The Santini Collection 1-4 (32 page)

She had been trying her best to inch out of the President’s monthly get together for the last hour. Every time she made it close to the door, she seemed to get caught by someone. Gianni was supposed to be picking her up soon and she wanted to be back in the office before he made it to campus.

Right before she made her escape, she was caught.

“
Hey, Kianna, why are you here so late?”

She glanced up at her colleague, Dr. Brenda Hollison. The daughter of two other tenured professors on campus, it was pretty much a given that Brenda would make it. She was definitely the epitome of what a tenured business professor looked like. Sleek business suit, short business-like hair, and stilettos. Why did women who were already tall seemed to feel the need to wear those shoes from hell?

She smiled. “Not sure what you mean by that, Brenda.”

They had both started at the university at the same time, but for some reason, Brenda thought she should be called by “Dr.”. So, Kianna deliberately called her Brenda. Sure she was a bit younger than Kianna, but there was no reason to be such a bitch.

“
I just thought you would be out with that boy toy of yours.”

She said it loud enough that a few people turned their heads.

“
Excuse me?”

“
That young man you’ve been seeing.”

“
I haven’t been seeing a young man. I’ve been dating a PJ.”

“
Oh.” She took a sip of her martini and smiled. “I just wondered why you didn’t invite him here. It seems that you don’t want any of us to know about him.”

She hadn’t been hiding him really. Sort of—but not because of his age. Their relationship was so new and so special, she didn’t want anyone but family knowing. She just wanted to keep him all to herself as long as she could. When Brenda glanced over Kianna’s shoulder, her smile turned evil. Kianna turned to find Gianni waiting for her.

“
Hey, Gianni,” she said walking over to him.

“
Hey.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and she tried not to get embarrassed. She wasn’t a woman who liked huge displays of affection, especially in her work place.

“
Are you going to introduce me?” Brenda asked.

“
Of course. Gianni, this is Brenda Hollison. Brenda, this is Gianni Santini.”

She held out her hand and Gianni shook it, then dropped it like she was poison. She wanted to smile, but didn’t. Most men were enamored with a reed thin bleach blonde with perfect teeth and surgery perfect breasts. Gianni was different.

“
Let’s go, Gianni, I need to pick up some things at my office.”

He nodded and followed her out. While she shut down her computer and locked up her office, she felt as if there was something wrong. Gianni said nothing, but there was a vibe she didn’t like coming off of him. By the time they got to her place she was ready to scream.

“
What?”

He looked at her and blinked. “What do you mean what?”

“
What has you irritated?”

“
Nothing.”

God save her from stubborn men.

“
Nothing?”

He just looked at her. This was not the laughing man she was in love with.

Her brain stopped working and her world tilted a bit.

Oh shit.

No. No. No. She was
not
in love with the man. No way. He was younger. This was an affair. And right now, she wanted to smack him upside the head. She could take him being mad but she couldn’t take him shutting her out. It was something her mother had done as punishment to all of them. And she hated it.

“
If you aren’t going to talk to me, then why not leave?”

“
I just want to know what functions I am allowed to attend.”

What the hell was he talking about? Maybe she had been dropped down the rabbit hole, or maybe it was just because she just realized she was in love with the stupid man.

“
Excuse me?”

He crossed his arms. The eyes that normally danced with humor now focused on her with an intensity that made her want to hide.

“
It was clear you were uncomfortable with me being there tonight.”

She could only stare at him in wonder. The man actually thought she was embarrassed of him. It was the opposite. Sure, she had kept him a bit of a secret, but it was mostly because she didn’t want to share.

But before she could respond, he answered for her.

“
Of course you were. You are ashamed of your younger…white…lover.”

“
What the hell are you talking about? It has nothing to do with race. My husband was white.” Now she was getting irritated. She never in her life had ever been accused of being racist. She had been sure that Gianni would never assume that. From the look on his face, Kianna was wrong. “I like you so I didn’t want to subject you to that scene. It is one of my least favorite things about my job.”

“
Ah, another thing you didn’t tell me. You were
married
.”

It took her a second to realize that he had skipped over her explanation. “I told you I was married. Didn’t I?” Then it hit her. She never did. It was so long ago and she had lived through it and survived.

“
No. You didn’t. Is there a reason why you wouldn’t share that part of your life?”

“
I…seriously, Gianni, I thought I did tell you.” He didn’t look convinced. There was something akin to hurt in his eyes and she didn’t know what she had done. It was as if there was a fire and she kept throwing oil on it. “He was a cop and was killed in the line of duty. I was only nineteen at the time. It seems like…I hate to say it…but a lifetime ago. I was a different person. And seriously I thought I told you.”

Then it hit her that he hadn’t been surprised. Just accusatory. She settled her hands on her hips.

“
You knew.”

“
Zoe told me.”

She wanted to kill her little sister, but she could wait. Right now, the man she loved was looking at her like she was some kind of freak. And then, another revelation hit her upside the head.

“
You knew and you never said anything. What were you waiting for?”

“
I was waiting for you to tell me.”

“
Yeah, right. You weren’t waiting for that. You were going to lord it over me in a fight just like you did now. My husband used to do that and I hated it. It was one of the reasons we were headed for divorce when he was shot.”

That stopped him. “Wait, what?”

“
We were headed for divorce but my baby sister didn’t know that. Didn’t know that the job had changed him. He wasn’t the man I loved anymore and I had put my foot down. He couldn’t have cared less. But, wait, you never asked me. If you had, I would have told you.”

“
Now, wait, this isn’t my fault.”

“
It isn’t? Of course it isn’t. It is never the man’s fault, is it? Women are the secretive ones, the ones who don’t tell you anything but then expect you to know things.”

“
Yeah, I would say so.”

“
Bullshit.”

His eyes widened.

“
Yeah, I am calling you on it. You have never discussed anything else with me. Not what is going to happen and you sure didn’t ask me about Charley. You just waited until you could use it against me.”

She didn’t realize she had been backing him up until he hit the door.

“
You know what. Go away. Go away and figure out if you can be a man in this relationship.”

She knew she had hit a nerve when his face flushed. “What did you say?”

Okay, maybe she had pushed him a little too far. Gianni would never hurt her, but he was pissed.

He stepped up to her and grabbed her. Without a word he slammed his mouth down on hers for five long seconds. She felt his anger, his passion and something she couldn’t quite figure out as he devastated her with the kiss. When he pulled back, he let her go and she stumbled back, almost falling down. Gianni would have normally helped her, or she thought he would have. This time, he didn’t.

“
Just so you know who is the man in this relationship.”

Before she could respond, he was out the door. She stumbled over to the sofa, her body hot from the kiss and still vibrating with anger from the fight. Dammit, the man had her head all messed up. She closed her eyes and realized she was crying. Damn, she hadn’t cried over a man since Charley.

What had gone wrong? One minute she was thinking about how happy she was, the next they were yelling at each other. Had she been holding back? Maybe. She just realized she loved the man. He had only been back a couple of months, but they had spent two months emailing several times a day. And all through that she never mentioned her marriage.

“
Because I felt like a failure.”

She whispered it as if it was a sin. And in her eyes, it was. She had never told a soul about the divorce. She was ashamed because her husband died in the line of duty, and when she had asked him to get help, he refused. The job had made him angry, mean and scary. It wasn’t the laughing man who had teased her and tempted her into bed. He had been her first…and she had felt like a failure when he had chosen the job over her.

She wiped her eyes and went in search of her phone. She needed to get out of town, take a break. One person in the world would let her be herself, to just be.

She dialed the number. “Etta, I think I need to see you this weekend.”

Chapter Nine

My mother always says that it’s always the man’s fault. My father always agrees, especially if he’s within hitting distance. –Gianni

Gianni was trying to keep his temper in check, but it was hard. Kianna hadn’t done a damn thing to dispel the idea that they were just having an affair. True, they had never talked about it. And she didn’t really say it tonight.

He almost growled when his phone rang with Leo’s ringtone.

“
Hey, Gee, guess who is going to be in Valdosta tonight?” Leo asked.

“
What do you mean?” He asked, still annoyed over his fight with Kianna. It wasn’t even a fight. She just made assumptions and kicked him out of her house. Like he was one of her sisters.

“
Your favorite brother.”

“
Marco made it from Hawaii?”

“
Smart ass. We were just in Pensacola seeing Jesse and I suggested coming up there to see you.”

Checking on him. Dammit. He expected this. It’d been a few months, but Leo had been the worst of them checking on him. Vince had classes and Marco was in Hawaii. Leo apparently was the only one of them with time off. And he didn’t mind. It was just the wrong day for that to happen.

“
You know how to get here?”

“
About ten minutes away.”

He hung up and tried to calm his anger. He knew he was wrong. Knew that part of it was his fault. She had been embarrassed by him and it had stuck in his craw. How many damned times did he get asked by women if he was an officer? Too many to count. He didn’t realize until now how much that irritated him.

Gee was lucky that his family didn’t care. Joey Santini always said she wanted her men happy and healthy. Everyone had accepted he would go into the Air Force to be a PJ. He would work on his degree now, but he wanted to be enlisted. But at bases with women looking for a date, there were some that just wanted nothing to do with enlisted guys. Tonight, when she had tried to rush him out of the room, he had felt used. For the first time since knowing her, he had been pissed with her actions.

And that had hurt. He struck out to hurt her the way she hurt him. He knew she wasn’t racist and it had nothing to do with that. He felt like an ass for doing it, but saying she was embarrassed because she thought she was too smart for him hurt too much. Considering what the ring he had in his pocket set him back…and he had been ready to propose tonight. Okay, that might have been rushing it, but he had made the decision.