The Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens (18 page)

So orientation was pretty lame. I had to take a standardized English and math test and then write a dreaded essay describing who I am in 300 words or less. I was offended by the assumption it would take only 300 words to describe Ashley Juergens, so I spent 287 explaining why I thought the question was both trite and offensive. Ironically, I think that will give them a better idea of who I am than if I had actually answered the stupid question.

After testing we went to the auditorium for a Grant High School pep rally, where various students from the different clubs and sports groups gave presentations on why their extracurricular activity was most worth our spare time. Then the cheerleaders did a cheer about what it takes to be a great student: “What will make you cool? Doing your homework right after school! Don’t rest until you’ve studied for that test!” And my personal favorite, “High school is grand when you join a club, play a sport, or march in band!” Maybe I should start my own club, Ironics Anonymous.

At lunch I sat alone. I know Dad wanted me to make friends, but I have so much on my mind I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I wondered if maybe I have too much baggage to have friends. Who would want to listen to me talk about Amy, John, and my dysfunctional parents all the time? Sure, it’s interesting at first, but after a while it gets exhausting. At one point someone asked if the seat next to me was taken. I said it wasn’t and she dragged the chair to a nearby table that didn’t have any more empty seats. That’s when I started thinking maybe I should consider making some friends in high school.

I ran into Amy as she was leaving her history summer school class. She was checking her phone for any messages from Ben but there weren’t any. I checked my phone and read a text message Gio the concierge had sent me:
Ben and “special” friend update: They shared gelato and watched the sunset together.
I didn’t tell Amy what I knew. I figured what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her. And maybe there isn’t anything to know. Ben and this mystery girl are probably just friends. At least I’m hoping. It would make my life simpler. It would be nice to go in that direction for once.

Mom said the baby’s been kicking a lot. That settles it. That baby is one hundred percent Juergens. It’s feisty and it likes to show it. If it were David’s, Mom would be having the most boring pregnancy ever. Screw science, I’m going off general observation on this one. We’ll see if I’m wrong. I’ve rarely been so far!

It’s going to be strange to have a little brother or sister who’s fourteen years younger. Even stranger than having a nephew who is older than said brother or sister. I know I can handle it, but my younger sibling’s going to put a big dent in my high school social life. What if I get a boyfriend and he sees that Amy has a baby and Mom has a baby? He’ll think I have the most fertile genes on the planet and run off. My dad would love that.

It’s a weird thing to get used to at this stage in my life. Two babies and two houses. It might soon be one house. Adrian came over to ask my dad if he was interested in selling the house to her family. At first I was worried she was here to take my bed or hug my dad. She probably wants the house so she can spy on Ricky. I don’t care so much about that, but I’m not sure how I feel about Dad’s ex-girlfriend moving in next door. And I don’t know if Mom would welcome us back home. Especially since she might be engaged and Dad might be the father of her baby.

I’m not looking forward to next summer. What’s next, someone has twins? Triplets? I’m not going to get pregnant, so something else will have to happen to get Lauren and Madison gossiping.

I’m about to start high school and see Amy and her friends all day, every day. I might even make a friend or two of my own, maybe even start dating. . . . Which means I’m going to have even more to write about.

I guess I’ll have to buy a new journal.