The Scarlet Thread (40 page)

“You were supposed to ask your mother’s permission,” Dennis

said, snatching Clanton’s hat off. “Remember?”

“Mother may I?” Clanton grinned.

She laughed. “Yes, you
may.”

Carolyn slid off the kitchen stool. “Daddy wants to talk to

you,” she said, holding the telephone receiver out to Clanton.

Clanton’s expression changed immediately. He stared at the

telephone as though it were a cockroach he wanted to squash.

“Tell him I’m taking a shower!” he said loud enough for Alex to

hear and stalked down the hall. He went into the bathroom and

slammed the door. Sierra heard the click as he locked it.

Dennis gave her a grim look as Carolyn relayed the message.

“I can see we have some work to do,” he said softly. He tossed

Clanton’s hat onto a stool.

“A lot of work.”

“I’d better get home before Noreen sends out a search party.”

Sierra walked with him to the door and thanked him for including Clanton in the adults’ baseball practice.

“He’s a great kid, Sierra,” Dennis said.

“He’s an angry kid.”

“He’s got reason. A lot of times it’s not in our power to forgive

someone who has hurt us. We have to ask God’s help.”

Words for her to think about as well, she thought as she closed

the door.

She tried to talk to Clanton when he got into his bed. “Would

you please talk to your father the next time he calls?”

“Why should I?”

“Because it’d make things easier on me,” she said, hoping that

would make some difference. “He thinks I’ve turned you against

him.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Clanton said, eyes blazing with the same

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face-to-face before walking out. “I’ll tell him he’s full of—”

She put her hand lightly over his lips to stop the flow of angry

words. Clanton clearly had some of her faults as well as Alex’s.

“Please,” she whispered. “I’m not without fault in all this,

Clanton. Try to understand.” She bit her lip, trying to find

words to explain. If she cried, that would only make matters

worse. She stroked his cheek tenderly. “Your father loves you

very much.”

His mouth worked. “If he loved me, he wouldn’t have left,”

he said and turned over on his side so she couldn’t see his face.

She didn’t have to. Her heart felt like a hot ball of pain inside

her.

“His leaving had nothing to do with you, honey. I was angry

for so long about having to move, and I took it out on Daddy. He

got tired of it.”

Clanton turned his head slightly and looked at her. “Do you

still love him?”

Tears did come then, but she smiled, combing his hair back

from his forehead. Dark hair just like Alex’s. “He’s your father,

honey. How could I not?” She took his hand. “What he’s done

isn’t right, Clanton, but I wasn’t right either. Looking back, I can

see so many things I did wrong.”

“You never did anything wrong.”

“Yes, I did. I wanted things to be
my
way.” She stroked his

cheek, aching for the pain she saw in his eyes. Hate and love

were so closely linked. “If you can’t forgive him for your sake,

honey, will you forgive him for mine?”

Clanton rolled over again. He had always been stubborn. Just

like her. Just like Alex.

Heart aching, she stood and straightened the covers over his

shoulders. “I love you, Clanton.” Leaning down, she kissed his

temple. “So does your father.”

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We are at the top of the Rocky Mountains!

We did not even know it until we saw the water

was running west. The climb was so slow and

gradual and then this great expanse before you so

you know you are on top of a great range. It is

cool and dry and windy right now. But it was

a long hard day of travel.

Kavanaugh and Joshua shot three antelope.

They are good eating. I am so proud of him!

We crossed the Big Sandy and laid by to rest our

oxen. I did wash. Artemesia joined me at the

riverbank. She was a robust woman when we

started and is now so thin a breeze could blow her

over. She says she feels much better. She does not

look it.

The last week has been hard going through

dark hills and deep ravines and narrow passes.

We have crossed creeks and fixed broken wagons. One of the oxen died last night and the

wolves kept up a constant howling. I did not

sleep much. Tonight is not much better with the

mosquitoes buzzing and Henry and Matthew

fighting with each other. I have to sit a while

and write something or I will crack their heads

together.

Beth was feeling poorly again today. The fever

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I am wearing new moccasins and pleased with the

feel of them. My shoes were worn through and

Henry is wearing my boots. Kavanaugh traded

with a Cheyenne squaw and gave them to James

to give to me. James offered him a dollar for them

but he would not take it. He said it was payment

for the suppers he has shared with us.

James has sent the boys to bed. The quiet is

nice with the crickets chirping and the sky so

starry. James is on first watch tonight.

Cal Chaffey is playing his mouth organ again.

It is a mournful tune tonight. The wolves like it.

They are joining in.

Paralee Sinnott has torn the sheets.

She was feeling poorly this morning, but

Franklin made her drive the wagon just the

same. She pulled out of line twice. By the end

of the day she was at the back eating dust.

We had made camp by the time she drove in.

When she came in Franklin asked her where

his son was and she said she shot him back

in the road and left him for dead. Franklin

Sinnott rode off fast as he could to go looking

for him. As soon as he was out of sight,

Paralee got down off her wagon calm as you

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please and set fire to his wagon full of goods

to sell. It took flame so fast all we could do

was pull the two wagons nearest out of the

circle so they would not catch fire as well.

Paralee just stood there with her arms crossed

watching everything go up in smoke.

Franklin came back quick when he saw the

smoke. When he saw what she had done, he

come down off his horse like a wild man and hit

her twice before MacLeod laid him out good and

proper. Franklin lay there crying over his broken nose and dead son and calling her a crazy

woman.

And right then young Frank rode in with a

string of trout hanging off his saddle. He said

Paralee sent him fishing.

We are laid by at Soda Springs and will stay

over Sunday. Everyone has drunk from the

springs. Some like it fine as it is. I did not like it

much until I added sugar. Then it was tolerable

good.

We are all in sore need of rest. It was hard pulling through mountains and crossing creeks. We

have plenty of grass and wood here. Kavanaugh

took Joshua hunting. James is annoyed. He

needed Joshua to help him make repairs on the

wagon but Joshua was off before we knew he

was going. Joshua would rather ride point and

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repair it. So Hank and Matthew are helping.

It is pretty here. I would be content to stop and

sink in roots. James said I will like California

better.

I am filled with sadness. When we pull out day

after tomorrow, we will be taking the road to California. Most will be heading on to Oregon. I am

thankful Wells and Nellie are going with us.

Nellie is the closest thing I have to a sister and

reminds me of Aunt Martha.

Oren McKenzie and Celia Banks have teamed

up. Celia put the idea in Oren’s head and he was

agreeable. She has milk enough for baby David

and her own little Hortense and she needs a man

to help her work the land she is going to claim in

Oregon. They will not marry until they have their

allotments. Once they claim their 160 acres, they

will tie the knot and have 320 acres together. She

is a smart girl.

Winifred Holtz is grieving something awful.

She loves little David as though he were her own.

Celia wept with her and said she will not take him

from her until all is settled in Oregon.

MacLeod led the wagons north toward the Snake

River this morning. We and the Doanes, Stern

Janssen, Ernst Holtz, and Binger Siddons pulled

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out at the same time heading south. Nellie has

cried the whole day. She is crying still as I sit and

write in my journal. Wells keeps telling her the

going will be easier to California but I can tell

by Kavanaugh it will not. Robert and LeRoy

are glad to not be separated from Henry and

Matthew. Beth is mourning over not seeing baby

Hortense again. I almost told her I would be having a baby in the spring but I thought it better

not to. I am feeling poorly and may lose it. And

I should tell James before anybody else.

Kavanaugh is going with us to California. I am

glad of his company. He said he has not been over

this land before but has heard much about it. He

said the next eight hundred miles will be harder

than anything we have traveled over before.

James says that means fewer people will come.

We crossed Raft River and have come as far as

a City of Rocks. We will rest here a day before

going on. Beth and I have made a game of seeing

things in the rock formations. Some are hundreds

of feet high. We have made out the shapes of turtles and rabbits. Henry pointed out a group of

rocks that look like an eagle.

Joshua said he has no interest in childish games

and rode off. Now I see he has climbed up on one

section and is painting his name in axle grease

high up for all to see.

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Rocks. Kavanaugh said Humboldt Wells is still

a day away.

I wish we had gone on to Oregon.

We are nooning three hours during the hottest time

of day and then traveling on until the sunset. The

dust has been bad. We fan out, but the winds keep

us from escaping it. Nellie is sick from the alkali

dust. I am so sunburned I look like an Indian.

The children keep asking how long it will take

to get to California. James lost his temper and

said we will get there when we get there and if

they ask again he will take his belt to them. He

has no patience with this Heat and the Hard

Labor. The roads are heavy.

I think he is wishing we had gone on to Oregon.

We came over mountainous roads today and

reached Thousand Spring Valley. We are camped

by good water. Joshua has taken the horses to

good grass. Henry has gone with him to cut and

bundle grass to take with us. I am too tired to

write more.

We are laid by at Humboldt Wells. We will stay

an extra day here. The animals need rest. So do

we all. Grass and water are plentiful. It is pretty

and there is shade.

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