The Runaway Countess (10 page)

Hayden pounded his fists hard against the stairs as he envisioned the raw pain in Jane’s eyes when he mentioned the babies. He hadn’t been there for her then; she didn’t want him here now.

He had to find a way to change again.

‘How did the dinner go?’ he heard Emma ask, breaking into his brooding thoughts.

He looked up to see her leaning over the banister from the landing, staring down at him. Her blonde hair tangled over her shoulders and she held a squirming Murray under her arm. For once even the puppy was quiet.

He shook his head and Emma groaned. ‘That bad, was it?’ she said as she hurried down the stairs to sit down beside him.

‘It wasn’t bad at all at first,’ Hayden answered. Emma had been such an enthusiastic help in setting up the surprise for Jane, he hated to disappoint her, too. ‘We talked and laughed, just like when we were on our honeymoon. We danced…’

‘You got Jane to dance?’ Emma exclaimed.

‘Yes. We used to love dancing together.’

Emma shook her head. ‘She won’t dance at all now. Even at the assembly, when that stick-in-the-mud David Marton asked her.’

Marton again. It seemed the man could do, be, whatever Hayden couldn’t for Jane. ‘Marton asked her to dance?’

‘Yes, but she made me do it instead. It was quite dull.’ Emma thoughtfully stroked Murray’s black-and-white fur where he lay on her lap. ‘So what went wrong?’

‘I fear I have hurt your sister too much for one dance to make much difference,’ he admitted.

‘Then you must keep on trying! And on and on, until she sees how much she misses you.’

Against his will, he felt a touch of something strangely like hope. ‘She missed me?’

‘I’m sure she does. She seldom talks about you or your life in London and she always tries so hard to be cheerful for me. But I see how sad she looks sometimes, when she thinks no one is around. Whatever happened, I’m sure it can’t be so bad that it can’t be fixed. You must keep trying.’

Hayden had to laugh at Emma’s stubborn
certainty. Perhaps there
was
hope, if Jane truly missed him. If he could change, and show her that he had changed, maybe they could make a new sort of life.

For the first time he saw the faint, faraway light of something he never thought to have—hope.

‘You know, Emma,’ he said, ‘I always wanted a sister.’

Emma laughed. ‘And I always wanted a brother. You could possibly do well. But don’t make me sorry I decided to help you.’

‘A
re you quite sure you feel like doing this?’ Jane asked Hayden anxiously as they walked out of Barton’s gates on to the lane. The drying ruts of mud sucked at her sturdy boots, but couldn’t hold her down. ‘Your leg…’

‘It’s much better,’ he insisted with a laugh. ‘You don’t need to fuss any more, Jane. I know I’m capable of walking into the village without collapsing.’

Jane had to laugh, too. She
was
fussing, even though it was quite clear Hayden could take care of himself. For the last two days, since their dinner alone and the kiss that sent her life spinning, he had worked in the garden, cleaning flowerbeds with her between
the rains. He dug through the piles of old books in the library with Emma. He played cards with her in the evenings, much to her giggling delight. He took Murray for walks.

And he drank only small amounts of wine and walked her to her chamber door every night, leaving her with a kiss on the cheek. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed by that sweet salute. Kissing, and all the delicious things that went along with it, were always the things the two of them got exactly right.

But she did know she was utterly mystified by this new Hayden. He was so attentive, so interested in what went on at Barton. He fit into their quiet life, as if he had merely been the last piece of the puzzle that needed to be slid into place.

Back in London, where every minute had been so full of wild, dizzying activity, she would never have pictured Hayden in his shirtsleeves digging about in the garden with her—and laughing about it. She always felt slightly on edge, waiting for his game to be over and the Hayden she’d come to see as a wild stranger emerge again. She waited for
the moment he grew tired of them and left, never to be seen again.

Yet he was still there. And he showed no signs of leaving Barton.

Jane was afraid she was becoming all too accustomed to having him there, to working alongside him as they talked quietly of inconsequential things, and of watching him laugh with Emma. She’d only just begun to pick up the shards of her scattered life. She’d have to cry all over again when he did leave.

But today didn’t look like it would be that day. The sky was overcast, but the rains hadn’t started again. Emma wanted to walk into the village to see if there was anything new at the bookshop and Hayden immediately agreed to walk with them. It would be the first time in days that they had left their cosy nest at Barton and went out among other people. The village was not London, of course, but Jane still didn’t know what would happen.

Emma dashed ahead of them with Murray, her bonnet dangling by its ribbons down her back. Hayden walked next to Jane, close
but not touching, and they went in silence for several long minutes.

‘Do you often walk into the village?’ he asked.

‘Not very often,’ Jane answered, glad of something neutral, easy to speak of. ‘We’re so busy at Barton. But this is an easy walk on a fine day and Emma likes to visit the bookshop. We’ve been once or twice to the assembly rooms, too. There are a surprising number of fine musicians who live nearby and play for the dancing. It’s not a grand London ball, but most enjoyable.’

‘And does Emma enjoy the dancing as much as she does the bookshop?’

‘Not nearly as much, I fear,’ Jane said with a laugh. ‘But I try to find her what society I can.’

‘Perhaps there are no worthy dance partners for her.’

‘Perhaps not. But then I am not sure what she would consider “worthy”. She spurns whatever young man offers her attention.’

‘And do you also dance at the assemblies, Jane?’

There was a strangely intent note in
Hayden’s voice, as if suddenly they weren’t merely chatting. Her steps slowed as they came to the small clearing where the road split off in two branches. One led into the village, the other to an old farmhouse that was half-burned and falling in on itself. A river ran along the roadside there, out of sight down a sloping bank.

Usually the waters were placid, a fine spot for a picnic on a nice day, but now it was swollen from the rains and she could hear the rush and tumble of it over the rocks. Emma had vanished down by its waves and Jane could hear her calling after Murray.

‘Of course I don’t dance,’ she said. ‘I am an old married lady. My job is to chaperon Emma.’

‘Yet surely you have friends you talk to at parties? You said you did.’

What was he really asking? Jane turned to study him, but his face was shadowed under his hat. ‘A few. But not as many as you have in London.’

He gave a harsh laugh. ‘I don’t have friends in London, Jane, as you rightfully pointed out. I have people I know.’

‘What of Lord John Eastwood? Is he not your friend?’ John Eastwood had been the best man at their wedding, a friend of Hayden’s from schooldays, and he was the only crony of Hayden’s she’d really liked. He actually talked to her. And he seemed so sad after the sudden death of Lady Eastwood. Jane had hoped John could help Hayden after their own marriage crumbled.

‘John has been in the country lately,’ Hayden said shortly.

‘Then What of—?’ Jane clamped her mouth tightly shut on the words. She’d almost blurted out ‘What of Lady Marlbury?’ But she didn’t really want to know if he saw Lady Marlbury.

‘What about what?’ he asked.

‘Nothing,’ she said quickly. She called for Emma and hurried on towards the village, away from the river and the burned-out farmhouse. Away from the past and her own emotions of what had happened there.

The village was a small one, just a few cobbled lanes and a green centred around a stone thirteenth-century church and the long,
low building housing the assembly rooms. Even though Jane didn’t make the walk in very often, everyone there knew her. And they all seemed to be out that afternoon, hurrying in and out of the shops, strolling on the shady green, shaking rugs out of windows.

Everyone called out greetings to Jane, looking curiously at Hayden until she stopped to introduce him. Then their surprise turned to smiles. Jane knew they’d all wondered about her as the months went on and she stayed alone at Barton, Lord Ramsay nowhere in evidence. No one had ever been rude enough to ask outright where he was, though Louisa Marton had hinted once or twice. But now they were all so clearly happy to see them together.

Jane was half-afraid Hayden would be bored in the village. The tension of their short conversation by the river still lingered between them, taut as a rope binding them, but holding them apart.

But he went with her into the shops, carrying her purchases and conversing affably with everyone who stopped them. He was friendly, joking, chatting about farming matters
and local gossip quite as if he was deeply interested in them. Jane was astonished; this was not the Hayden she’d come to know in London. This was the Hayden who had been with her all too briefly at Ramsay House on their honeymoon, the one who had slipped away from her.

‘I didn’t know you had read about sheep cultivation in the country,’ she said as they stepped out of the draper’s and turned towards the bookshop to fetch Emma.

Hayden laughed. ‘I have all sorts of hidden interests, Jane. But you mustn’t tell anyone. Wouldn’t want to ruin my reputation as a care-for-nothing, would we?’

She had so many questions flying around in her mind. Why would Hayden hide his true intelligence, especially from her? She opened her mouth to ask him more, but suddenly a woman called, ‘Lady Ramsay! Lady Ramsay, how lovely to see you again.’

Jane turned to see Louisa Marton rushing towards them across the street, the plumes on her bonnet waving. David Marton walked behind her, more cautious.

‘How do you do, Miss Marton? Sir David?’
Jane said. She remembered Hayden’s irrational jealousy when he had arrived at Barton and found the Martons there. How he had asked her so closely about Sir David and her ‘friendships’ in the village. She glanced up at him from under the brim of her straw hat, but his face was blandly polite. Only the slight narrowing of his eyes as he looked at Sir David showed he was thinking anything at all. ‘You remember Lord Ramsay?’

‘Oh, of course we do,’ Louisa said with a giggle. ‘Don’t we, David? It’s no wonder we haven’t seen you in a few days. You two must be very busy.’

‘There is certainly much to be done at Barton, Miss Marton,’ Hayden said. ‘I’m very grateful my wife has had such good friends to help her while I’ve been away on business. I wouldn’t want her to be lonely.’

‘Anyone would be honoured to stand in as a friend to Lady Ramsay,’ David said quietly. ‘Especially when she is most in need of one.’

The two men stared at each other in a long, tense moment as Louisa giggled and Jane tried to think of something—anything—to say. Finally the strange atmosphere was broken
when Emma came hurrying out of the bookshop and they turned towards home after making their farewells to the Martons.

‘We shall see you soon, I hope, Lady Ramsay!’ Louisa called after them. ‘I will have a small musical evening soon, which I do hope you will attend…’

‘What did the Martons want?’ Emma asked as they walked back past the burned-out farmhouse. ‘Sir David looked positively animated there for an instant, which is more than I can usually say for him.’

‘Don’t be rude, Emma,’ Jane chided. ‘The Martons have been very kind to us.’

Emma shrugged and went on to chatter about the new books she had found all the way to the gates of Barton Park, so that Jane and Hayden could say nothing to each other. Jane thought that was just as well, since she wasn’t sure what she would want to say, anyway. Once they were on the pathway to the house again, Emma ran up the drive ahead of them and they were alone for a moment.

‘So the Martons are proud to be your good friends?’ Hayden asked quietly.

‘I told you,’ Jane said, exasperated by his
strange attitude. ‘They are near neighbours and Sir David is widely read and has many interesting opinions, even if Emma does think him dull. So, yes, they are friends. Did you think I would just sit here alone while you ran about London? That I would make no life for myself and my sister?’

‘You never had to be alone, Jane. We could have shared the life in London. You could have had friends there.’

She shook her head, suddenly so tired. This was something they had quarrelled about before and there was no solution. No moving back or forwards.

Suddenly Emma gave a shout, and Jane saw her dashing back up the drive towards them. ‘Jane, come quickly! It’s the most amazing thing.’

Bewildered, Jane hurried after her sister until they turned the corner in sight of the house.

It really was the most amazing thing. There was
work
being done on Barton. There were several men climbing about on the roof, busily fixing the patches that had been worn away in all the rain. Others were examining
the cracked windows and hauling barrows of debris from the garden.

‘What is this?’ she cried. She spun around to face Hayden as he limped closer to her. ‘Did you do this?’

He gave a sheepish smile. ‘Surprise, Jane. I thought you might be tired of moving those buckets around every time it rains.’

‘Hayden,’ she said slowly. She could hardly credit what she was seeing right before her—and that Hayden had thought of this all on his own. ‘I—shouldn’t let you do this. It’s too much.’

‘Of course you should. You’ve let me into your house; you won’t take money from me. I want to do something for you and for Barton Park. Patching the roof is the least I can do now.’

He wanted to do something for Barton? Jane was amazed and touched. Against her will, she felt herself softening towards him just the tiniest bit. She’d seen a side to him today she hadn’t in a very long time, and it made her feel reluctantly—hopeful. Maybe Barton did have the power to change people.

‘Well,’ she said, ‘if you insist on patching the leaky roof, who am I to deny you?’

Hayden laughed and took her arm to walk with her towards the house. ‘Now you are coming around to my point of view, Jane. I knew you would eventually…’