she muttered.

“Have you seen anyone?”

“The new Doctor. She gave me some exercises.”

“Are you doing them?” asked Shay.

“What do you think?”

“Typical.” Shay snorted with exasperation.

“I know my back better than you do,” retorted Olive. “I haven’t got time to be doing extra exercises. I get plenty of that all day.”

“I’m glad you did tell Shay about me,” said Joelle into the silence that followed. “It was a shock, of course and my parents are still dealing with it…”

“They would’ve known about him though,” put in Olive. Her blue eyes widened in surprise and a measure of alarm.

“Yes but they didn’t tell me I was adopted.”

“Oh my goodness.” Olive glared at Shay. “So you went blundering in like the big oaf you are and upset Joelle’s parents. I warned you.”

“I know.” Shay’s voice dropped. He grimaced and sucked air in through his teeth, staring at the swirling rose pattern on the worn carpet. He looked up and his gaze found Joelle. The frown left his face and he smiled. “But I’d found her and I couldn’t just walk away without even talking to her. I didn’t want to tell her. I wanted them to but they more or less refused.”

“They were wrong!” Joelle sat up as straight as she could given the saggy seat. Her knees were nearly under her chin and she doubted either she or Olive would be able to stand up without help.

“Maybe they were but they brought you up as their own and they deserve your respect.” Olive snapped the words out like a schoolteacher. “Both of you.”

“I can’t,” said Joelle.

“You can. They’re still the same people who loved you all your life, aren’t they?” Now Olive frowned at her with such a stern face, Joelle could only nod.

“Haven’t they forgiven you when you did stupid things? Haven’t you ever made a mistake?”

Joelle thought. Many times. And each time William and Natalie were there to pick her up and dust her off. But what about Mel?

“They’re being very tough on my sister at the moment,” she said. “She’s nineteen, single and pregnant. I have to look after her because my mother won’t even help.” To her own ears, she sounded petty and complaining. A whinger.

“There are always two sides to everything,” said Olive smartly. “Sometimes you have to wear the other person’s shoes for a while.”

“My mother will only wear her own,” said Joelle bitterly. She wrinkled her nose, chewed on her lower lip. “I think Dad might want to do something. He came to see Melanie, at least.”

“There you are.” Olive patted her hand. “Maybe it will be up to you to take the first step. By liaising between your sister and your parents you can reconnect with them yourself.”

Joelle firmed her mouth and said nothing. It was all so neat and obvious from where Olive was sitting. And Shay. She was swimming hard upstream. The current of their combined rationality was strong. They made her seem petulant and childish.

“You agree, don’t you?” she asked Shay. A switch from whining to belligerence. She’d be making such a good impression on Olive.

“Only you can decide how long you want this estrangement to continue,” he said. “If you went to them and talked, I’m sure they’d be delighted.”

“Forgive them, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think I’m ready,” she muttered. “I can’t help how I feel.”

In bed in Lisa’s old room late that night Joelle called Melanie on her mobile. She picked up almost immediately.

“Hi, it’s me,” said Joelle.

“Joey, how are you? What’s it like?”

“Fine, they’re very nice people. Very welcoming.”

“Good. What’s the town like?”

“Small. Typical country town where everyone knows everyone. Shay took me to the pub this evening and I met his friends.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“There is no problem.”

“Yes, there is. I can tell by your voice. You sound subdued.”

“I’m tired, Mel,” protested Joelle. “It’s been an incredibly long and tiring day. I met Olive.”

“The nurse?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“She thinks I should go and talk to Mum and Dad. She thinks it’s up to me to forgive them. So does Shay.”

“Mmmm. What do you think?”

“I can’t Mel. I’m not ready but they don’t understand. They don’t know Mum. It’s hard to make them understand what she’s like.”

“I know,” said Mel. “She can be really tough and unyielding sometimes. Ruthless even.”

“Yes.”

“You know I’ve seen Dad, don’t you?” Mel’s voice took on a sudden uncertain tone, very unlike her usual confident self. Of course, she knew, Joelle had been there when he arrived. They’d sat in uncomfortable proximity for ten minutes waiting for Mel to return from the DVD store.

“Yes.” Joelle realised she hadn’t asked how Mel was, how they’d managed in the shop and whether the preparations were under control for the two small weddings scheduled for Saturday. Mel’s problems had faded into insignificance beside her own, but Mel’s were far more important. Mel had a child to think about, another life in her care. She was only a child herself.

“Mel, I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish. I haven’t even asked how you got on today. Are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine and you’re not selfish, Joey. No-one could ever accuse you of being that.”

“I can,” murmured Joelle. “Anyway. What about Dad?”

“A few weeks ago—when he was trying to find out where I’d gone—he went to my old place. They said someone else had been asking for me—it was Luke.”

“The father?”

“Yes. Anyway they gave Dad his number in case he found me and could pass the message on.”

“Did Dad ring him and tell him where you were?”

“No” Mel hesitated. “But he gave me Luke’s number.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Did you call?” Mel must have been sitting on this information all the time. In an obscure way, the secrecy hurt.

“No.”

“Mel, why didn’t you tell me?” insisted Joelle.

“I didn’t tell you because you had enough stuff of your own happening and I didn’t want to annoy you any more than I already was.”

“You’re not annoying me. Mel, how could you think that? You’re my sister.”

“Am I?” Her voice was so soft and low Joelle barely heard her.

“What do you mean?” Joelle’s throat tightened as though a noose looped around her neck.

“We’re not your family. At least to me you are but you have a whole other bunch of people and Shay, and it’s natural you want to be with them and find your parents but …” The unmistakable sound of a sob washed down the line. Mel never cried.

Joelle clutched the receiver. Her heart swelled. Poor Mel. All alone and frightened. How on earth had they swung around from Joelle being unselfish to Joelle wanting to move on from her family? It must be hormones talking—baby hormones.

“I’m not deserting you. I don’t want to lose my sisters, you and Bridget. Whoever we find will never replace you.”

“And Mum and Dad?”

“Nobody can replace them, Mel. I love them, you know that. It’s just hard to come to terms with what they did. Or didn’t do.”

Mel drew in a deep shuddery lungful of air. “God, I’m a mess,” she said and laughed.

“You’re pregnant.”

“I felt the baby kick this morning.” Now her voice was animated. “It was sort of fluttery—like when your tummy rumbles.”

“How exciting!”

“Joey? Should I ring Luke?

Sleep almost completely eluded Shay for the duration of the weekend. He crawled out of bed early on Monday, just after sunrise. Traffic would be rough the closer and later they got to Sydney, with everyone returning from the Easter break. They’d leave as soon as Joelle was ready.

No one else was up except Jedda, who greeted him cheerfully when he stepped out the back door. Shay stretched, dragging in gigantic lungfuls of fresh morning air to clear a head thick and muzzy from lack of sleep. The lids rasped against his eyes as he blinked in the increasing light.

“C’mon, boy.”

He ambled down the drive towards the rising sun glimpsed through the peppercorn trees over the road, all pink and glowing on the horizon. With Jedda scampering about nose to dewy ground, Shay turned left away from the highway and the town toward open space and the emptiness of the surrounding paddocks, the complete absence of chatter and family noise. His mind was full. His thoughts needed organising and filing. He had to fabricate a veneer of behaviour to enable him to survive the return journey. Not to mention the rest of his life.

A life in which he would be constantly fighting insane jealousy every time a man looked at Joelle. The way Marty did. And Wayne. And every other red blooded male in the pub on Friday. Then there was Ben, making no secret of how pretty he thought she was… he’d even been jealous when his father took her off to the see the spot where he’d found Emily all those years ago.

Shay sighed as he pounded along the gravel road.
Bloody ridiculous.
He’d be crazy before long unless he did something. But what? What on earth could he do?

The visit had by all accounts been a success. Everyone loved Joelle just as he knew they would. How could anyone not love her? He did. Deeply and more irrevocably by the day. No, by the hour.

He was in love with his sister. That fact had been rammed painfully home to him in the pub by Wayne and Marty. Their interest in her was so blatant it was embarrassing. It was all he could do not to thump Marty on the nose when he slung his arm so casually over Joelle’s shoulders. He didn’t even know her and there he was groping the girl. His girl.

Joelle hadn’t minded when Kylie made it glaringly obvious Shay was her target. Not that there was anything to be jealous about. He’d known Kylie since high school and if anything was going to happen between them it would have happened by now. She wasn’t his type but Kylie didn’t seem to grasp that basic fact and made a play every time he saw her. It was a bit of a joke now.

No. Joelle wasn’t consumed by jealousy because she wasn’t consumed by love. This was his problem alone. And it was a problem that had to be kept secret. How long would a doctor last if it were known he harboured incestuous feelings toward his sister? How long would a sweet innocent girl like Joelle want to be associated with him?

Shay reached the corner where Bill Hammond had crashed into a gumtree one night going home from Stella Kirby’s fortieth birthday bash at the pub. He stopped to stare at the gigantic old tree. No sign of the impact at all. The giant would barely have registered the crash, while Bill’s Holden station wagon was a write off and Bill was on crutches for weeks with a broken leg and two cracked ribs. He still limped twelve years later.

Jedda cocked his leg against the tree, displaying complete disrespect for its historical significance. Brilliant rays of sunlight slanted through the leaves, striking Shay in the eyes. He turned his back and gazed in the other direction. The land rose gently to the west. Bare brown paddocks with sheep standing about in drab clusters. They’d belong to the Wrights. Robbie Wright ran the property now. Number three son—Ben’s age. The Wrights senior had twelve children. Visiting them at mealtimes was like going to an army mess hall—all lined up and filing past the counter with plates held at the ready while Ma Wright dolloped out mashed potato, peas and stewed lamb.

This was where he belonged. Not in the city. Out here where he was needed. Olive had told him a position was vacant at the Medical Centre whenever he wanted it. The newest recruit, a young woman, was there under sufferance and would leap at the chance to swap positions with him. While Joelle was off with Stan, he’d called in to talk to her—Dr Cathy O’Brian.

If he produced a replacement for the Rozelle practice they’d have no complaints. Cathy would even take on his lease at the Glebe house. She’d looked at him as though all her Christmases had come at once. The chief doctor, Trevor Sawyer, was well acquainted with Shay, having been in Birrigai for ten years.

“Organise it and I’ve no complaints,” he said.

Shay whistled Jedda. He’d pushed through the fence and was lolloping towards the sheep. He swung around and headed back towards Shay, who’d begun walking home. More slowly now he’d come to a decision. Moving to Birrigai would neatly solve the Joelle problem. She knew he wanted to return so there would be no questions to which he had no proper answers.

He’d miss her like crazy. She’d be disappointed at the separation but it was the only way for him to hold on to his sanity. Those phone calls at all hours were too much like lovers’ calls he realised now. It hadn’t dawned on him at the time he was so caught up in the excitement of finding her but now he knew the excitement was predominantly the thrill of exploring a new love. He’d been suppressing the true nature of his feelings. It had to stop and he was the one who must apply brakes.

Nothing like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Some choice he had—go crazy with jealousy and longing or take his breaking, aching heart elsewhere and hope that time would smooth away the rough edges.