The Secret Diary of a Princess a novel of Marie Antoinette (18 page)

'No, indeed,' the Abbé agreed in bland tones.

'I hope that the Archduchess leaves her Viennese manners behind if she comes to France,' Durfort continued. 'I shudder to imagine such indecorous capering in the marble halls of Versailles and frankly, Abbé, the prospect of their revolting
knoedels
,
strudels
and
bratwurst
being served at dinner there makes my stomach recoil. Can you imagine such an outrage? How can you
bear
it, my dear Abbé?'

I heard the Abbé give a cough. 'On the contrary, Monsieur, I believe that the Archduchess' informal manner will provide a breath of fresh air to those hallowed marble halls. Do not you? Versailles is so stuffy, so obsessed with etiquette and precedence that I find myself quite impatient to see what Her Highness makes of it and what changes she will make.'

'Changes? Perish the thought! I dread the day that that...' I heard no more, however, for Ferdinand seized my hands and danced me away.
 

How I dislike Durfort. What a mean, poor spirited little excuse for a man he is. I hope that not all the French are like him.

Saturday, 31
st
December, New Year's Eve.

It is the last night of the year. How strange this year has been, not just because my dearest and most beloved sister Carolina went away but also because of the changes it has wrought in myself, thanks in part to my dear Abbé Vermond. I started the year 1768 as a little girl but now I feel like I am almost at the very brink of womanhood.

I am going now to the state ball in my brother Joseph's rooms, where we are all going to dance and make merry and wait together for the palace clocks to strike midnight.

Happy new year, Carolina, wherever you are.
 

Chapter Five

1769

Sunday, 1
st
January 1769, late.

We had such fun last night. Joseph's footmen served champagne, schnapps and cakes all night long and we danced so much that I actually began to feel quite exhausted. Karl was there, which I thought was kind of Joseph, and he and Amalia danced together for most of the night. I think that Mama would have liked to have said something about it but it was such a happy occasion that she remained silent and looked the other way.

This morning we all went by carriage to Schönnbrunn where as a special treat Mama had arranged for snow to be brought down on carts from the mountains so that we could be pulled by horse drawn sleighs in the park. It was absolutely delightful and so much fun, until Ferdinand and Max decided to pelt everyone with snowballs, at which point everyone, even Amalia started to have a big snow fight, leaping from their sledges and plunging their hands into the snow and then flinging it at each other with whoops of glee. I discarded my thick fur lined gloves because they made it difficult for me to properly grasp and shape the snow into balls and after a short while my hands were red and sore from the cold, my big fur hat was lying abandoned and soggy on the ground, my hair was hanging in damp tendrils about my shoulders and my cheeks were bright crimson from laughter and exertion.
 

'Oh, my head hurts!' I complained to Friederike and Charlotte, who had shared my sledge with me and were joining in the fight with as much spirit and enjoyment as everyone else. 'I do not think that I have ever laughed so much in all my life!'

After this we went off to have hot chocolate, coffee and soft, sugary cakes in the palace and warmed ourselves before the big white stoves. It was altogether perfect.

Tuesday, 24
th
January, a snowy afternoon.

Last night was so thrilling! There was a knock on my door while I was sitting in front of my dressing table in my long white nightgown, watching sleepily in the mirror as one of my maids brushed out my hair, another pressed the brass warming pan in between the cool, cotton sheets of my bed and another stoked up the fire in the little white stove that stands in the corner of the room. Outside, the snow was falling heavily across Vienna and it was a fiercely cold night.

'Who could it be at such an hour?' Clara, the youngest of my maids said as she got up from her station in front of the stove, wiped her grimy hands on her apron and went to open the door. 'Your Highness!' I looked up with some surprise and saw my sister Amalia standing on the threshold, with a hooded red velvet cloak drawn up over her head and a mischievous smile on her lips.

'What is it?' I started up from the dressing table and drew her into the room. 'Is something wrong?' I nodded to my maids to dismiss them and they all bobbed curtseys and filed silently from the room.

'No, nothing is wrong!' Amalia said airily. 'Quite the reverse in fact! How would you like to come out to a ball?' She pulled aside her cloak and I saw that underneath she was wearing a fabulous, spangled gown of blue and silver embroidered brocade. 'Carnival season is in full swing in Vienna, don't you even feel the slightest curiosity to see it for yourself?'

I stared at her. 'Of course, but I never thought...' I had never expected to be allowed to go to any of the masked parties, balls and concerts that marked the thrilling Viennese Carnival. Mama was not entirely approving of the traditional revelries and had banned the masked Carnival goers from the city's streets, expecting them instead to celebrate in their own homes, which they did with spectacular nightly balls and parties. 'Will Mama mind?' I asked, wrapping a shawl around myself over my thin nightgown and sitting down cross legged on my bed.

Amalia laughed. 'No, you goose! Mama must never get to hear of this!' She lowered her voice thrillingly. 'We are to go in secret!'
 

'In secret?' I gasped, feeling both terrified at going against Mama's wishes and also excited to be doing something for myself and, for once, behaving like an ordinary girl. 'Truly?' Excitement overcame and banished fear and I jumped from the bed and ran to give Amalia a hug. 'Oh truly?'

'Yes, truly!' She kissed my cheek. 'Now, which of your maids do you trust the most? Ring for her and get her to fetch your prettiest dress and a heavy cloak as it is freezing outside. Do you have a mask?'
 

I was already pulling the bell cord to summon Clara. 'Yes, Joseph gave me one for Christmas. It is gold and very pretty.' I clapped my hands with delight. 'I can hardly believe it! Oh, Amalia, thank you so much!'

Clara was quick to understand what was happening and very readily agreed to keep it a secret from absolutely everyone. Without any fuss, she dressed my hair simply with a long, silken ringlet hanging over my shoulder and then laced me into a blue silk corset and into a lovely pink and gold dress that I had not yet had a chance to wear. Amalia added a touch of rouge to my already rosy cheeks and lips, dabbed some violet scent behind my ears and then fastened a simple diamond necklace around my neck and slipped some pearl bracelets on to my wrists. 'You look utterly delightful,' she said, kissing my cheek. 'Now, let me see you with your mask on! Ah, perfect!'

Clara fastened my blue velvet, fur lined cloak and pulled the hood up cosily over my head. 'I hope that you have a wonderful time, Your Highness,' she said with a grin.
 

Out we stepped into the gloomy corridor, before slipping down the dark back stairs and out through a series of courtyards until we found ourselves on the outside of the Hofburg. I stood on the street and stared up through the falling snow at the dark walls and tall windows of my home. How different and strange it looked.
 

'Come on!' Amalia grasped my hand and pulled me around the corner to where a plain black carriage was waiting for us. The coachman jumped down and pulled the door open for us and although he was swathed in a heavy black cloak and mufflers and had a hat pulled down low on his brow, I thought I recognised the sandy hair that fell about his collar.

'Thank you!' I smiled at him as he held my hand and helped me up into the vehicle. 'I had no idea that it was so cold outside.' I spoke in German, determined to be someone else for the night.
 

He laughed. 'It is indeed, Your Highness! Keep yourself wrapped up warmly!' He closed the door with a slam and then jumped up to the front. Within a few moments the carriage was moving through the deserted, white streets. Amalia smiled and took my hand as I stared with a hungry curiosity from the window at my mother's capital city, which I had never before seen at night. Because of the cold there were few people out and about but on the street corners, there were large cheerful fires in braziers, around which a few brave souls stood and warmed their chilled hands as they laughed and chatted together.
 

'Where are we going?' I asked at last.
 

Amalia smiled. 'I told you,' she replied, 'we are going to a party.' She patted my hand and began to hum a tune to herself. 'There will be dancing and young men and all sorts of lovely things. I do hope that you will enjoy it.'

Shortly afterwards the carriage came to a shuddering halt and a moment later the door was wrenched open and the coachman was helping me down on to the icy street. Amalia jumped down after me then nodded to the coachman, took my hand and led me through a large door that led into a pretty courtyard and then on to the main house, whose tall windows spilled light and colour and music on to the snow. I stared around me in wonderment as my sister led me into a large, marble floored entrance hall, which was crammed with splendidly dressed, masked revelers and bustling liveried footmen carrying silver trays laden with dozens of glasses of champagne and small tumblers of
schnapps
. There were candles everywhere, on every possible surface and the air was thick and heady with the scent of hair powder, pomade and the gorgeous musky perfumes favoured by the women of Vienna.
 

Amalia dropped back her hood, then undid her cloak with a flourish and handed it to a waiting footman, before signaling that I should do the same. 'Come on, let us go and find some fun!' she said, taking my hand and leading me through the surging, noisy crowd and up a wide marble staircase to an enormous, white and gold candlelit gallery that stretched the length of the house, its windows looking down over a snow covered garden at the back of the mansion. There everything was a swirl of noise and colour as a hidden orchestra played a popular tune and a vast crowd of people danced and cavorted joyously. I shrank behind Amalia a little as I watched a group of laughing young men do their best to snatch the black velvet mask from a lady's face as she pretended to slap them away and gave small, excited shrieks of fear. I began to think that perhaps this was not a good place for me to be.

'Do not be afraid,' Amalia whispered, squeezing my hand tightly and then leading me into the very heart of the crowd. We pushed our way past the boisterous, laughing dancers who clapped and twirled wildly in their brightly coloured clothes and made our way to one of the windows, which was not so densely populated. Amalia relieved a passing footman of two glasses of champagne and handed one to me with a smile. 'Here, drink this! It will give you courage!'

I did as she recommended and almost immediately the fear began to drain away and instead I felt quite exhilarated and began to look about myself quite confidently, even daring to meet the curious stares of some of the young men. 'Does anyone know who we are?' I asked in an undertone.

Amalia grinned. 'I am sure that some do but no one will ever admit to it! That is the beauty of the masked balls!' She brought out her silver spangled fan and began to ply it vigorously. 'It is so unbearably hot in here is it not? Amazing to think that outside it is so cold!' She smiled over my shoulder. 'Ah, here you are at last!'

I turned to see that a tall young man in a splendid blue velvet suit had silently joined us. The upper half of his face was obscured by a plain black velvet mask but I had no difficulty in recognising him to be Karl von Zweibrücken, who had also presumably acted as our coachman for the evening. He smiled down at me. 'And how are you enjoying your first masked ball, Your Highness?'

I returned his smile. 'Oh, very much.' My feet were tapping along to the music and I found myself watching the dancers and longing with all my heart to be able to join them.

Amalia tapped Karl on the arm with her glittering fan. 'We must find some partners for this girl,' she said with a laugh. 'Or she will not enjoy it for very long.'

Karl laughed. 'Leave it to me. I know just the fellow.' He gave a low bow then disappeared off into the crowd, leaving Amalia to sigh and stare after him.

'He is very handsome,' I said, rather lamely.
 

Amalia nodded. 'Yes, yes he is. Very handsome indeed.' She spread out her fan and examined it for a moment in silence before closing it and giving her usual bright, hard smile. 'I do hope he finds you someone equally as handsome to flirt with!'

'To flirt?' I shrank a little and my heart began to pound uncomfortably behind my stays. 'Oh, no, I don't think that I can do that!'

Amalia laughed at me. 'Now, why ever not? Do not suppose that I did not see you looking all forlorn and left out at your birthday ball with all of those very proper young gentlemen that Joseph and Mama had so obligingly picked out for you! No, I am persuaded that what you need is to flirt with young men and be just like every other girl, even if it is just this once.'