Read The Secret Lives of Housewives Online
Authors: Joan Elizabeth Lloyd
“I think I'll do something different,” Angie said, gazing at the photo of a pink confection. “A strawberry daiquiri tonight, maybe. Tony was amazed when I came home a bit slozzed the last time we did this. I usually don't drink, but I was a bit tipsy and”âshe colored and tried unsuccessfully to suppress a grin,â“well, if the truth were known, we made hot, hungry love like we haven't since before the twins were born. It was fabulous.”
“Go, girl!” Monica said, raising her palm toward Angie for a slap. “And you didn't tell us until now?” Monica felt Angie's palm tap hers lightly, then Angie's face reddened still more. “Now you're really blushing. Was it that good?”
“Actually, it was wonderful,” Angie said, head down. Then she slumped. “Too bad it hasn't lasted.”
“We'll have to work on that,” Cait said, leaning forward on her elbows. “Angie and I have been going out together once a week for almost a month. We call it shopping, and we do shop, but they're more therapy sessions for both of us. I think I'm hurt that you waited until tonight to admit to the occasional bout of good sex.”
Head still lowered, Angie said, “It's so difficult to talk about. I come from a very closed-mouth family and I've never had friends like you three.”
They all linked hands. “Yeah,” Eve sighed. “Me, too.”
“Three,” Cait said, nodding.
“Four,” Monica added.
“Okay, enough of this love fest. Let's get to the important stuff.” Cait turned to the waitress who'd arrived at their table. “A margarita, a strawberry daiquiri, and⦔
“I'll have a piña colada,” Monica said. “Eve?”
“Give me a rum and coke. Two shots of rum, please.”
“Let's have a plate of those irresistible nachos, too,” Cait said.
“You're mean. Those are so bad for my cholesterol,” Monica said.
“I know,” Cait said with an evil grin. “Ain't I horrible?”
“Okay, new topic. I've got a question for you all tonight,” Monica said, “and my own fabulous answer. What's the most unusual place you've ever made it?”
“Okay,” Cait said. “No games. No answers from us. Spill yours.”
“Dan and I finally did it.” She paused, then when no one looked startled, she added, “You're not surprised.”
“Nope,” Cait said, looking quite proud of herself. “We all knew it was just a matter of time. I gather that you did it someplace weird, however.”
“I guess I was the only one in doubt about having sex with Dan. Well, we started to make out at the top of the Ferris wheel at the Grange Fair.”
“You're kidding,” Angie said, her jaw literally dropping. “Tony and I took the babies, but they were asleep before the fireworks. I wanted to see their reactions but we went home early.”
“At the top of the Ferris wheel?” Cait said, unwilling to let the story stop there.
Monica described her evening with Dan, leaving out only the most intimate details.
“Oh my God,” Cait said, her grin wide, her hand reaching out to shake Monica's. “That's so bizarre, and so romantic. You have to buy the first round.”
Drinks arrived and the women took their first swallows, pleasure evident on all four faces. “So things are going well with you two, Monica,” Angie said.
Monica set her drink down with a clunk. “Very well.”
“What's he like when he's not doing yoga?”
“He's a very busy and successful man. He works for one of those Internet service companies and he's the guy who travels around fixing stuff. That's about all I know about what he does.”
“What kinds of things do you do together, besides the obvious, of course?” Cait continued.
“It's really silly. A few weeks ago we went bowling. I haven't been bowling since high school but he insisted. He knows about my visit to the doctor that started this whole thing, and he says he's on a campaign to keep me relaxed and healthy.”
“A very wise man. What else?”
“Last week we went to Yonkers Raceway. We had a really nice dinner at the restaurant that overlooks the track and I bet on the horses.” She giggled. “He did everything scientifically, reading all the data about how the horses ran last time and in what kind of weather. I picked mine because of the name and I actually came out ahead.” She winked. “He lost twenty dollars. He also taught me a word game called Boggle and we play a lot, sometimes for forfeits, but let's not dwell on that.” She couldn't control her delicious discomfort. The forfeits were usually sexual in nature. “We just have fun together.”
“It all sounds so perfect.”
“It is, and it terrifies me.”
“You can make the most fabulous things into such a problem,” Angie said, shaking her head in wonder.
“I know. I can't help it. I'm frightened that he'll turn out to be like all other men.” When three women took breaths to argue, she said, “Okay, not all men, but most. I'm scared that I'll get hurt like my mom did when my dad left.” She told them a quick version of her teen years. “Every time I think about getting deeply involved with Dan my stomach hurts. What if he splits like Jake?”
“You're right to be cautious, I suppose,” Cait said. “If you don't try, you won't get hurt. But you won't know the joy of a great relationship, either. You know the old saying, nothing ventured⦔
“Nothing gained,” Monica finished. “I know. There's another aspect to this, too. It's obvious that I didn't come to Dan a virgin, but he doesn't know the extent of my exploits. You all know, work and all. Since we're sleeping together now I assume that he'll want us to be monogamous. I can't give up the freedom to be with whoever I need to be with. My business will suffer if I do.”
“How do you know that?” Cait asked. “Maybe you're good at your job and the sex thing is just a fringe benefit for the guys involved. Maybe you'd have gotten everything you have without the casting couch.”
“I doubt it. I'm good at what I do for the agency, but not that good.”
“Maybe you're merely borrowing trouble?” Angie said. “Do you really think he'll feel that way?” When Monica shrugged, she continued, “Do you feel that way? Is he seeing anyone else?”
“No. At least, I don't think so. He seems really focused. On me.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Angie said. “How do you feel about it?”
The waitress arrived with a plate of nachos, and to stall, Monica grabbed a tortilla chip and chewed slowly. After a swallow of her drink, she continued. “The whole thing scares me to death.” Her shoulders slumped. “Men just aren't reliable. Things are so good now, but what about when someone else comes along? What guarantee do I have?”
“None,” Cait said, “but there are no guarantees with anything in life. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow morning. Make the most of everything and every day. That's my motto, and if being with Dan is good today, suck the juice out of it, so to speak.”
Giggles rippled across the table at her double entendre. Monica licked salsa from her fingers and thought about Dan. Maybe they were all right and she should just plunge ahead. “That's okay for you,” Monica said. “You've got your on-line guy and Logan.”
“I guess.” Cait's face darkened. “Actually, my on-line guy worries me a bit. He's been hinting that he wants us to meet in person.”
“That's not a very good idea,” Angie said.
“I know that,” Cait snapped, “and thank God he's in Fairbanks and I'm here.” She turned to Angie. “Sorry I jumped down your throat. The whole thing makes the hair on the back of my neck prickle and as good as the sex is, part of me is sorry I started the whole thing.”
“I don't wonder,” Monica said. “If he's hinting at getting together, then maybe you should stop chatting with him. Keep your computer turned off.”
“I know,” Cait said, rubbing her thumbnail with her index finger, “but it's so good. It's the only sex I get these days.”
“Then be really careful not to give him any information about where you live and stuff,” Monica said. “How about telling Logan? He might be able to help calm you down.”
Cait's mouth tightened and she said firmly, “Not a chance. Even though I don't think it's cheating, he wouldn't understand.”
“Okay,” Monica said. “Not an option. I can talk to Dan, if you like. He understands this stuff. That's what he does. Maybe he can help somehow.”
“Don't tell him who you want the information for.”
“Okay,” Monica said. “I'll just say it's for a friend.” She grabbed another chip.
“You say the on-line stuff is the only sex you get?” Angie said, obviously not letting that remark slip by.
“Yeah,” she said sadly. “Logan's a non-event. It doesn't happen at all now.”
“I'm sorry. I don't get much, but once in a while⦔ Angie blushed again.
“I have to admit that I miss him,” Cait said with a sigh. “He's annoying at times, and very distant these days, but I do care about him. I feel there's a gigantic wall between us and I can't penetrate it. Last week I tried to talk to him about trying again to have a baby.”
“I thought you didn't want to go the fertility route.”
“I didn't, but I've been spending time with Angie's kids and it's given me the itch. I mentioned it to Logan last week and he snapped at me, positively cut me off. âNo kids. I just don't want to, and that's that.'”
“Didn't he want to give his parents a grandson?” Monica asked. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“I've no clue.”
Angie's voice lowered. “I hate to say this, but we're all pretty honest with each other. Could he be planning on leaving you? Kids would make that so much more complicated.”
“I thought about that and it could be. I don't really know him right now so I can't figure it all out. He's positively schizophrenic. Sometimes he's easy to get along with and really seems to love me. At othersâ¦I just don't know anything anymore.” She blinked several times, then said, “Let's change the subject.”
Monica looked at Eve, who'd consumed her drink and not said a word. “Eve, you've been very quiet. Is something wrong?”
E
ve raised her head and fiddled with the straw from her drink. She'd been feeling depressed since the previous Wednesday. “Yeah, I guess there is.” She paused as everyone turned to look at her. “I met Mike's wife last week at work and I can't get past it.”
“Shit,” Cait said.
Suddenly it all poured out. “I'd never met her until last Wednesday, when she came into the office to pick him up for lunch and a show. It felt awful.” She held her hand up, her index finger and thumb about an inch apart. “I felt about this high. She's a very nice, kind of ordinary woman who seems oblivious to everything that's going on.”
“Did you talk to him about it?” Angie asked.
“What is there to say? âOh, Mike, I met your wife. She's a nice woman and you're a shit for cheating on her.' No, and it's not about him anymore. It's about me. I have to decide what I'm going to do, and it confuses the hell out of me. I know I shouldn't want to be with a married man, but I still do.” She folded and unfolded the straw. “Part of me thinks that I'm horrible for taking him away from his wife, but a voice in my head says that if he weren't with me he'd be with someone else, so why not stay with him. If I don't have Mike, what do I have?” She blinked several times, trying to keep tears from pooling in her eyes.
“You have yourself, and you have us,” Angie said. “That's a pretty good start.”
“I've been alone and lonely all my life. I don't want to start over.” To have something to do with her hands, she dropped the mangled straw and fiddled with her napkin.
“Tony's got several unmarried cousins,” Angie said with a weak smile. “I could have a dinner party.”
Eve's voice was small and soft. “Thanks, but I'm not ready for that yet. First, I have to decide about my future with Mike.” She crumpled the napkin and dropped it on the table.
“How do you think he'll take it if you tell him you don't want to see him again?” Monica asked.
“I don't know.” Her hesitation lasted several long seconds. “If the truth were known, I suspect he's already got another girlfriend somewhere. I've become a convenient habit. Funch on Tuesdays.”
Angie gasped. “You mean he's got three women with the hots for him? He must be quite something.”
“He's really pretty ordinary, but in the beginning, he made me feel special and that was everything to me.”
“He's just a man,” Monica said, with a resigned sigh and a shake of her head. “Men will take what they can get.”
“Don't do that!” Eve snapped, suddenly tired of Monica's persistent attitude about men and constant sniping. “I care about him, and by insulting him you insult me. Anyway, Mike may not be a particularly nice man, but that doesn't translate into your rule about all men.”
Monica was obviously taken aback. “Okay,” she said, quickly retreating. “I didn't mean anything about you personally, Eve. I'm sorry it came out that way.”
Slightly mollified, Eve relaxed her shoulders. “Apology accepted. Sorry I yelled.”
Cait jumped in. “Enough of your jaundiced view of the male gender, Monica. Eve, is there anything any of us can do to help?”
“I wish there were, but no, not really. It's my problem and I have to decide what to do about it. Let's change the subject.” She huffed. “We seem to say that a lot.”
“Yeah, we do,” Cait said. “I guess we get into a lot of serious stuff. At least we're honest about the way we feel so we never have to guess where we stand. I think that's something really special.” Everyone nodded in agreement. “Changing the subject right now is a good idea, however, and I know just the thing. I may be the only one, other than Angie, of course, who's focused on it, but I think it's time for a little celebration.” She waved at the waitress. “Next Thursday is the twins' first birthday.”
“It is? Already?” Monica said, her face lighting up. “Wow. Congratulations.”
“Yeah,” Eve joined her. “Happy birthday to both your wonderful babies.”
“Their first birthday. They're surely not babies anymore,” Angie said. “We're having Tony's family and mine over next Sunday for a party for the twins. I haven't seen Tony's folks since the wedding, and they're coming up from North Carolina and staying with one of his brothers.” Suddenly the joy left her face. “If the truth be known, I'm not looking forward to all those judgmental relatives looking over my home and deciding whether or not I'm a good housewife and mother.”
“They won't be doing that,” Eve scoffed. “Will they?”
“A few of them will, I'm afraid. I love Tony's brothers and their wives, but Tony's mother thinks he was better off with Jordanna. His mother always says what a classy lady she was.”
The waitress arrived with a small but heavily frosted chocolate cake with a pair of candles burning in the center. Several servers gathered around as everyone sang happy birthday to Brandon and MaryLee. “Blow and wish,” Cait said. To the others she added, “I brought this over this afternoon. There's always room for chocolate.”
“You're really a peach,” Eve said, then turned to a waitress. “Let's add a round of Irish coffees.”
“Good idea,” Monica chimed in.
Angie looked totally overwhelmed, but when Eve warned her that candle wax was dripping on the cake, she blew. “What did you wish for?” Eve asked.
“If I tell it won't come true, and anyway I don't know whether I get a wish on Brandon and MaryLee's cake.”
“What would you have wished for?” Eve asked.
“For this coming weekend to be over and for all of the family to think I'm a good wife for Tony and mother for my babies.”
“I'm sure they will, so just relax,” Cait said.
“Is there anything any of us can do to help with the festivities?” Monica asked. “Blow up balloons or vacuum? I make a mean fruit punch.”
With a small chuckle, Angie said, “We've got everything pretty much planned but I might make an emergency phone call if things get bad.”
“You have all our numbers so phone away,” Monica said. “We're all here for you.”
“I know, and thanks. I'd invite you all, too⦔
“Next weekend is for family,” Monica said. “Tonight is our celebration, for our little family right here.”
“Yeah,” everyone said.
The waitress had whisked the cake away and now returned with small slices on plates and steaming mugs of coffee, liberally laced with Irish whiskey. “I wish I had known,” Monica said. “I'd have brought the twins gifts.”
“Not a chance,” Angie said. “They don't need more stuff and all the relatives will bring enough more to bury both the children. No gifts from you guys.”
“Sorry,” Cait said, handing her a small box. “Too late.”
“You didn't.”
“Oh, but I did. It will need some explaining, so open it and I'll fill you in.” Angie opened the small box and pulled out a car key with remote starter attached.
“You didn't get her a car?” Monica asked, amazed.
Cait grinned and cupped her mug in her long fingers. “No, I didn't. Actually, I would have, Angie, but Logan and I talked about it and knew you wouldn't accept it. However, that is the key to our van. I talked this all over with him and we agreed. You can have the use of the van full-time unless we need it ourselves for some reason. He'll drive his little convertible and I've got my Honda.”
Angie dropped the key onto the table and pushed it back toward Cait, shaking her head. “I can't take this.”
“Of course you can and you will. It doesn't mean we'll stop visiting each week, but it's a genuine offer. What the hell do Logan and I need with three cars? Anyway, it's not for you. It's for the babies. A happy mother is better for both of them and now that they're within days of taking their first independent steps you'll need sanity more than ever.”
“They're walking?” Monica cried.
“Almost. Cait, are you sure Logan agreed to this?” Angie was breathless.
“He was a lamb. Once he turned down the baby thing he was more than willing to let me have my way. When I told him about you and your twins being essentially carless, he suggested the loan of the van. It was actually his idea.” She winked. “With a little prompting from me, of course. I've been telling him all about you, Angie, and the twins, and he knows I'm really stuck on all three of you.”
“I don't want to take this if Logan's just doing it to placate you about not having a baby.”
“Why not? Let him do something good for a change.” There was a slightly unpleasant tone in Cait's voice.
“You're obviously really upset about the baby thing. I'm sorry if being with my kids has caused you such problems.”
“Not at all, sweetie,” Cait said, taking the key and pressing it into Angie's hand. “Logan's just weird these days. I don't have a clue what's up with him.”
“You think something's going on? Maybe he knows about you and Hotguy.” Then Monica's voice dropped. “Or there's another woman.”
“Shut up, Monica,” Cait said, her tone taking some of the sting out of her words. “You're very quick to believe the worst but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think there's another woman, and if he knew about Hotguy he would have said something straight out. He's gone a lot, but when he's around he's really pleasant to be with. He seems to be making quite an effort.”
Monica tried to control her face so she didn't smirk. Eve saw the “Of course there's another woman. Men are all shits” look on Monica's face.
“I wonder what's up,” Angie said, idly glancing around. “Damn,” she hissed, then ducked her head. “What's she doing here?”
“Who?”
“Jordanna.” She motioned with her head. “Just sitting down, over there.”
The three women craned their necks and Eve saw a poised-looking woman with a long ebony French braid and deep blue eyes. She was dressed in a blue and white striped shirt and neatly pressed white slacks and was taking a seat across from an older couple. “That's Tony's ex?” Eve asked, sotto voce.
“The famous Jordanna who we all agreed to hate?” Cait added.
Angie nodded, then ducked her head and stared down at her cake. “I thought this was
my
place with
my
friends.”
“She doesn't have anything to do with us,” Cait assured her. “She's just another piece of furniture.”
“Who's that with her?” Eve asked, trying not to stare. Jordanna was pretty much what she'd expected, classically good-looking but a little stiff and stuffy. Angie was so much warmer and more alive.
Angie took a peek. “Those are her parents, Martin and Pat, I think. I met them once several months ago. Tony, the babies, and I were in the mall and Jordanna came up to us, all sweetness and light. She introduced her parents and Tony seemed glad to see them. They mumbled a quick, slightly embarrassed hello in my direction, then pretty much ignored me while they made a big fuss over the babies. Jordanna made a point of saying that everyone missed Tony, but to her folks' credit, they both looked really uncomfortable.”
“I'll bet,” Eve said, still staring over at Jordanna's table. “Shall I go over there and spill a drink on her?”
Giggling, Angie said, “No. It's okay. It just startled me.”
“It doesn't surprise me that she can hide her horns under all that hair,” Eve quipped, “but I think it's amazing that her tail fits in those tight pants.” The four women laughed. As Angie snuck another peek at Jordanna's table, Cait slapped her palm on the table, barely missing Angie's fingers. “None of that. Concentrate on us. We're much cuter anyway.”
Angie looked at the other three. “You're much better than almost anyone. Thanks for being you.”
“Cake,” Eve said, forking a large piece into her mouth, to keep the conversation from getting too sticky, “and this wonderfully decadent coffee.”
“I'm not much of a sweets person, so if you don't mind,” Monica said, “I think I'll stick to the nachos.”
Eve slid her hand across the table, caught Monica's plate, and eased it toward her. “Chocolate cake is the ultimate comfort food.”
“Actually, the ultimate comfort food is mashed potatoes with lots of gravy,” Cait said, “but this comes in a close second.”
They spent the next several minutes in a heated debate about the merits of various foods then moved on to other topics. Eventually, they got their check. Cait grabbed it and reached for her credit card. “Cait,” Eve said, “if I can't pay my share it's going to get difficult for me to keep going out with you.”
“That goes for me, too,” Angie chimed in. “I don't want to feel like a charity case.”
When Monica nodded, Cait surrendered the check to her, and Monica quickly did the appropriate calculations. The women put money on the little plastic tray and walked toward the door. “Angie,” Cait said, “why don't I pick you up in the morning in the van, then we can install the car seats and you can drive me back to my place? If you want, we can go to the mall in between.”